Snowflakes
by cathandsaraforever55
Summary: In a struggle to save a life, and their sanity Catherine, and Sara are brought closer together than ever, as they walk the line between friendship, and love. CSR
1. Chapter 1

Story- Snowflakes

Rating-M

Credits-All characters belong to CBS no matter how much I'd love to take credit for them lol

Spoliers- seasons 7+8**

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**"Oh hey! How are you?"** Catherine notes the bags under the older man's eyes, and the way his clothes are loosely fitting him. Loss, and pain float in his stormy blue eyes, and nothing could possible hide the toll life has recently taken on Gil Grissom.

**"Why!?"** Anxiousness sudden shoots across Grissom's face he knows that if anyone can read his emotions it is his long time friend Catherine Willows. The fiery blonde has been one of his only true friends that have stuck by his side all these years, and she has her ways of getting under his skin, but it doesn't shield the care that she shows toward Grissom from his view. No matter how much it annoys him he knows she is only checking up on him out of concern.

**"Can't I ask you how you're doing?"** Her eyes are penetrating his shield in an all knowing way, and Grissom knows that there is no way around the truth.

**"Oh I'm sorry I've just had a lot of uh… I've been busy."** Catherine watches Gil squirm under her gaze, she knows how to get this stubborn man to talk, and she is determine to now. He needs a friend right now, and she is not going to leave him alone in the dark.

**"Oh well…… maybe you should take a few days off, for once in your career. I mean you've got enough stored up. Go after her."** Now shock flashes onto the older mans face, but quickly disappears.

**"It's not what she wants."**

**"What do you want?"**

**"I want her to be happy."** Catherine's eyes wander after Gil. His intentions are sweet, and heart warming, but are killing him in the process. More energy is drained from him as he tries to hide what is obvious instead of admitting that he is hurting. Catherine turns, and heads back to her office she is longing to retreat into the darkness where she can allow her thoughts to consume her. She shuts the door behind her, and pulls the shades a sign everyone knows means stay away. Sitting she stares at the ducks and smiles to herself as memories flow back into her head. She is still as perturbed as the first day they appeared there that even though she is Swing Shift Supervisor she cannot have her own office. Soon the ducks bring her back to a person, the same person that everything she looks at reminds her of. Catherine has always had a lousy choice in men, but they have been the type she could use her sexuality against, or on depending on the moment. Only one person has ever challenged Catherine, and her methods of dealing with men, that person is also the only person that she has ever loved that has pushed her to be her best, and challenged her actions and authority, Sara Sidle. Now the lanky brunette is gone; she had, had enough, and last week she walked out and left for good. No one knows where she has gone, Catherine has tried her hardest to track the younger woman, but she is one of the best CSI's in the country, and if she doesn't want to be found she won't be. Sara has the power to fall of the face of the Earth, and she has used it to start a new life for herself. Maybe one day she will reappear, but not now. The last to hear from her was the moving company who took her things to the airport, but that's where her paper trail seems to end.

Catherine used to watch with envy as Grissom intimately touched Sara, for he is the only one she has ever truly loved. Catherine used to think Grissom a fool, as he completely ignored what an amazing thing he had going for him if he just took the chance. Yet anger mixed with that envy, as she watched Grissom push Sara away then pull her back, and push her away again. He never seemed to notice her patiently waiting, heart broken, but waiting all the same for him to come to his senses. Sara never had a reason to suspect Catherine's true feelings and had she known them would she have acted on that knowledge Catherine can only wonder silently to herself. She remembers the first time she ever saw the new girl that came in to split up the team. She walked in with a lost look on her face asking for Catherine Willows; her dark brown orbs held only care, and were yet to be tinted by years on the job, and years chasing Grissom. Catherine remembers how right away she had started off treating the woman horrible. At first she was jealous of the young woman standing in front of her who could easily take her place after all she had worked for. Then she was subjected to Sara's adorable gap tooth smile, and was floored by her beauty, and intrigued by Sara's knowledge, and by her own feelings that now flooded her. This didn't stop Catherine from almost always being cold, and distant with the other woman over the years, and the more she wanted to be with Sara the bitchier she would become. Catherine picked fights with Sara, and as a result Sara would pick fights with her, but deep inside Catherine has always felt protective of Sara, and at the same time attracted to her. When these two finally fused she had an intense love for the woman, but when Catherine realized her to feelings she rejected them, and pushed them as far into herself as she could. She made Sara's life as miserable as possible with comments and actions that could cut like knife, and Catherine has no doubt that at times they did. Catherine has been disgusted with herself ever since Sara left. She knows she was one of the biggest contributors to the factors that caused Sara to burn out, and start to self destruct so much that she had to leave Vegas completely behind.

Constantly Sara's face floats into Catherine's mind throwing her off track, and back into a state of depression. Everything around her becomes so dark, and rejecting that Catherine can't function. She rids herself of all of her feeling except those that keep her close to the demons that live inside her. People don't seem to mean anything to her any more, and she pulls away from them for they waste her time, and can't comprehend the pain she is suffering. At the same time she can barely recognize them, and is afraid she is mistaken for the ones that she loves do not have the darkness in them that she sees. All she wants is Sara, and she can see her face so vividly that she pulls the brunette to her, but she never comes any closer so Catherine pushes her away, as she is lost in fits of tears that are never ending. She spends nights with waterfalls of tears pouring down her face, while the world around her disappears all, but the images of Sara's face as Catherine wrestles with herself. Abruptly Catherine is ripped out of her depression by anger, which drives her closer to the edge. She is blinded by the red fury toward herself as her own words repeat in nonstop strands through her head. People shrink away from her in these times afraid to be the target of all the rage that boils beneath Catherine's skin. It is itching to be released, and craves the fears, and tears of others; Sara's face is busy fueling the fire that has exploded in Catherine's soul. Catherine then usually collapses in exhaustion, engulfed by a blinding white, after days on end of raw emotion. Yet the white is not a calmness, or love, but pure numbness. Life does not mean anything to Catherine, but she does not feel hopelessness she dose not feel anything. It's a numbness that brings her burning tears for no reason other than to torture her. Catherine is only brought reassurance that she is still alive, and human when Sara's face again appears leading her back into reality, back to her work, her friends, and her daughter, until her emotions feel the need to strike again.

Catherine takes deep breaths trying to pull herself out of her fog enveloped thoughts, for the fear of giving into her emotions again.

Her office door flies open, and slams against the wall beside it. Catherine rushes to wipe the tears from her face, as Ecklie strolls into the room with a grim looks plastered across his face. **"Catherine I have a new case for Swing. It looks like it could be another in a chain of stalker rapist murders that we have been dealing with. So far there have been four others with the same MO in Vegas, and we have yet to run any of the evidence through a national database, and that will be a job for the CSI assigned. Now the reason I am telling you this personally is no offense to any of your team, but I am hoping you can handle the case, because we need one of Vegas' finest to nail this guy."**

Catherine sighs thinking about all of the time she is already missing with her daughter. **"Yeah sure Ecklie I can do it. It's not like I have a life, or a family, or anything."**

Ignoring the blonde's last comment he replies, **"Good."** He tosses the files on her desk, and retreats from the room. –

**"Hey Cat wait up!"** Catherine winces at the nickname; for some reason she has only allowed Sara to call her that, and it brings back memories she does not wish to relive at the moment. Catherine turns to face Greg.

**"Greg, Greg, Greg how many times have I told you not to call me that. Now depending on what you have to tell me I might let it slide."**

**"Well I ran the MO through the database like you told me to and received five hits from Connecticut."**

**"Okay thanks Greg it looks like I will be visiting Connecticut; I hope the weather is not too bad."** Catherine quickly stops in front of Greg, and he would have tripped over her if she had not already been halfway down the hall on the way to her office.

Catherine calls the lab in Connecticut that is closest to were the crimes occurred to give them a heads up about her arrival, and is informed not only that they should have someone ready to prep her on the cases there, and take her to the most recent crime scene, but to dress warm because it is snowing. Grumbling Catherine then makes her way to Grissom's office to inform him that she will be gone for a while, and to see if he could pick her up from the airport.

Catherine is driving home frustrated after an argument with he mother who will be watching Linzz while she is away. Her mother always gets on her case about how little time she spends with her daughter, and it drives Catherine even more insane then it would had her mother been around a little more herself as Catherine was growing up.

Catherine reaches the airport and gets to the right gate just as they are having their last call for passengers, and boards the plan realizing she should probably review the case files before she reaches her destination.

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TBC……….. 


	2. Chapter 2

Catherine gasps as she walks out into the cold streets of Connecticut to catch a cab. She has already had her clothes sent ahead to the hotel she reserved a room in, but seeing as to how it was short notice Catherine has no doubt it is probably a pretty shitty room. Catherine believes she remembers the important details from the case file so that she won't seem completely incompetent when she talks to the Days Supervisor at the lab.

Entering the building the walls are plain white, as she walks up to the front desk Catherine notes as she glimpses inside the actual lab that they are not yet quite as advanced as the one she came from. Catherine steps up to the desk, and is greeted by a kind smile. The woman's name tag says Betty; she has red hair that is starting to be streaked with gray that falls around her face, and bright green eyes that are kind, and trusting. Catherine returns the smile, and flashes the credentials that hang from her neck. **"I'm here to consult with the Days Supervisor on a few cases that seem to have the same MO's as the ones we have processed in Vegas."**

**"Ah yes, I heard you would be coming. If you would like to have a seat the supervisor should be with you in a moment, she is handing out assignments."**

**"I should be fine if you point me in the direction of the office, and I could wait there."**

**"Okay we're not supposed to allow it, but you seem like a sweet young woman, so I will let you sweetie just don't do anything to get me in trouble. It's not hard to miss go straight down the hall to the end, and turn left it will be straight ahead of you, and it is covered in boxes with a bare desk."**

**"Okay thanks Betty I promise not to get you in trouble." **Catherine gives her an innocent smile, and follows her directions down the hall. She peers into each room as she walks by Catherine has never really been able to control her curiosity. She finds the office she is supposed to be in and helps herself to one of the cushy black chairs in front of the desk. Catherine has never been in an office with such comfy chairs for their guests, and she enjoys it as she looks around the office not doing anything that could get her in trouble if she is caught. The desk is a small standard offfice desk that is usually provided by the lab. Boxes are stacked in piles of five around the room, an a few boxes are open where the supervisor has started loading books onto the shelves.Catherine looks at the book mostly forensic textbooks a few specifically on blood spatter or entamology. Catherine opens a file and starts skimming over it quickly hoping that she has memorized enough she hates being unprepared, and unorginized, and this whole case has been that way so far she didn't even get a chance to orginize her luggage.

Sara Sidle walks down the hall to her office, and freezes in the doorway as she stares at a familiar blonde head sitting in one of her chairs. Sara knew smeone was coming to confernce but it had never registered to her that it could possibly be someone from Vegas, and out of all the people Sara hopes they can get along long enough to solve the case. Quietly taking a deep breath Sara decides she should make her presence known. **"Cat?"**

Catherine's head whips around at the sound of the familiar voice that she has been longing to hear again. **"Sara,"** she jumps out of the chair, and rushes over to the brunette pulling her into a hug, **"God I've been so worried about you."** Sara is shocked by the blonde's sudden showing of affection, but isn't going to stop it by pulling out of the hug. She hugs Catherine back, and is surprised by how good it feels. Catherine pulls away to get a better look at Sara, but refuses to completely break contact so she rests her hands on Sara's toned arms. She sees the look on the brunette's face, and pulls away in fear that she had already gone too far. **"Sorry that was kind of sudden."**

**"No Cat I liked it, it was nice. So how have you been?"** Sara examines Catherine relief shows in her clear blue pools, she is looking a gorgeous as ever, yet a few new worry lines are showing on her face, but they are fading quickly. At the same time Catherine is taking in Sara's presence she is even prettier than Catherine remembers. She looks tired, and worn out, but less so than the last time Catherine had saw her. Catherine gives Sara the biggest smile she can.

**"I've been alright. Things have been hectic at the lab, and no one is exactly the same, but we've been trying our hardest to get by. You looks great by the way."**

**"Oh, so ummm thanks you do too so ummm… how is Gil?"**

**"He's Gil you know he's trying to hide his pain, but it is pretty obvious."**

Sara's face is blanketed by sadness, but it is gone as quickly as it came.** "So please have a seat."** Catherine returns to her place in the chair, and Sara instead of going around her desks takes a seat in the chair next to Catherine's.** "I know you had to rush here, where are you staying?"**

**"I have a hotel room."**

**"Hotel, where?"**

**"Around the corner."**

**"I don't think so you are staying with me for as long as you need to."**

**"Sara I don't want to be in the way the room will be fine."**

**"I won't here of it Cat you're staying with me."**

**"Okay, I know better than to argue with you."** She flashes a smile at Sara that reaches here eyes, and Sara notes Catherine seems truly happy around her. Sara smiles back, and notices a trace of longing in Catherine's eyes, but it vanishes quickly. **"So you are here about a case I'm assuming."**

**"Yeah let's see after carefully examining the files on the plane ride here,"** Catherine looks up from the file, and winks at Sara causing the younger woman to laugh. A sound that makes Catherine's heart skip a beat. **"It appears the MO….."**

**"Catherine?"** Catherine looks up at Sara who is frantically look around for something that is not Catherine to rest her eyes on. **"You won't tell any one I'm here will you?"**

Catherine reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind Sara's ear, and Sara jumps at the unexpected touch. _I've got to stop doing that I'm making her uncomfortable._** "No your secret is safe with me."**

Sara weakly smiles at Catherine, **"So MO."**

**"Oh yeah,… right the age tends to vary depending what shape the victim is in, she is always blonde, nice body, and pretty. She tends to be more glamorous versus tomboy…"**

**"Catherine you do realize you have just described yourself."**

Catherine thinks about it for a few seconds, **"I'm not really that pre…"**

**"Stop lying you're gorgeous, and we both know it."**

**"I guess you're right, but I always keep my out for anything unusual it comes with the job, and I haven't noticed anyone repeatedly showing up except for the people I work with, and Linzz so I'm fine."**

**"Okay just be careful." **

**"I will be don't worry."** Catherine smiles at Sara trying to reassure her, but knows it is not working.** "Can I ask you something that might seem slightly creepy, okay more than slightly probably?"**

**"Ummm... sure."** Sara's expression makes Catherine laugh; she is shrugging, and her face is slightly scrunched, it is very cute.

**"How did you manage not to leave any paper trail?"**

**"How would you know tha…… you were looking for me weren't you?"**

**"Maybe."**

Sara leans into Catherine's ear, and rests her hand on Catherine's knee for support joking around with the blonde. Catherine is having a hard time not anxiously squirming beneath the woman's touch. Sara whispers in her ear, **"Now Cat you know a good CSI never reveals there secrets, and even though you have showed concern you know I can't tell you; plus you know all of the best ways to disappear you are a brilliant CSI."**

Catherine looks at the brunette in disbelief, **"You are going to constantly ridicule me now that you know that I care about you aren't you?"**

**"No I just couldn't help myself, it is actually a great relief to know you care about me. You want to see that crime scene right?"**

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TBC... 


	3. Chapter 3

**"Is that all you have to wear?" **Sara is examining Catherine's attire with disapproval. **"You are going to freeze."**

**"Well if you already don't remember it doesn't get this cold in Vegas. I don't have any clothes to keep me warm in ten degree weather."** Sara laughs at Catherine's frustration with the weather _it is adorable_ in its own way, and Sara can't help but be slightly shocked at that thought.

**"Here take my jacket I've got another in the back."** Catherine slips on Sara's jacket, and is overwhelmed by the sweet fruity smell coming off of it, and the warmth that surrounds her from Sara's own body. Sara finds Catherine smiling to herself. **"What?"**

**"Nothing."**

They both step out of the car into the cold remote area. The house is well hidden without many neighbors, pretty much the perfect place to commit at crime when you don't want to be heard. The snow is falling harder, and Catherine is in awe of the white world around her. She has seen snow before, but it still never ceases to amaze her how beautiful, and silent the world becomes with its presence. It is almost as if her and Sara are the only two people in the whole world. Sara is watching Catherine glance around at the snow, and is enjoying the look of awe on the blonde's face, **"Beautiful isn't it?"**

**"Yeah, breath taking."** Cath turns to looks at the log cabin, she can picture the smoke spiraling out of the little chimney that afternoon as the killer stood outside of the now familiar house.

**"The scene hasn't been cleaned up yet, but there is no evidence we could risk destroying so we don't have to be careful."**

**"Good so it can just be a walk in walk out kinda thing, so that we can get a feel of the scene, and its emotions."**

**"It should be."**

As they the two women enter they are brought into what would be a cute welcoming hallway if it wasn't for the obvious signs of struggle.In the crime scene pictures the floor is littered with papers, and furniture some of the expensive pieces such as the mahogany table was broken into many pieces, upon entering. Now the first sign of struggle is blood spatter halfway down the hall where a stray elbow possible could have caused the small amount of it. The pattern of deep red on the wall is distorted in the area where samples were taken. Small drops of blood lead the two CSI's into the bedroom where a huge stain of blood had pooled, and since dried. Photos show the victim was handcuffed to the bed which is indicated by the scratches on the bed frame. She had been severely beaten, but the face was avoided as much as possible. The surroundings had suggested around the time of investigation that the victim had been put through torture for about three days before having their throat slashed, and it was the same for all the others. Catherine looks back at Sara, her jaw is clenched, and anger is detectable is her attractive features. **"Are you okay?"** Catherine knows that Sara has a hard time with abuse cases from many years of experience working on them with her, but the reason is still unknown to Catherine.

**"Yeah I'm fin….."** Sara's cell phone starts ringing. Annoyance dances on her face while she looks up at Catherine. **"Excuse me someone feels the need to call me when they have the strict orders not to because I am busy. Sidle."** Sara listens to the person on the other end of the line. **"Are you sure you can't do it without me?... Fine I'll be there in five minutes, but it better be short…Are you sure? Okay I'll see you soon, bye. Listen Cat I'm needed back at the lab for a quick interrogation, it will take ten minutes tops and then I'll be back. I don't really want to leave you will you be okay?"**

**"Yeah it will take me about fifteen minutes to finish up here, and then I'll wait for you it's no big deal. I know you can't hinder the investigation."**

**"Yeah but I can have someone take my place."**

**"No you can't you're the boss now."**Sara smiles at Catherine's comment.

**"Okay I've got to go, twenty minutes at the most I'll be gone don't hesitate to call if you need anything."**

**"Okay Sara, go I'll be fine I promise."**

**"Okay."** Sara briskly walks out the door.

Catherine wanders around the bedroom trying to look at the scene from every angle, and put herself in the killer's position. This is a small trick that she learned from Keppler before he died, and it tends to work very well. Looking through the rest of the house went much faster than Catherine had expected, and she was thrilled to have some extra time to go stand in bright whiteness that lay outside the door. Catherine is still surprised by how cold it is, and zips up her jacket bringing her hands into the sleeves. She already knows when her hands become cold she has a harder time working them. It is really just another constant reminder to Catherine of her age slowly creeping up on her. Catherine closes her eyes, and enjoys the feeling of snow melting as it hits her face.

A hand slams over Catherine's mouth muffling her scream, and an arm shoots around her waist knocking the air out of her, as her assailant picks her up. She struggles to free herself from the strangers grasp. She feels a hand pull her gun out of its holster around her waist, and hears a small padded thud as it hits the ground. All of her senses are screaming at her to get away. She slips out of what is obviously a man's grip, and starts to run, then stumbles from the weight of the snow around her feet. The man grabs her and pulls her up, Catherine is exhausted, but continues to struggle with her assailant. A fist hits her eye then an elbow hits her forehead, and her skin splits, blood gushes out down into her eyes blurring Catherine's vision too much for her to see. Her other eye is throbbing, but she ignores it as she again tries to release herself from the man's hold on her. When her actions fail to work she manages to get her cell phone out, but it is knocked out of her hand, as she is being dragged through bushes. They claw at her clothes, and face leaving their own small marks on the woman. What feels like hours is truly minutes; there is no one around to save Catherine, and an even deeper fear rises in her at the thought of never seeing her daughter again. This thought gives her new momentum, and she scratches, throws punches blindly toward the person dragging her. Suddenly Catherine feels a blinding pain, and all her muscles give up, as she surrenders to the darkness closing in on her.—

Sara's nerves kick in when there is no sight of Catherine outside the cabin. As she is walking up to the door she stops, and tries to catch her breath at the sight of blood in the snow. It has to be recent if it is still not covered by fresh snow. There are footprints, knee prints, and drag marks leading into the woods. **"Catherine!" **Sara tries her cell, and hears it ringing under a small layer of snow. **"Shit!"** Sara needs to preserve the evidence and call in back up, but she really just wants to cry, and run blindly looking for the blonde. It is her fault Catherine was left in danger, and is now gone. If Sara had been here none of this would have happened, but she can't give up hope; when she was trapped in that dessert Catherine was out with the rest of the team frantically searching for her, and that is what Sara is going to do for her. Running back to the Tahoe she pulls out two large plastic tarps, and tries to do her best in covering, and preserving the evidence. **"Jeremy this is Sara we have a problem the CSI that came to conference on the cases I asked you about has been abducted...Yeah I know thats not good...Listen to me, and stop freaking out! I need back up here to start gathering evidence immediately I want every cop, and detective out on the streets looking for any sign of Catherine. They will need a picture so go into my desk the top draw on the right, and in the small ebony box there is a picture of me and her. Tell them to be careful with it I want it back. Hey I'm not done focus!!! Her last name is Willows I want her mother, and daughter flown in from Vegas immediately. Have them brought to my house; I want constant protection on them, I'm not taking any chances, and keep the media out of this. Did you hear me. If we do this right we might be able to find Catherine before any real harm is done to her. This guy can't have gotten very far."** Sara hangs up, and runs back to get her field kit out of the Tahoe. Most of the footprints left in the snow have already been ruined, but there are a few that might still be usable. Sara stirs the mold for casting as quickly as she can without ruining the mixture. She takes the tarp off the impressions, and pours the mold into them; then covers them again hoping to protect the casting while it dries. She then scoops up the snow that holds what Sara hopes is the attackers blood instead of Catherine's, and bags it. She follows the drag marks into the bush trying to get a feel of Catherine's struggles. Sara knows that if the blonde is in danger she will not go willingly. Sara finds tire marks at the edge of the woods, and she pulls out another package of the casting mold, and starts to stir while she observes the abrupt stop in Catherine's struggles, and then her drag marks disappear all together. This isn't a good sign, and Sara's heart starts beating faster then it already is. Sara's photographing the tracks with the mold in them when she hears her reinforcements coming. She walks over to meet them impatience displayed clearly on her face. **"Beth I want you to fingerprint the door I know it is a long shot, but we are not certain where the struggle started. My prints will be on the handle, as will Catherine's, but hopefully you can find something more."**

**"Okay."**

**"Jeremy I want you to get all of the castings over to the lab. They are under the tarp, and over next to the woods, oh also take this blood sample I'm praying to God Catherine managed to leave a piece of her attacker behind, but I doubt it looking at the struggle patterns in the snow. If you look over there you can see where someone was down on there hands and knees. The hands are to small to be a mans, but yeah the castings for those are in my Tahoe grab those too**...**"**Sara seems to be struggling to produce the energy to talk, and is notably getting more frustrated with the second,** "and take my camera it has all of the pictures on it..."**Sara sighs, and has to stop to pull herself back together, and it is an obvious struggle seen by everyone around her. Sara walks off, and gets back in the Tahoe slamming the door, and she rests her head down on the wheel. Everyone outside can hear the music in the car blaring, and they know to disturb Sara as little as possible at this point. Sara starts to cry, as she sits alone in the vehicle. She is trying to disguise her shaking, and has turned the music up so that nobody can hear her constant pleas for Catherine. She hears Jeremy getting the castings out of the back of the Tahoe, and ceases her noise for a second to try not to let on more than she already has. After the castings are out she drives away without any last words. She has directed them to do all they can really do in weather like this. She knows she has only been here of a couple of days, but she trusts the team enough to know that they will do their best.**"Oh God Catherine this is all my fault. Hold on as long as you can; you're a fighter I know you can do it. I'll find you I promise,"** Sara whispers to the empty car as she goes to help the search on the streets.

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TBC... 


	4. Chapter 4

Catherine's breathing is labored when she wakes back up. The air is thick with grime, and she is on the edge of a panic attack as she realizes she is blindfolded. She is having a hard time swallowing, and it feels like her tongue is too big for her mouth. She can feel a mattress beneath her; she can feel something crusty against her bare back horror fills Catherine when she manges to wrap her head around the high possibility that it is dry blood. Catherine stays still waiting to see if she feels any throbbing that is not on her face, and she determines the blood is not hers . Her nipples are hard, the cold air is bitting at her flesh; handcuffs dig into her wrists, and ankles. She can hear feat shuffling next to her, and is hoping the stranger didn't notice her sudden movements. She knows that he has though when she feels a rough calloused hand run up her stomach, and a loud sigh is let out beside her. **"You are gorgeous mmm yes you are, and you're a fighter. It always make things so much more exciting for me you know? It is a shame about your face though I hate to ruin such beauty, but you gave me no choice." **The voice is deep, and harsh one that holds no care for others.

**"Where am I?"** Catherine struggles to form the words around her tongue.

**"Ah love you don't have to worry about being found we are well hidden not even you're cute brunette friend will find us. I was very careful. You won't want to leave once we start though I will give you the best sex of your life you will be begging for more. You like her don't you? You want to fuck her the way I get to fuck you don't you? Maybe if you're good I will bring her to you, and I can watch you with her."**

**"Leave her out of this."**

**"Don't worry right now I will if you are good; until you are ready to admit your need for her. Your body is even better than I picture it to be. You know I've been watching you for a while, and followed you from Vegas, but you we're too wrapped up in yourself to notice me. Oh how it turned me on finding you at one of my old crime scenes, and then when the other woman left I knew it was my chance to get you for myself, and I was ever so ready. Mmmmmm yes I was I didn't think I could last much longer. I have dreamed about having you for weeks. You are the only one I want you are so perfect, and if you are good I will keep you longer than the others give you more pleasures than I allowed the others."** Catherine winces as she feels the cold metal running up her stomach splitting the skin. A tongue wraps itself around one of her nipples sucking hard, and then moves to the other. Then the man moves himself so that his body is over hers; as he bites her neck he places the knife sideways on her face reminding her it is there. He is getting more violent in his bitting, and he then traps Catherine's lips in his own. He tastes bitter, and smells of BO, and alcohol. The sent floods Catherine's senses causing her to gag, and the knife now moved to her neck slices it slightly reminding her to enjoy the torture. She can feel him hard against her leg, and he brings penis up and rubs it on her cheek being careful to keep it away from her mouth.** "Do you like that?"** Catherine refuses to reply as she fights the urge to vomit. **"I said do you like that bitch!!"** When he again receives no reply he slaps Catherine across the face repeatedly. He wastes not time putting himself into her. Catherine feels herself ripping with the unwanted pressure, and blood starts to flow freely between them. Catherine fights the tears that threaten to fall; they would only cause her more pain, and give her less of a chance to see Lindsay again. She refuses to give the man the pleasure of seeing her cry. He starts to violently thrust, and Catherine rips even more. **"Moan you fucking bitch you know you're enjoying this." **Catherine only slightly whimpers, and the man starts to run the blade down different parts of her body. When that doesn't work he hits her again across the face causing blood to trickle form her mouth. She feels the man stiffen over her and then his fluids enter her fighting against the flow of blood. He gets off of her, and punches her in the stomach saying, **"You stubborn bitch I have my work cut out for me don't I?" **Catherine is struggling for air, and between the punch in the stomach and her swollen tongue Catherine knows she is not getting enough. A fog starts to wrap itself around Catherine's thoughts.--

Sara is scanning a dark alleyway looking for signs of Catherine. She doesn't know how much help she really is with the worry, and anger clouding her judgment. She just received the track results back from the lab the car they are looking for is a hybrid with no winter tires. So far Sara has seen nothing that would give a hint to where Catherine is being hidden, and it is driving her slowly insane as images of the other tortured blondes float in and out of her head. She is determined to save Catherine before that, but luck does not seem to be on her side. Tears are streaming down Sara's face again, but she does not try to stop them, because even if anyone was here with her they would not be able to see them in the darkness. The cold causes stinging where her have tears have crossed. **"Where are you Cat?"** Sara says to herself finally allowing the hopelessness to overcome her.--

Catherine comes around again, and she doesn't know how long it's been; her blood is now dry along with that, that had crusted long before. A foam cup is pressed to her lips and she opens her mouth relieved by the dirt and water that enters it. She can feel the dirt crunch in her mouth as she eagerly devours the stale bread then shoved in her mouth. **"Thank you," **Catherine whispers as she lays her head back down on the mattress.

**"You know I think you should be more appreciative, and do as I say I mean I try to make your arrangement nice, and comfy, and you completely disobey me forcing me to hurt you more. Why won't you just listen? You know next time I won't bring you food and water I was contemplating not this time, but I figured if I want you alive I should since I did have to tazer you, but really you could make this so much easier on yourself love...you really could. Now you need to behave as I untie you we have some work to do."** Before Catherine has any time to do anything her hands are yet again chained so that she is now halfway in the air laying horizontally across the bed. The handcuffs are then taken off her ankles, and the raw flesh beneath screams in relief. She is now standing on a cement floor, and her ankles are now weighed down by heavy chains; she has no doubt are connected to the floor. If she had more energy Catherine feels she would have a few inches of walking space. Her arms are chained above her head. She has just started wondering what the man has in store for her when she hears a whip crack, and then feels it rip apart the skin it hits on her naked torso. Catherine tries her hardest to keep her screams repressed so that her torture doesn't feel any pleasure. The harder she tries to muffle her screams the harder the whippings come. She can feel blood streaming down from all different places on her body. The whip hits on the back side of her legs where her knees bend, and Catherine crumples, now hanging by her wrists; the pain is too much and she is knocked unconscious. Something cold hits her face, and Catherine's eyes open behind the blindfold. Realizing it is water she tries to lick it from her face. She can hear the man laughing at her pitiful actions. Catherine is now strapped to a chair it is hard, and wooden. **"Now I knew you would be a challenge and I really like that, so much that you have made me hard, and I am again going to give you pleasure, and this time you will moan do you understand that?" **Catherine weakly nods, but has no intentions of satisfying this monster. She again feels herself rip as he shoves himself into her. Blood flows out making Catherine dizzy; she can feel the man's stomach near her as he thrusts Catherine takes her chances, and bites the man's skin. This pisses him off, but at the same time turns him on. He hits her hard across the face, and causes blood to come out again He slices Catherine's upper arms when she refuses to moan, and then lightly breaks the skin on Catherine's neck. He finishes with her, and unties her. She does not have the energy to fight back, and he places her on the bed cuffing her for when her energy returns. **"Now you see you've pissed me off again by not moaning when it is clear to me you are enjoying every minute of our fucking, but I'm going to leave you here to think about that for a while. I haven't gotten any sleep in two days, and I am positive that I will now have very good dreams. Don't think I won't be back though."** Catherine hears a heavy door slam, and bolt as she is left alone to wander in and out of a fitful sleep.

* * *

TBC... 


	5. Chapter 5

Sara's nerves have been going haywire for the past two days. There is still absolutely no sign of Catherine. She has been by her house to talk to Lily, and check up on Linzz. She made sure that they had everything they needed. Sara broke down in tears, and felt horrible as Lily held her in her arms. Sara should be comforting Catherine's mom not the other way around. She almost lost it again as she looked at the pain in the teenagers poor eyes. She has already lost her father, and Sara is positive she rarely ever leaves her mother's side; look what happened when she did. Sara left feeling worse than when she had entered her house.

She is on the streets again examining places he has already searched fearing sh has overlooked something. She sees a car in an empty parking lot; it is a hybrid, and without thinking goes to check it out alone.--

Catherine is woken by ice cold water splashing all over her body. Even after it is obvious she is awake the water keeps coming so frequently that she does not have time to breathe. She starts to choke, and when she is certain she is going to drown the water stops. She is chained back to the ceiling, and the whipping starts again. It opens old wounds, and blood starts to stream out of Catherine. Catherine still manages to hold her screams with the little energy that she has. Her capture now seems to be furious that her can not break her, and whips even her harder. After Catherine collapses, and is hanging by her wrist she is quickly woken up with a few slaps to the face. New marks are then formed on her body from the knife, and whip lashes are made deeper by the cold steel. She then feels needles being inserted into various parts of her body. In her arms, and legs, and under her nails. Catherine barely stops her screams, and finally gives in screaming in agony. This satisfies the man. He unchains Catherine, and kicks her to keep her conscious as her drags her across the cement floor. It pulls at her skin tearing some of the few place that are left. Catherine is now tied to the chair; the man kicks her to hear her scream, and then punches her in the eye that is still bruised from Catherine's original struggle. The pain of the blow is slightly lessened by the blindfold that remains over her eyes.** "Know I know that this time bitch you will moan."** Once again Catherine feels the rip of the man forcing himself inside of her, and the familiar flowing of blood, yet she refuses to moan. The knife is presses harder against her arms, and a few times is is run across her cheek The man finishes, and his fluids enter her body. Catherine sinks her energy is drained, and he pushes her a few times, and runs the knife across the top of her chest. **"I'm not done we are doing this again until you moan."** He starts again to thrust, and Catherine sums up everything she has to try and pulls away, but it does not last long, and the man beats her now as he thrust hitting every inch of her body that he can reach. Again her releases fluid into Catherine, but she has managed to turn him on again, and he forces himself into her once again. He runs the knife all over her body, and forces his tongue into her mouth. When he has finished Catherine gives in, and starts to sob. He slaps her across the face. Unchaining her he pushes her across the room. Her head slams on the wall, and she slides down to the hard floor unable to stop the tears. She feels chains wrapped around her ankles and wrists, and she is stuck in the corner. The door slams, and is bolted. Catherine loses consciousness as her head starts to throb even harder.

Catherine wakes up as she is kicked in the side. She feels her rib crack, and lets out a quiet moan. She is relieved to find a styrofoam cup pressed against her lips, and she drinks the dirty water greedily, and almost chokes scarfing down the bread pushed into her mouth. Catherine is chained in her usual spot for whipping, but instead feels the monster force himself inside her. He places his hands around her waist, and thrusts taking in the shape of her body, and completely ignoring the bruises and gashes that cover her. He comes quickly this time, and Catherine listens as he wanders across the room. He comes back, and she feels a blinding pain as something heavy slams against her side. He then hits her over, and over again, as Catherine scrams until she has no voice.She is then dragged back to the corner and chain **"I'll be back precious, and then we will have some real fun." **Catherine can't keeps herself from passing out.

Catherine is slapped a couple times to bring her around, and then the blindfold is removed form her eyes, and she stares into the soul of the monster. The man is dirty, and he hasn't shaven in what looks like a couple of weeks. He is wearing a white undershirt stained, at the pits despite the cold temperature, and jeans. Catherine looks around, and finds herself in a side room of what is probably an abandon warehouse. She gets her first glimpse of what lay in front of her, and almost throws up at the thought of the pain. A car battery rests in front of her and the wires attached to it are tied to her ankles. She knows the voltage is not enough to kill her but it will hurt like hell, and leave marks where the metal touches her skin. Catherine starts to struggle against the chains, but her energy is quickly drained. Catherine screams as the electricity runs through her once then twice, and a third time before she is knocked out. When she wakes up she is hanging by her wrists from the ceiling, and she puts her feet out to take the strain off of them. The room smells of burning flesh, and there are rings around her ankles. A whip lashes her back over, and over until she can't take it anymore, and starts crying. She is dragged across the floor, and she watches the man pour water into a cup at her feet. He takes her hand, and places the cup in it, and helps her bring it up to her lips. **"You are such a pretty thing love, and I'm sure we will have more fun now that you can see me. And now we can do this the right way."** The man gently lifts Catherine, and places her on the bed as he kisses her. He licks down her neck. Catherine can tell he wants to be rougher, but is taking into consideration how weak she is. He lightly gives into his own needs as he sucks on her nipples, and kisses down lower. He shows her how hard he is, and asks her if she likes it. Catherine just looks at him with sad, pleading eyes. He puts himself inside her again, and lightly thrusts, but Catherine still rips, and she winces. She refuses to moan, and is hit a few times for it, but she does not have the energy to fight back. When the man finishes he places her back in the corner, and chains her to the ground. **"We are going to try something new tomorrow love."** He whispers in Catherine's ear, and then leaves the room. Catherine stares at the wall until she falls asleep.

Catherine is kicked awake, and a voice registers in her head, but she doesn't react because her head is still filled with fog. Finally she can here what the man is saying, and she looks up at him. **"I have a surprise for you today love. I think you are really going to like it. Then we will have some fun."** The man leaves now that Catherine is awake leaving the door open. He returns carrying a naked woman over his shoulder, placing her on the bed he removes the blindfold, and he splashes her with water. Sara wakes up, and her eyes wander around the room, and stop on a tortured woman's across the room who is chained to the floor. She then catches a glimpse of hopelessness in Catherine's eyes.

* * *

TBC... sorry its short, but I felt it was the best place to leave it off trying to go with the flow of the strory again.


	6. Chapter 6

Sara is paralyzed in horror at the sight of brutality inflicted upon Catherine. Her voice is hoarse, and quiet as it fills the room,** "Cat?"** The older woman seems to be having a hard time placing Sara's face, but at the sound of her voice recognition flickers in Catherine's eyes. Catherine sums up her energy, and puts her knees up trying to cover her body. She already feels violated enough she doesn't want Sara staring at her naked on the floor; this is defiantly not how she wanted to first see Sara naked. Not wanting to make the brunette uncomfortable she looks away. She can feel the tears rising in her eyes, but she holds them back not wanting to scare Sara anymore than she already is. Cathrine links her fingers around her legs, and rests her head on her knees. Catherine watches as the man slaps Sara for speaking.

**"Now my love we can have some fun can't we? You're little friend her can enjoy watching our pleasure. Then I will allow you to fuck her."** His next comments are directed toward Sara. **"Mmmmmm yes I've seen her longing for you pretty one, and she will finally give you the pleasure she has been wanting to for quite some time...yes she will..., and I will watch...mmmmm yes that will be nice. Now watch carefully at how much she enjoys this."** He walks over to Catherine, and takes her out of the chains. Then her he hangs her by the wrist from the ceiling allowing Catherine's feet to touch the ground. He pulls out a whip, and Sara watches in horror how Catherine screams, she watches the blood stream down Catherine's back, and Sara hears herself screaming Catherine's name. Sara watches Catherine collapse, and the man kick her to wake her back up. He then unchains Catherine, and places her on the bed next to Sara. Sara tries to move her body to touch Catherine's and reassure her, but her chains do not allow her enough room to move. Sara watches as the man gets on top of Catherine, and puts himself inside of her, and Sara watches the pain flash across Catherine's face. The older woman looks up into Sara's eyes questioning, as she slips her hand under Sara. Sara nods letting her know her it is perfectly alright. Catherine keeps her eyes locked on Sara's. Sara views with helplessness as Catherine's skin is being sliced for not moaning. The man notes the two women's connection, and getting off Catherine goes, and finds a baseball bat. He hits Catherine in the stomach with it, and then repeatedly on her sides. Catherine curls into the fetal position coughing and struggling for breath.**"I've had enough for today,"** the man announces, and he picks Catherine up, and places her back in the corner, and chaining her there. The door slams, and is bolted before silence overcomes them.

Sara opens her eyes when she hears Catherine sobbing in the corner. **"Catherine?" **Her eyes begin to adjust to the darkness, and she observes Catherine shaking, as she curls into herself, as close to the corner as possible. The man must have been listening outside, because he strolls in to both of the woman's horror. Sara can't believe he is ready to go again, but she has not been with Catherine the past few days, and by the looks of her that's what has been happening. The man is holding a piece of rope in his hand. He walks over to Catherine unchaining her, and carefully picks her up. He places the sobbing woman on the bed next to Sara wrapping the rope around one of her ankles leaving slack for Catherine to move. He knows she doesn't have the energy to try and escape, but the feisty brunette is a different story. He comes around the bed, and Sara braces herself eyes shut waiting for the pain instead she feels one of her wrists being released at the same time the man whispers in her ear, **"Comfort her."** He then leaves the two women to help each other in the dark. The care the man has shown for Catherine surprises Sara for the fact that he takes to torturing her whenever he feels like it. Sara turns her head to catch a glimpse of Catherine; the whole bed is shaking from the blonde's tears. Sara is tempted to breakdown herself, but she has to be strong for Catherine who needs her right now more than ever. Sara is afraid of touching her, and having the woman shrink away into a corner.

**"Catherine?" **The blonde turns toward Sara to acknowledge the sound of her voice

Her voice is hoarse, and barely there as she whispers, **"Sara, I know it's not a good thing you're here, but I'm glad you are in a way..."** Sara can tell Catherine is having trouble breathing, and talking. A silence follows her words, and Sara waits to see if there are more. **"I'm so scared. All I do is wait for him to wake me up, and wonder if I will live to see another day. I don't ever know what he will do to me next there are only some guarantees, I'm so scared..."**

**"I know you are Cat, I know you are...Come here hun. "** Catherine weakly lifts herself, but she can't make it over to Sara. The crusted blood beneath them cracks as the blonde falls back onto the mattress. Sara carefully slides her arm underneath Catherine, and pulls the blonde toward her. Sara hears her wince, **"Sorry,"** she whispers bringing the blonde right next to her then removing her arm from beneath the light woman. She takes Catherine's hand and laces Catherine's slender fingers with her own; before attempting to turn and face her. Sara is able to turn her upper body half way, and slightly distorts her face in pain as the handcuff wares at her wrist, and causes strain on her arm. Sara looks at the awkwardness hiding in the delicate lines on Catherine's face, and knows the blonde is trying very hard to keep her eyes off of Sara's body. Catherine untangles her fingers from Sara's and strokes Sara's jaw line with her thumb. Sara examines all of the cuts and bruises on Catherine's fragile arm as Catherine rubs her face.

Catherine can see Sara's position is hurting her, and Catherine can't bare to see the pain on her face. Sara glances at Catherine realizing how long she has been letting her hate for the man outside boil from the sight of Catherine's arm. Catherine keeps her eyes locked on Sara as she lightly pushes the woman back onto the bed, and rests her head on Sara's shoulder near her neck, and protectively drapes her arm over the brunette's toned stomach.

Relief tugs at Sara when she is allowed to comfort Catherine. She gently wraps her arm around the blonde holding her close. She can feel Catherine's warm tears on running down her shoulder, as the blonde starts to cry again. Sara lifts her head, and brushes her lips on Catherine's forehead. **"It's going to be alright Cat, we will find a way out of here,"** Sara has lowered her voice in fear of being heard. Sara feels Catherine stroking her side in reply, the blonde's voice gone for now. Sara mimics the gesture by stroking an untouched part of Catherine's arm. The brunette lays enjoying Catherine's warmth in the cold room. The blonde's breathing is starting to slow as she begins to drift into sleep. Sara doesn't want to sleep, and be trapped in a place where she cannot pull herself out in time to protect Catherine. Sara finds it harder than she thought to stay awake as weight presses down on her lids; she eventually gives in.

Sara wakes up, and starts to panic when she realizes Cathrine is no longer in her arms. She glances frantically around her eyes coming to rest on the other side of the bed where the man has a needle, and is injecting something into Catherine's arm. The way he is holding her arm suggests that she is still sleeping. **"What are you doing to her?"** Sara whispers so that she does not wake the blonde and instill her with instant fear.

**"Ah don't worry about her dear it won't hurt her, it should give her more energy for today. You know I've been watching her for a while, and I've got to say you are a lucky girl love...yes you are she loves you very much." **Sara is lost as to what the man is talking about, and comes to the conclusion that he must be hallucinating. She notes that her arm is handcuffed back to the bed.

**"Are you positive that won't hurt her?"**

**"Yep tested it on myself. I've got to say works pretty well." **Sara thinks about the fact that she seems to be able to have normal conversations with such monsters. This is not the first time, she has had a rather normal conversation with Natalie before the woman had trapped Sara under a car, and left her in the dessert to die.

**"Okay."** Sara glares at the man as he splashes Catherine with what Sara has no doubt is ice cold water to wake her up. Catherine's eyes shoot open, and she gazes around fearfully before returning her eyes to Sara's. They keep their eyes locked as Catherine is carried over to the chair, and chained to it.

Catherine sees her own fear reflected in Sara's dark orbs as the brunette observes with concern. Catherine looks down to find the car battery placed in front of her. She knows Sara has foreseen what is coming because she is fighting with all her might to release herself from the bed. Catherine braces herself, and gives into the blinding pain that fills her. She can feel the electricity running through her, but the world around her has dissolved. Again she feels the current flowing through her body, but is brought back to reality as someone screams her name. She feels her flesh starting to rip as something cold digs into her, but her brain is too clouded to comprehend. Finally the world burst through, and Catherine is brought back to real time.

Sara is still fighting frantically as Catherine's face flashes with pain when the man starts to bight her neck. Sara's energy fails her though, and she is forced to stop, out of breath.

Catherine feels the man's warm tongue wrap around her hard nipples. The temperature in the room has yet again dropped. She feels his tongue this time insert itself inside her, and the tearing of her skin as she still refuses to moan. Catherine brings her eyes back to Sara. They are full of care as she tries to comfort the brunette. The young woman had put aside her horror to comfort Catherine even though Catherine is sure she is just as scared. Catherine screams as the scab rips off and the man is inside her again. She is bleeding harder than usual, but it is ignored by the man. Catherine can tell Sara has again consumed herself in her efforts to break her restraints. The sound of metal scrapping metal fills her ears as Catherine does all she can wait for the man to stop. When he is finished she finds the styrofoam cup at her lips again. She drinks as fast as she can ignoring the dirt; trying to get as much as she can before the cup is taken away. The man then refills the cup, and brings it to Sara who is more suspicious as she drinks the water. **"Mmmmmm yes my loves now for my favorite part."**

As the air comes out of Catherine she feels as if she has been hit in the stomach. The gun is cold against her temple; she hears Sara screaming her name. _This is it I've finally reached the end of my life._ The world around Catherine has fallen away into the darkness it is only her and the gun until a voice breaks through. **"I want you to fuck her. The way I fuck you give her pleasure, and punish her if she doesn't moan. I know you want to. Remember though if you disobey me and try anything I can end both of your lives from where I am sitting."**

Sara is relieved as Catherine approaches her; blood is still flowing freely from between the blonde's legs, and Sara fears if it doesn't stop soon Catherine will pass out from too much blood loss at once. Catherine straddles Sara, and she can feels the blonde's blood seeping onto her waist. Catherine looks at her with a sad expression, but something is threatening to take over her blue pools, and what Sara sees lurking behind the blue scares her. Catherine rest her forehead on Sara's and looks into her eyes. Her tears are leaving a trails through the dirt on her face. Sara can feel her own warm tears mixing with Catherine's on her own cheeks. Quickly Catherine brushes her lips against Sara's, and whispers,** "I'm sorry."** Catherine then begins to kiss Sara's neck, and nibble on it, but the nibbling turns into biting, and Sara gasps in pain. When Catherine looks up at her again Sara can see she is no longer there, her eyes are haunted; taken over by a monster. Catherine wraps her tongue around Sara's nipples, and becomes gentle again. As she kisses down Sara's stomach she starts to become rough, and Sara knows Catherine is fighting to come back. Sara screams as Catherine bites her so hard blood comes rushing out. The blonde stiffens, and looks up at her with caring eyes before collapsing on top of her. The man freaks out, **"What the hell is wrong with her? What happened."**

**"I...I don't know please if you care for her at all you will call an ambulance. There is a cell phone in my jacket pocket." **Sara puts on her best pleading look, but is partly distracted by Catherine rubbing her side discreetly so the man won't notice.

The man runs out of the room, and Catherine lifts herself shakily, she had been hoping the man would do just as he did. In the confusion he dropped the gun. Catherine stumbles as she tries to hurry, she can hear the man screaming directions into the phone. As she bends over to pick up the gun she again has the familiar blade against her neck, but she already has the gun in her hands. She is dizzy, and she hasn't stopped bleeding from between her legs. _If I can do anything before I die I am going to save Sara._ Catherine places her hand between her neck and the blade pulling it away. She can feel it ripping through her hand quickly she turns putting the gun up to the man's stomach, and fires. He collapses at her feet, and she follows. All of her energy is gone, but she tries to crawl to Sara, and makes it to the bed before surrendering to for what she knows is the last time to the darkness.--

Sara can hear the sirens approaching, and a door slamming open. **"HELP PLEASE WE"RE IN HERE!! Cat stay with me we are free you did it stay with me please."** The police barge in first to clear the room, and at the sight of the woman lying on the floor turn to help the EMTs bring in equipment. Sara tells them to keep everyone out she does not want her team processing the scene until both her, and Catherine are covered. The EMTs are having problems stabilizing Catherine after getting her on the stretcher, and rush her out trying to work at the same time. Two of them stay behind,and release Sara. **"NO!"** Sara yells at the young EMT as he tries to coax her onto a stretcher. She then grabs a blanket coving herself, and runs down the hallway after Catherine, calling her name.

* * *

TBC... 


	7. Chapter 7

Sara reaches the ambulance as they are about to shut the doors. She uses her body to stop the door leaping into the back of the vehicle. She has just revealed herself to everyone in front of her, but does not care. **"I'm staying with Catherine."**

**"Alright just stay out of the way."** Sara isn't paying attention; she gets a glimpse of Catherine, and is in shock at the woman's appearance which is even worse in the light. Catherine has a black eye, and almost every inch is covered in black and blue, layered by red lined, and dark crusted blood. Where Catherine's tears had run a few patches of ghost white skin are revealed. Her eyes are sunken in, and her skin seems stretched across her once gorgeous features. No skin on her frail arms was left untouched, and it is obvious that she has lost too much weight. Sara rushes to her side taking the womans hand which is alarmingly cold. The EMTs are still struggling to stabilize her, and Sara notes blood still flowing from between her legs staining the white blanket; it is one of the only signs Sara can find that the woman is still alive. She looks away as an EMT lifts the blanket to sew the wound shut that is causing so much blood loss. Sara whispers in Cathrine's ear. **"Cat hun stay with me please. You did it we are free; you have to stay with me so you can see Linzz. We are on our way to the hospital."** The world around Sara is blurred as she watches people frantically trying to stabilize Catherine, while she continues to whisper in the blonde's ear. Catherine is still fighting, and Sara tries to help her by stroking her jaw line repeating the caring, and familiar gesture Catherine had showed her what now seems to be years ago. Sara refuses to let go of Catherine's hand as they lower her from the ambulance, and no one attempts to stop her until they reach the second set of doors leading out of the waiting room. Sara feels a hand rest on her shoulder, and she whips around to face a kind plump looking nurse. Her name tag informs Sara her name is Meg.

**"You can't go in there sweetie."**

**"No I have to go with Catherine, you don't understand; I need to be with her."**

**"Hun you won't be any help to your friend like this. You are covered in blood, and have more than one bump on your head yourself. Come with me, and we will get you cleaned up and dressed."**

**"No I'm fine it's not my blood. I need to be with Catherine now! She needs me you don't understand."**

**"I understand you can't go back there you would be risking your friends life."**

**"Catherine!"** Sara has had enough she turns and starts toward the door. The woman blocks Sara, and Sara fights in the womans arms. **"CATHERINE!"** Sara is sobbing, and refuses to cease fighting. She pulls herself out of the womans arms, and realizes she is rather dizzy, but it is to late as her eyes roll back in her head, and she falls to the floor the blanket sliding of her naked body in the process.--

Sara wakes up in a white room that is too bright for her eyes. She blinks a few time while they adjust before scanning the room. There is a colorful bouquet on the stand next to her bed, and the TV has been left on. The nurse she had been hassling in the waiting room strolls in consumed in her own work. **"Where is Catherine?"**

**"Ahh you're up. How are you feeling sweetie? You gave us quite a scare in the lobby."**

**"Not now Meg tell me where Catherine is. I need to see her."**

**"She is in the ICU she is making progress now that she survived the first twenty- four hours. She is a strong woman. yes that one sure is."**

**"Twenty- four hours! How long have I been out? Why didn't you wake me up?" **Meg can sense the brunette's growing frustration. She is an impatient young woman, but there is no doubt she is scared beyond belief for her friends life. If Meg has heard the story correctly the two women had been abducted the blonde first, and then the brunette. The brunette had been handcuffed to a bed, and forced to watch her friend being tortured. If it had not been for the swiftness of the two woman they would either still be trapped, or dead.

**"Between the starvation, dehydration, and drugs it wouldn't have been very smart to wake you up. It is better you slept off the drugs."**

**"I don't do drugs, what the hell. Have Catherine's mother, and daughter been notified, and told where she is. They are at my house someone needs to get them."**

**"Relax it has already been taken care of, and they have already been permitted to visit both of you."**

**"I'm going to see Catherine." **Sara sits up in the bed, and carefully gets to her feet.

**"Ms. Sidle you are hooked to an IV."**

**"I'll taking it with me. Now Meg I hate to be mean to you, but I'm in a mean mood. You can either stand there, or you can help me out, by finding me some pants so my ass isn't hanging out as I walk down the hall."**

**"I'll be right back/" **Meg returns with some scrub bottoms which Sara hastily throws on, and makes her way out into the hall dragging the IV behind her.

Meg is following Sara with a wheel chair. **"Ms. Sidle you shouldn't be walking, if you could please get in the chair I will take you to see Ms. Willows; either way you will reach her."**Sara turns her head , and gives the nurse an annoyed look before turning back, and smiles as she recognizes the teenage blonde, and older woman coming down the hall her way.

**"Sara!" **Sara had always gotten along with the young Willows, and she is caught in a hug. Lindsay doesn't only look look remarkably like her mother Sara notes, but she is just as kind.

**"Hey Linzz how are you sweetie?"**

**"I'm okay why are you up? You should be resting."**

**"I'm going to see your mom. You've already seen her right? How is she?"**

Lily is the one to answer. **"The doctor saw she is improving." **Sara had been hugging Linzz, but when her grandma came she had moved away, and the older woman has taken her place.

**"Ms. Sidle could you please get in the wheel chair."**

**"Sara sweetheart you should get in the chair." **

Sara whips around at the end of her patience with the nurse. **"I do not need the fucking wheel chair! I am perfectly capable of walking so BACK OFF!" **Sara turns, and continues to walk down the hall. Lindsay's eyes are wide in shock, and amusement. People are peeking out of doors to get a better look at the scene in the hall. Meg continues to follow Sara with the chair which pisses the brunette off more. She allows Lily, and Linzz to enter the elevator before her, and then Sara enters pressing the button to make the doors close, and waves at the nurse who didn't make it as the doors shut. Lindsay is doubled over laughing, and starts to laugh even harder, as Sara turns, and winks at her. Sara starts to quickly walk out of the elevator, and is stopped due to the fact she is connected to an IV. **"God dammit!,"** Sara loudly says as she turns to grab the metal pole. Lily helps Sara suit up around the IV, and leaves the brunette to be alone with her daughter.

Catherine weakly opens her eyes, and turns her head to see who has entered the room. Her eyes fall on a horror stricken Sara. Sara didn't realize how many machines Catherine would be hooked to. **"Hey Cat."**

**"Hey sweetie," **Catherine whispers. She lifts her frail arm, in Sara's direction, and the brunette rushes over to take her hand stopping to glare at the IV behind her; causing Cathrine to laugh. Sara takes Cathrine's hand which is a few degrees warmer than the last time she held it.

**"I heard you made quite a scene in the waiting room." **Catherine smiles as she observes the color creeping into Sara's cheeks.

**"Maybe I made a slight scene."** Sara strokes Catherine's cheek with her thumb. Catherine smiles at her, and attempts to raise her arm to touch Sara's face. Sara sees what the blonde wants, and raises her slender hand and places it on her own face, and then brushes her lips against Catherine's fingers. Catherine has tears in her eyes, as Sara places her arm back on the bed, and intertwines their fingers again. **"What's wrong hun?" **Catherine shakes her head, and closes her eyes, as exhaustion washes over her.--

Sara watches Catherine's sleeping form until the nurse comes in informing Sara that her time is up. Sara hassles the young woman until she promises Sara can come back in after she checks Catherine's wounds. Sara is pacing back, and forth outside the door when she hears Catherine scream in pain, and barges back into the room. **"What the hell are you doing to her?"**

**"I was just checking her banda..."**

**"Checking her bandages?"** Sara is towering over the small woman. **"Can you not hear her screaming in pain? You are obviously doing something wrong! I want you out of here now, send somebody in who knows what they are doing!"** The young woman leaves the room in a hurry, and Sara turns to Catherine who is curled up around the machines in pain. Sara grabs her IV, and rushes to Catherine's side. **"What did she do to you? Are you alright?"**

**"Yeah I'm fine she just poked a little to hard that's all. Why did you leave?" **Catherine's eyes look hurt, but also worried. She can't figure out why Sara has stayed by her side. Catherine had violated her, and if it wasn't for the brunette herself Catherine would have proceeded to rape her. Catherine is afraid that Sara will remember, and be repelled leaving Catherine, and disappearing back into the world.

**"I was kicked out."**

**"Were you being mean?" **Catherine smiles in a teasing way, and Sara returns it with an adorable, innocent gap toothed smile.

**"Nah, you know I was going easy on her." **Catherine is the only person Sara has never been able to scare. Catherine chuckles at Sara's comment. Suddenly Catherine goes limp, and blood starts to trickle out of her mouth. **"Catherine? Cat can you hear me. HELP, SOMEONE WE NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!" **Sara is repeatedly slamming on the call button as people start to file in the door.

**"We need to get her into surgery immediately, she's internally bleeding." **

**"CATHERINE!!!"** Sara rips the IV out of her arm as they rush the blonde out of the room, and quickly follows. Again she is stopped at the double doors, and she slams her fist against the wall, silently sobbing to herself. **"CATHERINE!" **Lily, and Lindsay rush over to her, and pull her into a hug surrounding the brunette, and lead her over to the chairs. Sara calms down as a nurse approaches.

Motioning to Lily she says, **" I need to talk to you in private."**

**"WHAT!"** Sara blurts out, and she stands to tower over the woman, and start in on her.

**"Family only, sorry it's our policy."**

**"Please she is just as much family as I am."**

**"As long as it is alright with you."**

**"It is absolutely fine." **The nurse leads them away from Lindsay.

**"She is going to be fine we caught the bleeding before it could do any major damage."**

**"The only reason it started is because one of YOUR nurse hurt her, and started it!"** Sara is again towering over the informant.

**"Sara sweetheart calm down." **Sara takes deep breaths, and tries to calm herself.

**"Someone will have to watch over her when we let her out longer than was originally expected."**

**"She will be staying with me as long as she wants to," **Sara replies. Lily smiles at Sara's obvious need to protect, and care for her daughter.

**"Good, you should be able to visit Ms. Willows in ten minutes, but remember she needs her rest." **Sara walks over to Linzz grumbling to herself on the way. She repeats what the nurse had said, and relief floods the young blonde's face. Sara sits back in the chair, and coaxes Linzz to sit in her lap. Sara sits hugging the girl around the waist until the nurse comes over, and says they can visit Catherine, but Sara has to go first so that she can go back to her own room, and get some rest.

Sara walks in, and observes that Catherine is now hooked up to even more machines. She pulls a chair up next to the bed, and sits. She takes Catherine's hand and lifts the woman's arm so there is room for her head on the bed, and then places Catherine's fragile fingers on her cheek, and covers them with her own. Sleep weighs down on Sara's eyes now, and she catches a glimpse of Catherine's eyes flickering open, and a small smile trace over the blonde's lips directed at her, right before she doses off.

* * *

TBC... 


	8. Chapter 8

The cool air bites her cheek, and Sara's eyes shoot open. Catherine's hand has left her face. Sara sits up and glances over at the blonde. Her eyes are tired, bloodshot, and hold years of wisdom out where everyone can see. She is staring intensely at the wall, lost somewhere in her thoughts. Sara examines her face some of the bruise around her eye holds a hint of green making it looks even worse. A few places the blonde's face were left untouched, but they are small spots. The rest of her face is blanketed in black, and blue, the blood, and dirt having been washed away. What Sara can see of her arms are badly bruised, and covered in many long red lines. Catherine's left hand is wrapped in a bandage covering a deep gash caused by grabbing a knife. Sara doesn't think she could bare seeing the rest of Catherine's body at the moment what she sees already is enough to make her sick. Sara rests her hand on Catherine's leg, and feels the blonde jump. Sara quickly removes her hand; sensing eyes on her Sara glances back up at Catherine her own brown pools locking with Catherine's clear blue ones. **"Sorry I woke you."** Catherine's voice is hoarse, and quiet.

"**Nah Cat I'm sorry I fell asleep on you, I came in to visit. How long was I sleeping? You really scared me hun, how are you feeling?"**

"**I'm sorry…"**

"**It's not your fault."**

Catherine weakly smiles at her. **"I'm feeling okay sweetie, I'm in a little pain, but I should be getting some more pain meds soon, of course that means I'll be out like a light. You were only sleeping for fifteen minutes the nurse came in to tell you your time was up, and said she'd be back in fifteen more minutes to wake you up."**

"**Why aren't you sleeping you just got out of surgery?"**

"**I can't sleep every time I do I see the man's face."**

"**Oh Cat…."**

"**Why aren't you sleeping? I've been told you haven't been listening to anyone, and you won't be let out of here until you've had a certain amount of rest."**

"**I want to be in here with you Cat. I hate hospitals; they are to white and cheery, but at the same time smell of death. Plus I can't sleep either, but it's nothing new. Do you think I could get a book or something?"**

"**Maybe, what is it about hospitals Sara?"**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**What is it that scares you?"**

" **It's nothing. Hey is there anything you want me to smuggle in for you?"**

"**Clothes." **Sara chuckles, her eyes light up, a loving look on her face as she continues to lock eyes with Catherine.

"**Yeah I'd like some of those too."**

"**At least you have some pants."** Catherine's eyes are slowly closing, and Sara can tell that she is fighting off sleep.

**"I can try, but you might have to wait until you are in a normal room hun we might make some noise trying to get you dressed around the machines. Anything else?"**

"**My daughter."**

"**Now that I can do. You know Cat you should really get some sle…"** Sara doesn't have time to finish her sentence as Meg enters as if on cue.

**"Okay Ms. Sidle it is time for you to back to your room, so others can come in, and you can get some rest yourself."**

"**Fine."**

"**But first I have yet to clean your wounds. I haven't since you passed out in the lobby so I need to do that. I wouldn't be surprised if they are infected, but with the circumstances I didn't insist on cleaning them. I have to clean Ms. Willows up too so I figured I could get the two of you together."**

Sara sighs as Meg gets out the rubbing alcohol, and cloth. She smiles to herself at Catherine curiously looks at her, and she absent-mindedly scratches her stomach that has been itching a lot lately. She scratches just the right spot, and her skin screams in pain, and Sara winces holding her stomach tightly. Fear flashes onto Catherine's face, **"Are you okay?"**

"**Yeah fine,"** Sara answers through her teeth. Meg looks over to see what is happening and gives Sara a knowing look.

"**It's infected."** Sara gives her a blank stare.

After Meg quickly cleans the few cuts on Sara's face she looks at Sara. **" Can you lift your shirt a little please sweetie."** Sara glances over at Catherine hesitantly before lifting her shirt. Horror takes over Catherine's features as she catches a glimpse at what lies beneath Sara's gown. Catherine is finding it harder to breath. A deep, red bite mark stands out against Sara's white stomach; a black, and purple ring surrounds the mark,and puss has started to ooze out of the wound. Catherine observes the trail of bite marks that fade in, and out retelling her actions before she became completely violent. She feels Sara staring at her, and her eyes are boring holes in Catherine. She can't bare to look at Sara as tears well up in her eyes and threaten to fall.

Sara's heart breaks as she sees the pain on Catherine's face, and the blonde's battle to keep her tears under control. Sara swears she can feel her heart split in two as Catherine turns her head, because she can't bare to look at the brunette anymore. Sara drops her head a lump rising in her throat, and waits for Meg to finish putting on a bandage. Meg glances up, and looks at the two women, observing change in their demeanors. **"Umm Sara you should go to your room now."**

Sara moves closer to Meg and lowers her voice, **"Can we have a few minutes alone please?" **Meg nods then leaves the room closing the door behind her. Sara crosses the room, and moves to take Catherine's hand but stops remembering the way Catherine jumped last time she touched her, and noting the bandage there, and what lies beneath it. Instead Sara stands close to the side of the bed not wanting to intrude on Catherine's personal space, or make her relive the horrible experiences she has been through. Sara knows what it is like not wanting anyone to touch you, as the feeling of their skin sent Sara spiraling back into the many events. Where she was lost and did not have the energy to escape the dark thoughts creeping out of every corner. She stands observing Catherine, as tears start to stream down the blonde's cheeks. Sara tries to catch Catherine's eyes, but can't manage to get the stubborn woman to look at her. Leaning over Catherine, Sara says, **"It's not your fault Cat, it wasn't your fault,"** and resists giving the blonde a reassuring kiss before leaving the room. - -

Sara nods at Meg to let her know she can go back in, and drags herself out to meet Linzz, and Lily. **"I think I'm going to try and get some sleep; ummmm keep a close eye on Catherine for me, don't let the nurses hassle you okay?"**

"**Yeah, Sara is everything okay?"**

Sara looks up at Lily with sad eyes, and nods lightly the action is seeming to take a lot of energy. Sara pulls Linzz into a hug kissing the top of her heed. Lily notices a tear trickling down the brunettes face as she holds Linzz to her. Sara lets go, and turns to hide the fact that she is about to breakdown.

Sara slides under the white blankets in her room, and begins to silently cry. She knows she is prone to panic attacks, and tries to calm herself before she launches into one. She quickly wipes away the tears as Meg comes in. Sara has no doubt the woman believed that she wouldn't be here. Her suspicions are confirmed with the look of shock on the woman's face. **"I ummm know it's not any of my business Ms. Sidle."**

"**Call me Sara please."**

"**Sara I know it's not my business, but Ms. Willows was really upset, and you seemed to be too when I saw you in the hall…Are you alright?"**

"**Ummm yeah I'm fine."**

"**Okay well get some sleep."**

"**You wouldn't happen to have a book I could read if I wake up in the middle of the night would you?"**

"**I can see what we have."**

"**Okay thanks, so just leave it on the stand if I'm sleeping when you come to drop it off."**

"**Okay." **Meg can't help but notice the way the brunette is talking, as if it is taking everything out of her. Which usually happens when a person is upset, or depressed. Sara can feel her eyes closing, as she watches Meg set a cup of water on the stand beside the flowers before leaving the room. - -

Sara wakes up in a cold sweat, Catherine's screams ringing in her head. Nightmares come frequently to Sara, and she usually knows how to comfort herself, but this time is not the same. It is not the reoccurring memory that usually visits her, instead Catherine is screaming as she is being electrocuted, Sara struggles to reach her, but can't. Sara considers reading the book Meg left for her it looks like a romance, but decides to take a chance, and attempt to sneak in and visit Catherine. Visiting time is long over, and Sara knows it will be difficult with the nurses' station right there, but she knows she, and Catherine need the time alone without interruption to talk. The tile is cold beneath her feet, as she lifts herself out of the bed. The hospital is too quiet for Sara's liking. As she passes the large windows she is blanketed by light from the moon, and she stops then rushes to reach the shadows, which would conceal her more if a nurse happened to wander down the hallway. When Sara exits the elevator she spots Linzz sprawled out sleeping on the couch, and Lily in the large chair next to her granddaughter. Like Sara, Lily seems to be a stranger to sleep. She spots Sara, and Sara gives her a pleading look raising her finger in front of her mouth. Lily nods, and walks over to the nurses' station to provide as a distraction as Sara slips behind the double doors leading to the different rooms. Suiting up Sara then enters the room to find Catherine's head turned away from her. Sara hopes that the blonde is getting better sleep than herself, and curls up in the chair in the corner of the room, waiting. Sara is startled when she realizes Catherine is staring at her. **"Cat?" **Sara whispers hoping not to attract any passing nurses. Catherine turns on the TV to cover the noise of their voices.

**"You should be in bed Sara."**

"**I wanted to see you."**

"**Why?"**

"**I have to have a reason?"**

"**How can you even look at me Sara when I sexually assaulted you. If it wasn't for you I would have raped you."**

"**But you didn't Cat. When I looked in your eyes as you bit me you weren't yourself. I knew you didn't want to do it you made that clear when you apologized before hand. I could see you trying to get through what ever had taken over you. It wasn't your fault." **Catherine has become quiet, there is something she is longing to say, but can't seem to get it out.

She takes a deep breath, getting ready to speak. Sara is hoping it is what the blonde was just contemplating. **"Are you sure?"**

Sara is rendered speechless by the question_. How could Catherine ever think she is capable of such torture?_** "I'm positive hun."**

Catherine raises her arm inches off the bed before it drops back down. Sara knows what she wants, and is instantly by her side, dragging the chair behind her. Before she moves to rests her hand on top of Catherine's Sara pauses remembering Catherine's last reaction. She glances up at Catherine who can sense her hesitation, and nods. Sara gently places her hand on Catherine's feeling the rough bandage against her skin. Catherine turns off the TV so that no nurses enter to ask her about sleep; throwing both the women into darkness. Sara can hear Catherine's deep breathing, and can picture the tears running down her face. When Sara's eyes adjust she cautiously wipes some of the tears from Catherine's face. Catherine weakly smiles at her. **"Did you get to see Linzz after I left?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Good."** Both of the woman are whispering, not wanting their voices to penetrate the enclosing darkness. **"Are you feeling okay?"**

"**Yeah, much better now." **It is Sara's turn to smile at Catherine's comment, and she does flashing Catherine a smile that makes her heart do back flips. Sara is carefully rubbing Catherine's hand as she stares off into space. Catherine turns the TV back on, and hands the remote to Sara. Sara turns the chair so that she is facing the TV, but refuses to put any space between her, and Catherine. She returns to rubbing Catherine's hand as she flips through the channels. Turning to ask Catherine what she wants to watch she discovers the blonde has fallen back asleep. After watching an episode of South Park waiting to see if Catherine is going to wake back up Sara changes the TV to The Disney Channel hoping to make Catherine laugh when she wakes up, and then Sara lightly kisses the blonde's head before leaving the room.- -

* * *

TBC... 


	9. Chapter 9

Coming in and out of fog, Sara has been sitting in the same two places for the past two weeks. She was released two days after she came in, and has been keeping to herself. Lily, and Linzz worry about her, but know where to find her, she is either in a waiting room chair, or planted in the corner of Catherine's room watching over the blonde. Sara has retreated to her thoughts where she can be alone no matter where she is. The world around her is constantly blurry, and she can't conjure up enough energy to clear her head. She sits with Catherine, but keeps her distance afraid to make the woman uncomfortable, or step over boundaries. Catherine too it seems to Sara has put up walls around herself, and when awake she draws herself inward. Sara hears her screaming at night sometimes, but can rarely get in to help Catherine out of her nightmares since a nurse discovered the two up talking at three in the morning.

Catherine lies in her room dosing in, and out of fitful naps. All she can see is the man's face, and Sara handcuffed to the bed. _Sara has stopped coming, and seeing me as often, and mom has informed me that the young woman is out in the waiting room completely consumed inside herself, and that they can rarely get a response out of her that is more than a word. It turns out Sara has been insisting that Linzz, and mom come in to see me. I'm worried about her when she is in here she is in her own little world in the corner. She has stopped initiating contact, and I'm afraid to do it, because maybe she changed her mind, and has realized I am to blame for my actions._

Sara hears a faint voice trying to get her attention, but the clouds are too thick. She tries frantically to comprehend what the person is saying, because it could be important, it could be something is wrong with Catherine. Sara can't seem to grasp her head around the words, and is getting increasingly frustrated. Then without warning the fog clears, and Sara turns to find Lily sitting next to her. **"You should go home, at least shower, and get dressed Sara; then come back. Catherine will be fine while you are gone. Maybe you could take Lindsay she is getting quite restless."**

"**Okay."**_- - _

Sara is rushing home to take a quick shower, and grab some things for Cath. It feels nice to be out of the hospital, but Sara is itching to get back to Catherine. The doctors say she should be able to move into a different room within the next two days. Next to her Lindsay is talking nonstop about different things while Sara tries her hardest to keep up with the girls traveling thoughts.

"**Hey Sara?"**

"**Yeah hun?"**

"**Can I ask you something?"**

"**Sure I guess."**

"**Why did you leave?"**

"**I had to get away from something; why do you ask?"**

" **Well Uncle Gil has been over at our house a lot lately he has been really upset, and mom hasn't been much better. She tries her hardest to help Uncle Gil, but I can tell she struggles with it. She has been very moody, and sad lately too sometimes worse than Gil, and it didn't start until you left."**

"**Oh…"**

"**It's probably just another guy problem I don't know why I even brought it up. So do you like Family Guy?" **A smile spreads across Sara's face at Lindsay's not so subtle attempt to change the subject.

**"Yeah I do it's pretty funny, but I really like South Park, or The Simpson's"**

"**Me too maybe we could watch one of them tonight at the hospital."**

"**Yeah maybe, but we really need to let your mom get some rest so she can move into a different room."**

" **Hey don't lecture me I'm not the one sneaking in to see her at all hours of the night."** Sara can feel the color rising in her cheeks, and concentrates on the road. Linzz is of coarse right, but Sara won't admit that. Pulling into her driveway Sara is curious as to what the package on her steps is. Bringing the rather large box inside she sets it on the table, and asks Linzz to go grab her mom's pajamas out of her things in the guest room. Opening the box there is an envelope resting on top of her, and Catherine's clothes. When she rips open the envelope a picture falls onto the table, picking it up Sara smiles at the familiar picture of her, and Catherine together at the barbeque Catherine threw on the 4th of July. They were laughing at something Sara can't remember what, and smiling. It was a rare moment for Sara, and Catherine, and Sara is glad it was captured in time for her to look at whenever she needs to remember. A letter has come with the possessions.

_**Sara,**_

_**I thought you, and Catherine might want these back. I wanted to return your picture to you. I hope you are doing better, and we are all looking forward to seeing you back at work.**_

_**Jeremy**_

Sara was hoping she wouldn't have to think about work for a while. She has no doubt her team will do a good job at tying up the loose ends on the serial rapist case so that Sara won't have to. She knows both her, and Catherine will have to give statements, but she knows she can postpone that for a while, because the guy isn't going anywhere fast. They managed to save him, but Catherine even as weak as she was, had the same precise shot as always. Sara hops in the shower quickly, and then gets dressed in a form fitting, but lose tee, with a black zip up sweatshirt, and worn in jeans, and throws her hair up into a ponytail. First Sara runs into her room, and grabs a few books, and one she thinks Catherine might enjoy, and then she goes into the guest room, and finds the shampoo, toothbrush, hair brush, and tooth paste, and a few other things she knows Catherine will want. Leaving the room she finds Linzz sitting in the living room hugging her mom's clothes. **"Linzz sweetie are you okay."**

Looking up at Sara with sad eyes she says,** "Yeah."**

"**You don't look like it, what's wrong?"**

"**Nothing I was just…the clothes smell like my mom. She is so different now, and I don't blame her because she is really hurt, I just came so close to losing her."**

"**I know sweetie, we are just going to have to help her until she is back to her old self."**

"**Yeah."** Sara crosses the room, and takes the clothes from Lindsay catching a whiff of Catherine before placing them in the bag with the rest of Catherine's things. She places a hand on Lindsay's shoulder, and pulls the young girl into her. She looks down on the young Willows, and is amazed at how much Linzz looks like her mother, but there is a hint of her father in her features. **"Lets go back to the hospital hun."- -**

Sara enters Catherine's room in the ICU with Linzz close behind her, and they look at each other their faces mirroring the same horror, because Catherine isn't there. Sara runs out t the nurses' station with Linzz at her heels. A pleasant looking nurse takes one look at Sara, and turns to get her medical kit. **"What's wrong? In what room?"**

"**I don't know we just got here, and Catherine Willows isn't anywhere to be found. Did they find more bleeding? Is she in surgery? What is going on?"**

"**Let me check, you two calm down okay."**

"**Yeah right."** Sara turns to glance at Linzz, and notes the tears of fear streaming out of her crystal blue eyes. Sara pulls the young blonde into her, and holds her tight. **"I'm sure everything is fine Linzz." **Sara brushes her lips against he top of the girl's head.

**"Okay it turns out there was a bit of a scare earlier when Ms. Willows had a panic attack, but after a thorough check there was nothing wrong with her that could keep her in the ICU any longer so she was moved down into a private room on the floor below us."**

"**Oh thank God!"**

"**Room number 56."**

"**Thanks, come on Linzz lets go see your mom."** Sara and Linzz get in the elevator, and start to crack up at the expressions on each other's faces. Tears are streaming out of both of their eyes as they struggle to catch their breath. They break out into another fit of laughter as they enter the room. Linzz is the first to fall to the floor holding her stomach, and rolling around unable to control herself. They have been overcome by a mixture of relief, and wave of tiredness. Sara soon follows Linzz collapsing on the floor her face red, and tears pouring out even harder. Catherine, and Lily watch the two younger woman it confusion, and amusement. Sara finally gains control, and sits up looking up at Catherine from the floor. She then glances over at Linzz who is still rolling around in a fit of laughter. Sara has to force herself not to break out laughing again. Sara crawls over to the side of the bed, and uses the railing to pull herself up, and then takes in the sight of Catherine. The laughter has become contagious, and she is quietly laughing at the sight of Linzz. It is nice to see a smile across her bruised face. Sara places her hand on Catherine's face, and kisses her forehead. Catherine gives a slight shiver under Sara's touch, but Sara pretends not to notice, she doesn't want to ruin the moment by becoming sad, and retreating, again. She drags a chair across the room stopping to pick up the bag she dropped on the floor. Lily observes the transaction between the two women, and is shocked at how it has changed since the last time she saw the two together.

Catherine glances at Sara with a smile that reaches her eyes, and it is returned by a wide gap toothed one. Sara takes Catherine's frail hand, and they watch as Linzz struggles to breath, and finally manages to sit up. Wiping the tears from her face she gets up from the floor much more gracefully than Sara, and gives her mom a hug. Sara's eyes travel around the room, and she notices there are only two chairs so she pulls Lindsay onto her lap, and rests her head on the girls back.

"**So what was so funny you two?"** Catherine gives them a suspicious look.

Sara and Linzz lock eyes both of them have a mysterious twinkle lurking in the corner of them, and Sara winks at Linzz before putting on an innocent look directing it toward Catherine, **"Nothing."** Catherine who had been observing the two, and is she must admit a pretty good investigator, meaning she didn't miss the small wink Sara directed toward her daughter. Linzz had managed to steal the remote away from her mother, while her attention was in other places, and is now flipping through the channels. Finding the one she wants she leans back on Sara, and they both laugh, as Stewie freaks out about the glass in his head. Sara is happy even Catherine finds parts of the show to laugh at. Sara watches the young blonde in her lap battling with sleep, and the same expression on her mothers face. Sara catches Lily's eyes, and smiles motioning for her to come closer. The older woman crosses the room having been on her daughters other side, and bends her head to listen to Sara's quiet voice. **"Why don't you and Linzz go crash at my place after this show is over, and when you come back tomorrow I need to head out for a couple hours to check in at work, and get some sleep. Help yourself to anything there, and if you need anything call me, and I will find a way to get it to you."**

Lily nods, and glances at the TV to find the ending credits starting to drop down the screen. **"Come on Linzz we are going to go get some sleep at Sara's, and then we will be back so that Sara can do a few things."**

"**Okay."** Lindsay looks over hesitating, because of her mom, but in the end decides it is best, and hugs Catherine gently before moving so her grandmother can do the same. When they leave Catherine looks over at Sara, **"So you gonna tell me what was so funny?"**

"**Not so much funny as mixture of tiredness, and relief."**

"**Relief?"**

"**Yeah we had quiet a scare when we couldn't find you in your room upstairs."**

"**Ahh... sorry about that."**

"**It's okay it felt good to laugh didn't it?"**

"**Yeah it did." **Sara looks down at her lap, and then looks up at Cath smiling. **"What?"**

"**I brought you some clothes if you would like them."**

"**God would I."**

"**Well I was thinking I might need a hug first." **Sara smiles, and gives Catherine a teasing look. Catherine herself smiles remembering the last time she hugged Sara.

"**I would be more than glad to give you one**." Sara gets up, and allows Catherine to pull Sara into her frail frame. Catherine notices as much as Sara it is still warm, and reassuring at the connection of their bodies. Sara buries her face in Catherine's soft hair. She must have been allowed to have a bath before she switched rooms because her blond locks smell of hospital shampoo, but Sara doesn't mind because any way Catherine smells it still fills her with warmth, and makes her feel protected as long as the blonde is there. Sara can't quiet make the connection in her brain to why she enjoys holding Catherine so much, or why she likes Catherine holding her, but at the moment she doesn't care, and doesn't want to ruin the moment by being lost in her thoughts. Sara returns to the warmth, both woman are reluctant to break the connection; Sara lifts her head to smile at Catherine before kissing her forehead. Catherine looks at her, and Sara can't miss the love in her eyes, which makes Sara want to ponder over which type of love it is. Sara is relieved that Catherine hadn't shied away from her like she usually does when Sara tries to give her physical support, and love. Catherine finally decides she should let go of Sara no matter how much she wants to keep the brunette in her arms forever; yet the long hug might become awkward for Sara if Catherine holds it out any longer, and that is the last thing she wants. Sara turns, and opens the bag. **"Okay you have a choice of either these…"** Sara has some of Catherine's comfiest flannel pajama's in her hand, **"Or this."** Sara pulls out to Catherine's horror, and embarrassment what she recognizes to be her black see-through miny dress, in other words lingerie. Sara is trying her hardest to keep a straight face with the expression on Catherine's face, and this battle doesn't go unnoticed by Catherine. **"I'm sorry Cat, I couldn't help myself."**

"**Ummhmm."**

"**The lingerie is very sexy if that makes you feel any better."**

"**Pssh you really are something Sara. I think I'd prefer the ones that covered my body so everyone who walks in here doesn't have to see my tits."**

"**Aww you party pooper. I was looking forward to that." **Catherine can't help but giggle at the look on the brunette's face, and they both start to laugh; Sara is coming dangerously close to returning to her place on the floor. When the brunette recovers she wipes the tears from Catherine's eyes who is still silently shaking with laughter. **"Okay flannel pajamas it is. I guess they could be just as sexy."** Sara winks at Catherine and sends a smirk the blonde's way; she is having too much fun teasing Catherine, but she knows she needs to be careful, because Catherine will find a way to get back at her. Catherine chuckles then moves the blankets to get out of bed. Sara is taken over by a wave of sickness at the sight of Catherine's legs which are even worse than her arms, they are covered in bruises and lines, but Sara can also see marks on the side of her legs where she struggled when she was it looks like dragged across the cement floor. Catherine cautiously watches Sara who looks like she is about to pass out.

**"Sara are you alright?"**

"**Ummm yeah, yeah I'm fine Cat. So lets get you dressed. I promise I will fight the urge to get a glimpse of you naked."** Catherine chuckles again at Sara's witty comments. She had never gotten the chance to know this side of Sara. She had never really gotten the chance to know any side of Sara, but her bad one, and Catherine feels her regret starting to stir within once again_. This time things will be different I have a second chance, and I won't mess it up._ Catherine sits on the bed with some help from Sara, as her energy quickly starts to drain. Sara unties her gown closing her eyes the second it is done, and hands Catherine the already unbuttoned shirt. Catherine buttons two of the middle buttons to hold the shirt together, and asks Sara for the pants. Sara takes Catherine's arm and loops it around her shoulder, before placing the woman's feet on the cold floor. She then helps Catherine get the pants around her legs before looking away while the blonde struggles to pull them up. Once Catherine is lying back on the bed Sara finishes buttoning her shirt, and pulls the covers up to her chin. The normally small exertion has taken everything out of Catherine. **"I brought you a book I wasn't sure what you would like, and I have three or four if you want to look through them."** Sara takes the book out of the bag, and hands it to Catherine then pulls out the blonde's reading glasses, and hands them to her.

**"Thanks."**

**"No problem."** Sara takes out her own book, and finds a comfy position in the chair. After reading a few pages she stops to check on Catherine, and finds the woman asleep, so she returns to her book. —

Catherine rolls over and opens her eyes Sara is already half way through her book. She smiles; the brunette looks so relaxed when she reads it is very cute. **"Hey,"** Catherine says in barely more than a whisper.

**"Hey Cat, how did you sleep?"**

**"Good."** As Catherine looks at Sara it is the first time she has noticed the bags under the brunette's eyes. She can tell Sara is in a never-ending battle with sleep. **"Ummm I can move over if you want to get some sleep."**

Sara smiles, but than looks unsure. **" I'm not sure if that is the best idea."**

**"Why not?"**

**"It's nothing"**

**"Are you sure?"**

**"Yeah."**

Catherine looks into Sara's dark orbs; worry, fear, and hesitance have made a home inside them, and are becoming more pronounced every day.** "I need you tonight Sara, please."**

**"Okay… Hey, I'm gonna go brush my teeth first, do you want to come I brought your tooth brush, and tooth paste."**

**"You are a life saver**." A huge grin spreads across Sara's face. She helps Cath into the bathroom, and sitting her on the toilet seat; passing the blonde her toothbrush. Sara helps Catherine onto the bed, and crosses the room to get on, on the other side. Sara slips the covers on trying to make as little contact with Catherine as possible. Catherine rolls over onto Sara's shoulder surprising the brunette. Sara glances down at Catherine who is already looking at her with a puzzled look. She doesn't hesitate for any further permission, as she wraps both of her arms around Catherine locking her fingers on the blonde's slender back, and pulls Catherine as close as she can be without the blonde laying completely on top of her. Catherine quickly falls asleep, and Sara doses off soon after, both woman lost far off in their own thoughts, yet at the same time connected by the other's warming touch.

* * *

TBC... 


	10. Chapter 10

The cement walls, and crusty mattress dissolve from around Sara, and she is thrown back into a dark room. She is drenched in cold sweat her heart is loudly beating, and she is afraid it might wake Catherine who still in a semi peaceful state of sleep on her shoulder. Sara rolls out from under Catherine, and turns on the light so she doesn't trip over anything, and make more noise than she already is. She can feeling it coming, and knows there is no way to prevent it. Catherine's eyes have flickered open, and Sara heads toward the bathroom not wanting to scare the blonde, as her chest begins to constrict even more. Sara has started taking faster, and shorter breaths, the world around her is blurring at the edges, as she shuts herself in the bathroom. **"Sara, what's going on? Are you okay?"**

Fear has stricken Catherine hard; she can sense it coiling around her heart, and lungs moving to her brain trying to cloud her judgment. She knows she shouldn't be walking, but she is going to take the chance. Grabbing the metal pole that holds her IV she clings to it for support as she crosses the room. Catherine feels the energy draining from her limbs. It is becoming harder for her to walk her legs are too tired, but she keeps going. Catherine places her hand on the doorknob, and attempts to turn it, but her grasp is too weak. She tries again, and this time she is more successful. Sara is perched on the side of the tub trying to control her breathing; she is sobbing uncontrollably. Catherine sits on the toilet seat next to her, and places her shaking hand on Sara's face. **"Sara? Sara you need to calm down take deep breaths."**

A faint voice forces its way into Sara's mind, but it is quickly consumed by Catherine's screams. Every where there is blood, Catherine is in front of her with the rapists standing over her, their shapes morph into the distant, but familiar ones of her mother standing over her father, and then back again. There is a knife gleaming through the blood that covers it; Catherine's screams are becoming louder. Sara thinks she is going to be sick. She searches the cold cement room, but she can't find Cath, can't save her. It is becoming even harder to get air; her lungs are starting to burn.

Catherine continues to speak to Sara, and try to pull her out of the attack. The brunette has collapsed on the floor. She searches for any sign of recognition, or presence. Sara is lost in another time, her eyes are blank almost empty, and unrecognizable. Catherine can feel tears streaming down her own face, she had given into fears torture long ago. Catherine tries to wipe away some of Sara's tears, but they are immediately replaced. Sara lifts her heads trying to stop the screams, and the pictures. The darkness around her starts to clear, and she gets a glimpse of familiar blue, tired eyes. Catherine's screams start to dull, and she can hear the woman's voice clearly. **"Sara you need to take deep breaths."** Sara finds herself back in the bathroom with Catherine sitting beside her.

Catherine sees it a small twinkle in Sara's eyes, the brunette is suddenly struggling to control her breathing. Catherine quickly glances down when she feels Sara's hand touch her own. She laces their fingers together, and moves herself closer to Sara's ear. **"Take deep breaths sweetie, calm down I know you can do it." **Sara's breathing suddenly slows back to normal, and the brunette pushes herself up, and locks her hands around her legs. **"I…. I'm sorry Cat. I…. Why are you out of bed?"**

"**I couldn't just lay there Sara you needed me."** Sara observes Catherine who is trying to gain control of herself again. Her small, frail form seems even smaller, as her energy continues to drain. Sara slides over and puts her arm around Catherine; the blonde is shaking furiously. Sara allows herself to take quick irregular breaths since the tears have stopped, and she listens to Catherine doing the same thing.

"**You need to get back into bed."**

"**I don't know if I can."** Sara stands finding herself shaking a little, but she ignores it, and lifts Catherine off the ground holding her close in her arms. Catherine grabs the IV dragging it behind them, as Sara carries her back out to the bed. Once Catherine is back in the bed she watches as Sara retreats back into the chair. **"Sara?"**

"**Yeah?"**

" **Will you come back to bed?"**

"**Ummm…"**

"**Please."** Sara takes a deep breath, and focuses on Catherine. The blonde's look is half pleading, half worried.

"**I will after I'm done reading."** Catherine knows that means she won't. Catherine is still shaken from Sara's panic attack, and wants the brunette next to her so that she knows Sara won't leave her.

"**Please Sara, you can read in bed it won't bother me."** Sara notices the fear in Catherine's eyes, and in the sound of her voice. Guilt rises within her, and she can't refuse. She climbs back into the bed next to Catherine, and gently brings Catherine back to her side so that they can both fit in the tiny hospital bed.

Catherine buries herself in Sara's hair. It is welcoming as a fruity sent floats around her, as she finds her place on Sara's shoulder again. Catherine protectively drapes her arm over Sara's stomach. She can sense Sara's eyes on her, and lifts her head to meet Sara's gaze. She flashes a smile at the brunette. Sara takes in how tired Catherine is, and the love in her eyes. She places her hand carefully on the back of Catherine's head silently telling her to lie back down. She can feel the stitches under Catherine's hair from where she at one point hit her head. Sara waits for Catherine to fall asleep, while she is doing so she rests her head against the top of Catherine's, and strokes her arm. When Sara is positive the blonde has fallen asleep she picks up her book, and begins to read. - -

Sara glances over at hr cell phone on the table next to her. It says it is six in the morning. Sara switches off the light, sleep is finally starting to settle back onto her eyes. She glances down at Catherine who has barely moved from Sara's side all night. A small amount of sunlight has made it through the drapes, and now dances on Catherine's face illuminating her beauty. Even though her face is covered in bruises that have turned to a yellow-green, and thin brownish red lines are visible all over her face Catherine still holds an obvious beauty.

_What is wrong with me? I shouldn't be thinking this stuff. I mean I've always noticed how gorgeous Catherine was, but not in a loving way. Ugh I need to stop!_

Sara notes how fragile Catherine's body is in her arms, and a lump starts to rise in her throat. She can't believe she let this happen to Catherine, and she can't even imagine how long it will take the blonde to return to her normal self, or as normal as she can be after a traumatic event like the one she lived through. Yet Sara thinks there is hope precisely because of that reason, Catherine lived, and never truly gave in. She is a fighter, and Sara will try her hardest to help the blonde. Catherine stirs in her arms, and opens her eyes immediately glancing up at Sara. Everything is slightly blurry to Catherine at this moment. **"What time is it?"**

"**Six. Go back to sleep Cat."** Sara says in a loving tone.

"**Have you slept at all?"**

"**No I was just about to though."**

"**Okay." **Catherine moves closer into Sara, before dosing back off, the previous night's events still having an effect on her. Sara wraps her arms around the blonde before closing her own eyes, resting her head on top of Catherine's, and allowing sleep to overcome her.- -

Lily, and Linzz enter the room, and become silent when they notice the lights are still off. Lily sends Linzz to go get some flowers for her mom telling the girl she is going to ask Sara if she wants to go now, and then she will be right there. Reentering the room Lily discovers the two women in bed together. Lily's stomach does a flip out of concern for her daughter, but at the same time she can't help noticing how peaceful the two look. Both of them have put their arms over the other in a way that clearly shows how they have remained protective subconsciously. Lily doesn't want Catherine moving to fast though, because she knows her daughter will, and she doesn't want her getting involved in something she can't handle. She knows Catherine will not think of the consequences first, and it is her job to point them out, but Lily also knows she is jumping to conclusions, and she shouldn't. The two women are bound to be closer after what happened to them, what ever that was, and she has seen with her own eyes how much distance Sara gives Catherine unless her daughter makes the move for less. She sighs, and crosses the room; leaning into Sara's ear she whispers, **"Sara,"** Sara stirs even in her sleep she is careful conscious of the woman beside her, but she does not open her eyes. **"Sara."** This time Lily's words trigger a response and Sara lifts her head looking at her confused. She seems to finally understand that Lily is standing next to her, and glances quickly at Catherine to make sure she is all right. Sara cannot figure out why Lily is in the room so early.

"**What time is it?"** Sara's voice is quiet, and her mouth is dry.

"**Eleven, you said you wanted to get in to work, but Linzz, and I didn't want to come in too early. We didn't expect to find the two of you still sleeping."**

Sara can feel the color burning its way onto her face, she realizes how the situation must look to Lily, but she doesn't say anything about it. She figures if Lily wants to address it she can. Sara glances back over at Catherine she does not want to wake the woman, but doesn't know how she is going to get out from under her without doing so.

"**Thanks for waking me I need to get to the lab. I should probably take a shower first though. Hey where is Linzz?"**

"**Down buying flowers for her mom, which reminds me I need to be down there with her. I noticed you didn't really pack anything for yourself yesterday when I was in the bathroom this morning, so I had Linzz grab you some clothes, and showering things."**

"**Thanks."**

"**No problem, now if you will excuse me I need to go find my granddaughter before she gets herself into trouble." **Lily glides across the room with an ease that Sara has only seen in Catherine before; _like mother like daughter._ —

Sara allows the warm water to pour down her back. Steam rises around her, the smell of her shampoo masking the smell of the hospital. Her mind wanders back to the blonde sleeping in the other room. Faintly in the back of her mind she hears Catherine's scream again. Usually Sara can relax in the shower, but she doesn't seem to be able to here. She knows it's because she is in a hospital, but she's been in here for a while so she doesn't know why she can't seem to conquer her fear. Stepping out of the shower she hears some movement in the adjacent room. She peaks her head out the door to see what it is, and finds Catherine sitting up in the bed. She looks puzzled; Sara steps out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel to check on her. **"Hey Cat how did you sleep?"**

Catherine pulls herself out of her mind, and glances up at Sara. It takes tremendous effort not to allow her jaw to drop. Water trickles down Sara's chest, and toned legs. Her hair is falling naturally around her face, and is a black from the water. Catherine notices her heart has started beating a little faster, and she struggles for control. **"Fine, I was wondering where you were."** Catherine forces her eyes to move upward, and meet Sara's.

"**I have to go do a few things. Are you feeling alright?"** Besides for the strange look on Catherine's face she looks paler than usual, and the blankets look heavy against the blonde's small frame.

"**Yeah I'm fine just tired."**

"**Okay. Why don't you order some breakfast actually lunch while I finish up in the bathroom."**

"**Alright do you want anything?" **

"**How about a diet coke, and some potatoes or something I don't know pick something out for me as long as it doesn't have meat."**

"**Okay."** Catherine lets her eyes wander down Sara's back over the towel to her legs as she returns to the bathroom. While Catherine is doing this her mom, and daughter enter the room, and she hopes that she adverted her eyes fast enough so they didn't notice anything.

"**I'm about to order lunch you two want anything?"**

"**No thanks we already ate."**

"**Okay suite yourselves."** Lindsay moves to her mom's side passing her the flowers, and pulling her into a light hug. **"Thanks sweetie."**

"**You're welcome." **

Sara comes back into the room as the food is arriving. Catherine notes her choice in clothing she is wearing an Ozzfest t-shirt, with dark blue jeans. **"I didn't realize you were into metal." **Sara looks at Catherine puzzled.. **"Your shirt."**

"**Oh yeah I am. I don't usually wear half of the clothes in my closet, but Linzz picked me out some, and I decided to wear this shirt for a change… Hey Linzz sweetie how are you doing? I didn't realize you were here you are being so quiet."** Sara pulls the teenager into a tight embrace, before sitting on the edge of Catherine's bed to eat her food. Catherine had ordered her a salad with four different types of dressing in packets on the side. Sara smiles at the blonde, and receives a small smile in return. Sara looks at Catherine questioningly, but the blonde shakes her head at Sara. Catherine reaches for the fork to pass to Sara, and Sara rests her hand on top of Catherine's leaving it there for a few seconds before slipping the fork out from beneath her frail fingers. --

_It is weird to be back in the lab._ Sara has been Supervisor here for about a month, and for more than half the time she has been in the hospital. Sara enters her office, and groans at the mountain of paperwork on her otherwise clear desk. Boxes are still piled around the room where she hadn't had the time before to unpack. New slips of paper with the cases on them lie on the corner of her desk. Sara decides to take them to her team, which she notes seem to be getting a late start today, and check up on everything. Sara walks into the small break room, and as eyes fall on her the room becomes silent. Sara has the suspicion that they were either talking about her, or about something that has to do with her. Pretending not to notice Sara plasters on a smile, and acts happy to be back at work. Handing out assignments Sara glances around the room, and spots the person she is looking for. **"Jeremy can I have a word with you before you head out."**

"**Sure Sara."**

Sara and Jeremy wait until the room is empty; Sara motions to Jeremy to sit back down as she crosses the room to close the door. She then seats herself next to him, and looks him straight in the eye. **"How is everything going with the Cole…. Isn't that the bastard's name Cole?"** Sara waits for Jeremy's quick nod before returning to her thought. **"Yeah so how is everything going with that case?"**

"**The evidence came back from the lab, and everything seems to match up. We need your, and Catherine's testimonies, and it would be helpful if both of you would take the stand at his trail. It might mean the difference between death row, and life in jail."**

"**I'll talk to Cath about it."**

"**Okay. How are you feeling?"**

"**Me I'm fine, but it's not me I'm worried about it's Catherine."**

"**How is she holding up?"**

"**As well as she could be I guess. Oh here is your assignment, you've been working hard so go print the store finish up early, and go home to rest okay Jeremy. I appreciate your devotion."**

"**It is no problem Sara."**

"**It's a big deal to me, have a good night off okay, and you are out tomorrow right?"**

"**Umm no that's next week."**

"**Take tomorrow off okay."**

"**Okay thanks my girlfriend will be happy. I'll see you later Sara."** Jeremy leaves the room. Sara can't help but smile after him. Sara knows part of the reason she instantly clicked with Jeremy is because he is so much like Greg. Sara decides she wants to unpack her office, but while walking back to her office she thinks about what lies in those boxes, and decides against it. Too many thoughts of Grissom, and the people who had become her family before she left Vegas. Sara is not ready for that, she is also not ready to stumble across the carefully packed engagement ring that rests somewhere in one of the boxes in her house. Sara walks into her office her eyes falling on the pile of paperwork she turns and looks behind her hoping for a distraction, but none comes. Sara plunges into a world of paper work. Case files, reports, requests, lecture invitations, and lab results become all Sara sees. She is lost carefully reviewing everything, until she finally pulls herself out. Glancing at the clock she is shocked by the time. It is seven o'clock, and Catherine is probably waiting for her. **"Shit!"** Sara mumbles to herself as she grabs her jacket, and dashes out of the room.

* * *

TBC... 


	11. Chapter 11

Linzz glances at the clock again ten minutes have gone by, it is seven ten, and Sara is nowhere to been seen. Linzz is already worried about her mother who has been getting worse as the day progresses. The door flies open, and Sara enters the room. She makes her way toward the bed, and is halfway there before she actually realizes Catherine isn't in it. **"Hey, sorry I'm late I got caught up in paperwork. Where is your mom?"**

"**In the bathroom with grandma she has been puking her guts out all day."** Lindsay's face is illuminated with fear, and Sara's reflects hers.

"**Why aren't you in there?"**

"**They won't let me in."**

"**I figured. I'll go see what is going on, and then I'll come back, and tell you."**

"**Thanks."**

Sara opens the bathroom door, and steps in. Catherine is bent over the toilet her frail frame shaking. Lily is standing on one side of her a nurse on another. Catherine is the first to notice another presence in the room. **"Linzz I thought I told you to stay out."** She looks up and her eyes go wide with relief. **"Sara I didn't know if you…"**

"**Hey Cat."** Sara already knows what Catherine is going to say, and cuts her off cutting off all doubt in her mind for now. She walks over to the nurse. **"Do you know what is wrong?"**

"**No we haven't had the chance to take her out of here yet."**

Sara's words come out quiet yet commanding. **"I want you to find someone who knows what they're doing instead of just standing over Catherine watching her be sick!"**

"**I'll be right back with a doctor."** Sara's glare follows the nurse out of the room. The brunette glances at Lily, and then focuses her attention back on Catherine. Sara grabs her blonde locks as liquid mixed with blood comes back out of Catherine's mouth. Catherine finishes then sits on the bathroom floor she looks up at Sara whose heart breaks at the expression on the blonde's face. There are so many emotions hidden on her features, fear, tiredness, and longing. Sara doesn't fail to notice when Catherine tries to gather the energy to touch her, and sits next to the blonde on the tile floor, pulling Catherine onto her lap. Lily senses that the two need a moment alone, and leaves the room.

Sara runs her hand through Catherine's hair, as the blonde rests her head on Sara's shoulder.

"**I didn't think you were coming back,"** Catherine whispers.

"**Why wouldn't I Cat?"**

"**Maybe you changed your mind about me, or decided you had, had enough of taking care of me."**

"**No hun of course not. I got caught up in doing paper work."**

"**Ugh."**

"**Yeah."** Sara kisses Catherine's head, and wraps her arm around the woman's chest so that she can rub her arm. Catherine tucks her head under Sara's chin, but abruptly pulls away making a move for the toilet. Sara lets go of her, but remembers her shaking before, and wraps her arm around Catherine's waist to help hold her up, and holds back her hair with the other. Sara kisses the back of Catherine's head being cautious of the stitches, and rubs her back, whispering, **"It will be okay Cat, it will be okay."** Then she catches the blonde lock that is about to escape, and fall in Catherine's face. She looks up to see alarmingly more blood in the toilet bowl. Catherine collapses back into Sara's arms shaking furiously. **"Lindsay!"**

"**No Sara please I don't want her to see me like this."**

"**She so scared out there Cat it will only be for a moment."**

"**What is it Sara?"**

"**Could you grab me a blanket for your mom, and a pillow too I guess."**

"**Yeah of course."** When Linzz returns her fear is visibly more eased. She passes Sara the blanket, and pillow then leaves the room. Sara carefully wraps Catherine in the blanket, and tries to place her on the pillow so that she can rest.

"**No Sara."** Catherine turns to looks at her, and then buries herself in Sara's hair. Her warm breath sends chills up Sara's spine, and she can feel Catherine's hot tears burning a trail down her neck. Sara holds her closer, and starts to rub her jaw line. **"Please I just want to stay like this for a while."**

"**Of course baby." **Catherine moves her head away, and glances at Sara in shock. Sara realizes what she has done. She has used the name that she had with Gil, and Hank, a term that she reserves for those she truly loves; one that Catherine has probably heard from her mouth a million times, but she knows the significance too. **"Catherine I…"** Catherine shakes her head, and places a single finger over Sara's lips, then returns to her place in Sara's hair. Sara pulls the blanket back up to Catherine's neck, and rests her hand on the blonde's arm. Sara can sense her back getting tired from supporting not only her weight, but also Catherine's. Carefully she slides herself, and Catherine so that the side of the tub supports her back, and she can face the door. Catherine moves again for the toilet, and Sara holds her up.

Catherine feels the liquid rising in her throat, and tears in her eyes she is overtired, and wants this to end so that she can curl up in Sara's warmth if it is all right with the brunette. She collapses back on Sara, and is welcomed by the brunette's arms. **"Hey Lily!"**

"**Sara please she doesn't need to see me like this either no one does, but if I have my choice I trust you to keep it quiet."** Sara kisses Catherine's head, and tightens her grip on the blonde.

Lily appears at the doorframe, and again she feels her stomach doing back flips at the women's positions, but keeps her fears to herself. **"Yeah?"**

"**Do you know when the doctor will be coming?"**

"**I don't know I can check."**

"**Thanks."** Lily nods dieing to get her eyes off the two in their private moment. Catherine turns her head, and looks up into Sara's eyes. Tears have filled Catherine's blue pools, and tiredness, and sadness have taken over her face. Sara places her hand on Catherine's face, and the blonde leans into her touch. Catherine rests her head back on Sara's shoulder, and places her hand on the other so that her arm is draped across Sara's chest. Sara brushes her lips across the top of Catherine's head. **"Do you want to try, and go back to bed?"**

Catherine nods,** "But first could I brush my teeth?"**

"**Yeah."** Sara lifts Catherine off her lap, and turns down the toilet seat placing her there. **"I'll be right back."** Sara goes out, and gets Catherine's bathroom stuff. Lindsay flashes Sara a worried look, and Sara tries to give her a reassuring smile, but fails miserably. After she has gathered what she needs she walks over to Linzz gives her a kiss on the head, and returns to the bathroom. Catherine is kneeling over the toilet again, and Sara rushes to her side. Catherine leans back against Sara's legs, and is breathing hard. Sara looks down at her racking her brain for a way to help the blonde. Sara leans over, and flushes the toilet, and puts the seat back down. She bends over, and lifts the light woman back onto the seat. The blanket, and pillow are left forgotten on the floor, as Sara watches Catherine's shaking body, and the way she is struggling to lift her arm to brush her teeth. After a while Catherine looses all her energy as her eyes start to close, and she tries to pass the toothbrush back to Sara who takes it, and sets it on the sink. She lifts Catherine into her arms; Sara knows that if Catherine was her normal weight there might be more of a strain on her arms, and back to carry the woman, and guilt again floods her system. She places Catherine on the bed. The blonde has already fallen into a deep sleep, and Sara perches on the side of the bed Catherine's hand in hers, as she and Linzz watch MAD TV. Lily comes back in the room with a doctor, and Sara glances at Catherine's still, slumbering form. **"Do you have to wake her up?"**

"**I have to do a blood test. I can try my hardest not to, but usually the needle going into the skin would wake someone up. Where are her pillow, and blanket?"**

"**In on the bathroom floor could I get some new ones those should probably be washed. She doesn't need to be any more sick."**

"**I'll have someone bring some new ones in, but you are going to have to move out of the way Ms. so that I can get this done quickly."** Sara nods, and carefully untangles her fingers from Catherine's in an attempt not to wake her.

"**Sara,"** Catherine says in a faint sleepy whisper. Her eyes are still closed, **"Don't go." **Sara leans in next to Catherine, and brushes her lips against Catherine's smooth cheek. **"Mmmmm," **Catherine says quietly. Sara looks around a little nervous with all the people in the room at Catherine's reaction.

**"Linzz sweetie do you want to come with me to get some food or something? We will let your grandma stay for this."**

"**Okay." **Sara, and Linzz both look back at Catherine once more before leaving the room. They wander around the hospital, and find themselves in the gift shop. **"Why don't you find something for your mom." **Sara wanders aimlessly around the store looking for something, but she is not sure what.. Looking up through the front glass windows she notices there is a rather up scaled jewelry store across the hall. _Why not take a look. Maybe I can find something that can help me express to Cat that I won't leave her._ Sara finds Linzz looking at teddy bears, **"Linzz I'm just going to quickly look around in the store across the hall I'll be back in twenty minutes tops. Here's fifty bucks to pay for whatever you want to get your mom, oh and here,"** Sara passes Linzz a ten-dollar bill. **"For afterward if I'm not here yet you can go get an ice cream or something in the food court."**

"**Okay thanks Sara."**

"**No problem sweetie."**

Sara walks into the jewelry store, and is instantly surrounded by a very sparkly world. She looks at necklaces, and rings, and finally decides what she wants. She waits at the counter for a pretty looking woman to finish up with a different customer. **"Did you find what you were looking for love?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Okay well what can I get you? You know that man that just left another proposal you would be surprised at how many of those happen here. I guess that's why we opened a store here, at first everyone thought it was a crazy idea, but it's paid off."**

"**I had wondered why there was a jewelry store in a hospital."**

"**Everyone is looking for something different."**

"**I guess they are." **Catherine's face flashes in Sara's mind

**"So what can I help you with darlin."**

"**I was hoping to get that necklace right there, and one of those rings."** Sara points to a silver promise ring where in the middle of the heart it can hold any gem or diamond of the customers choice.

**"You sure can. What would you like in it."**

"**Well I know that this is sort of a weird idea, but would you be able to put two birth stones in there, and maybe swirl hem together in the middle."**

"**That is one of the most creative, and sweetest ideas that I have heard in this place so far, and as long as you don't mind the price then we sure can."**

"**Price isn't a problem."**

"**Okay now we offer some other things to. We do, do deliveries, and we have a wide selection of cards over there. If you chose delivery you might have to make a few more choices."**

"**When can the ring be done?"**

"**Two to three days give or take, everything is done here."**

"**Could it be delivered Friday around four."**

"**It could be. Would you like anything else to be delivered with the items."**

"**Yes actually, and could the ring be on the necklace."**

"**Why don't I get you a piece of paper, and you can right down what you would like oh, and a ring size."**

"**Okay." **Sara is examining the cards when the woman comes back. She has a piece of paper, but also box, ribbon, and wrapping paper choices. Sara eyes instantly fall on the black velvet box with a red silk lining. She points to the box, and the woman checks it off on an order sheet. After looking over the wrapping paper Sara chooses the dark blue with a gold ribbon.

"**I was hoping to have a flower delivered with it,"** The woman nods, and Sara writes the more intimate details on the sheet of paper including ring size, and birth stones. **"Could I have a moment to write in the card." **

"**Sure feel free to take a seat over there if you need it."**

"**Thanks."** Sara sits, and begins to write. –

Sara discovers Linzz in the food court with a rather large cone of ice cream. She buys herself a coffee before sitting with the young blonde. **"Sorry I took so long Linzz."**

"**It's okay did you find what you were looking for?"**

"**Yeah I did. What about you?"** Linzz points her head toward the bag next to her where a large over stuffed teddy bear, card, flowers, and candy rest.

**"Nice."**

"**Yeah I was happy that the had my mom's favorite candy." **Sara looks down at the rather expensive higher end chocolates.

"**Those are good."** Sara smiles at Linzz. **"Do you want to head back up to see your mom, they defiantly should be done by now."**

"**Okay." **When they reach the room Linzz is still patiently working on her giant ice cream, and Sara can picture the look on Catherine's face when she sees it.They enter the room, and Lily meets Sara half way.

"**She hasn't said a word since the doctors came back with the results, she has just gotten paler, and has been staring off into space,"** Lily whispers. Sara gets Lily's hint, that she wants Sara to have some time alone to try to get what ever it is out of Catherine.

"**Why don't you guys go back to my place to rest it has been a long day. Linzz you can give your mom her present tomorrow okay."** Linzz shakes her head knowing what is important, and crosses the room and kisses her mom before leaving. Lily shuts the door behind them, and Sara sighs turning to observe Catherine. She is wrapped under a new blanket with two pillows propping her up. A lone tear trickles down her face, and her eyes are distant. Sara walks over, and gets in the bed next to Catherine turning on her side so that they both fit. Catherine turns glancing at Sara before returning her eyes to the window. Sara reaches over, and brushes the tear away from Catherine's face. Then slides her fingers down Catherine's arm to her hand. Catherine links there fingers, and looks back at Sara. **"What did the doctor say?"**

"**It's just a stomach bug, and since my body is so weak it is more severe than it would be."**

"**Oh well that's good right?"**

"**I guess."**

"**Then why are you so sad?"** Catherine shakes her head ending the conversation, and buries herself in Sara's shoulder, and drapes her arm over the brunette's stomach. Sara runs her hand through Catherine's hair. Her nails lightly scratch Catherine's scalp, but are cautious of fragile areas that are hidden beneath her hair. Catherine has started to shake, and Sara recognizes it right away as she feels warm tears soaking through her shirt. Sara puts her hand under Catherine's chin, and lifts the her head so that she is face to face with the blonde. Catherine opens her eyes, which are bloodshot, and they dart away from Sara's looking for anything else to stare at. **"What's wrong baby?"**

Catherine's eyes find Sara's after the last word. **"It's nothing,"** the blonde whispers.

"**It doesn't looks like nothing to me Cat."** Catherine puts her head back down on Sara's shoulder, and begins to rub the brunette's side absentmindedly. Catherine has the urge to move her hand up further, and grope Sara ,or slip her hand beneath the brunette's shirt to rub Sara's stomach but stops herself. She knows _Sara would never_ _return the desire, but probably pull away._ Catherine feels Sara's arms tighten around her in a protective way, and decides to enjoy the contact the only way she will ever have it. After a while Catherine contently falls asleep in Sara's arms.

* * *

TBC... 


	12. Chapter 12

Catherine screams, and Sara's eyes snap open. She is on the edge of a dream, or that is what she assumes until Catherine screams again, and starts thrashing around on top of her.

In front of her is the battery; she can smell her own burning flesh the sent filling the room. Someone is breathing on her neck. They smell of BO, and alcohol, and she knows it is the man as his scruff scratches at Catherine's neck. Her eyes dart around for the familiar brown orbs that have always pulled her through, but Sara is nowhere to be found. _She has left, and is not coming back she couldn't deal with me._ **"Sara!"** Catherine screams searching frantically for the brunette's familiar face. Her scream has forced its way outside the dream world, and into Sara's ears who is desperately trying to calm Catherine. Another blinding pain fills Catherine's body as the electricity runs through her. She feels liquid gathering in her throat, and her eyes fly open, as he pushes Sara off of her; who at the time was trying to hold Catherine down, and pull her out of the darkness. Catherine rushes to untangle herself from the blankets, and stumbles across the room to the bathroom. Sara recovering from the shock of almost being knocked onto the floor follows Catherine into the bathroom, and holds her hair as she leans over the toilet. Catherine sits on the cold tile floor struggling to catch her breath. She glances up at Sara, and is greeted with concern. **"Can you lift me up for a sec?"** Sara lifts Catherine so that she is standing on her feet. Catherine wraps her arms around Sara's neck, and pulls the brunette into her. Sara slides her arms around Catherine's waist, and buries her face in her blonde locks. Sara starts rubbing small circles on Catherine's lower back with her thumb, as Catherine runs her fingers up, and down the back of Sara's neck.

**"Know what I shouldn't be doing this, but…"** Sara sweeps Catherine up off her feet, and places her on the bed before rushing out of the room. Catherine is completely lost; she had been enjoying Sara's light caresses, and is slightly upset that it ended. Sara rushes back into the room with a wheel chair closing the door behind her. **"I'm going to smuggle you out so you can get some fresh air."** Catherine sees the twinkle in Sara's eyes, and has no objection to leaving the hospital room. Sara digs through her clothes, and pulls out a pair of pants tossing them to Catherine, and pulls her jacket out of the chair. She looks away as Catherine battles with the pants. When the blonde is done Sara turns around, and helps Catherine get into her forensics windbreaker she had just grabbed from the box Jeremy sent to her house. It had swallowed the blonde before she had lost any weight, and now she is swimming in it. Catherine works up the energy and walks over to the chair refusing Sara's help. 

Catherine struggles to suppress a giggle as Sara does James Bond moves around the corner to make sure no one is coming. Catherine knows the brunette can't really afford getting into any more trouble at her expense, or she will most likely be kicked out of the hospital for endangering a patient, and harassing the staff. Catherine observes as Sara slips up to the nearest nurses' station, and reaches over grabbing a set of keys. Sara tries to keep to the shadows, and both women are straining their ears for any noise. Catherine glances back at Sara, and flashes her a smile. Catherine's stomach turns with nerves as they wait for the elevator doors to open. Neither of them knows what is on the other side. Catherine rests her head against Sara's stomach while they wait to reach their floor. Sara looks down, Catherine's face is scrunched in pain, and she is holding her stomach; sweat rolls down the blonde's face. **"Are you alright Cat?"**

"**Yeah I'll be fine."** Catherine manages to say through her teeth. Sara runs her hand through Catherine's hair, and has the blonde lift her head off of her stomach so that Sara can pull it back out of her face in an attempt to cool the blonde down. Sara watches as Catherine finally relaxes with sleep playing on the features of her face. The elevator doors open and Sara quickly peaks out of the doors before pulling Catherine out into the hall. The blonde has her eyes closed at the moment, and Sara leaves her in the hall as she unlocks the waiting room door, and then the door to the balcony. Coming back Sara rolls the chair out onto the balcony and stands next to Catherine. Catherine still has her eyes closed as she says, **" It's a little cold out here."** Sara chuckles, and lifts Catherine working her way into the chair, and placing the blonde back on her lap.

"**Hey,"** Sara whispers.

"**Mmmmm."**

"**Look up."** Catherine opens her eyes and is greeted by a full moon, and twinkling stars looking down on her and Sara.

**"It's beautiful. You know how you can see stars in Vegas, but it is nothing like this."**

"**Yeah I know, I thought you would like it."** Catherine glances back at Sara, and smiles. Sara slides her arms around Catherine, and rests her forehead against the blonde's arm, and places a light kiss against the jacketed arm. One Sara is sure Catherine won't notice, but Catherine notices it as it causes her heart to start racing. Catherine places her arm behind Sara's head, and starts rubbing her neck. Sara can feel Catherine shaking, and squeezes her tighter. Catherine looks down at Sara, and they lock eyes she moves closer so that her forehead is resting on Sara's. Catherine longs to diminish the gap between their lips, but at this point it is Sara's choice. Sara allows herself to smile at Catherine, and rub her jaw before pulling away. **"We should go back inside you're shivering." - -**

Dim yellow light blankets Catherine's face. Most of the bruises have faded away that Sara can see; yet some brownish lines remain. The blonde is propped up in bed fully dressed, and bathed. She has become stronger over the week, and is able to walk to the bathroom, and stand for at least ten minutes before her energy starts to drain.

Catherine is engulfed in a book, but can still feel Sara's eyes boring a hole in her. Catherine glances up, and Sara's eyes dart back down to the book in her lap. Catherine shakes her head, and returns to the book that Sara brought her, not more than five minutes later Catherine can feel Sara's eyes on her again. **"What are you staring at sweetie?"** Catherine lifts her head in Sara's direction, and raises her eyebrow. She smiles at the color that has crept into Sara's cheeks. **"Nothing… I need to talk to you about something."**

"**Okay what's on your mind?"**

"**Ummm well I've been talking to Jeremy, and he says that it would really be helpful if we both took the stand at the Cole trial."**

"**Cole is the guy that…"**

"**Yeah."**

"**How important is it?"**

"**The difference between death row, and life without parole."**

"**Oh."**

"**Listen Cat you don't have to do it. I told Jeremy I would run it by you, and he has been reminding me everyday."**

"**Do I have to give you a answer right now?"**

**"No of coarse not."**

There is a knock on the door, and a young man in his early twenties steps in. **"I have a delivery for Catherine Willows."** Catherine glances over at Sara who shrugs, hoping she looks innocent.

Catherine turns her attention back to the young man, **"That's me."**

"**I've been told you have to open this first."** The man hands Catherine a package wrapped in blue paper with a gold ribbon wrapped around it, and a single red rose. Catherine opens the package with a curious look on her face to discover a black velvet box. She flips the cover, and her eyes widen at what lies within; a white gold necklace with a promise ring lie on the red silk inside. The ring looks to be custom made in its center she recognizes her birthstone mixed with someone else's. She has a gut instinct of whose it is, but doesn't want to say anything yet. She glances up at the young man who passes her a card before leaving. Catherine opens the card, and starts to read.

_**Baby,**_

_**I promise you I will never leave you. Don't ever let that thought enter your mind again, because now you have no reason to doubt what I say. We will make it through this together, no matter how difficult. I promise to be by your side when ever you need me, and never hesitate to ask for help Cat. I love you. –Sara**_

Catherine can feels the tears running down her cheeks. She lifts herself out of bed, settling herself in Sara's lap. She laces her arms around the brunette's neck, and buries herself in Sara's hair. She can feel Sara's arms snake around her waist. Catherine plants a few light kisses across the tender part of Sara's neck. She can hear Sara quietly gasp, and Catherine smiles.** "Will you help me put the necklace on?"** Catherine whispers. Sara nods, and waits for Catherine to get off her lap. Catherine sits there for a few more minutes absorbing Sara's fruity smell, and the warmth that is radiating off her body. Catherine runs her hand up, and down Sara's arm as she pulls away to get up. She takes the necklace out of the box, and passes it to Sara. She moves her hair out of the way, and fights to control her erratically beating heart, that has started up at Sara's touch. Sara finishes, and places her hands on Catherine's hips pulling her closer, and slides her arms around Catherine's stomach. Catherine places her hand on top of Sara's linked ones.

_I can't stand this anymore I have to take a chance._ Catherine turns herself around in Sara's arms, and rests her head on the brunette's chest. She releases herself from Sara's grip, and perches on the side of the bed. Sara joins Catherine, and takes the blonde's hand. She glances up at Catherine, and Catherine moves closer to her, resting her head on Sara's shoulder. Catherine reaches up, and places her hand on Sara's faces rubbing the brunette's cheek. Her stomach is in a knot, as she lifts her head. She catches Sara's eye, and then takes a chance, and kisses Sara lightly at first, but when she feels the brunette start to kiss her back she applies more pressure. She begins to move her hand down off Sara's face to her neck, not stopping there. Sara rests her hand on Catherine's, and removes it before it reaches her chest, while she pulls out of the kiss. She stands up looking straight at Catherine. Her eyes wide as if she is cornered, Sara starts to back up, **"Cat it's too soon. You're not ready for this, it's not right, I can't, I'm so sorry baby…it's too soon."** Her last words come out barely audible. Sara grabs her jacket, and rushes out of the room. - -

Catherine crawls back into the bed, and turns the light off. She curls up beneath the blanket waiting for the tears to come. Her stomach starts to throb, again, and she runs into the bathroom. She comes back out when she is done, and goes back to her fetal position under the covers. After all she has been through, and this is what hurts her the most, this is what she believes could be her demise. Not her failing body, or the memories of her torture, but her Goddamn love for Sara! _Last_ _time I checked love isn't supposed to kill you._ Catherine starts to sob, these tears she knows will never end. - -

Catherine is still crying when she hears Sara enter the room three hours later. She tries to silence herself. She listens to the water running in the bathroom, and then the squeak of the chair, as Sara places herself across the room. Catherine's tears have begun to pick up pace again, and she hopes Sara doesn't notice her shaking. After twenty minutes when Sara still hasn't taken her normal spot next to Catherine in bed, Catherine untangles herself from the blankets, walks over to Sara, and takes her place in the brunette's lap. She focuses all of her attention on the younger woman waiting for her to glance up. Sara gives in, and peeks at Catherine before looking away. Her heart shatters at what she saw, and a lump rises in her throat. Tears are pouring out of Catherine's eyes hurt shows in every line on her face, to the way she holds her body. Sara reaches up, attempting to brush away Catherine's tears. She pulls Catherine into her, and places her hand on the back of Catherine's head trying to get the blonde to place her head in her normal spot, but Catherine resists Sara, but she refuses to let the blonde go, and Catherine gives in taken over by a new wave of tears. - -

Sara observes the sleeping blonde in her arms. _Do I want what Catherine has offered? If I do is it too late? What if I am acting like Gil I would never want to do that to Catherine, but it is too soon she might not even know what she wants. Maybe I do want it, but how do I know, and can I allow myself to love again I was head over heels for Gil, what if I end up having to do the same thing to Catherine that I did to him? Catherine was vulnerable she probably doesn't really want to pursue a relationship with me._ Catherine stirs in Sara's lap, and the brunette's attention is brought back to reality. She cannot focus on what happened then she needs to focus on what is happening now, and bring the past in later. _Examine the evidence._ _Okay well Catherine is asleep in my lap, but do her advances appeal to me? Maybe some especially when they could lead to more. I love her warmth, I could stay like this forever if I could, but would I want more? She looks so peaceful, and relaxed. She is the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, I might be attracted to her physically. I was when I first started in Vegas, but who wouldn't be._ Sara sighs her brain is on overload, and she needs time to process her thoughts. She can't afford to rush to a decision. She not only in charge of her own heart, and one bad move could destroy not only her, but also Catherine. _Is this how I made Gil feel?_ - -

Catherine turns over her arm searching for the familiar body to rest on, but it is not there. Catherine opens her eyes, and is blinded by the light of the alarm clock Sara had brought in. As her eyes adjust she can see that it is three in the morning. Catherine glances for Sara in the chair in the corner, but neither Sara, or the chair are there. She turns to discover the blinds open, and Sara placed in front of the window staring up at the sky lost in thought. **"Sara," **she whispers. Sara turns and glances at Catherine to acknowledge her presence before returning to the sky. Catherine gets out of bed, and stands behind the brunette looking up as she rubs Sara's shoulders. Sara rests her head carefully against Catherine's stomach. She still has her stitches, and Sara would hate to cause the blonde pain. Catherine brushes her lips against Sara's hair gently afraid to trigger the uncomfortable, and fresh event in the brunette's mind. **"Will you come to bed?"**

"**Maybe later."**

"**It's three in the morning there isn't much later, and you need to work in the morning."**

"**I'm not tired Cat I have too much on my mind."**

"**At least read in bed so that you are resting, or watch TV."**

"**I'm fine here."**

"**Sara! Don't make me drag you."**

"**Cat I don't want you draining your energy please go back to bed."**

"**Not without you."**

"**That's not a good idea Catherine!"**

"**Why not? We shared the bed when we were friends."**

"**But we aren't friends right now Catherine we are some weird in between."**

"**We only are what you make it Sara."** The moon moves out from behind a cloud, and Catherine gets her first clear look of Sara's face. Tears have welled up in her eyes, but she is putting in an honest effort not to let them fall. Catherine feels the brunette start to shiver beneath her arms.

Sara opens her mouth, and says faintly so that Catherine barely catches it, **"That's what is making it so hard."** Sara drops her head, and then rests it in her hands, which are propped up on her knees. Catherine takes Sara's arm, and tugs lightly on it. The brunette replies without hesitation by standing, and allowing Catherine to lead her back to the bed. Sara sits on the edge of the bed while Catherine removes her sneakers, and jacket. Catherine observes as Sara puts all her effort into moving onto the bed instead of collapsing where she is. When she makes it under the white covers she glances at Catherine waiting, but her eyes dart away when they meet the clear blue pools. Catherine carefully places herself on the edge of the bed, and takes off her top shirt so that she is in a black tank top, and jeans, slipping off her bra; she tosses it on the floor. Sara tries not to look like she is trying to catch a glimpse of the bra while Catherine climbs under the covers next to her. It doesn't seem to suit the deep depression Sara is feeling at the moment, but she has the urge to get a look at the piece of cloth for some reason. When it is out of sight Sara can feel the tears in her eyes again, and her lack of energy returns. Catherine attempts to slide her shoulder under Sara's head, but the brunette moves away, and turns her back to Catherine. Catherine starts to rub Sara's defined back; she is having trouble controlling herself at the feel of Sara's muscles beneath her fingers. Sara flips back over, and looks Catherine in the eye; Sara's eyes have become clouded over, and distant, but not like the night of her panic attack, which feels like years ago to Catherine. Sara moves her arm to pull Catherine in next to her, but the blonde shakes her head. Sara cautiously rests her head on Catherine's shoulder, and buries her face in Catherine's neck. **"I don't want to hurt you."**

Catherine knows Sara is partially talking about physically, but she is expressing more than that in a code. Catherine brushes her lips against the top of Sara's head, contemplating her answer. **"You won't Sara, you've been patient with me, and now it is my turn to devote my efforts to you if you will let me."** Sara doesn't reply, and Catherine is waiting for the tears to come, but they never do. Sara is holding herself together for Catherine so that the blonde only has to pick up the pieces of her own life, and not those of someone with a hidden past; if you dig hard enough it seems you can discover anything. Catherine strokes Sara's arm, and Sara brushes her lips against her neck to let the blonde know that she is still here, and not sound asleep. Sara sighs, and shuts her eyes; afraid to fall victim to her own thoughts again, but at the same time afraid to remain awake, and face her fears disguised in the face of Catherine Willows.

* * *

Sorry it has taken me so long to get these next chapters out my internet has stopped working, and no one can figure out what is wrong. Thanks for being so patient with me. I hope to get a few more chapters out this weekend. I hope you enjoy! cathandsaraforever55 

TBC...


	13. Chapter 13

Catherine rolls over, and opens her eyes. She can here a faint voice in the bathroom, and assumes it is Sara who no longer is next to her in bed. The room is dark; the first hints of morning light are beginning to dance around the room. Catherine has come to learn that this means is is closer to nine or ten. Sara walks out of the bathroom, her eyes are red, and puffy from crying, and she looks exhausted. **"Did I wake you up?"** Sara says in a hoarse, quiet voice. Catherine shakes her head, and Sara slides back into bed next to her.

It is painful at the moment for Sara to feel Catherine's body against hers; she is forced to remember what she could choose to let happen or not. She barely slept, as Catherine's face floated in and out of her dreams. Yet Sara feels even more torn, because she does not deserve the treatment Catherine is giving her, and Sara wants to pull away so someone else who is not afraid to sweep the gorgeous blonde off her feet can have their chance. Tears flood to Sara's eyes again, and her world once again is threatening to turn into one of black, and white where everyone moves in slow motion, and nothing means anything to her anymore. She glances at Catherine who is intently observing her actions, and Sara knows she is looking at what is on the inside as well. _But if I go into that state can I ever really stop feeling anything for Catherine?_ Sara can feel a migraine coming on already, and tries to block her thoughts. She moves so that she is on her side facing Catherine, and returns the blonde's gaze. Catherine reaches up, and strokes Sara's cheek. Sara can't hold it in any longer, she feels the rush of tears escape her eyes. Burring her face in Catherine's neck she weeps like she hasn't in a long time. Sara can feel Catherine holding her tight trying her hardest to comfort her. Sara shakes violently in Catherine's arms as her tears increase, and Catherine tightens her grip even more.

Catherine begins to repeatedly whisper. **"It's alright Sara, everything will be okay sweetie, everything will be alright." **Sara's tears finally start to cease, and she is taking shallow, ragged breaths. Catherine places her hand on the brunette's face sliding it down under her chin she lifts Sara's head trying to make eye contact. Their eyes connect, Catherine gets a glimpse of hopelessness, and sadness before Sara brings up her shield, and her eyes change to indifferent. **"There is more to it than I think there is isn't there?"**

**"More to what?"**

**"Your depression."**

**"I'm not depressed."**

**"Sara..."** Sara has spent her whole life hiding her struggles with depression, and she had been doing well until a few years ago when Gil had seen behind her mask. After she left Vegas she thought she had been doing a pretty good job of hiding it in public, but then Catherine came along... She sighs, and buries her face back in Catherine's shoulder, she can feel Catherine's fragile fingers stroking her back.

**"They are taking your stitches out today aren't they?"**

**"If I've healed."**

**"I should probably get in the shower before then... I'm staying with you."**

**"You have to work."**

**"Not today I called in, I also asked Betty to call Vegas, and say you are needed as an expert witness in the Cole case, and have become involved in another high profile one, but you will be back as soon as possible."**

**"Thanks... you've already missed enough work for me."**

**"They understand I need time to pull myself back together, and that I'm refusing to leave your side."** Catherine sighs, but has to smile at Sara's stubbornness.

Sara moves to get out of bed, and Catherine grabs her hand. The brunette is refusing to look at Catherine whether she is embarrassed or something else Catherine has no clue, but she doesn't want Sara hiding from her. **"Hey sweetie look at me."** Catherine says softly, and sweetly. Sara's eyes flicker onto Catherine's but leave them instantly before returning to the blue pools. **"It's going to be alright, everything. I have a feeling that deep down inside you already know what you want. As for whatever else is on your mind I have no doubt you are a strong person Sara, you might not believe it, but you could be even stronger if you trusted somebody and talked to them"** Her brown orbs fill with pain at Catherine's comment, and Sara wiggles her wrist out of Catherine's grip. Sara tries to relax as the warm water streams down her back, but she is becoming sadder as the minutes pass. She hears the bathroom door open, and curiosity strikes her, because Catherine usually gives her, her space. The toilet seat clanks against the back of the toilet as it slams open; the sound of Catherine throwing up reaches her ears, and Sara moves to pull open the curtain, and help Catherine, but remembers she is naked just in time. Grabbing the towel hanging over the curtain holder she quickly wraps it around herself, it is soaking wet by the time she steps out of the shower not bothering to turn off the water. Sara pulls Catherine's hair away from her face. There is an alarming amount of blood coming out of Catherine mixed with everything else. Catherine reaches up, and flushes the toilet before lifting herself to sit on top of it

**"I didn't realize you are still sick."**

**"I'm getting better**." Sara watches over Catherine with concern. Catherine pushes herself up, and heads toward the door, but Sara blocks her way, and pulls her into a sopping wet hug. Sara feels the knot on her towel coming loose between her and Catherine; she decides if it falls she doesn't care anymore. _It might be torture to Catherine on the other hand to see what she isn't allowed to have. I wouldn't do that to her knowing her feelings._ Catherine not wanting to make anything awkward for Sara starts to pulls away.

**"Hold on a sec Cath."** Catherine flashes Sara a puzzled look, and smiles as she watches the brunette grab the knot in her towel which is about to fall to her ankles. After Sara fixes her towel she glance up at Catherine who has moved away, and her eyes lock on the blonde, but not her eyes. "**Good thing you weren't wearing white,"** Sara comments before turning her back to Catherine to get back in the shower. Catherine looks down slightly confused, her front is soaked, and her nipples are hard, which she knows as much as Sara she suspects is not from being cold. Catherine looks over her shoulder, and gets a glimpse of Sara's tight butt before she steps in the shower. As Catherine exists the bathroom she can feel her heart beating erratically in her chest as if it is about to come out its pounding so hard._I shouldn't be thinking like this Sara has made it clear she is not interested in a relationship right now, but I can't control it, and she probably now knows that too. Ugh_! Catherine crosses the room, and searches for some clean clothes. She knows she won't have time to get clean before the doctor comes, because baths always seem to take her a considerable amount of time longer than showers, but she is not allowed to shower, and someone has to be in the room while she bathes so that she doesn't over exert herself. Catherine is pulling her shirt over her head when Sara comes out of the bathroom looking refreshed. Catherine gives the brunette a small half smile, before passing her for her own turn in the bathroom. Catherine comes out of the bathroom, and discovers Sara sitting on he bed ordering them breakfast.

**"Okay thanks**..." Sara glances up at Catherine.** "Food should be here in ten minutes."**

**"Okay."**

**"How are you feeling?"**

**"Better. You?"**

**"I'm alright."**

**"You're lying."**

**"Prove it."**

**"You are on the verge of tears, and anyone who knows you can see through your smile. You are lying to me Sara Sidle."** Catherine throws her a smile, but also a wave of concern. Sara adverts her eyes from Catherine knowing the woman can see right through her, and there is no point in arguing with her.

The food arrives, and the two women eat in silence risking glances at each other when they think it is safe. Catherine looks up, and locks eyes with Sara for the fifth time, she wants to say something, but is afraid of saying too much. She finishes her breakfast and leans back up against the pillows hoping Sara will join her while they have a few minutes alone until the doctor comes. Sara turns her attention to Catherine trying to read the expression on her face. She really wants to curl up with Catherine in her arms, but only if she isn't pushing Catherine. Catherine notices Sara's gaze on her, and moves over to the left a little more hoping Sara will get the hint. The brunette flashes a small gap toothed smile at Catherine, and crawls up next to her in the bed. She wraps her arm around Catherine's shoulders, and pulls the blonde even closer. Catherine begins to rub her hand up, and down Sara's side, but has to stop as she feels herself becoming extremely wet, and notices her nipples are hard again. She doesn't fail to note that Sara's breathing has become faster, and her heart has started to pound harder next to Catherine's ear. When the door opens both women jump, and Sara almost falls face first off the bed trying to put distance between herself, and Catherine. The look on the doctor's face when he first observes the two is priceless in Catherine's opinion. Sara is sitting in the chair looking very disheveled, and Catherine is trying her hardest not to laugh at Sara's wild attempt to get off the bed. When the doctors back is turned to Sara she makes a face at Catherine which almost pushes the woman off the edge into a fit of laughter. **"Okay Ms. Willows lets have a look at your stomach first." **Catherine lifts her shirt so that her pale toned stomach is exposed. The doctor examines the stitches from her surgery, and then looks up at her.**"These look good lets take them out."** Catherine glances over at Sara with a slight hint of fear in her eyes. The brunette is sitting quietly in the shadows for silent support. When Catherine winces as the first stitch is being taken out Sara rushes to her side. Catherine is propped up on the pillows in bed, but there is just enough room for Sara to squeeze in next to Cath. When the doctor is done he directs his gaze toward the blonde to check on her, and waits for the two woman to adjust more so that they are comfortable. Catherine turns her head, and buries her face in Sara's hair, and neck, while Sara rubs Catherine's arm, and plants small kisses on her head. Sara holds Catherine tight until the doctor says, **"Ms. Willows I need to look at your stitches."**

**"Okay so do it."**

**"Ummm the ones in your, I don't wish to embarrass you, or make your friend uncomfortable, but the ones in your vagina Ms. Willow."** Sara's face goes white as she looks down at Catherine.

**"Do you want me to leave?"**

**"No."**

**"Okay, then I won't baby." **Sara turns around while Catherine removes her pants, and slips under the covers so Sara won't have to see anything. Sara returns to Catherine's side and focuses on her face, as the doctor examine's her.

**"Ms. Willows you can put your pants back on now I have to leave those ones in for about a week or two longer."**

**"Alright."** Sara turns again while Catherine puts her pants back on, and then returns to the bed pulling Catherine into her.

**"That was the best dive I've ever seen by the way."** Sara smirks at Catherine, and rolls her eyes.

**"I'm glad you enjoyed it." **Catherine snuggles into Sara admiring the way their bodies fit together perfectly.

**"Do you think I'm ever gonna get out of here?"**

**"Yeah, probably soon. You bored?"**

**"Hell yes!"**

**"Let's find out when you can leave then." **Sara grabs her cell phone from the stand next to them, and puts it on speaker phone. She then takes the card out out of her book she is using as a bookmark.

A pleasant sounding woman answers, **" Hello."**

**"Hey Meg it's Sara. How are you?"**

**"I'm pretty good, how are you? Are you feeling better?"**

**"Much thanks for asking. Listen I have a question I was hoping you might be able to help me with the answer."**

**"I can try my best."**

**"I'm sitting up here with Catherine, and we were wondering when the earliest is she can be released."**

**"Hold on let me look at her folder... Well with the progress she is making I would say a day or two."**

**"Is there anyway I could bribe you to make it a day."**

**"I don't think you need to Ms. Willows is doing quite well."**

**"Okay cool thanks Meg. I'll see you later during rounds."**

**" Okay, bye."** Sara hangs up the phone, and turns her attention to Catherine who is looking rather excited. She smiles at Catherine, and does the only thing she knows how to to express her happiness by pulling Catherine into her. **"Well I know for one thing I can't wait to get into a bigger bed."**

Catherine chuckles, **"I don't mind the closeness, but I'm looking forward to going from confined to a room to confined to a whole house, and spending time with Linzz. I'm going to send her and my mom back almost as soon as I get out of here she has missed enough school, and has vacation in a few weeks."**

**"So it will be just you, and me hmmm... I can live with that."** Sara gives Catherine a squeeze. Sara turns on the TV, and leaves it on House. Catherine not being a big TV fan picks up her book, but after a while has to set it back down, because she has been drawn into the show by House's rude, but hilarious comments. Sara has felt sad all day, but hasn't been able to let it out since this morning, and can't find a way to. She has worn herself out with the effort, and starts to nod off. Catherine knows she shouldn't but she adverts her attention fro the TV to Sara sleeping. She seems so peaceful and carefree, all of the emotions have left her face taking a couple of years off her face. Catherine prefers the awake slightly rougher Sara, but can't help notice her angel like appearance. _Wow! She is so beautiful. _Catherine kisses the brunette's forehead, before resting back on her shoulder, and turning her attention back to House.

* * *

TBC... 


	14. Chapter 14

Catherine stands next to Sara in the elevator, and the brunette notes that yet again she is not wearing the proper clothing, which is always a good start to leaving the hospital. Sara slips off her jacket, and wraps it around Catherine's shoulders. Catherine flashes Sara a small smile in response, and then puts the coat on the rest of the way. Catherine is bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet with itching anticipation to leave this place. She glances over at Sara who is observing her with an amused look on her face. The elevator door open, and Catherine grabs Sara's hand practically dragging the brunette behind her to reach the door before the doctors change their mind. Sara has Catherine wait in front of the hospital while she rushes to get the car, because the blonde has already started to shiver. Sara speeds up to the curb, and Catherine gets in, **"Jesus Sara you are going to kill somebody."**

**"That's okay at least you could get in the car, and be warm while I cover my tracks."** Catherine chuckles, and rolls her eyes at the brunette.

Sara picks up speed and is going about eighty on the interstate.**" So you want to go out to lunch, or something the four of us?"**

**"To tell you the truth I would really like to take a real bath first."**

**"Okay, I have to supervise you right? I'm telling you this is retarded you are completely capable of taking care of yourself...but after an hour lecture on how to take care of you until you heal I don't think I should disregard what was said just because of my personal opinion."**

**"Probably shouldn't."**

**"Yeah I guess. So anyway how do you want to celebrate your newborn freedom?"**

**"Ummmmm I don't know, lunch sounds good I guess, actually anything that isn't hospital food sounds good."**

**"I hear you there**." The rest of the car ride is silent. The women slyly take turns looking at each other through the corner of their eyes Sara pulls in in front of her house, and Lindsay is instantly at the front door. She runs to her mother, and gives her a bone crushing hug, but loosens her grip when her mom accidentally allows a small wince to slip from her lips.Sara kisses the young blonde on the forehead when it is her turn for a hug then leads Catherine into the house. The two women are greeted by Lilly at the door, and more hugs are exchanged. Sara glances back at Cath, and catches her eyes signaling to the blonde to follow. Sara leads Catherine up into her bedroom pointing out rooms along the way. The walls are a rich purple, and there is a king size bed against the back wall with black covers, and pillows. Ebony nightstands lie on either side of the bed. Everything in the room has a slightly antique appearance, and isn't exactly what Catherine would have pictured Sara's room looking like. **"Okay now that you have had your brief tour this is where you will be staying, Linzz and you mom are in the guest room, and I'll be sleeping on the couch."**

**"What now that we aren't in the hospital we can't share the same bed?"**

**"No... Cat I just thought you might want some space."**

**"No way Sara you are sleeping in here with me."**

**"Okay."** Catherine smiles at Sara, crossing the room to meet the brunette, and laces her arms around Sara's shoulders. Sara slides her hands across Catherine waist, and holds the blonde tight. She rests her head on top of Catherine's, and gently runs her fingers up, and down Cath's spine. Catherine tangles her fingers in Sara's hair, and rubs the back of the brunette's neck while placing a few light kisses on the tender spot of Sara's neck. Sara can feel her heart racing, her breathing becoming labored, and her nipples hardening. She starts to pull away so that things won't be uncomfortable for Cath, but the blonde holds her tighter. **"Do you want to start your bath?"** Sara whispers.

Catherine shakes her head, and whispers back, **"Just a few more minutes?"**She looks up at Sara a pleading expression on her face, and Sara nods tightening her hold on Catherine. Catherine lifts her head after five minutes, and Sara releases her.

**"You can get the bath ready, there are bubbles under the sink if you want them, call me when it's okay for me to come in."**

**"Okay."** Catherine crosses the room, and enters the bathroom to the right of Sara's bed. Sara walks over to her closet, and searches for a shirt she feels like wearing, and settles on a black long sleeve v-neck instead of the tank top she is wearing now. **"Sara!"**She crosses the room, and enters the bathroom closing the door behind her. Catherine is laying in the tub covered by bubbles, her hair is slicked back, and wet from where she already dunked her head in the water. Sara places the bag of bathroom stuff next to her, and tries to avoid looking at where she knows Catherine's naked body lies.

**"Do you want some fresh clothes?"**

**"Nah I'll just wear the ones I have on."**

**"Okay, do you mind if I change my shirt in here?"**

**"I'm lying in your tub only covered by bubbles, and you are asking me if I care if you change your shirt?"** Catherine flashes Sara a gorgeous smile, **"No I don't mind hun."** Sara walks over to the sink so that she can face the mirror, and her back is to Catherine. She lifts her tank top off over her head, and Catherine gets her first real look at Sara's back. It is pale, and toned with a long white scar running diagonally from her lower back to about her bra line at little lower. Catherine quietly gasps, and Sara looks over her shoulder at the blonde.

**"What?"**

**"It's nothing... ummmm is that scar on your back from..."**

**"No."**

**"What happened."**

**"It's nothing it happened when I was a kid."** Sara sighs, and places her hands on the sides of the sink, dropping her head. She glances over her shoulder again into Catherine's curious eyes**. "Before I tell you, you have to know you will learn a lot about me at once, and a lot of things will click, and make sense. When I tell you this there is no turning back Cat you either take me or leave me."**

**"Sweetie we are already past that point, and I'm not leaving." **Sara puts on her fresh shirt then crosses the room, and sits on the edge of the tub placing her feet in the warm water so that she is completely facing Catherine. Sara takes a deep breath her nerves are chewing away at her stomach, her pulse is ringing in her ears, and her hands have become cold. Catherine reaches up, and takes one of Sara's hands sensing the brunette's uneasiness. **"It's okay Sara, I'm here for you. You can tell me about it."** Catherine can sense something horrible is about to come from Sara, but she could never prepare herself fr what she is about to hear.

Sara opens her mouth to speak, and her voice comes out in little more than a whisper. **"When I was little there was a lot of abuse going on in my house. My mom, and dad used to beat me, and my brother occasionally, but I was the unexpected, and unwanted one. I got used to my mother telling me how worthless I was, and her pulling me out of bed to beat me after my father had finished slapping her around. She was looking for someone to blame, and who was better than the little brat who decided to come around unexpectedly. I would try to be my quietest not to disturb them, and give them a reason to give me another black eye; I would try my hardest in school to make them proud of me. While I got straight A's and no acknowledgment for my hard work, my brother got C's and D's and was praised by my parents. Then I was the no good know it all show off, and why couldn't I be more like my brother, why couldn't I be more normal. We had this sliding glass door that lead out onto the patio, and while my father did his daily routine of beating my mother one of the windows on it was broken. My mother shortly after came for me. I braced myself for the feeling of her fists against my body, and maybe a bat or a book. The slight chance of another broken bone, and the feeling of the table crushing into my side. I didn't however prepare myself for what would happen that night. My mom took me out into the hallway. There was glass scattered across the floor. She was a very pretty woman from what I remember, but she had blood streaming down her face from her forehead that night. She started to hit me harder, and harder all over releasing her anger. She slapped me so hard across the face that I lost my balance, and fell onto the broken window, and then out onto the patio. I remember the deep ripping of my skin like it was yesterday I had never felt a physical pain so bad until Natalie trapped me under that car. A trip to the hospital follow, I had gotten so used to the late night hospital trips, and that time wasn't any different the fake smiles, and concerns when every single person in that hospital failed to notice how often a small shy, girl came into that emergency room. The pain was endless, because no matter how many pain meds I was prescribed I never saw one of them for myself; I did however see many of them being eaten like candy by my mother." **Sara raises her head and glances at Catherine, tears are gathered in her eyes yet to fall as she struggles to be strong while she listens to Sara's past. Sara can feel her own tears trickling down her face, but picking up pace.

**"Jesus Christ Sara! What happened did you end up staying with your family until you were eighteen or did you manage to escape?" **Sara squeezes Catherine's hand as she plunges back into her memories for the woman.

**"About a week later my mom pulls me out of bed, and my brother is standing next to her. I figured that her beating was even worse tonight, or that my father I couldn't quite comprehend this at the time, but looking back my father had raped her again. That mean we would both be beaten, and most likely taken to the hospital afterward. My mom had bruises forming around her neck that night as she lead my brother, and me out into the living room. My father was passed out on the couch surrounded by beer bottles. I still remember the cast off, smell of iron that night, and clinging to the social security woman's hand who came to take me and my brother, as I watched the young cop puke his guts out. I'll never forget when my mom pushed me and my brother into the corner, a knife in one hand, as we were forced to silently watch as my mother killed my father." **Catherine has given up on fighting the tears, and they pour down her face.

**"Sara I..."**Catherine looks at her lost for words.

**"I've been racking my brain for advice to give you on how to cope with what you have gone through, but I have none, because the truth is I didn't handle it right myself. I buried myself in school, and then work until I started to burn out, at the same time I repeatedly tried striking up a relationship with my boss. I then became an alcoholic, and almost lost my job when I was pulled over for DUI, and was lucky they only called Grissom. From that point on I slowly began to self destruct, and continued to until I finally left Vegas to try to start over leaving everything, and everybody I loved, behind." **Sara breaks down, and starts to sob. She doesn't object when Catherine pulls her into the tub, and holds her close. She clings to Catherine her fingers digging into her back, but not enough to do damage. Catherine kisses her head, then forehead, cheek, and her lips, and Sara lets her. It only lasts for a few seconds, and is comforting; Sara blindly reaches for Catherine's lips again with her own, but Catherine doesn't allow her to find them, not wanting the brunette to make a mistake she will regret while she is vulnerable. Sara begins to gain control of herself again, but holds Catherine tight until the last of her tears have stopped. She looks into Catherine's clear blue orbs they are full with so many different emotions Sara doesn't know where to start to unravel them. She reaches up, and strokes Catherine's jaw line wanting nothing more than her lips to be back on Catherine's, but Sara can't bring herself to do it. Sara pulls away from Catherine, who won't let the contact between their bodies end, and holds Sara's hand. **"I know that will probably be extremely awkward for both of us not that it isn't already, but I will never be to lift myself out of this tub," **Sara's voice is hoarse, as she whispers to Catherine. She peels her sopping shirt away from her skin, then covers up to her neck in bubbles as she removes the rest of her clothing. Catherine takes Sara's hand again when she is done, but both women's minds are on the other's naked body, and a larger gap forms between them. Sara grabs the towel on the floor next to the tub, she turns so that Catherine won't see her front side, and stands up then wraps herself in the towel. She pulls another one off the shelf, and places it next to the tub for Catherine before leaving the room.--

Sara can feel Catherine's leg against hers under the table again, and is having a hard time concentrating on what Lindsay is talking about. Ever since this afternoon Catherine has been going out of her way to make physical contact with Sara. She isn't complaining she just feels like everyone can see what is going on right now, plus the fact that her nipples are starting to get hard again, and she doesn't want it to show. She glances over at Catherine quickly smiling at her in encouragement, and notes how the blonde has placed one arm on the table, and is leaning into it to block the view of her already hard nipples. Sara reaches behind her, and grabs her jacket putting it on to hide anything that might start to show. Catherine observes Sara's actions, and seems to understand what the brunette is doing so she moves her leg away. Lindsay is talking about a show she watched earlier while Lily watches the two women suspiciously. After dinner, and a movie the four women go to get ice cream. Sara is focusing on Catherine's hand on her leg as they are eat silently. She glances over at Cath, and smiles at the blonde. Catherine gives her a faint smile in return, but her blue orbs tell another story. They are filled to the rim with sadness, and worry. Sara reaches under the table, and places her hand on Catherine's capturing the blonde's attention. She directs her gaze toward Sara, and Sara gives her a questioning look, but Catherine light shakes her head, closing Sara out. Catherine decides this is the best of moments as any to tell Linzz about going home since no one else is talking**. "Linzz sweetie at the end of this week I'm sending you, and grandma home."**

**"But Mom you are going to be here still aren't you?"**

**"Yes, but listen to me you have missed too much school, and ave vacation in a few weeks if I'm not back to Vegas by then I will fly you back out."**

**"Fine**," Linzz grumble, but is in a visibly worse mood for the rest of the night.--

Sara wakes up to the alarm, Catherine is in her arms the blonde's arm is draped protectively over her stomach. Catherine can hear a faint buzzing, and opens her eyes. All of a sudden the actual sound of the alarm floods her ears, and she groans. She glances over at Sara who has looked over at her when she broke the silence, but quickly close her eyes again. Catherine lifts herself resting her head on her hand, she rubs Sara's side as she watches the brunette pull herself out of sleep. She has a dazed look on her face which is quite adorable, and it makes Catherine smile. Sara props herself up against the head rest, and peers down at Catherine through the fog that clouds her vision.Catherine sits up next to her, and rests her head on Sara's shoulder draping her arm across brunette's chest, and massaging Sara's other shoulder. **"Morning," **Catherine whispers.

Sara tucks Catherine's blonde locks behind her ear, and rests her hand on Catherine's cheek stroking the blonde's face with her thumb. **"Morning, you should go back to bed."**

**Nah I'm fine I have all the time in the world to sleep right now. How about I make coffee while you get in the shower?"**

**"Okay."** Catherine is the first to brave the cold that lies outside the covers, as she rushes into the bathroom. Sara can hear the toilet seat slam open, and the sound of the contents of Catherine's stomach coming back up. Sara gets out of bed, and knocks on the bathroom door, **"Catherine, are you alright?" **Her reply is the sound of Catherine being sick again, and Sara opens the door to rush to the blonde's side. She pulls Catherine's hair back, and kneels down next to the blonde stroking her back. Catherine finishes, and reaches up flushing the toilet. She sits on the floor, and runs her hand through her hair pushing it out of her face, before looking up at Sara, and quickly adverting her eyes not wanting to see the worry in the in those brown pools.

**"Sorry..."** Catherine says quietly. Sara starts to rub Catherine's upper arm.

**"Cat, are you positive this is a stomach bug? I thought you weren't getting sick anymore."**

**"Only once in a while; I talked to the doctors, and they said it should clear up soon I just have a weak immune system right now so the illness has spread out, because I can't fight it off."**

**"Okay, I'll take you're word for it." **Sara catches a glimpse of guilt on Catherine's face, before it is quickly erased. Catherine pushes herself up, and offers Sara a hand who gratefully takes it; her knees have started bothering her from long hours on the job. Catherine walks over to the sink, and brushes her teeth before leaving the room. She tip toes down the hall not wanting to wake anyone, passing the guest room she carefully shuts the door, and goes down to the kitchens, and begins her search for everything she needs.

Sara follows the smell of coffee into the kitchen where Catherine is sitting at the table with a book reading. Sara notices how Catherine has thrown her hair up in a pony tail, and smiles; she has always loved Catherine's hair up. Catherine notices the brunette enter the room, and gets up to make her a cup of coffee. **"I've got it Cat, please sit and relax."** Sara crosses the room to the coffee maker on the counter, and grabs the mug Catherine has left out for her. As she is pouring her coffee Catherine comes up behind her slipping her hands around Sara's waist, and resting her hear on the brunette's toned back. She still has her coffee in one hand, and is careful not to rest it on Sara's stomach, but doesn't stop it from allowing her to hold Sara's tight. Sara takes the coffee mug from Catherine's hand, and places it on the counter. She turns around in Catherine's arms and laces her arms around the blonde's neck trying to get a glimpse of her face. Sara kisses the top of Catherine's head, and starts to stroke her arm. Catherine buries her face even deeper into Sara's neck, her warm breath sending chills up, and down Sara's spine. Sara kisses the top of Catherine's head before turning back around to grab her coffee, and passes Catherine her's. **"Do you want to come in the living room with me?"**

**"Sure."** Catherine replies quietly; she is still refusing to look Sara in the eye. Catherine closely follows Sara into the living room. Her eyes sweeping over the maroon walls, brown leather couch, stuffed bookshelves, and fire place. **"This is nice."** Sara looks over her shoulder at Catherine, and smiles. She sits on the couch, and pats the spot next to her, as she observes Catherine taking in the room. Catherine looks at her before crossing the room, and sitting on Sara's lap instead. Sara wraps her arm around Catherine's back, and rubs her arm with one hand her coffee in the other. Catherine takes a sip of coffee her eyes grazing the bookshelves. Sara watches Catherine, and is forced to smile at the curiosity in the blonde's eyes. Sara remembers that look from when they worked cases together; it is what makes Catherine such an amazing investigator. Between the Sara's determination, and emotions, and Catherine's curiosity, devotion, and caring everyone knew they were the best team in the lab. Other partnering was good, but the two women were amazing no matter how much they didn't get along. Catherine glances at Sara who is watching her with a sad smile. "**What are you thinking about?"**

**"The look on your face."**

**"What do you mean?"**

**"You're curiosity Cat, you would always get this certain look on your face. I always thought it was cute, and it caused you to be determined. I miss working with you."**

**"Yeah me too we made a pretty good team didn't we."**

**"Yeah we did." **Sara is quietly taking in Catherine's face while she has the chance the sadness dancing across her face could never be hidden. Sara rest her head on Catherine's upper arm, and kisses her soft skin. Catherine runs her hand across Sara's jawline before tangling it in her hair, and stroking the back of her neck. Sara glances at the clock in the other room. Sighing she looks up at Catherine, **"I have to go."** A look of disappointment plays across Catherine's face, and she nods letting Sara up. Sara puts her coffee cup next tot he sink; it is still half full, but she will have to get some sludge from the break room at work. She is getting her coat on when she hears Catherine enter the room behind her. When she turns around, and Catherine pulls her into a hug, burring her face in Sara's hair. Sara holds her tight, and brushes her lips against Catherine's head. Catherine tightens her grip when she senses Sara getting ready to pull away. Sara places her hand under Catherine's face, and lifts the blonde's head so that their eyes lock. **"Are you okay baby? I can stay if you need me today."** She kisses Catherine's cheek, and returns her gaze to Catherine's.

Catherine shakes her head, and faintly says, **"You've missed enough work for me." **Sara pulls Catherine into her even more, and tangles her hand in Catherine's blonde locks, and kisses her head before releasing her.

**"If you need anything call me okay," **Sara says before reluctantly turning, and leaving for work.--

Sara starts to spray luminol on the walls, and floor of the two story house. There is sign of struggle, but also an obvious attempt to clean up. Her cell phone rings, and she answers**, "Sidle."**

**"Sara it's Linzz."**

**"Hey Linzz is everything alright?"**

**"Kindda."**

**" What do you mean kind of?"**

**"Well mom has either been wandering around the house aimlessly, or been out on the balcony in you room crying. She has been out there for about an half an hour, and neither grandma, or me can get her inside. She isn't wearing a jacket or shoes or anything to keep her warm except for a tee-shirt, and jeans. We might need your help."**

**"I'll be right there sweet-heart try to get your mom to put on a jacket."**

**"Okay**." Sara hangs up the phone, and begins to search for Beth to tell her she has to handle the scene on her own. She finds the young red head talking with the coroner.

**"Beth I have an emergency at home, and I need you to finish processing the scene if you need any help call in whoever is free."**

**"Okay Sara is everything alright?"**

**""Yeah, well I hope so."** Sara places her gloves in an evidence bag then rushes out of the house. She pulls into the driveway, and almost falls backward down the stairs as she races up to her room. Lily, and Linzz spot her, and come over shaking their heads. Lily is still holding a jacket, and Linzz a blanket, Sara motions for them to leave the room, and shut the door behind them. She walks out onto the balcony, and turns Catherine around, attempting to pull the woman into her, but Catherine fights. Sara grabs both her wrist to stop her moving, and Catherine glances up at Sara before collapsing in a wave of tears. Sara picks her up, her pants, and feet are soaked from the snow, and places Catherine in bed under the covers. Sara kicks off her shoes, and crawls into the bed next to her. She holds the weeping woman tight, and strokes her hair. Then she begins to place kisses on different parts of Catherine's face the memory of how comforting it was to her returning. She kisses Catherine on the lips holding the kiss slightly longer than Catherine had, but to Catherine it was just as effective. She kisses Sara's face knowing the brunette won't allow another connection of the lips, but searching for more comfort. Sara holds Catherine tight until her tears are gone and she has fallen asleep. She knew she shouldn't have left Catherine to go to work this when the blonde had been so clingy this morning, and the night before when they had all gone out to dinner, a movie, and dessert. She had assumed then that, that had to do with what she had told Catherine, that afternoon about her parents, but maybe there was more to it. Possibly Linzz, and Lily leaving tomorrow, Sara tries to convince herself that, that is it, but she has the feeling that it is something more. --

Catherine, and Sara are standing at the airport gate with Linzz, and Lily many hugs, and kisses are going around, as the hard departure nears. Sara hugs Linzz one last time before the teenager, and her grandmother turn to board the plane. The two woman wave from outside the gate. Sara can see the longing in Catherine's eyes to be with her daughter, and when she is positive Linzz, and Lily can't see she slips her arm around Catherine's waist for support. Catherine leans into her resting her head on the brunette's shoulder. Yesterday is still in the back of Sara's mind, and is pushing it's way forward as the two women leave the airport. Catherine has been looking extra pale today, and nods off on the car ride home leaving Sara time alone with her thoughts; the last place she wants to be.

* * *

TBC... 


	15. Chapter 15

Catherine sits behind Sara's desk, and admires her hard work. For the past three days she has emptied the boxes in Sara's office against the brunette's pleas for her to take it easy, and Sara's constantly checking up on her to make sure she is not over doing it. She is surrounded by over stuffed bookshelves, and Sara's office is in ways a mirror image of every room in her house. You cannot enter a room there without stumbling upon at least two books. Catherine glances at the last box in front of her that is the light things for the desk. She opens the box, and pulls out papers, and small odds, and ends. Catherine is in the process of filing papers when her cell phone rings. She looks down at the caller ID, and a wave of guilt floods over her as the name Grissom flashes across the screen. Catherine sits back behind Sara's desk takes a deep breath and answers. **"Hey Gil."**

"**Hi Catherine."** The voice on the other end isn't the one that belongs to the man she once knew. Grissom always quiet, and reserved holds a quirky, confident air about his speech. He knows almost everything it seems, but when he doesn't he asks. The voice that she hears now sounds tired, worn down, and defeated.

"**Ummm so how are you doing?"**

"**To tell you the truth lousy."**

"**What's going on?"**

"**I can't stand being without her Catherine I just wish I knew where she was…if she is okay."** Catherine opens the top drawer to Sara's desk to place in some odd items, and takes interest in a ebony box that has a spider in its web carved across the top. Carefully she lifts the lid, and smiles at the picture of her, and Sara she finds within. They both look happy, together which was rare. _I can't believe she kept this._

Sara walks into the room, and glances up to find Catherine entranced by something in her desk. She slips up behind Catherine, and drapes her arms around the blonde's neck. Catherine drops the picture back in the box, and looks up at Sara who is about to speak, at the same time she hears Gil say **"Catherine are you still there?"** Catherine quickly, and gently places her hand on Sara's mouth before she manages to make a sound.

"Yeah I'm here sorry. You know Sara is a fighter you have to trust she can take care of herself."

"**I know I should… it's just... I miss her so much."** Catherine can hear the tears in Grissom's voice. She can picture him in his darkened office; behind his desk so depressed he hasn't showered in days or eaten anything, yet he refuses to cry.

"**I know," **Catherine says lightly as if she is speaking to a child. In a way when it comes to emotional things she is. Grissom has always seemed to be emotionally handicapped, but whenever he did choose to open up he usually ended up getting hurt.

"**I keep wanting to go over to your house to talk to you, but you aren't there, and I have no one else to talk to Catherine. You are my only true friend, and I guess I need you right now."** Catherine is in awe; Grissom really is broken, he would never admit any of the things he is to her if he was in his right mind. **"It's not only the thing with Sara though we are so short handed here with you gone, and lately not only is Ecklie on my case, about when you are coming back, but so isn't the sheriff."**

"**I'll be back as soon, as I can the… Cole,"** Catherine can feel the fear tremble within her, **"case is next week then I should be able to get back by the following Monday. But I will need a ride from the airport."**

"**I'll pick you up, just send me the flight info."**

"**Okay, listen Gil," **Catherine observes as the color drains from Sara's face, as it finally registers who Catherine is talking to, **"I have to go I'm needed in the lab. Call me if you need anything okay?"**

"**Okay."**

"**Bye."**

"**Bye,"** Grissom says weakly before hanging up the phone. Catherine leans back in the chair, and sighs, running her fingers through her hair to push it out of her face. Catherine focuses her attention on Sara's blank expression. Sara senses Catherine's gaze, and pulls herself out of her mind, and meets Catherine's eyes with her own.

"The office looks nice."

"**I'm glad you like it,"** There is a hint of hesitance in Catherine's voice. Sara turns, and wanders out of the room hoping to find something to entertain her racing mind, and wounded heart.

Catherine waits for Sara to return, but after an hour passes she goes to find the brunette. She searches the different sections of the labs, and asks whomever she can if they have seen Sara, but they all shake their heads at her, and return to their work. Catherine tries the break room, but there is no sign of the brunette, and Catherine has no clue where to look having searched every room in the building that would make sense. She is thinking, and remembers the time she entered the bathroom at work, and found Warrick standing there trying to control himself. Catherine shrugs, _it doesn't really seem like Sara, but it is worth a try I guess._ Catherine goes to open the door to the bathroom, and finds it locked, _single person bathroom, errr how convenient for all these people._ Catherine knocks on the door, **"Sara?"** She hears the door unlock, and she slips in to find the brunette standing in front of the window peering out of it. Catherine crosses the room to Sara's side, and stands there silently waiting. Sara glances over at her, and quickly looks away. Catherine observes how red, and puffy her eyes are, and notes the discreet movement to wipe away more tears.

Sara opens her mouth then shuts it again it seems she is trying to find the right words, she finally says, **"That stubborn bastard always picks the worst times."** Catherine looks over at Sara in disbelief. Sara giggles at Catherine's wide eye expression, and slips her arms around the blonde's shoulder. Catherine's arm snakes around Sara's lower back, and she shifts her weight into Sara, resting her head against the brunette. **"So what are you going to do now that you have finished with my office, and you better not say my house, or I'll tie you to me so you will stop cleaning my things."**

"**I was thinking about staying at the house tomorrow." **Catherine can feel the hesitance radiating off of Sara. **"Please."**

"**Yeah sure, just be careful. Next Monday is too soon for you to be going back Cat."**

"**I don't have a choice I might loose my job if I don't go back soon, and Linzz needs me."**

"**I know it's just so soon." **Sara moves Catherine, and pulls her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. Catherine holds Sara, the thought of loosing her again beginning to gnaw away at Catherine's heart. Catherine holds Sara as tight as she can, her nails slightly dig into Sara's back, but her energy is starting to drain from emotion, and physical work so she relaxes, and enjoys being is Sara's arms.

"**I don't want to think about it right now,"** Catherine whispers.

"**Me either baby, me either."** Catherine, and Sara walk out of the bathroom twenty minutes later. Both miss the other's arms already, and they are trying their hardest not to laugh at the disapproving looks of those who observed them leaving the bathroom together holding hands. Sara smiles down at Catherine, and Catherine has to put more effort into holding in her laughter; the obvious force Sara is putting in is displayed on her face. Sara sits back down behind her desk, **"Ugh it's only four, and we are never going to get out of here. I have to go back into the lab to do some work, do you want to come with me I could used an extra set of eyes, and hands."**

"**Only if we don't have to go into the morgue for a decomp." **Sara chuckles at Catherine.

"**How does sorting through trash sound?"**

"**Oh so pleasant," **Catherine face is full of sarcasm. - -

Catherine finds a crumpled up phone number, not what she was looking for, but it might be useful.** "So are you sure that it is okay if I am helping you out."**

"**Yeah I already cleared it. What do you have there?"**

"**A phone number."**

"**I'm gonna make you call it. I always love to hear, and see the many faces of Catherine Willows. My personal favorite is still the one we were working the Holly Gribbs case."**

"**Ahh with the bling-bling."**

"**Yeah."**

"**I think I will skip the phone call this time."**

"**Awwww!"**

"**What was I supposed to be looking for again?"**

"**Anything that could be holding DNA samples."**

"**Oh whoops you mean like these cigarette butts."**

"**Yeah, you're amazing Cat!" **Sara runs out of the room with the bag of cigarettes before Catherine can reply. She sighs taking off her gloves, and bagging them she goes into Sara's office and collapses in the chair behind Sara's desk.

Sara enters the room, and finds Catherine with her head on the desk sleeping. Sara glances at the clock, _oops lost track of time, no wonder Catherine is tired it's nine o'clock. Shit I didn't mean to leave her for that long._ Sara moves next to Catherine, and pulls the hair away from Catherine's face, and kisses along the side of her forehead to her cheekbones, and then down to her jaw line. **"Mmmmm Sara,"** Catherine whispers. Sara still leaning over the blonde rubs her cheek. She feels Catherine's hand on her back as it slides down, and rest on her ass. Sara's pulse starts rushing at Catherine's light, unconscious sleepy touch. The blonde opens her eyes, and realizes where her hand it. She sits straight up, and pushes the chair back. Sara barely avoids a head collision, as she moves out of the way. Catherine looks white, and frail sitting there wide eyed. Sara hadn't realized how fragile she still really is. Catherine had gained a little weight, but not a considerable amount, and seemed to almost be back to her normal small size. It seems that was only an appearance, or Catherine had lost weight again which isn't good. **"Sara I'm sorry…I…"**

"**Cat it's okay you were sleeping."**

"**No it's not I shouldn't have…."**

"**Hey lets go home, I'll order take out, and we'll pick it up on the way."**

"**Okay." **Sara slowly approaches Catherine, and waits for Catherine to move into her arms. Catherine slowly links the connection between their bodies. She doesn't have much energy, and soon begins to shake with tiredness. Sara immediately makes her sit back down.

"**You overdid it Cath, I knew I shouldn't have let you unpack the boxes, or any of it. I wanted you to feel like you had some freedom to do what you want though, and to feel more independent again." **Catherine attempts to give Sara an appreciative smile, but she can only manage a half smile. Sara can see Catherine losing color by the minute. **"Shit!"** Sara places Catherine's arm around her waist, and has the blonde stand. Catherine leans into Sara for support as they walk down the hall, and into the parking lot. It is two degrees outside, and Catherine starts to shake even harder. Sara helps her into the car, and takes off her own jacket placing it over Catherine. Slamming the door she runs across to her side of the car, and gets in. Catherine examines the goose bumps on Sara's arms as the brunette leans over her way to crank the heat, and turn the vents on Catherine. Catherine tries to give Sara her jacket back, but she can barely lift it. Sara shakes her head, and takes her eyes off the road to wrap it tighter around the blonde. She keeps glancing over at Catherine to check on the blonde, and Catherine tries to give her reassuring looks, and tell Sara that she is fine, but the look in Catherine's eyes does not convince the brunette, and Catherine knows it is probably because she is trying to convince herself at the same time. Sara pulls out her phone, and calls domino's ordering a large cheese pizza, with cinnamon sticks. They say it will be delivered in thirty minutes, which gives Sara plenty of time to get to her house. Catherine can feel her eyelids starting to close against her will with the heaviness on top of them. Sara's voice is soothing even when there is worry in it. Her voice curls into the fog in Catherine's brain, and swirls around soothing the blonde, who finally gives into sleep.

Sara decides to attempt carrying Catherine into the house even though there is a tremendous amount of ice in her driveway. She stands outside Catherine's door for a minute shivering, and trying to figure out how she is going to maneuver the blonde out of the car, She opens the door unbuckling Catherine who chooses to shift her position, and almost falls out the door. Sara catches the blonde putting one arm under her neck, and the other where her knees bend. Sara is standing at the door trying to open it when the pizza guy pulls in. he rushes up not asking any questions at the weird situation in front of him, he takes Sara's keys opening the door for her. Sara places Catherine on the couch, covering her with a blanket. She goes back out front, and meets the pizza guy who passes her the pizza, and cinnamon sticks. Sara pays him, and tells him to keep the change, meaning he got about a forty five dollar tip, but she doesn't mind because he was so kind to her, and helped her out without questions. Sara makes herself a plate, and curls up in her chair to read.

Catherine hears a loud thump, and opens her eyes. She is on the floor of Sara's living room tangled in blankets, and drenched in a cold sweat. She watches Sara jump out of the chair, and rush to her side. Catherine's pulse is pounding in her ears, and she is having trouble breathing. Cole's face is still swimming in, and out of her vision. Sara has pulled her head into her lap, and Catherine can't make out what she is saying. She is too distracted by the weight pressing down on her chest constricting her breathing. The edges of the world around her are being consumed by blackness, and it creeps up trying to blind her. Sara's voice breaks through and rings in her head. The pressure slowly is receding from her chest, and she can see Sara's face again. Catherine is back in the living room. Her face is pouring with sweat, and tears. She has trouble not getting lost in Sara's dark orbs as they watch over her protectively. **"Are you okay baby?"** Catherine shakes her head, and allows Sara to pull her into her lap. Catherine curls up against Sara, and the brunette wraps her arms around the blonde firmly. She plants kisses on Catherine's head, forehead, and any place on her face that is not the blonde's lips that she can reach. Catherine is still shaking, and can feel her eyes closing already. Sara looks at her, and picks her up bringing her into the bedroom. She leaves, and comes back with a piece of pizza, which she hands to Catherine. **"You need to eat."** Catherine takes the pizza gratefully, and eats it as if she hasn't eaten in a week. **"Do you want another piece?"**

"**No sweetie I'm good. Are you going back into the living room?"**

"**I was going to go into my office why?"**

"**Could you stay with me for a little while?"**

"**Yeah of course."** Sara slips under the covers with Catherine, and moves so that they are face to face. Catherine takes Sara's hand in hers, and rests it on her chest. Sara smiles at the gorgeous blonde. **"You're so beautiful baby."**

Catherine's smile reaches her eyes, **"Not as beautiful as you sweet-heart." **Catherine's heart melts at Sara's gap toothed smile. Catherine rubs Sara's jaw line with her free hand, and tucks her head beneath Sara's neck. She closes her eyes, and kisses Sara's neck. She hears Sara take a sharp breath, and realizes her tongue is playing across of the sensitive parts of Sara's neck as she kisses the brunette. Catherine pulls away, and attempts to put distance between her and Sara. Sara wraps her arms tighter around Catherine forcing the blonde to stay. Sara wants to kiss Catherine, and slip her tongue in the blonde's mouth, but holds herself back. Sara kisses Catherine's forehead, and shuts her eyes as she tangles her fingers in Catherine's hair. Catherine feels sleep pressing on her eyes again, and she presses herself against Sara even more. Sara smells fruity, and the security of that smell clouds Catherine's mind as she doses off. Sara rubs the small of Catherine's back, enjoying the rhythm of her breathing. Catherine's warm breath raises Sara's heartbeat, and tickles her neck. _Shit I love her so much. I just can't bare to hurt her like I did to Gil. I obviously hurt him with the things Catherine was saying earlier._ Sara blocks off her mind, and buries her face in Catherine's hair. She repeatedly kisses the blonde's head until she closes her eyes, ad falls into a pleasant sleep. - -

Catherine's eyes follow Sara out of the room. It has been a quiet weekend, and Catherine isn't looking to the empty house tomorrow morning when Sara goes back to work. Sara is in the kitchen making coffee when she hears Catherine let out a loud wince in the other room. **"Catherine are you okay?" **Sara's nerves kick in when Catherine doesn't answer, but ease when she hears the blonde enter the room behind her.

"**Umm Sara do you think you could take me to the hospital?"**

"**Why?"** Sara says while she whips around to face Catherine. What she sees fills her with horror. **"Holy shit Cat sit down!"** Catherine's hands are covered in blood, and it is dripping out from between her legs, staining her jeans. The blonde's frail frame is shaking, and her face is distorted in pain. Catherine collapses in a chair as Sara rushes over to her. Sara takes her hand, **"What happened Cath? Did you rip your stitches?"**

Catherine shakes her head, and says through her teeth. **"I had those taken out on Thursday…I…I just…,"**Catherine manages to say through winces, **"I just lost the baby."**

* * *

TBC... 


	16. Chapter 16

The color that was left in Sara's face quickly drains at Catherine's last words. She lifts her head to meet Catherine's blue pools, which are filled with pain. **"There…there shouldn't be this much blood should there?"** The stain between Catherine's legs continues to become darker.

"**I...I'm not sure."** Catherine doubles over in pain clutching her waist. Sara pulls out her cell phone and dials 911.

"**911 what is the state of your emergency?"**

"**My friend just lost her baby, but there is so much blood…too much. Please I need an ambulance."**

"**What is your name?"**

"**Sara Sidle."**

"**Sara this is George."** The young man's tan, handsome face quickly flashes into her mind; she has been working with him a lot lately.

"**Oh thank God...There is so much blood."**

"**What is your friend's name?"**

"**Catherine Willows."**

"**Isn't that the other victim from the Cole case that survived?"**

"**Yeah, please…" **Sara looks at Catherine whose eyes are starting to close. The world is spinning around Catherine, and it is making her sick. **"Catherine stay with me!"** Catherine's eyes snap back open as she recognizes Sara's pleading voice.

"**She has recently sustained major injuries right?"**

"**Yeah ummm lets see there was internal bleeding, dehydration, external blood loss, and rape. You know a whole separate list of trauma comes with that."**

"**Boy do I. Okay Sara I'm sending an ambulance over to your place."**

"**What should I do?"**

"**Keep Catherine awake as long as you can, and maybe put a towel over where the blood is coming out."**

"**What will that do it's coming from inside…" "Catherine try to focus on me baby."**

"**I don't know what it will do there isn't really a way to stop that bleeding. They need to get the baby out now, or she might not stop bleeding. The ambulance should be there in a few more minutes. Will you be okay, or do you want me to stay on the line?"**

"**No I'll be fine, thanks George."**

"**No problem." **Sara hangs up the phone, and pulls Catherine down to the floor where they can be closer. Sara places Catherine so that she can lean against the cabinets. She takes the blonde's hand, which is gleaming with blood, and rests her forehead on Catherine's so that they are eye to eye. Sara rubs Catherine's face.

"**How are you holding in there baby?"**

"**Okay," **Catherine says in a weak voice. She looks into Sara's large brown orbs, and can feel the tears start to stream down her face. Sara moves her head so that she can looks at the blood. Catherine's pants have absorbed all they can, and the red liquid is now leaking onto the floor.

"**Oh shit, Cat baby…" **Sara returns her gaze to Catherine's eyes, tears swelling up in her own eyes. She can feel the fear tearing apart her stomach. Sara reaches up on the counter, and grabs the towel from next to the sink. Catherine unbuttons her pants, and looks up at Sara, who nods, and slips her pants, and underwear down. She places the towel between Catherine's legs. What she is seeing isn't registering in Sara's head, all she is thinking is _stop the bleeding._ Sara places pressure on the towel, her other hand on Catherine's smooth thigh. Sara keeps her eyes on Catherine. **"Cat you have to stay awake. Look at me baby talk to me."**

"**Make the pain stop, please Sara it hurts so much." **Catherine breaks down sobbing in pain; Sara puts her forehead back on Catherine's. Catherine reaches up, and strokes Sara's jaw trying to distract herself; Sara feels Catherine's blood smearing across her face from the blonde's hand, but ignores it. She can hear the ambulance coming down the street, then the EMTs are at the door.

"**We're in here!"** Sara yells; she removes the towel from between Catherine's legs, and is pulling the blonde's pants back on as first EMT come into the room carrying one end of the stretcher.

They lift Catherine onto the stretcher, **"Sara,"** Catherine whispers catching the brunette's attention. Sara looks down into Catherine's eyes, and is overwhelmed by grief at the sight of the pale woman. **"Don't leave me…please." **Sara takes Catherine's hand, and places it over the necklace, and ring around her neck.

"**I won't." **She leans over, and kisses Catherine's cheek. **"I'll be right behind you in my car alright."** Catherine nods, and closes her eyes.

While the EMTs load Catherine into the back of the ambulance Sara runs up to her room, and grabs Catherine some fresh clothes, before getting in her car, and turning on the lights following the ambulance to the hospital. - -

Sara is sitting in the waiting room her nerves on full drive. She is quiet, and introverted, all the color has left her face, and she impatiently waits for news on how Catherine is doing. She gets up, and walks over to the nurses' station for the fifth time. The nurse looks into the brunette sad brown eyes, and her heart breaks. She listens as the young brunette whispers, **"Catherine Willows."**

"**Nothing yet sweetheart I'm sorry."** She nods, and returns to her seat. Sara examines Catherine's dark red, dried blood on her hands, and can feel it crusted on her face as she changes expressions struggling not to breakdown. She takes out her phone, and considers calling Lily, and having her bring Linzz back out, but she can't bring herself to do it. She needs someone to talk to, but the only person she can talk to is in behind those two foreboding, swinging doors. She can't let anyone in Vegas know where she is, and run the risk of Grissom coming after her, or she would call one of the guys, and trust in them to comfort her. Sara doesn't know how long she has been sitting there when the nurse carefully approaches her, and rests her hand on Sara's shoulder. Sara jumps, and looks up at the woman, her eyes vulnerable, revealing her to the world.**" Your friend is in room five if you want to go see her now love."** Sara nods, and follows the nurse, she is shaking, and battling going into an anxiety attack.

Catherine lies weak, and frail beneath the hospital covers once again. She sighs, and directs her attention out of the window. The door opens; when she spots Sara she attempts to get out of bed, but the nurse commands her to stay where she is. **"You can get out of that bed when you are discharged in a couple of hours, hun."** The blonde nods an irritated look on her face..

"**Why are you letting her leave so early didn't you see all the blood she lost?"** Sara says from behind the woman, her voice is quiet yet commanding.

"We are confident that she should be fine now, just tired. Ms. Willows will need to take it easy, but there is really no need for her to stay any longer than a couple of hours."

"**All she does is take it easy don't you guys understand she has a life, and a daughter to attend to, but she can't do that until she is well enough to go back to Vegas."**

"**I don't make the rules hun."** The nurse leaves the room closing the door to give the two women privacy. Sara walks over to the Cath, and takes her hand. Catherine tries to look into Sara's eyes, but they are closed; she is taking deep breaths her hand is shaking in Catherine's. When Sara opens her eyes again there are tears in them; she is afraid to plunge into the depths of Catherine's clear blue eyes. A single tear trickles down the brunette's face as she places a light kiss on the blonde's forehead. Sara releases Catherine's hand, and goes into the bathroom. She watches the maroon water enter the drain. She looks into the mirror, and is shocked by what she sees. There is no color in her face, sad eyes stare back at her surrounded by dark circles. Blood is caked to the side of her face, and she wets her hand scrubbing it off with her fingers. She has lost weight, and her frame is even more delicate than usual. _Shit…I look like shit…I need a drink._ Sara sighs, and returns to Catherine's side. The blonde is examining her with tired, worried eyes. Sara climbs up into the bed, and Catherine moves over making room for the brunette. Sara gets under the covers; taking Catherine in her arms.

"**Shit baby…." **Sara says quietly. Catherine turns on her side, and moves up so she can be face to face with Sara. Sara copies the blonde's movement. **"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant Cat… I would have found a way to help you raise the baby. I would have moved back to Vegas if I had to."**

"**That's why Sara. I didn't want you giving up all you had for me."** Sara rubs Catherine's arm, and closes her eyes.

"**Baby…"** Sara whispers, **"right now you are all I have, yes I have a house, and a job, but those are material possessions they mean nothing to me, but you…you mean everything to me. You are by best friend, and you have a small piece of me that I can never have back."** Catherine smiles at Sara, but the brunette doesn't see it behind her eyelids.

"**We are in between, and that is the hardest place to be, one of the hardest places to loose the each other."** - -

Catherine changes in the bathroom as Sara waits for her on the bed so they can leave these white walls behind hopefully for good. Catherine opens the door, and leans against the frame. Sara has moved to the window and is frozen there, the setting sun throwing dancing rays across her face; lighting up her beauty. She is lost in thought, and the twinkle has returned to her eyes. She turns her head toward Catherine, and smiles at her. **"You ready to leave this place baby."**

"**Yeah."** Sara crosses the room, and they walk out together. She places her hand on the small of Catherine's back as they walk to the car. The bond between them even stronger than before.- -

Sara sighs, running her hand through her hair. She waits for Catherine before going inside. Catherine follows the brunette she can't help but check out Sara's ass, and she feels bad yet she is enjoying it immensely at the same time. She closes the door behind her, and follows Sara into the living room. Sara sits on the couch, and waits for Catherine to take her place on her lap. **"So what do you want to do?"**

"**Go dancing."**

"**Are you feeling up for that Cat?"**

"**I don't care what I'm feeling like I just need to; I need a release."**

"**Okay, we will go dancing tonight, but I'm making you dinner before we go, oh and you can't let me have any alcohol no matter how much I beg okay?"**

"**Alright."** Catherine catches Sara's eye and smiles. Sara sits for a while longer rubbing Catherine's cheek with her thumb.

"**I should go start dinner."** Catherine nods, and gets up leading the way into the kitchen. She pauses when she sees the dried red stain on the floor then grabs a rag from beneath the sink, and starts to scrub at the pool. Sara comes over, and takes the rag from her. **"I'll do this baby. I want you to go rest, watch TV or something until supper is ready. You shouldn't be doing any work right now."** Catherine rolls her eyes at Sara fed up with having to take it easy, and leaves the room.

Catherine is laying on the couch watching Scrubs when the delectable smell of dinner reaches her. She gets off the couch, and wanders into the kitchen, Sara is standing over the stove stirring what looks like Alfredo sauce. **"It smells good in here."** Sara glances over her shoulder smiling at Catherine, and returns her attention to what she is doing. The oven goes off, and Catherine watches Sara pull out garlic bread. She crosses the room, and slips her arms around the brunette's waist, and kisses her back. Sara places her free hand on top of Catherine's, which are linked together on her stomach.

"**Do you like broccoli?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**That's good."** Catherine chuckles, and releases Sara from her grip. She returns to the living room to finish watching Scrubs. Sara comes out carrying two plates of food, and hands them to Catherine, then leaves, and returns with two cans of Diet Coke. She takes her plate from Catherine in exchange for a drink. Catherine looks down longingly at the broccoli, and noodles in Alfredo with garlic bread. Catherine takes a bite, and is in awe, _I never pictured Sara the cooking type._ **"This is amazing Sara. You're a great cook."**

Sara looks over at the blonde, and smiles. **"This is pretty much the only thing I can cook."**

"**Well it's amazing."**

"**Thanks." **They finish dinner in silence with the occasional laugh at a joke on TV.

"We should probably get ready it takes an hour to get to the place I want to take you, and I don't know about you, but I want to take a shower."

"**Yeah me too."** - -

Catherine is waiting down on the couch for Sara who insisted the blonde shower first. She hears footsteps on the stairs, and goes to meet the brunette. She feels her jaw drop as she gets a glimpse of Sara. Sara chuckles at Catherine's wide-eyed expression, **"You look beautiful baby."** Catherine's hair is wavy, and falls perfectly around her face. Her shirt is a silky black with a shear red layer over it, and it ties around her neck. She is in tight dark blue jeans that hug her perfect curves.

Catherine flashes Sara a sexy smile daring her to come closer. **"Thanks honey. I'm not sure about me, but you… wow… you look gorgeous."** Sara has let her hair fall into its natural curls around her face. Catherine has always thought the hairstyle beautiful on the brunette. She too is wearing a shirt that ties around her neck it is silky, and red. She is in black jeans that show off her tight ass. **"Bright colors too, that's a change. I like it." **Sara shoots Catherine a smile she knows makes the blonde's heart melt.

"**You ready to go?"**

"**Yeah." - -**

Sara parks next to the semi familiar brick building. She has only been here a handful of times mostly in her college days on those rare occasions when she would go out with people. They enter into the techno beat, and Catherine drags Sara out onto the dance floor. Catherine starts to grind on Sara, and the brunette on her. Sara's heart is racing as Catherine butt rubs against her hips Sara grinds her hips right back on the blonde. Catherine turns, and looks up into Sara's eyes their hips rubbing together. It seems that the world consists of her, Catherine, and the music. A circle of guys have started to form around them, but their faces are blurred, as the two women are lost in each other. Someone taps on Sara's shoulder, and she turns her head to meet the eyes of a rather handsome man. **"Can I step in?"** Her yells in her ear. Catherine is close enough to catch what he says, and Sara looks at her, and she shrugs hesitantly. Sara moves out of the way, and starts grinding against the man behind her. The two women glance at each other locking eyes, and are staying close. Sara turns to check on Catherine, and sees her flinch as the guy she is dancing with grabs her ass. Sara abandons her partner, and takes Catherine's hand, the blonde turns her head, and gives Sara a grateful expression, as they move toward each other. The lights flash illuminating Sara's face; Catherine can feel her nipples hardening as their hips rub together. Catherine turns leaning even harder into Sara as she moves her butt into Sara's hips. Her arms are up in the air, she turns, and Sara lightly runs her hand up Catherine's arm, and link their fingers. Sara leans in, and Catherine meets her as their lips lock. Sara nibbles Catherine's bottom lip, and the blonde lets out an inaudible moan. Sara takes the opportunity to slip her tongue in the blonde's mouth, and deepen the kiss. Their hips continue to rube together, as they continue the connection between heir lips. Catherine places her free hand on Sara's ass, and squeezes it. She feels Sara moan into her mouth, and her heart races even faster. They pull away for air, and Catherine looks up at Sara beaming, the brunette's expression mirrors the blonde's. They begin to grind harder. Catherine turns, and teases Sara with her ass rubbing into Sara's hips. Sara places her hands on the blonde's lower stomach, she is getting wetter feeling Catherine's muscles move beneath her hands. Catherine turns her head, and glances up at Sara. Sara catches Catherine's lips again,, and Catherine sticks her tongue into Sara's throat. The brunette moans, as Catherine continues to explore Sara's mouth with her tongue. Catherine pulls away, and turns to face Sara. Sara rests her forehead on the blonde's, they continue to grinding their hips together, as they look into each other's eyes. Catherine is lost in the twinkle of Sara's brown orbs; she passionately kisses the brunette again. Lighter than before not trying to devour the brunette's mouth, but still leaving both women yearning for more. Sara notices Catherine's touches becoming lighter, and when the light flashes she is alarmed by how white the blonde is. She leans into Catherine's ear, **"Are you ready to go home?"** Catherine nods, as a sudden wave of tiredness washes over her. Catherine kisses Sara, then wraps her arm around Sara's back, and leans her head on the brunette's shoulder as they walk out.

Catherine observes Sara as a street light flashes across her face. She looks happier, and a twinkle has returned to her eyes that hasn't been seen in a long time. Catherine reaches over, and rests her hand on Sara's inner thigh. Sara places her hand on top of Catherines' slipping her fingers beneath the blonde's hand. She quickly glances over at Catherine and smiles at her; Catherine returns the smile with a small loving one of her own. Her energy has drained, and the blonde is exhausted. Sara stops at the red light, and unbuckles she leans over, and kisses Catherine, cupping her jaw, and slides her tongue into the blonde's mouth. Catherine quietly moans, the sound causes Sara to let out her own moan. Catherine smiles into the kiss, and is disappointed when it has to end. Sara reaches into the back seat, and pulls out a blanket.; unfolding it she covers Catherine. She buckles just as the light turns green. She watches Catherine out of the corner of her eye, the blonde's expression is sleepy, but happy. **"Close your eyes if you're tired baby. I won't leave you in here I'd miss your kisses too much."** Catherine giggles at Sara, and closes her eyes. - -

Catherine can feel a light pressure on her lips. She groans, and turn, but is stopped by a set belt. She faintly hears Sara, **"Cat baby come on lets go up to bed."** Catherine opens her eyes, and smiles at Sara who is leaning over her. She takes off the blanket, and is greeted by the bitter cold air. She groans, unbuckles, and runs to the door in the garage leading to the house. Sara quickly unlocks the door, and Catherine rushes in longing for the warm air. Sara comes up behind her, and wraps her arms around the blonde. She moves Catherine's soft locks of hair, and kisses the back of the blonde's neck. She lets go of Catherine, and follows the blonde upstairs. Catherine retreats to the bathroom, and Sara slips on a different more comfortable bra that she can sleep in. She knocks on the door, and Catherine opens it with a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. Sara follows her into the bathroom, and notes the bra strap coming up her back that want there before, and smiles. Sara and Catherine finish brushing their teeth, and go back into the other room. Sara sets her alarm, and pulls off her shirt, and pants. Catherine feels her jaw drop again, but quickly closes it. Sara doesn't miss the movement though, and glances down at her black lacy bra, and boy shorts. She crawls beneath the covers, and watches with anticipation as Catherine takes off her shirt and pants. She realizes how Catherine felt as her own jaw drops at the sight of Catherine's light blue, and black lacey bra, and thong. Catherine teasingly lifts an eyebrow at Sara, which clearly is asking _"Do you like what you see?" _As soon as Catherine is under the covers Sara is next to her on her side. Catherine turns on her own side to face Sara. The brunette kisses her lightly, and Catherine rests her hand on Sara's bare side. Sara pulls away, and strokes Catherine's face; Catherine starts the kiss this time she starts out lightly, but presses harder, and sticks her tongue into the back of Sara's throat. They separate for breath, and gaze into each other's eyes.

**"Sara I know it is kind of early, but…I love you."**

Sara takes Catherine in her arms; Catherine is worried by Sara's silence that she had said it too soon, until she hears Sara whisper in her ear **"I love you too baby."**

* * *

TBC... 


	17. Chapter 17

The alarm blares into the darkness, and Sara slams down on the snooze button. She opens her eyes, fog swims in her brain, but she can make out Catherine moaning her name. Sara lets out her own quiet moan as Catherine's hand slides down under her underwear, and begins to rub her. Sara clears the fog from her brain, and reaches over rubbing Catherine's arm. Catherine opens her eyes, and smiles at Sara. She looks down to where her hand is then returns her attention to Sara, and raises her eyebrow. She moves her fingers in just the right way, and Sara lets out a loud moan. Catherine's nipples harden, and she becomes wetter at the sound. The alarm screams again, Sara turns it off,; she kisses Catherine moaning into the blonde's lips as she moves her fingers again. Sara pulls back the covers, and Catherine groans, **"Do you have to go?"** She says in a pleading voice.

"**Oh baby trusts me I wish I didn't."** Catherine pulls the covers up around her.

"**Wake me back up when you get out of the shower okay?"**

"**Sure Cat."**

"**You won't wake me up will you?"**

"**No not if you're sleeping."**

"**At least give me a kiss before you go."**

"**Oh that you can count on."** Catherine smiles at Sara, and rolls over going back to sleep. Sara gets ready, and pours herself coffee before running back upstairs to say goodbye to Catherine. She sits next to the blonde, and admires her beauty. _She looks so peaceful; I don't want to disturb her. _Sara kisses Catherine lightly careful not to wake the blonde, and strokes her jaw line before leaving. - -

Catherine wakes up, the sun blinds her, and she shuts her eyes again. Moving her head she looks at the clock. _11:30 she never woke me up! I'll just have to go, and see her._ Catherine gets ready, discovering she doesn't have any clean shirts left she throws on one of Sara's, and runs out the door hoping to catch the brunette on her lunch break.

Catherine stands hiding against the wall waiting for Sara to walk in, when the brunette does Catherine closes the door, and Sara jumps whipping around. A look of relief spreads across her face, and she smiles at Catherine. Sara crosses the room and stands in front of Catherine who has backed into the door. Their lips are almost touching as Sara says, **" I was just thinking about coming to see you baby."**

"**I beat you to it. I wanted to see you even more than usual, because for some reason I didn't get my kiss this morning." **Catherine tilts her head to the side, keeping their lips close, a small smile on her face.

"**You looked so peaceful though."**

"**You looked so hot when you moaned this morning, and I wanted my kiss."** Sara smiles, and kisses Catherine slipping her tongue into the back of the blonde's throat. Sara pulls back, and rests her arm up against the door above Catherine's head, and takes in the sight of the blonde.

"**Isn't that my shirt?"**

"**Yeah I didn't have any shirts clean this morning sorry."**

"**No don't apologize you look sexy." **Catherine chuckles, and kisses Sara's neck. She's starts to make a trail with her tongue lightly nibbling on the brunette. Sara's scream burst out in her mind. Wide, fear filled, brunette eyes block her sight, and Catherine pulls away gasping. Sara looks down on the blonde. **"What's wrong baby?"** Catherine shakes her head, but her colorless appearance gives her away. Before Sara can take the blonde in her arms Catherine roughly catches the brunette's lips. She tangles her fingers in the Sara's soft hair with one hand the other is on the younger woman's neck for a second, before it begins to slide down. Sara rest her hand on Catherine's hip, and allows it to slide back then halfway down the blonde's pants. Sara can feel Catherine's thong string against her hand, and is about to moan when Catherine jumps at Sara's actions. Sara quickly rips herself away from Catherine. **"I'm… I'm sorry Cat, I shouldn't have," **Sara backs away giving the blonde her space.

"**No Sara it's not your fault I liked it. Come back!" **Sara shakes her head, and takes a seat in the chair behind her desk Catherine sits on Sara's lap, and takes her hand. **"I have to get over it sometime Sara."**

"**It is too soon Catherine I shouldn't have."**

"**But I want you, and I want you to touch me. I have to suck it up."**

"**No you don't I'll wait as long as I have to."**

Catherine is becoming more irritated by the second, and lets her words slip before thinking. **"Is that it Sara? Or was this only a one night thing for you, a weakness, a slip?"** Tears fill in her eyes the more she thinks about it the more it make sense to her.

"**Cat………" **Sara glances at her before adverting her eyes. Every feature on her face is distorted with hurt; the brunette turns her head away from Catherine, and shades her eyes with her hand. She takes a deep breath, rubs her chin, and returns her attention to Catherine, a small upset smirk visible on her face. **"How could you think that Catherine I love you," **Sara says faintly.

"**Sure you do, you love me until you can get into my pants, just like every other person I've been with!"** Catherine immediately knows she has gone too far as she hears the words slip from between her lips. It is almost as if she is outside herself listening to the voice of another. Her words have come out cold, and sharp. Sara rests her head against her chair, and closes her eyes. Tears start to stream out from under her lids, her lips are pursed together, and she swallows hard.

Catherine barely catches Sara's voice when she speaks, **"What do you need me to do Catherine, to prove to you I am not like everyone else?" **Sara opens her eyes, and hangs her head letting out a small sniffle. Catherine lifts Sara's head forcing the brunette to look into her eyes. She shakes her head, and brushes her lips against the brunette's.

"**I…I had no right to say that Sara. I'm sorry, you have been nothing, but loving toward me, and to accuse you of being so low was cruel. I don't need you to prove it to me. It was a frustrated slip up that caused too much damage. I'm so sorry."** Catherine whispers the last three words, and closes her eyes, hanging her own head.

Sara places her hand on Catherine's cheek, and peers up at the blonde with worried eyes. **"Are you really worried about that Cath? That I would leave you after I got into your pants**."

"**A little."** Sara can see the pain, and fear in Catherine's stormy blue eyes. Her own emotions are being reflected back at her. Sara has never felt this strongly about anyone including Gil, and she wonders if Catherine is having any of the same feelings about this.

"**Hey baby look at me."**

"**I am."**

"**No really look at me." **A questioning expression appears on Catherine's face, and she continues to look at Sara, she notes how vulnerable the brunette seems at the moment. Catherine has always seen Sara as strong, and independent. She never caved for anybody, and never gave up on what she believed in, or whom she believed in. She always provided a strong supporting hand when it was needed even if she sometimes came across as harsh. The woman Catherine is looking at is different, still silent and strong, but in a reserved way. The gorgeous brunette she is locking eyes with is allowing her true self to be seen, and doesn't hide behind the walls she once possessed the ones she could retreat behind any minute. **"I have never loved anyone as much as I love you Catherine. I would never try to "get into your pants" the way the term is implied. It is quick, fast, and over with. You could say I would make love to you, but whatever you want to call it I would want it to last. I love everything about you down to the smallest details. The way you move, the way you smell, every line of your body, even your quick temper," **Sara flashes Catherine a small smile. **"I would want to experience all of it, well hopefully I wouldn't be making you angry,"** The brunette screws up her face in a half wince, half unsure look. **"But I only want to experience it with you, with anyone else it would be without love, and I have learned that sex like that is pointless no matter how good it feels. I don't want you moving to fast though Cat I can wait. Even if for the rest of my life I could only hold you in my arms I wouldn't care I would be perfectly happy, because I love you, and I always will." **Catherine's lips crash into Sara's, they wrestle with their tongues for the spot in the back of the others throat. Struggling for breath they refuse to part their lips. Catherine moves to her knees, Sara's face cupped in her hands, and deepens the kiss. They both hear the door knob turn before the door starts to swing open. Catherine sits back down on Sara's lap. She glances at the brunette her lips are red, and swollen from kissing they stand out against her pale skin, and she looks like she has been caught in headlights with her eyes wide. Catherine has no doubt she looks about the same way. She winks at Sara, and turns her head flipping her hair, and plasters on a confident smile.

She is looking into Jeremy's young shocked face. **"Hi Jeremy."**

"**Umm hi Catherine I didn't realize you were here. Sorry if I interrupted something I didn't mean to." **Sara is amazed by Catherine's display of confidence as if nothing was going on, but she can tell the blonde is at least a little bit nervous by the way Catherine is discreetly shifting her weight back and forth on Sara's lap.

"I'll just go…" 

Sara finally completely registers the situation, and hopes she hasn't been acting too strange, or looking too guilty. **"No Jeremy stay. What is it that you needed?" **Catherine figuring this isn't the best time to be sitting on Sara's lap gets up, and perches on the edge of the brunette's desk.

"We ummm got a hit in AFIS on that smudge you lifted from the young Jane Doe's ankle. It was traced back to Pete Christians a registered sex offender. But ahh since Catherine is here I can remind you both the prelim is on Thursday afternoon, and if it goes through which I can say with certainty it is; they have already booked a spot in the courtroom for Friday afternoon. They want this done as soon as possible. You should know however that the death penalty is off the table. I know it is disappointing, but if it were on the table we would have had to move everything down to Vegas. Oh, and I need both of your testimonies by tomorrow so that the DA can go over things with you for a couple hours Wednesday, and Thursday morning so you are ready for Friday."

"**Well umm we could probably do that now,"** Sara says glancing at Catherine, **"Just ummm let us get some sludge from the break room, and maybe a snack."**

"**Okay I'll met you guys outside the sheriff's office in about thirty minutes."**

"**Alright." **Jeremy makes sure to close the door tightly on his way out.

Catherine sits back on Sara's lap, leaning into the younger woman, she lightly kisses the brunette's neck in between small fits of laughter. Sara wraps her arms around the small blonde, and kisses the side of her head. **"Yeah maybe we should ummm refrain, no matter how much I hate to say it from umm…yeah I don't want to stop maybe just take more precautions." **Catherine lift her head it is obvious she is trying her hardest not to burst out laughing.

"You think?" Catherine wraps her arms around Sara's neck, resting her forehead on the brunette's, making sure their lips are almost touching. "I love you," she whispers, "I'm so sorry for what I said." Sara weakly shakes her head attempting to reply, and inform the blonde she understands, but the mention of the topic has returned her to her sullen, mopey mood. Sara closes her eyes, and lightly kisses Catherine; she pulls away, and then returns to the blonde's lips again lightly. She slips her tongue in to explore Catherine's mouth. She releases the blonde's lips, and smiles opening her eyes to meet Catherine's. 

"So much for that talk about being careful."

"**Now this would be a lot less obvious though."**

"**Mmmmm." **Sara lightly bites Catherine's bottom lip, then runs she tongue across it. Catherine quietly whimpers, causing Sara to smile. **"Lets go get some coffee, or at least I'm pretty sure that sludge in the break room is coffee."**

"**Do we have enough time to run to a Dunken' Donuts, or something for fresh coffee."**

"Ummm I don't think so."

Catherine sighs, and shrugs her shoulders, **"Sludge will always do."** She brushes her lips against Sara's before getting off the brunette's lap.

Sara opens the door for Catherine, and they walk out into the hall side by side, being careful to keep a safe distance between them. They walk past a lab room, and both here someone shout, **"Sidle!"** Sara turns, a perplex look across her face, nobody has called her that since Vegas. She turns to face the lab tech. He is tall _probably six feet three inches_ Sara guesses comparing him to herself. He is African American, which is rather strange for New England not yet being a very diverse region. His hair is jet black, and short, it reminds Sara of the way Warrick had it when she first met him. _I think his name is John, but damn…I'm not quiet sure._ **"I've got something under the scope you have to see.! It's like nothing I've ever seen before, but you being from Vegas might not find it as exciting."**

"**Okay ummm hold on one sec." **He nods, flashes Catherine a smile in recognition of her presence, and gives them some privacy. **"I'll meet you in the break room okay baby."**

"**Okay,"** Catherine says shrugging, and walks of in the direction of the semi familiar room. She pours herself, and Sara a cup of coffee, and looks in the fridge relieved to see no experiments that wouldn't fit in the boss's fridge. She doubts Sara would do that to her employees after all of the trouble she gave Grissom for doing it, but you never know there could be another Grissom anywhere. Back in Vegas Sara had been the next Grissom, just instead of feeling too little she felt too much. Catherine's phone rings, and she glances at the clock before answering it.

"**Hello?"** Catherine takes a sip of her coffee after answering, and has to force herself not to spit it back out. She didn't realize how much Greg spoils them with his special stash leaving the extra in the pot for them, even if it is cold when they get it.

"Hey Mom!" 

"**Hey sweetheart, how is everything going, you know school, friends?"**

"**It's alright. How are you?"**

"**I'm doing pretty good, you don't have to worry Sara is taking amazing care of me."**

"**I had no doubt she wouldn't. It is obvious how much she cares about you; I mean even Grandma noticed it. You know that means it has to be out there."** Catherine laughs, her daughter is sound more like her every day, yet she isn't sure if that is a good thing, or not.

"So I have some good news for you."

"**What."**

"**I should be coming home next Monday." **Catherine is torn between guilt, happiness, and sorrow at the thought.

"**Oh thank God!"**

"**You sound happy about that."**

"**Oh ecstatic Grandma is driving me insane, all she does is nag" **Catherine chuckles _she is defiantly my daughter._ Catherine smiles at Sara as she walks through the door, and motions toward the second mug of coffee in front of her.

"Well that's how grandma is sweetie. Hey Sara just walked in do you want to talk to her?"

"**Yeah!"**

"**Alright I love you sweetie, **_**be good**_**, and I will talk to you later."**

"**I love you too Mom." **Catherine passes the phone to Sara, still smiling to herself about her daughter's words.

"**Hey sweetheart. How are you holding in there I hear your Grandma is getting on your nerves… Ugh…… Oh you bet I'm taking care of her the best I can…Well you know she's stubborn."** Catherine looks over at Sara, and raises her eyebrow. Sara flashes her an adorable gap toothed smile, and winks. **"Alright I'll let you get back to your show…I love you too Linzz…I'll talk to you soon okay…Bye."** Sara closes the phone, and passes it back to Catherine.

"I love catching bits of conversations, especially when you know you are the one being talked about."

Sara giggles, she reaches over, and putting her hand on top of Catherine's. **"You know I was just teasin you baby."**

"**Yeah," **Catherine replies sounding exasperated, but she winks at Sara to let the brunette in on her sarcastic joke. Catherine glances over at the clock, and groans. **"Five minutes we better get down there so we can get this over with."**

"**Will you be okay?"**

"**I guess, I have no choice really."**

" **I won't have much to say so I will be waiting for you when you're done?"**

" **So you're volunteering to go first?"**

"**I think they are giving us the courtesy of being interview at the same time in two different room, so it will hopefully be done faster."**

"**Hmmm how nice of them. You will be okay right?"**

"**Yeah of course, and just think afterward we get to got chill in the morgue with a dead person!"**

"**Oh I always love having something to look forward to. Decomp?"**

"**Nope, better child. Around thirteen, a Jane Doe."**

"**Ugh."** Sara gets up, and waits for Catherine to take care of her mug, She pulls the blonde into a hug. Catherine can feel her stomach turning, she has been avoiding the best she can reliving the horror she went through. Sara lightly kisses the side of Catherine's head.

"**Just a forewarning they will ask you about the baby, oh and the bite mark on my stomach…rough sex got out of hand a few days before I was abducted if you were wondering."** Catherine stares at Sara in disbelief. _She is willing to lie to the police for me!_

"Thanks."

"**For what?"** Sara says, smiling at the blonde.

* * *

TBC... thanx for being so patient, and all of your encouraging reviews 


	18. Chapter 18

Breathing shallow and labored, pulse throbbing in the ears, shaking, silence enveloping the senses Catherine hesitantly drags her feet down the hallway to the interrogation rooms; Sara by her side. Through the corner of her eye Sara observes as the small tint of color in Catherine's cheeks seeping out. Jeremy is waiting on a bench outside one of the doors talking to a young pretty blonde named Jessica. She had arrived at the lab a few weeks before Sara, and has major potential in her skills. Sara has worked with her a few times before; she is sweet, and shy. Jeremy lifts his head, and meets Sara's gaze. Standing Jessica mimics him. **"Sara you are going to be in here with me."** Sara nods, and walks over toward him.

"**Ms. Willows you are going to be in the sheriffs office with me, and a few other people,"** Jessica says quietly, and kindly. Catherine glances at her, but remains frozen. She watches Sara walking into the interrogation room. She doesn't want the brunette to leave. _I…I can't do this on my own._ Sara pauses, and turns her head peaking over her shoulder at Catherine. Her eyes meet Catherine's smoky blue ones; the blonde's face is full of fear, and longing. Sara drops her head, and walks into the interrogation room; Catherine's face the only thing on her mind.

"**Ms. Willows…." **Catherine glances at Jessica giving her a small smile, before returning her attention to the door. **"Ms. Willows they are waiting for us."** Catherine nods, her feet seem to be glued to the floor, she gathers the energy following Jessica down the hall. Everything around her is moving in slow motion, the noise of the commotion around her blocked from entering her head. The young blonde in front of her turns to her right, and opens a door holding it open for Catherine. She enters the room, two men are sitting behind the sheriff's desk, and there is a third chair for Jessica to join them in crowding around the small piece of furniture. Catherine takes her place, and tries to focus her attention on the people around her. One man that she assumes is the sheriff is in his late fifties, balding with salt and pepper hair. His face is round with a handle bar mustache, and he is slightly overweight. The man beside him looks slightly younger gray playing into his generally dark hair. He is very trim, proper, and rather handsome with crystal blue eyes. Catherine meets his eyes and he flashed a gorgeous smile at her, which she returns.

**"Hi Ms. Willow I'm Sheriff Hastings, and this is the lab supervisor Ethan Porter. I know you've already met Jessica,"** says the balding man.

"**Please call me Catherine."**

"**Okay Catherine before we get started would you like anything to drink? We have water, soda, coffee."** Catherine's mouth rather dry from nerves, and she is grateful that he is trying to make her comfortable.

"**Coffee would be nice please."** The lab supervisor gets up, and leaves the room. While they wait silence lingers over all of them.

"**So what do you think of all this snow?"** Jessica asks in an attempt at small talk.

**"It's pretty. You don't usually see snow back in Vegas. But when I lived in Montana we got loads of it."**

"**When did you live in Montana?"**

"**When I was a kid until I was sixteen then I got the hell out of there. I enjoyed the ranch, but I needed to be around more people."**

"**Understandable. I felt the same way when I was living up in the middle of nowhere. It was a very small town in New Hampshire with not many people around at all."** Catherine smiles at her as the door opens, and Ethan enters the room setting a styrofoam cup in front of Catherine.

"**Don't worry it's not the stuff from the break room."** Catherine lets out a small chuckle, and lifts the cup to her lips.

She sets the cup back down, and looks Ethan directly in the eyes, **"Thank you."**

"**It was no problem Ms. Willows…"**

"**Catherine."**

"**Catherine, it was no problem I want you to feel as comfortable as possible."**

The sheriff interjects, **"Catherine, I want to get this done as fast as possible so you can move on with your life."**

"**Thanks."**

"**Are you two ready to start?"** The sheriff asks Ethan, and Jessica. They both nod then three sets of eyes rest on Catherine.

**"We would like to start by you telling us what happened."** Catherine nods, and plunges back into the haunting scents, and images, as the events stream through her mind. She doesn't hear herself telling the story she is only surrounded by memory. - -

**"Can I go now?"** Sara is getting restless, she needs to get out of here, and find Catherine.

**"In a couple more minutes. I just have a few more questions for you."**

**"Hurry up Jeremy I have things to do,"** Sara's aggravation is starting to show. It flashes it's poisonous face then retreats before returning again to feed off the victim's response.

**"Okay."** Jeremy knows Sara means no harm, but he also can tell he shouldn't get on her bad side, because his boss seems to have a very bad temper.

**"You said the bite mark you sustained to your stomach happened prior to when you were kidnapped."**

**"That's right."**

**"It was fresh though when the nurses examined it in the hospital."**

**"It had reopened in a struggle."**

**"Are you sure?"**

**"You don't believe me?"**

**"No it's not that…it's…it's just what you're saying doesn't seem to fit. If you are trying to protect Catherine she won't be held accountable for her actions, she was being given a cocktail of drugs."**

**"What are you telling me Jeremy? Do you think I'm lying?"**

**"Not lying exactly."**

**" Listen I had to relax some way when Catherine was kidnapped, so I went to a bar and hooked up with some guy. We were having rough sex, and it got out of hand. That is what happened. Can I go _now_?"**

**"Yeah, sure."** Sara leaves the room mumbling under her breath.

Sara is pacing outside of the sheriff's office; _Catherine has been in there for over an hour. What the hell are they doing to her in there?_ - -

Catherine returns to the small room. She is shaking, as voices remain ringing in her head. She refuses to meet the gazes of anyone in the room, as they look at her in awe, and horror. The sheriff decides to break the heavy silence after five minutes, **"You have been through a great ordeal Catherine. It is amazing that you have made it through all of this without being extremely damaged. I thank you so much for taking the time to tell us what happened so we can nail the creep. Try to have a good night."** Catherine nods her head lightly enough that it is barely noticeable before leaving the room.

Catherine steps into the hall she has no color left I her face, her arms are crossed, and she is focusing on the floor not wanting to look at anyone, and reveal herself to them. Sara hears Catherine come out into the hall, and instantly turns making her way to the blonde. She stops half way there as a handsome older man follows Catherine out of the room.

**"Catherine."** She turns toward the man her shields up, and emotions hidden before gazing up at him. **"I was thinking that maybe I could show you around a little before you leave, if you wanted me to. I'll give you my card, my cell, and home phone are on the back."**

**"Ummm… thanks Ethan listen I would usually love to go out with you, but under the circumstances I don't think I will be able to take you up on that offer right now. Maybe some other time."**

**"Okay."** Catherine turns briefly catching Sara's eye before returning her attention to the floor. She waits until she can feel Sara beside her then she starts to walk in the direction of the morgue. Sara slides her hand onto the small of Catherine's back, and the blonde pulls away tears in her eyes. She stops and glances up at Sara, but afraid to make eye contact she gazes over the brunette's shoulder as she says while struggling to hold back the tears, **"I'll meet you in the morgue."** Catherine turns and locks herself in the familiar one-person bathroom. She hears Sara knock on the door pleading with Catherine to let her in. The fear, and worry in the brunette's voice is overwhelming, and Catherine breaks down. Catherine hears Sara walk away, but she doesn't regret her actions, and does not try to stop the brunette. The reality of what has happened to her has finally worked its way into her mind. Before she distracted herself with people, and it never seemed real. Now though it is ripping her apart the memories of the event replaying themselves over, and over. Catherine calms herself on the outside while in her head, heart, and every limb of her body chaos reigns over her. The touches, the smells, the images torturing her senses. Catherine summons the energy, and leaves the bathroom the world around her once again in slow motion.

The blonde enters through the steel double doors into the morgue. Sara observes the pale frail woman. Her blue eyes stormy, distracted, red, and puffy from tears. Sara has always loved how the shade of Catherine's eyes change with her mood it makes it easy to read the blonde if she does not put on a mask. However Sara is worried not only about Catherine's emotionally state which instantly has become very fragile, but her physical state draws concern. She at one point was looking healthy again, but that was with a baby inside of her. The blonde pushes herself, and does things that consume the calories from the little food she eats. She was small before, but healthy, and toned. Now Sara can't get the blonde to slow down long enough to heal. The ME too looks up at Catherine, and nods at the blonde before resuming her work on the external exam, and pointing out things to Sara. Catherine stands on the other side of the gurney, and focuses on what is being pointed out. Her mind keeps wandering, and she struggles to stay in the present. Sara can tell Catherine isn't completely there. All she wants to do is go over to the blonde and hold Catherine in her arms, but she knows the blonde needs to remain untouched right know. Plus Sara couldn't do that in front of Martha, the ME.

**"You see those bruises right there?"**

**"Yeah they look like finger marks. Were they here when the body was dropped off to you?"**

**"No it seems they are just beginning to appear."** Catherine whom remains silent has a better view of the injuries so she picks up the camera off the side table, and begins taking pictures.

**"What's that on her hand?"** The blonde says quietly. Both women cross to the other side of the body to get a better look.

**"I'm not sure, possibly faded ink it isn't on the surface. I'll send out a skin sample."** Catherine nods, and watches the ME return to the other side of the gurney. Sara remains behind her; the brunette is close, and she can feel Sara's warm breath on her neck as she leans over Catherine's shoulder to get a better look at the girl's hand. Catherine moves to the side to let Sara through, and the brunette flashes her a concerned look. Catherine takes pictures of the mark, and passes the camera to Martha so she can take full body shots. The phone rings and the ME leaves the room to answer it. Catherine crosses over to the other side of the table to get a different angle on the young girls body, and to escape Sara's overwhelming presence.

**"There are trace materials under her nails."** Sara says as she continues to scrape beneath the girls nails.** "Possible skin samples." **Catherine nods avoiding Sara's eyes. Martha re-enters the room deteriorating the awkward air in the room a small amount.

"**A match came back on the dental records the girls name is Susan Murphy. She is fourteen; lives out near New Haven. I have an address if you are planning to go out to talk to the parents**."

**"I'll call Conroy, and have him meet me there. Keep me updated on the internal exam,"** Sara says.

**"I can do that."**

**"Thanks."** Catherine follows the brunette out of the room staying a step behind her.** "Do you want to come with me?"**

**"I think I'll just go back to your house."**

**"I'll take you."**

**"No Sara it's fine I'll just take a cab."**

**"Don't be stubborn Cat I'll drop you off. I have to stop in my office, and call Conroy, and then we will go."**

**"Fine."** Catherine feels a mixture of relief, and disappointment. She loves Sara and needs her right now, but at the same time she needs to be alone. Sara takes a peek at Catherine through the corner of her eye as she waits for Conroy to pick up the phone. The blonde's face reveals how worn, and tired Catherine is even if she refuses to admit it. She wishes she could go home with Catherine, and take a nap under the warm covers with the blonde in her arms.

Catherine turns to look out the window, and moves closer to the door. Her heart is torn between breaking down in Sara's arms, and retreating into her own mind; her body forcing her to do the later. She can't clear her mind, can't rid herself of his smell. his touch, and his face. The cement walls again begin to consume Catherine dragging her back into the world of the past. She attempts to mentally shake them off pulling Sara's face from the back of her mind. The next thing she knows she is sitting in the parked car staring down at her lap. The light touch of Sara's eyes running over her body trying to take in Catherine's raw emotions brings Catherine back to reality. She quickly glances at Sara then opens the door. She is halfway to the door when she hears Sara calling her name. Catherine turns being careful to avoid Sara's eyes. **"Call me if you need anything baby."**

Catherine nods, and turns to go inside but turns to discover Sara watching her. She says just loud enough so Sara can hear, **"I...I love you Sara."** Sara reveals a small half smile to Catherine before rolling up the window, and driving away. She leaves Catherine hurt and lost to be consumed in the depths of her own mind.

* * *

TBC... _Sorry it took me so long I lost inspiration for a little while to keep going with the story, but I got it back, and I hope to be coming out with a few new chapters soon. I'm not quite sure where this is going so we will have to see lol. I also have made a couple of CSR videos and posted them on you tube in the time I couldn't bring myself to work on the story. Thank you for being patient with me, and for all of your wonderful reviews!_


	19. Chapter 19

_She still amazes. How she can look so put together on the outside even when she is falling apart on the inside. I just wish I knew what is going on in that mysterious mind of hers. _Sara carefully watches Catherine around the guard standing in front of her. He is supposed to make sure that the two women don't talk and so far he is doing an excellent job of that._ Not that it makes a difference_ Sara thinks her eyes never leaving Catherine. Blonde locks framing her face, and resting gracefully on her shoulders in a sleek suit Catherine Willows appears to be the image of perfection cool, and calm. _Well almost._ One thing gives her away to the brunette. Her stormy blue eyes are filled with sorrow, and confusion. Sara can tell she is not really in the room. Worry floods the brunette and she cannot escape her feelings. She knows for Catherine it must be ten times worse. The blonde has been introverted for the past few days. Only speaking when necessary, shying away from the lightest touches, and refusing comfort in the middle of the night when she wakes up in a cold sweat. Sara understands Catherine's actions with her own being similar for many years. Yet she refuses to accept the fact that Catherine must do this on her own. _I won't let her._

Catherine can feel Sara's brown pools boring holes into her, but she still refuses to return the gaze. At the moment she can't. She is caged inside her own mind with no means of escape. _"Moan you fucking bitch!" "Mmmmm yes love we are going to have so much fun…"_ Catherine can't control her breathing it is becoming shallower as his words ring louder in her head. She can smell the mixture of BO and alcohol as it overwhelms her senses. Everything is becoming fuzzy as the weight on her chest increases. She can feel the cement against her bare skin, and the chains around her wrists. Sara is screaming her name. Electricity is flowing through her body.

Sara jumps up and the guard stops her. **"Catherine, you need to breath. I'm right here with you baby. Breath!"** The guard turns his attention to the struggling blonde, and rushes to her side the brunette right behind him. Sara reaches the bench as Catherine looses consciousness from lack of oxygen. Catching the blonde Sara sits on the bench placing Catherine's head on her lap. She runs her fingers through Catherine's hair. Tears are streaming down the blonde's face soaking Sara's skirt.

"**What can I do to help Ma'am?"** The guards face mimics how Sara feels on the inside.

To her surprise her words come out calmly. **"She is having a panic attack, and I need to get her out of it before it becomes serious. Please would you give us a moment alone it might be easier."**

"**Sure I'll be here if you need me Miss."**

"**Thank you."** Sara focuses all of her attention back on Catherine who has regained consciousness, but has still not returned to the room. Sara can sense Catherine is dangerously close to passing out again. She leans over Catherine and lightly kisses her wet cheek. **"Catherine, baby you need to calm down. Listen to me. You are safe. I am right here. Try to slow your breathing."** Catherine doesn't respond to Sara's whispers. She rubs Catherine's jaw line, and kisses her sweat soaked forehead. **"Cat can you hear me? You need to calm down."** Sara knows she is pushing it, and she needs to get help, but she cannot bring herself to it quite yet.** " Catherine, baby, please!"** Sara looks at the guard who stands up.** "Please go get some help she isn't getting enough oxygen."** As he rushes into the courtroom Catherine looses consciousness again. **"Cat please…baby come back to me I'm right here!"**

Catherine can hear Sara's pleas clearly, but she cannot shake the fog outlined images from her mind. She tries to force them to the back of her brain, but her attempt fails. She can feel Sara's light kisses and wants to curl up in the brunette's arms. Suddenly the hallway outside the courtroom fills in around her. She is staring into Sara's panic stricken eyes. There are many people standing around her, and she notes the oxygen mask over her mouth. _Shit!_ Sara sighs in relief, and wipes the tears from Catherine's face. The blonde attempts to lift herself from Sara's lap, but is instructed to remain lying down for a few more minutes. Sara uses her shirt to wipe the sweat from Catherine's forehead, and neck. Catherine blindly reaches for Sara's hand but can't find it. Sara catches the motion, and intertwines their fingers. Catherine flinches at the touch, but does not pull away. Sara takes this as a good sigh but does not push the blonde further with more contact. Catherine can see her fear reflected in the brunette's eyes and guilt stirs within. She is finally allowed to sit up as she lifts herself the room starts to spin around her, but Catherine remains silent. She moves closer to Sara leaning into the brunette, and resting her head on the younger woman's shoulder. Catherine's mind is screaming at her to pull away, but at the same time is reminding her how much she longs for Sara's touch. First Catherine fears the brunette doesn't want her when Sara isn't completing the embrace. Slowly Sara wraps her arms around Catherine ready to remove them if needed. Catherine unintentionally lets out a breath she hadn't realized she's been holding, and expresses her need to Sara by pressing more weight into the brunette's body. As soon as the comfort starts it ends as Catherine allows a single thought to enter her mind. _What about the trial? _After that one gets through it opens a gateway for many more to race in. She glances up at Sara who is observing her nervously. **"What about court? Why is everyone out here they should be in the courtroom?"**

Sara places a finger on Catherine's lips silencing the blonde. **"Calm down baby. They took a recess when everyone rushed out her to help you. Your life is more important than some court date. You were out for quite a while, and gave us all a scare!"**

"**I'm sorry,"** Catherine says quietly.

"**It's not your fault Cat. You can't control your memories. You have no reason to be apologizing we are all just glad you are okay…I'm glad you're okay."** Catherine nods, and Sara decides this is the best time as any to bring up what is foremost on her mind. **"Listen hun. I don't think testifying is the best thing for you. The trial can do with out it; maybe we should just go back to my place."**

Catherine sits straight up knocking Sara's arms off from around her own. She looks the younger woman straight in the eyes something she hasn't purposefully done in a while. **"No Sara! I need to do this! I need to find a way to move on, and testifying is the first step. I'm taking the stand no matter what."**

Sara is shocked by Catherine's forcefulness. She thought the blonde would be more than willing to go home after today's events without ever seeing the inside of the courtroom. **"Okay Catherine. If that is what you want I will support your decision."**

"**It is what I want."**

"**Okay."** Sara flashes Catherine a smile trying to express her encouragement.

Both women are suddenly aware of the ten people standing around them listening intently. The judge is the first to try and dissolve the awkward silence. **"Well if you two have made up your minds the recess is over in thirty minutes. I suggest you go down to the cafeteria and get a snack. Of course as protocol a guard will have to accompany you to assure you aren't blending your testimonies."** Sara glances at Catherine who shrugs. The brunette turns her attention briefly back to he judge and nods at him. People begin to disperse in different directions until it is only Catherine, Sara, and the guard left in the hallway.

Catherine can feel herself shaking as she stands; she tries to hide it from Sara, but the brunette is too quick. She slips her arm around Catherine's waist to steady the blonde despite the small jump from Catherine. Sara knows that it is involuntary, but it still hurts her that Catherine reacts so negatively to her touch. _It's not her fault_ Sara keeps reminding herself. When Catherine attempts to pull away and walk on her own Sara tightens her grip. This action gets her an angry glare from the stubborn blonde.

They wander into the cafeteria, and automatically head toward the coffee machine before taking a seat at a relatively secluded table near a window. Catherine is grateful the guard is considerate enough to take a seat at the table behind them. **"Listen Sara I'm really sorry about the panic attack. I should have controlled myself better. I know you already are worrying enough about me, and I'm really sorry abo…"**

"**Like I already said you don't need to be apologizing Catherine. I've been where you are emotionally before and I understand. I only want you to be okay."**

"**I am okay…"** This only earns her a skeptical look from the brunette, **"…well almost."**

"**Catherine," **Sara whispers leaning toward the blonde, **"we both know you are far from okay."** Catherine focuses on a spot on the table trying to stall the tears she can feel rising. She lightly nods at Sara's comment, and curses herself when she flinches as Sara's hand slides over her own. Sara hesitates, and is about to remove her hand when Catherine tangles her fingers with Sara's. The blonde glances up, and flashes Sara a small smile. Catherine can sense that Sara too is lingering on the unspoken topics. Looking deep into the brown pools the two women agree that it can wait until they have more privacy.

"**So have you talked to Linzz lately?"** Sara asks as she glances at the clock. _Twenty minutes! What are we going to talk about? I'm not very social, and I usually leave the talking to Catherine, but it looks like I'm going to have to do the talking. I'll have to think of something. We never really have anything to talk about. Shit! Well here goes nothing._

"**A little more on AIM than on the phone."**

"**I've never pictured you as an AIM person."**

" **I'm not I got into it so that I can talk to Linzz while I'm at work."** Sara chuckles at the thought. **"I swear half the time she is talking to me from school. But who can blame her? Bonus Ecklie can't yell at me, because it looks like I am working."**

"**Hmmm I might do that it's a really good idea."**

"**Well if you do email me your screen name."**

"**Alright."**Catherine's heart melts at the sight of the wide adorable gap toothed smile Sara is giving her. _I wish I could let her know how I feel._

"**So how is the case coming along with the teenage girl?"**

"**I am so close to closing it, but I'm missing something."**

"**I figured since you haven't been getting home before twelve. I would tell you that's pretty good except you are the Day Shift Supervisor."**

"**Sorry about that."**

"**Sara sweetie it's fine. I know how important your work is to you."**

"**To tell you the truth I've been wanting to come home earlier, but you seemed like you needed time alone."** Catherine hangs her head, and shakes off Sara's hand when she tries to caress the blonde's face.

"**So are you going back to work after this?"**

"**I don't really have a choice."**

Catherine nods, **"I know."**

"**I managed to get Monday off so I can take you to the airport. As far as Ethan is concerned I'm technically working."**

"**He seems like a nice guy."**

"**He is. You know I would really like it if you could come to the lab with me. I mean you don't have to, or you could hang out in my office if you want."**

"**Sure why not," **Catherine says shrugging, **"It's getting a little lonely without anyone around your place."** She looks up at the brunette giving her a small half smile. Sara returns the gesture by squeezing Catherine's hand. Sara glances at the clock, _well that was easier than I thought it would be._

"**Ummm we should probably get back to the courtroom."**

"**Alright." **Catherine turns to the guard who is absorbed in a hunting magazine. **"Are you ready to go?"**

"**Yes Ma'am."**

Sara notices the abrupt change in Catherine's demeanor. She can tell the blonde is struggling to hide it for m her. **"Cat."**

"**Yeah?"** Catherine moves her distracted eyes until they land on Sara.

"**You can do this."** Catherine smiles at the brunette and leans into her slender frame, Sara wraps her arms around the older woman. She tightens her grip when Catherine shivers under her arms. **"After this you can begin to move on. You can do this, and I will be right here for you when it is over."** Catherine sighs and pulls out of Sara's embrace. Sara observes Catherine as she runs her hand through her silky blonde hair. She rests her hand on the blonde's lower back, and rubs small circles with her thumb. Both women return to their places on separate benches the guard in between them. The silence is heavy; Sara is worried about Catherine whom has once again turned inside herself.

Catherine takes a deep breathes she thinks she might be sick. She can hear her pulse pounding in her ears, and sweat is gathering on her palms and upper lip. _Calm down the last thing you need is another panic attack! Calm down Catherine! You don't need this right now. Sara doesn't need this right now. _The door opens and a rather muscular looking bailiff appears.

"**Catherine Willows!"** Catherine stands the motion leaving her light headed. She moves toward the door stopping to glance over at Sara. The brunette gives her an encouraging smile. Sara wishes she could hug Catherine the blonde looks so lost and helpless. Catherine runs her fingers gracefully over her necklace before disappearing behind the double doors.

* * *

TBC... 

_Originally I wanted to have the trail in this chapter but my ideas ended up forming into something different so i made it into two chapters. The next chapter is finish i just have to type it so hopefully it will be out soon. Thanks for being so patient, and for all your amzing reviews!_


	20. Chapter 20

All eyes are on the fragile blonde as she walks toward the witness stand, but to Catherine there is only one person in the room, and his stone cold eyes have just locked with hers. She self-consciously crosses her arms over her chest. Sitting she turns to take in the jury sending each member an individual smile. The DA approaches the bench flashing Catherine a small smile before turning to the jury whom are waiting expectantly. **"Today you have only heard about the victims that have not survived. You are here to judge what justice is for people that you can no longer connect with. You have seen photographs of the torture Cole has inflicted upon woman. Now here today you will hear two stories. From the lips of Cole's only surviving victims. Two women. Two friends. Two fighters. On the stand right now is Catherine Willows from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. She came here from Vegas to connect cases. At the time little was known about the killer, and since then her whole life has been turned upside down."**

He turns to Catherine before continuing, **"Now Ms. Willows before we begin I must make sure you are aware of a few things that will occur during the trial."** Catherine nods signaling for him to go on.**" You are aware photographs of your injuries will be displayed on the screen behind you, are you not?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Good. Am I correct in assuming that you know the line of questioning is not limited to the events of your kidnapping?"**

Catherine takes a deep breath, **"Yes."**

"**Last of all you are aware the jurors are allowed to ask questions when they feel necessary since the trial is not determining the defendants innocence."**

"**Yes."**

"**Okay. I truly hope this is the last time you will be asked to do this. Will you please tell us what happened from when you were kidnapped to when you and Ms. Sidle escaped in as much detail as possible?"**

"**I had stepped outside after looking over the most recent crime scene. I wanted to enjoy the silence of the fresh snow before Sara came to pick me up…"** The world around Catherine is slowly blanketed by the own images of her mind. She keeps Sara's face close to the surface of her recollections as the now familiar four cement walls approach her.

Pacing Sara glances through the window once again at the gorgeous blonde. She smiles as Catherine unknowingly touches the ring on her necklace again. _She isn't there she is somewhere in her mind. It is not safe for her to be there right now. You can do this baby. I know you can, keep yourself calm._ Sara stops in front of the door when Catherine finishes talking. The DA says something, and everyone turns to the screen behind Catherine including the blonde. Sara stumbles backward and the guard catches her. What she sees on the screen presses weight on her chest constricting her breathing. Catherine lying bruised, and broken against white sheets flashes on the screen at different angles. Warm tears trickle down Sara's pale cheeks as she moves back up to the door. Brown fuses with blue. Sara places her hand against the pain of glass, and Catherine wraps her slender fingers around her necklace. An encouraging smile appears on the older woman's face before she returns to the proceedings in the courtroom.

"Ms. Willows I have heard from a rather reliable source that you were sick during your stay at the hospital is that correct?"

"**Yes."**

"**Did the doctors explain to you what was wrong?"**

"**Yes. They took a blood test while I was sleeping."**

"**Wow! You managed to sleep through that?"**

"**Well I had been in the bathroom all day throwing up, and I wasn't anywhere close to recovery, so yeah."**

"**Are you now?"**

"**Am I what?"**

"**Close to recovery?"**

"**Closer than I was before."**

"**Alright,"** the DA smiles in Catherine's direction, **"I'm sorry I caused such a distraction from the original line of questioning. One more thing though, because for some reason I feel this is important for the jury to know. Who was with you in the hospital that day?"**

"**My mom for most of the day in the bathroom with me. My daughter Lindsay was in the other room watching TV. I made her stay out there or she would have been by my side. Sara came back from work around seven thirty, and took over ordering a doctor come immediately, and sent my mom out of the room to rest."**

"**Okay. So what did the doctor's say was the problem."**

"**He said it was morning sickness, and that I was pregnant."**

"**Was pregnant don't you mean are pregnant?"**

"**No, **_**was**_**, I had a miscarriage."**

"**Oh. I'm so sorr…"**

Cole abruptly stands knocking his chair over. **"YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU KILLED MY KID, YOU KILLED IT!"**

Heads snap around as a large crashing noise comes from the back of the room. The doors have been slammed open, and a brunette is being dragged back out of the room. **"LET GO OF ME. I NEED TO BE WITH CATHERINE! LET. GO. OF. ME! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I NEED TO BE WITH CAT! Cat, Baby don't listen to him. You know it's not true. It's not your fau…"**

"**ORDER! Order in the court!"** Eyes linger on the brunette hovering outside the window, the man still standing in a furious rage, or on the expression painfully displayed on Catherine's face. **"I demand order. Mr. Cole sit down!"** Turning to the bailiff the judge nods with his head toward the door. **"Please make sure they have things with Ms. Sidle under contr…"**

"**I need to bee with Catherine! I don't give a damn she needs me. Let go of me!"**

"**I'll rephrase my statement. Please go get things under control with Ms. Sidle."**

"**Ah my love you sure have her wrapped around your finger don't you? She doesn't understand how precious you really are, but I do. Do you remember the pleasure? She enjoyed watching didn't she?"** Cole's voice is quiet yet harsh causing a shiver of fear to run up Catherine's spine.

"**Mr. Cole I said SIT DOWN!"**

"**That's not true."** Catherine's words are barely audible, but her tone is sharp.

"**I said order NOW!"** All eyes wander back to Catherine. **"Thank you. Now do you have any more questions for Ms. Willows?"**

"**I don't Your Honor, but the jury may." **Both men focus on the twelve people watching the blonde.

"**I have one," **Says a young red head in the back. Catherine gives the younger woman a wide smile, and her full attention.** "I heard that you had a panic attack in the hallway earlier, and that's why we took a recess. People had to rush out to attend to you, and call an ambulance is that true?"**

Catherine can feel the red burning up into her face. _I don't really see what this has to do with things but…_ **"I don't see what this…."** The DA begins before he is cut off by Catherine.

"No it is okay I will answer the question…. … Yes I did."

"**I'm sorry to embarrass you Ms. Willows. I was only wondering if you were okay."** Catherine's smile turns from courteous to kind and appreciative.

"**Yes I am. Thank you for asking… …um?"**

"**Jen."**

"**Thanks for asking Jen."**

"**Ms. Willows…"** The judge interrupts. **" You can stay for the rest of the trial as long as you try to refrain from out bursting like Ms. Sidle."**

"**Okay."**

"**Thank you for your time."**

"**Your welcome…it was no problem."** Catherine takes a seat behind the DA. She is aware of Cole's eyes rapidly running up and down her body. She feels naked, and folds her arms over her chest. Her focus is distracted as Sara walks toward the stand. In a skirt that stops right above the knee, with heels, and a black v-neck she looks professional, and sexy. Catherine's breath catches as she admires the deep lines that form in Sara's smooth skin as she walks. She rips her eyes away from Sara's legs only to be distracted by how the brunette's hair falls around her face in a natural curl. Sara's shirt tightens around her breasts, and she is obviously wearing a bra that complements her cleavage. _She has such perfect breasts. Mmmmm I want to rip that shirt off and suck her hard nipples… Whoa! Shit, shit, shit. Don't think that! You can't start going down that path now. No way Catherine! Stop while you are ahead. Don't start again. You are vulnerable, and upset that is okay, but you do not need sex to take that away. You don't need that escape. Sara is at risk now; you don't want to hurt her do you? She is not some random person that you picked up at a bar on your night off. You can't even have her touch you without jumping or flinching. How do you expect to have sex? Plus one moment you want her and the next you can't get away fast enough. This is not worth it. You love Sara! I love Sara. I love Sara. I'd love to have my way with Sara right here, right now. NO! Wrong thought. I love Sara._ Catherine is drawn away from her internal conflict as the DA clears his throat to speak

"**Seven years ago Holly Gribbs was shot at a crime scene, it was her first day on the job. Sara Sidle was asked to leave San Francisco to investigate CSI Warrick Brown. On the day she arrived she met Catherine Willows, and a friendship formed. Now I'm not saying I know everything. Their friendship might have been slow in starting, or it could have been completely invisible…"** Catherine, and Sara lock eyes with small smiles on their faces at the DA's words. They remember all too well the first time they met, and it was far from happy. That was Catherine's fault, and she knows it.** "They worked along side each other every day for seven years. They created a rare bond that cannot be broken. One that involves trusting the other with their life every day. These two have had their ups, and their downs. Recently they were reunited when Ms. Willows came in search of a killer. You have already seen Ms. Sidle today, and hopefully it was obvious to you how much she cares for Catherine, and how protective she is of her friend. Ms. Sidle too was abducted during the search for Catherine. **

"**Now again before we begin I must clarify that Sara is aware of what will happen here today. You are indeed aware there will be a few photos of your injuries on the screen behind you?"**

"**Yes."**

"**You have also been informed the jury is allowed to ask questions when they feel appropriate am I correct?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Last of all you know that not all questions will pertain to the isolated event?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Okay we will again start with what happened. If you would please Ms. Sidle tells us what happen from when you were abducted to when you woke up in the hospital, and talked with the nurse; with detail?"**

"Crime scene images were racing through my mind as I approached the car. I could hear Catherine's voice, her laughter, and I could see the look of awe that was on her face hours before she was abducted. My senses were clouded with grief, and I should have called for back up. I didn't. My mind was swirling with the times I had enjoyed with Catherine, and what I had done wrong. I was still consumed in these thoughts as I reached the car. I was putting on a pair of latex gloves when I felt a blinding pain surge through every muscle in my body, and I passed out. I woke up in a small dark room. I could hear a man's voice in the distance. I knew whomever that voice belonged to was with Catherine. I struggled to escape, but the door had been barricaded from the outside. Otherwise I was surrounded by cement walls…"

Catherine listens with as much interest, and horror as the jurors. She, and Sara had never mentioned what had happened during they time they spent helpless, and captured with each other. She observes they expressions on the jury members faces as they listen to Sara recall how she had watched Catherine being tortured, but how she could not do a single thing about it except watch in horror, and rage. By the end of Sara's memories like when Catherine took the stand the only dry eyes in the room belonged to the defense, and his lawyer. After people are given a moment to recover Catherine feels a lump rising in her throat while she stares at Sara against the hospital sheets. The brunette almost blends in she is so pale. Sara's frame is slightly more fragile than usual, and dark black bruises stand out on her face, and arms. A close up on one of her arms reveals the needle marks from when Cole injected a cocktail of drugs into the younger woman's system. Catherine's eyes travel to the Sara in the room. The brunette's eyes are already resting on Catherine. Love, and reassurance sparkles in Sara's dark pools. It fills Catherine with warmth, and relief washes over her. _Sara will have her arms around me soon. Okay not the worst thought. Good Catherine keep the thoughts PG._

"**Ms. Sidle you were there when Ms. Willows lost her baby were you not?"**

"**Yes I was."**

"**In the earlier commotion Mr. Cole stated that Ms. Willows killed his baby. Are you aware of anything Ms. Willows did so that she would not have to carry her rapist's baby? For clarification purposes."**

"**No, she didn't do anything. As far as my knowledge goes she was planning on keeping it."**

"**Was it scary when she had the miscarriage?"** Jen asks.

"**Yeah it was really scary. There was so much blood, and I couldn't stop it. I was…I…I was afraid I was going to lose Catherine."**

"Oh wow," Jen says fear playing in the worry lines of her face. 

"She really does have you wrapped tightly doesn't she love? I told you she loved you, but you just looked at me like I was crazy. Ah yes I still remember the look on your face as I gave her pleasure. Deep down you know you liked it. You were aroused by the sight of the her blood trickling out from under the cold steel…"

"**SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BASTARD! I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO KI…"**

"**MS. SIDLE, please stop before you get yourself in trouble,"** the judge says sincerely before turning to Cole. **"Mr. Cole if you open your mouth one more time to provoke or harass these women in any way I will…"**

"**What will you do sir? Send me back to the big, bad jail?"** Cole comments sneering.

"**No I will personally make sure this trial is moved down to Vegas where the death penalty will be on the table. If that isn't bad enough think about four men just as determined if not more to take away you life as the people are here for what you did to their family."** The color in Cole's cheeks dissolves, and he remains silent.

The DA looks around, **"I think that is enough questioning for Ms. Sidle."**

"**I agree,"** replies the judge.

Sara takes her place next to Catherine. The jury stops to watch the interaction between the women. Sara directs her eyes toward the blonde and Catherine moves closer to Sara not breaking eye contact. It is obvious the brunette is searching for something in those blue orbs. Catherine nods at her, and Sara wraps her arm around Catherine's shoulders. The blonde leans into the brunette shutting her eyes. The jury proceeds into the deliberation room.

After ten minutes the jury files back into the room followed by the judge.

"Have you decided on a sentence?" 

"**We have Your Honor."** A middle-aged man whom Sara, and Catherine assume to be the Head Juror says this.

"Please state your punishment."

"**Your Honor we feel the defendant deserves life without the possibility of parole. We would also like to say to Ms. Sidle, and Ms. Willows that we are deeply horrified by what you have been put through, and we wish them the best on the road to recovery."**

"I'm sure that they appreciate that very much. You are dismissed."

Catherine, and Sara stand to leave. As Sara turns to walk out Catherine grabs her hand, and she whips around finding herself caught in the blonde's embrace. She can feel light tears sliding down Catherine's cheeks, and instinctively Sara tightens her grip on Catherine's waist pulling the blonde closer. Catherine brushes her lips against Sara's neck before pulling away. Hand in hand they walk out of the courtroom both hoping to soon leave this event in their lives behind.

* * *

TBC...

_Thanks for waiting I had procrastinated with doing something as usual. The new chapter should be out as soon as I find a way that I like to start it. Thanks for all the reviews they make me keep writing this story, and make me so happy when I read them._


	21. Chapter 21

All it takes is a single tear of frustration trickling down a pale cheek to open the floodgate for many more to come and go as they please. Catherine sits behind Sara's desk staring off into space. Inside her mind her physical, and emotional needs continue raging on in a gruesome battle. _You know exactly what to say to get Sara to agree. You can't do this too much is at risk just wait, and let it play out on its own. You and Sara will eventually have sex…come on just go find her already. Have your way with her she won't mind she is there for you. It's not like she won't get any pleasure out of it. Give in I mean come on! Your core is already throbbing from innocent thoughts of Sara what is going to happen when you let the uncensored version through? I love her I can't do this, but I want her, and that is part of my love too. _The ding of the computer pulls Catherine out of her thoughts looking down she reads what Lindsay wrote, and tells her daughter she has things to do, and that she loves her before signing off. She doesn't bother to wipe the tears from her face knowing that more will quickly replace them. Going to find Sara she hears the sound of tools clanking, and figures that is her best bet.

By the time she reaches the garage the sound of tools have stopped, and Sara has begun examining the inside of the car. Her sweet voice fills Catherine's ears as the brunette sings to herself unaware of another presence in the room. Catherine quietly shuts the door hoping for at least a thin barrier of privacy. _Okay Catherine, this is okay. Just don't initiate too much contact, or there will be no turning back._ Catherine's body however refuses to listen to the rational part of her mind. Sara brings her shoulders back trying to release the tension from in between them. Catherine watches the brunette's back muscles flex through her tank top. Sara had, had clothes to change into Catherine on the other hand is still in her court clothes. Seeing Sara's efforts to relieve the stress Catherine walks up behind her, and begins to massage her back. _Good going smart one!_ The feel of Sara's muscles under Catherine's fingers increases her need for the brunette. Sara quietly moans at Catherine's touch.

"**Find anything?"** Catherine is trying her hardest to keep the lust out of her voice.

"**Not so far."**

Sara can feel Catherine's lips against her neck lightly tracing the skin they had already traveled. Her breath catches as the tip of Catherine's tongue makes contact with her skin sending electricity through her body. Then a fiery tear slides down Sara's back followed by another. She turns to Catherine, and pulls the crying blonde into her arms. **"What's wrong?"** She reassuringly whispers into Catherine's ear. Sara shoves away the urge to nibble on Catherine's earlobe. The blonde has already set her body on fire with the lightest touch. _I want to hold on to her, and never let go. Monday is coming way too soon, and I'm not ready. I have no clue what is going to happen. All I know is I want to hold Catherine in my arms, and feel her inside of me, and me inside of her forever. Don't think about that Catherine needs you right now._ A lump is beginning to swell in Sara's throat at the thought of Catherine's departure.

She looks down at the blonde waiting for a response. Catherine shakes her head, and catches Sara's lips before the brunette can turn away. As the kiss deepens, and their tongues wrestle Catherine moves Sara so that she is pinned up against the wall. Sara tangles one hand in Catherine's hair as the other slides down to her hip, and starts playing with the string of the blonde's thong. Catherine moves to Sara's neck. Letting her teeth graze the flesh, and her tongue follow soothingly. Catherine sucks on Sara's pulse point listening to the brunette's erotic breathing. Sara allows a low moan to escape from her lips; she feels Catherine smiling into her skin. She is on fire; her core is throbbing, and begging for attention from Catherine. Catherine lets out a moan as Sara dips her hand into the blonde's pants and squeezes her ass. The blonde runs her hands down Sara's torso impatiently until she reaches the end of the fabric. She slides her hand up under, and finds the thin cloth underneath. Sara's mind is swimming with lust, and desire, but not enough that she isn't aware that her actions are wrong. When she feels Catherine's fingers graze her hard nipple through her bra she stops Catherine's hand by resting her own on top of it.

"**Work. Upset. Must stop. Can wait."** _Well at least you managed to get your point across Sara. Now only if you could manage full sentences._

Catherine nods slipping her hand out of Sara's shirt. While Sara is removing her hands Catherine places her hand in between the brunette's legs where she can feel the heat radiating through the denim, and pushes on the fabric until she can feel her hand against Sara's body. She knows she has hit the right spot as the younger woman lets out a loud moan. A lust filled smile makes its way onto Catherine's face, and she looks up into Sara's dark orbs, which are almost black with desire.

"**I'm serious. Must stop,"** Sara says quietly Catherine's fingers against her rapidly throbbing core are providing as a very welcomed distraction, but she knows she must stop.

"**Okay,"** Catherine whispers not bothering to hold back the disappointment in her voice.

**"Baby trust me it's not that I don't want to it's just… … not like this. You are upset, and want an escape I get that, but I want it to be special, and when you're ready."**

"**It's not that. I am just in the mood. I want you, and I thought you might want me too."**

"**Of course I want you. Are you crazy? I've wanted you since the first time I saw you. I wouldn't admit it though. I thought it was an attraction that would go away, but it didn't. I've held back so far, and I'm going to do the same thing now, because no matter how you feel at this moment it will change. I can wait." **Catherine nods, and pulls away from Sara. _Damn it Catherine! I warned you don't get to close to her. That you wouldn't be able to stop._ Turning to the car Catherine circles it before returning to Sara's side.

"**How can I help?"**

"**This is my second time processing it, and again I found nothing. I'm looking for anything that can connect the suspect to the transportation, and body dump."**

"**Maybe the person didn't do it."**

"**The thing is I know he did I can feel it. The way he teases me while I interview him, like he knows I can never catch him."**

"**Well then maybe he rented a car."**

"**I thought about that, and I've had people check. No one matching his description has come into any of the rental places around the time of death. I even processed the tapes myself hoping someone missed something."**

"**Okay well let me get some gloves then I will help." **Catherine crosses the room and reaches into Sara's kit finding the gloves.

"**Hey Cat," **she hears the brunette whisper.

"**Yeah."** Turning she finds Sara standing right behind her.

She leans in kissing Catherine before whispering in her ear, **"I've missed you."** Catherine flashes a small smile in the brunette's direction before examining the back seat.

Two hours later after a careful examination of the car Sara glances into Catherine's eyes, and sees the frustration she feels. **"I still have to look underneath. Maybe I will find something caught, even a mark would be nice."**

"**This car is way too clean. I think he cleaned up 'cause he knew you would show up sometime."**

"**Yeah I know."**

"**Working under the car really isn't my thing. Is there something else I could do to help?"**

"**There is but it is tedious. I have this other case I am in the process of working on. I am actually in the middle of working on about five cases, but in this particular one initials, or what I am assuming are initials were scraped into the metal. I collected all the tools from the victim's, and suspect's homes, but I need to go through and test each one. If you really want to do something I guess you could do that."**

"**Okay. I'll see you later then."**

"**Okay."**

Catherine jumps as arms slips around her waist. **"Sorry Cat."** Sara leans over her shoulder to get a better look at what she is doing. **"Have you found anything yet?"**

"**Hmmmm two and a half hours of work, and yes I have managed to discover the tool used."**

"**You were the one who volunteered."**

"**And you are the one who knows I can't sit and do nothing when I'm in a lab. That I need to be working."**

"**Well I appreciate the help. So tell me what you have found."**

"**There were some very similar markings, but it turns out the letters were carved by the suspects screw driver."**

"**Really? Now I am a lot closer than I was two and a half hours ago. Thank you."**

"**It was no problem sweetie. Did you find anything?"**

"**Well I did find some debris lodged way up. I sent it to trace, but it will be a while until I have the results. The lab is a little slower than it is in Vegas."**

"**Yeah, well we're lucky."**

"**So do you want to go out to dinner or something?"**

"**No. I'd rather go home and have a bowl of cereal or something. Unless you **_**really**_** want to go out, then sure I'll go with you."**

Sara carefully examines Catherine; there are almost black circles under her eyes, and her lids and slowly moving down as sleep increases pressure. Of course Catherine won't admit she is tired. **"No baby I want to go home."**

Sara quietly shuts the front door removing her jacket and shoes. She has snuck out for her lunch break to spend time with Catherine. She keeps pushing back the fact that the blonde is leaving tomorrow. She heads towards the living room figuring the blonde might be watching TV since there isn't much else to do in the house. She walks in and finds Catherine staring off into space with a pained expression etched into the lines on her beautiful face. Sara sits next to Catherine, and runs her fingers through Catherine's silky hair. Catherine doesn't immediately respond, and Sara begins to worry. Finally Catherine turns to her, and attempts to give the brunette a small smile. **"What are you doing here? I thought you had to work."**

"**I do I'm just taking my lunch break. I thought I would try to get out so I can spend it with you. I know the answer to this question is obvious, but are you okay Baby?"**

"**I'm fine."**

"**I don't believe you. Yesterday you came to me crying, and I find you her looking like you are in extreme pain. What is going on Cat?"**

"**I…I…it's nothing important."**

"**I think it is."**

"**Please Sara I don't want to talk about it."**

"**Cat…"**

"**Please."**

"**Okay. I'll drop it for now."**

"**Thanks."**

"**Yeah." **Catherine runs her hand up Sara's thigh, and the brunette's breath catches. _Catherine you've got to stop trying, Sara said she would wait. Just do it you want it. It is burning inside of you. _Catherine straddles Sara, and gazes into the depths of her chocolate brown pools. She kisses Sara lightly then increases the pressure. She lightly bites the brunette's bottom lip allowing an escape route for a moan. She slips her tongue into the brunette's mouth exploring every inch of it then sticking her tongue into the back of Sara's throat. Sara slides her hands onto Catherine's hips. She has already resolved that if Catherine tries to bring it any further she will stop it. They pull away for air, and Catherine begins to tug at Sara's shirt. **"No Cath, Baby…"** Sara whispers.

Catherine looks up frustration easily displayed on her face. She gets up, and begins to walk out of the room **"Where are you going?"**

"**I'm sick of being treated like I can't be touched. Like I am damaged, and broken goods. I'm going to do what you won't."** She leaves the room, and Sara can hear her going up the stairs. _Did she…no. Does she mean? No. She isn't…is she?_ After five minutes of contemplating things in her head Sara decides to go see if her suspicions are correct, or if she completely misinterpreted what Catherine meant.

As she nears her bedroom she can hear quiet moans traveling from the room. Stepping inside her jaw drops. Catherine is lying naked in her bed touching herself. Sara's core gives a quick throb. Sara considers leaving and letting Catherine finish, but as she turns to leave she hears Catherine quietly say, **"Sara, I need you." **Sara stops her core is now throbbing rapidly. Catherine has said the words that Sara cannot refuse. Crossing the room she pulls her shirt off, and throws it on the floor. Sara sits on the bed next to Catherine, and places her hand on Catherine's stopping it from moving any further south. Catherine opens her eyes, and catches Sara's brown orbs giving the brunette a pleading look.

Sara straddles Catherine's hips and begins to kiss away the tears that are traveling down the blonde's cheeks. She kisses Catherine quickly deepening the kiss. Catherine's hands explore Sara's body sending waves of electricity through her. Sara moves down to Catherine's neck lightly kissing, and nipping at Catherine's soft flesh. She runs her hand up Catherine's stomach and cups her perfect breast. She teases the blonde playing with her already hard nipple. Catherine moans her name; the sound is perfect. Catherine is burning up, her heart is racing, and she is becoming impatient as her core screams for Sara. Suddenly the familiar smell swims around her, his rough hands are all over her, and his chilling voice is in her ear. Catherine needs to get out. She pushes Sara off of her grabbing Sara's robe, and rushes out of the room. Sara is lying stunned on the bed unable to move. Gathering the energy she is dreading finding out what is wrong with Catherine, but Sara lifts herself off the bed. She throws on an oversized tee, and searches for the blonde. She discovers her in the downstairs bathroom sitting on the toilet seat with her head in her hands. Sara stops leaning against the doorframe, **"Baby?"**

Catherine turns her head in Sara's direction her face is filled with fear, and sorrow. **"I'm sorry."**

"**No, don't apologize I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that."**

"**No Sara it's my fault. I knew you could never say no if I told you I needed you. I shouldn't have. I knew I could hurt you, but I was only thinking of myself." **A heavy silence fills the room. Sara stands observing the blonde afraid to get any closer. **"What are we going to do?"**

"**About what?"**

"**About us Sara. I'm leaving tomorrow. Am I ever going to see you again, or is this it? I need to know, because I love you, but I'm not positive that right now you feel the same way."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Sara no matter how many times I tell you I love you either smile, and change the subject, or leave the room. Has something changed? Have you decided you don't feel the same way; you are just afraid to end it, because of what happened?"**

"**No I…"** Sara has a hurt smirk on her face. She walks away, and Catherine hears the front door slam.

"**Fuck!"** Tears swell up in Catherine's eyes. _Sara! What is going on with her…I love her so much. I just want to know what is going on. I can't stand not knowing. I shouldn't have pushed it, but I did. Shit Catherine, good going!_

Sara opens the front door dreading what is waiting for her on the other side. She shouldn't have walked out on Catherine, but after a five mile jog she is feeling cooled down, and more open to talking. Catherine doesn't meet her at the door, and there isn't any noise that suggests the blonde even knows she is back. She quickly showers, and remembers the reason she came home, lunch. She glances at the clock, _Shit I'm late. I should have been back ten minutes ago._ She sighs and searches the cupboards for something to eat. She throws some vegetables in a pan, and is standing at the stove when Catherine comes downstairs. She stops just outside the doorframe trying to determine the brunette's demeanor. Sara looks at her, and holds up her arm silently questioning Catherine. The blonde comes to her side, and wraps her arms around the brunette's waits; burring her face in Sara's shoulder. Sara kisses the top of Catherine's head. **"I'm sorry Sara I shouldn't have…"**Sara places a finger on the blonde's lips.

"**Do you want some lunch?"**

"**Sure. What are you making?"**

"**Sautéed vegetables with whole grain rice."**

"**Wow, healthy! It sounds good count me in."**

"**Alright. It will be done in a few minutes. Why don't you go relax in the living room, and I will join you in a few minutes. I have to call the lab I'm running late. Don't let me forget."**

"**Okay, but I kind of want to stay with you. Do you mind?"**

"**No of course not."**

Sara finishes, and grabs a couple bowls filling them, and passes one to Catherine. She grabs her phone, and calls the lab on her way to the living room. Catherine is waiting for her by the couch. Sara raises her eyebrow at her, and sits. Catherine sits in her lap, and Sara rests her head against the blonde's arm. **"This is really good. I thought you said you could only cook that one thing you made me."**

"**Well this is easy."** They eat in silence. Catherine follows Sara at the door to say goodbye. She pulls Sara into her, and kisses her trying to express all of her passion, and love through the contact of their lips. **"Bye,"** Sara whispers breathlessly.

"**Bye… hey do you think you could try to come home early tonight?"**

"**I can try."**

"**I would like that. I want to spend time with you before… before tomorrow."** Both women drop their heads. Neither wants to think about that. Catherine is dying to see Linzz, but she doesn't want to leave Sara. Catherine looks up, and notices a single tear streaming down the brunette's face. She lifts Sara's head so that their eyes make contact. She brushes her lips against Sara's, and pulls her closer. Sara tightens her arms around Catherine's waist.

**"I'll be home early."**

"**Okay."** Sara kisses Catherine slipping her tongue into the blonde's mouth not erotically, but lovingly trying to express all that she is feeling before turning, and walking out the door.

* * *

TBC... _The next chapter should be out soon, but right now they are having a Madonna-thon weekend on fuse so I am slightly distracted lol. Soon though I promise._


	22. Chapter 22

The warm sun pulses down on Sara's face, and she opens her eyes. Immediately she panics when she doesn't find Catherine in her arms. Sitting straight up she lets out a sigh of relief as she discovers the blonde curled up on the edge of the bed. Carefully she moves closer not wanting to wake the sleeping angel. She lightly kisses down Catherine's bare arm before wrapping herself around the blonde. The involuntary flinch is there, but she ignores it. Catherine turns burying her face in Sara, and begins to run her nails gently up and down the brunette's back. **"Morning,"** Catherine whispers into Sara's chest.

"**Morning Baby. I didn't mean to wake you."**

"**What time is it?"** Sara untangles herself from Catherine, and turns to the clock.

"**9:30."** She smiles down at the blonde, but then the smile retreats at her next thought. **"What do you want to do until 12?"**

"**How about we go for a walk."**

"**It's freezing outside, and I know you still don't have a jacket. Are you certain you want to brave the one degree out there?"**

"**Yeah, I want to look at the snow."**

"**I don't see why you like that stuff so much."**

"**I just do. Lets go for a walk in the park."**

"**Alright. Do you want breakfast first?"**

"**Yeah, I'll make it while you're in the shower. Do you like chocolate chip pancakes?"**

"**Sure do."**

"**Okay go get in the shower. I still have to pack when we get back."**

"**Ugh fine. God your pushy."** Sara smiles, and kisses Catherine, **"But I like it."** The cold air assaults Sara as she rolls out from underneath the covers.

The warm water massages Sara's back soothing away the pain of upcoming events. Closing her eyes she stands letting the water pour over her. Catherine slips into the bathroom she can hear Sara quietly singing to herself. Opening the curtain the brunette visibly jumps. **"Jesus Christ Cat, you scared the shit out of me!"**

"**Mmmmhhhhmmm."** Catherine's eyes are transfixed on Sara's body her mouth slightly open. Sara admires the devouring shade of Catherine's eyes. Moving closer to the blonde she reaches out, and closes Catherine's mouth. Catherine's eyes unwilling wander back to Sara's.

"**Did you want something Baby?"**

"**Yeah, uh I…"** Catherine's eyes quickly travel back down to Sara's rapidly tightening nipples. **"I…ahh…"** Sara moves so she is standing directly in front of the blonde. She puts her hand beneath Catherine's chin, and forces her to look up so that she can kiss the blonde. As their lips met Sara grabs Catherine's hand, and places it on her breast. Then she pulls far enough away so that the blonde can't reach her. Catherine has a smirk of appreciation on her face. Her eyes still grazing Sara's body.

**"There isn't going to be any hot water left for you if you don't let me finish my shower Baby. So what is it you needed, or did you just come in here to drool? If it's the second one I don't mind, but I have to get back to my shower."**

"**No I ummmm… the pancakes are done when you're ready."**

"**Alright."** She turns her back to Catherine to finish her shower, and tease the blonde. She can still feel Catherine's eyes exploring her backside. **"Would you like to join me Cat?"** Sara can hear Catherine stumbling as she rushes to rip off her clothes. She laughs, and returns to her singing. Catherine wraps her arms around Sara's waist. The brunette quietly moans at the feel of Catherine's body against hers. Catherine's nipples are hard against her back; the feel of the blonde's breast pushed against her sends an excited shiver up her spine. Catherine places light kisses on Sara's silky wet skin. Using her finger she traces the pale white line visible on the brunette's back. Sara turns around, and pulls Catherine so that she is standing under the water. As the brunette watches her need for Catherine increases as the water streams over the blonde's delicate body. Taking the soap she rubs it on Catherine, and allows the blonde to do the same to her. Kissing Catherine Sara gets out of the shower to give Catherine some privacy, and so that they won't have to fight over the mirror.

Sara looks over at Catherine and rolls her eyes. The blonde is standing by the door waiting for her in a sweatshirt and jeans. **"You are going to freeze."**

"**You are lying it can't be that cold out."**

"**Okay why don't you step outside and tell me how warm it is."**

"**Fine I will."**

"**You are so stubborn Cat."** Catherine puts on a fake look of hurt.

**"You love me anyways."**

"**Yep, so go see how warm it is for me will you." **_Ugh. I can't even trick her into saying it. What the hell! How hard is a simple I love you Catherine. God at this point she doesn't even have to mean it I would just like to hear it…Well it would be very nice if she meant it. Don't push it though you want to get along today. You don't know when the next time you'll see her is. I might…I might never see her again. Shit! Catherine don't think about that. Don't cry and fuck this up. Of course you will see her agai…HOLY SHIT it fucking freezing out here!_ Catherine runs back inside slamming the door then directs her gaze toward Sara who is leaning up against the wall, and is doubled over laughing.

"**Cold?"** Sara manages to say through her fit of laughter.

**"Shut up. Do you happen to have a jacket I could borrow? It's not that it is cold, or anything it's ummm… just incase."**

"**You are such a liar Catherine."** Sara moves over to the blonde who is pretending to be mad, and has turned her back to Sara. She wraps her arms around the older woman, and kisses her neck. Catherine gives up pretending, and turns into Sara's arms burying her face in the brunette's shoulder.

**"It's a little cold out there."**

"**Mmmmhhhmmm a little cold as in three below."**

"**Are you serious?"**

"**Yep."**

"**I've heard it can get that cold, but holy shit!"** Sara laughs at Catherine's reaction, and brushes her lips over Catherine's golden hair.

"**So you want a jacket?"**

"**Maybe."**

"**Maybe I don't have one."**

"**Oh come on!"**

"**Fine. Here take mine I'll find a new one."** Catherine slips into the warm jacket, and is surrounded by a familiar fruity smell. Sara's smile, the puzzled look she had on her face when she looked over at Catherine the day she came to Connecticut flashes through the blonde's mind. **"Okay, are you ready? Wait don't tell me you are attempting high heels too?"**

"**No I'm not smart ass. I'm not that stupid,"** Catherine smiles, and pulls on Sara's jacket to move her closer. Catherine kisses the younger woman to be sure the brunette knows she is joking. She slips her tongue into Sara's mouth, and stops smiling into the kiss when Sara lets out a low, quiet moan. Catherine pulls away, **"Okay lets go."**

"**Oh come on!"** Sara allows a wave of false disappointment to filter into her response. She does not want to pressure Catherine with the real thing, but tease her on the other hand… Catherine takes the brunette's hand, and practically has to drag her out the door.

**"Ugh the park is such a long walk from here, and it is so cold…"**

"**Oh stop you're bitching Sidle. There is a small private park not even a mile down the road."**

"**There is? Are we back to a formal relationship already Willows?"**

"**Sorry habit."**

"**Sometimes those are hard to break."** Catherine stops unsure if she heard an underlining meaning in Sara's words, or if it was just a simple statement. She chances a glance at the brunette who has caught up, and now remains by her side. Sara is lost in though her eyes revealing another place and another time.

"**Like what?"** Catherine says as she begins to walk again.

**"Nothing much, just habits."**

"**Mmmhhhmm."**

"**I shouldn't have mentioned it."**

"**If we are going to do this Sara you will have to trust me enough to open up."**

"**I do trust you Cat. Hell if I didn't do you think I would have told you about my parents? I'm just not really to talk about it yet."**

"**Okay Sweetie."** Sara feels her jaw drop. _Did Catherine actually drop the subject?! Now that's new._

"**What?"** Sara is suddenly aware that they have stopped in a small park, and Catherine is carefully examining her.

**"It's nothing. I'm just shocked."**

"**Why?"**

"**You dropped the subject when I asked you to."**

"**You will talk about it when you're ready."**

"**That hasn't stopped you before."**

"**Are you trying to get me to question you more?"**

"**No. No! Hey how did you know about this place?"**

"**Sometimes when I get bored waiting for you to come home I go for walks."**

"**Oh… hey! You are supposed to be using that time to relax and recover not wander the streets. Catherine! Should I be having constant watch on you?"** Sara smiles signaling to the blonde that she is really fine with it.

"**No." **Catherine scans the park for somewhere to sit. Linking her arm in Sara's she pulls the brunette over to a private bench. Sara takes in her surroundings. Snow sits on the bare trees as protection; the sun warms the white blanket so that water is dripping. The sky is blue almost the pure, blinding blue that takes over during the summer, and is visible through the lush green leaves. Yet cold lingers in the air, flooding the icy blasts of wind that frequently push through. Making it three below. Catherine admires the scenery even an inch of snow is rarely seen in Vegas. Her eyes eventually wander back to the brunette whom is by her side. Sara feels Catherine's eyes on her, and forces on a smile. As the minutes pass it is becoming harder, and harder for Sara to deny what is bound to happen. Catherine is leaving. Catherine can tell that there is something wrong, but right now she doesn't want to push it. She is having her own regrets about not being able to stay longer.

**"Are you excited to see Linzz?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Give her a hug for me, and tell her I said hi. Oh and give the guys hugs for me especially Greggo just don't tell them who it's from."**

"**Hug Greg geez you are asking the world of me. I never realized how much you were my buffer to the flirting until… …"** Catherine doesn't want to say it, she doesn't want Sara to see the hurt flood her eyes as she remembers. She knows her demeanor will change, and she wants to hide it. She is still upset about it, and the current situation isn't making it better, because she knows what Sara's departure did to her. _What will mine do to Sara? _**"Until… you left." **Catherine quickly turns her head, and watches the teenage couple behind the trees. Giggling and flirting like they have not a care in the world. Sara takes Catherine's hand.

**"I'm sorry Baby. I'm sorry for the pain I caused you. If I had known how you felt I would have at least stopped in to say good-bye. I mean you showed that you cared, but after our last fight over the fake forensics we weren't on the best terms, and I thought… … that you were just being nice because of what happened with Natalie. We were never on any cases alone together after that. Not even when I switched to Swing. I really thought you hated me, and it wouldn't matter that I was gone."**

"**I've never hated you Sara. I've been jealous, and I've fought with you, and been the biggest bitch on the face of the earth to hide my feelings, but never once did I hate you. I've only loved you. Secretly I've probably known since we were in the break room during Holly Gribbs' case, and you sat next to me when I called the number on the pager. The smile on you're face blew me away, but I denied it, and pushed it away. Tried to replace you with men. Hell it was all a mistake Sara. If I had know what could have been…Everyday after you left I was filled with overwhelming regret for the way I treated you. Can we talk, or do something more cheery now this isn't what I had planned to talking about right now. Not today."**

"**Yeah, just one thing."**

"**What?"** Sara places her hand on Catherine's cheek, and gently caresses it. Catherine looks up, and Sara catches her lips. She pulls back then kisses Catherine again briefly, before repeating the action.

**"Now on a cheerier note, I think we should make out!"**

"**That's nice Sara."**

"**What?! I don't know about you, but it would make me much happier after that depressing conversation."** Sara glances at what is obviously fake disgust on Catherine's face, and giggles. **"Or not Baby it was just a thought. What do you want to do? Go play on the monkey bars over there?"**

"**Maybe I will."**

"**Okay you do that! I think I will just sit here. My ass is already numb so what is the point in repeating the process?"**

"**Fine, be a spoil sport."** Catherine gets up, and makes her way to the monkey bars. Half way there she stops and turns to Sara. **"Hey, if you come over near the river with me I'll consider making out with you."**

"**You have to consider? Know what never mind as long as there is the possibility."** Sara jumps up, and runs over to the edge of the river. **"Come on Cat! What is taking you so long?"**

"**My now, aren't we impatient."**

"**Maybe I am. Hurry up!"**

"**Alright, alright I'm coming."**

"**No you're not you are dragging you're feet! On purpose!"**

**"I am not! This is just the way I walk."**

"**You are such a bad liar when you're not trying. Catherine, get you're sexy butt over here!"** By this point the two women yelling at each other across the park has gathered some attention. Catherine looks around sensing more than one pair of eyes on her. Some are disapproving, others amused, and others blank. She flashes her audience a small smile before quickly walking over to Sara's side. Eyes still burning in their backs the two women don't kiss, not caring for an awaiting audience. Instead Catherine leans against Sara, and waits for her supporting arms to snake around her, and link. Sara smiles as Catherine starts to shake in silent laughter. She buries herself in Sara's shoulder; to the untrained eye it would appear she is crying, but Sara can hear the random small escapes of Catherine's adorable laughter. Looking up at Sara, Catherine's laughter has subsided, but it still is captured in her gleaming eyes. She brushes her lips against Sara's, but the kiss quickly deepens tongue's wrestling, and each woman trying to get the other to moan louder with little nips, and licks. Reluctantly breaking apart for air Sara glances at her cell phone. **"We should get going."**

"**What time is it?"**

"**11: 15."**

"**Oh shit!"**

"**We'll still make it in time… If we can stay off of each other."**

"**That's harder than it sounds."**

"**I know."**

The silence is becoming heavier with every passing minute. Sara glances at Catherine again as she parks the car outside of the airport. They find the gate with five minutes to spare so they take a seat each lost in their own thoughts; not knowing the other woman's are very similar. When they call the passengers to board Catherine turns to Sara with tears in her eyes. **"I never thought something like this would be so hard."**

"**I know Baby. I'm gonna miss you so much."**

"**Yeah."**

"**Promise me something?"**

"**Sure,"** Tears are now streaming out of both women's eyes. Catherine can't bear to look at Sara any longer, and turns her head. Sara wraps her arms around the blonde not wanting to let her go.

**"Take care of yourself Cat. You still are extremely weak even if you won't admit it. Sleep once in a while, eat, and spend time with Linzz. Don't let work consume you okay?"**

"**Yeah, okay."**

"**LAST CALL! All passengers please board!"** A woman's voice blares out of the speaker next to the two women.

"**I've got to go."** Sara kisses Catherine passionately her tears running onto Catherine's face, and Catherine's tears onto Sara's hands. She lets go of the blonde, and watches her walk way.

"**Hey Cat!"** Sara grabs Catherine's wrist just as she is about to give the woman her ticket. She smiles at the ticket lady letting other people pass as she pulls Catherine aside.

**"Yeah?"**

"**I should have told you this sooner, but… …I love you Baby."** She kisses Catherine again before sending the blonde off through the gate; overjoyed, and filled with sorrow.

* * *

TBC... okay this chapter is a little happier than most of them usually are but I thought that Cath and Sara shouldn't end on a bad note this time 


	23. Chapter 23

Sighing Sara locks the door behind her. Looking around the space seems daunting, and she wonders why she didn't just get a cute little apartment. The quiet rips away at her heart quickly shredding it into pieces. Catherine's laughter, her husky voice as she whispered in Sara's ear 'I love you' fuels the brunette's loneliness. _I can't believe she is really gone, and we have no clue what is happening , or what we will do about us._ She considers calling Catherine, but glancing at the clock she realizes it has only been twenty minutes since she dropped Catherine off at the airport. Heading toward the shower Sara passes the guest room, and backs up to look in the room again. Boxes are piled high, and pushed aside to make room for Catherine, Linzz, and Lily. Cautiously crossing the room as if a ghost of her past might jump out, and strangle her at any moment Sara takes a box, and slowly opens it. She transcends back into a time, and world full of pain, and disappointment. Vegas flashes through her mind her only true home, which contains the woman of her dreams Catherine Willows.--

Catherine's eyes travel around the airport until they rest on a familiar five eleven, middle aged man standing waiting for someone. Meeting Grissom's eyes they look concerned, but his smile is sincere and generally pleased to see her. When Catherine reaches Gil she gives him a light hug trying her best not to flinch; guilt causes her stomach to do back flips. Before she had boarded the plane she had been passionately kissing the woman that broke her best friends heart._ Shit why didn't I see ahead to this dilemma? Damn it! _Grissom's eyes innocently travel up, and down the blonde's body taking in her new, unhealthy appearance. **"It's good to see you Catherine."**

**"It's nice to see you too Gil. How have you been holding up? If you tell me you went to my house. and talked to my mother for comfort Grissom I...I never mind to tell you the truth I wouldn't put it past you anymore. So how is everything at the lab?"** Catherine begins to head for the car hoping Grissom will get the hint to follow her. Sometimes he is so consumed in thought he doesn't notice the simplest things. She is grateful when she hears his light footsteps behind her. Catherine doesn't think she would have had enough energy to go back, and find the man.

**"I'm fine, no I didn't visit your mother, and the lab is in complete chaos,"** Catherine nods, and they fall into a comfortable silence. Reaching the car she slides into the seat, and stares through the window. Halfway through the ride Grissom clears his throat, and Catherine tenses. _This can't be good._ **"Errr...you look...ummm..."**

**"Like shit Gris? I know."**

**"What happened?"** Grissom is following a hunch, and hopes Catherine will cooperate, and open up to him.

**"Nothing. A lot of overtime, and very little eat, and sleep; the same thing that always happens."**

**"I heard there were two new victims in the Cole case before you caught the guy."**

**"Yeah so?"**

**"So I have my suspicions. Someone went through a lot of trouble to keep everything out of the press, and the only thing in the papers was the verdict of the trial. Were you one of the victims Catherine?"**

**"Do we have to talk about that bastard right now Gil? You are ruining my good mood. I am excited to see Linzz, and to be home, and you have to go and be the party pooper Gris."** Loss stabs Catherine's heart when she doesn't get a quick, and joking response like those she has become accustomed to. Grissom stops talking, and focuses his attention on the road not wanting to push too fast too soon. They reach Catherine's house, and the blonde lets out a long frustrated sigh. Grissom carries Catherine's bags into the house for her. Grabbing her car keys she turns Gil. **"I'll walk you out I have to go to Nancy's to pick up Linzz."**

**"Alright."** Grissom rest his hand on Catherine's back a gesture the blonde has always accepted as his show of friendship. Grissom feels Catherine jump under his touch, and he quickly removes his hand from her. He hears the blonde let out a rattling breath full of tears, but he does not mention this to the woman. **"Sorry,"** he quietly mumbles to Catherine before her gets in his car, and leaves._ Good going Cath. Yet again smart move! Why can't you control you're body?_

Catherine pulls into Nancy's driveway, and before she can knock on the door it swings open, and she is looking into the smiling face of her sister. The expression on her younger sister's face rapidly disappears at the sight of the blonde in front of her. **"God Sis come in. I'll make some coffee so we can talk."**

**"Okay."** Catherine follows the blonde into the kitchen where they stumble upon her nephew trying to smuggle cookies into his bedroom.

**"Caught in the act kid, put them down."** Jeremy looks as his mom with pleading eyes, but when that doesn't work he turns to his understanding aunt.

**"Hi Auntie Cath. How was your trip?"**

**"It was pretty good Jer. How have you been sweetheart?"**

**"Okay. Linzz is in my room if you want to see her. I just got Guitar Hero III."**

**"That's cool."** Turning to Nancy she points her head in the direction of the bedroom, and the younger blonde nods. Catherine follows her nephew into his room, which has changed colors since the last time she had been in there.

Her daughter is too consumed in the game to pay attention to the new presence in the room. Catherine quietly walks up behind Linzz, and kisses the top of her head. Finishing the song Lindsay turns with a puzzled look on her face, which quickly changes to relief, and excitement. **"Mommy!"** Catherine's heart melts at the word Linzz had long ago stopped using feeling it was childish.

Catherine pulls the teenager into her arms, and repeatedly kisses her head before whispering**,"Hey sweetie-pea. I missed you so much."**

**"I missed you too. I can't wait to go home, and have everything back to normal. I swear if Aunt Nancy hadn't rescued me I don't think I would have made it another night with Grandma**." Catherine laughs into Lindsay's shoulder, and squeezes her daughter.

**"You are way too much like me Linzz."**

**"That's not always a bad thing Mommy**." Catherine pulls herself far enough away from her daughter so that she can see into Linzz's crystal blue eyes. She smiles, kisses the teenager's cheek, and gives Linzz one last squeeze before untangling from the welcoming embrace.

**"I'm gonna let you two get back to your game. I promised Nancy we would talk, and then maybe we will pick up a movie, and dinner before we go home honey."**

**"That sounds nice. Now go, so I can kick Jeremy's butt at this game, and not completely humiliate him."**

**"Ugh I feel sorry for you Jer. Hey kid I never got a hug from you. You've grown like five inches since the last time I saw you**." Quickly she hugs her nephew, and leaves the room not wanting to be harassed by Nancy who will claim her big sis' blew her off if Catherine doesn't re-enter the room soon.

Catherine finds her sister impatiently waiting in the living room. **"Jesus took you long enough Catherine. So sit, and tell me what is going on with you. Oh, by the way, you look like shit."**

**"Thanks Nance I've heard very similar already today."**

**"From who?"**

**"Grissom."**

**"He doesn't seem like the type to be so blunt."**

**"He didn't have to be."**

**"Oh, okay. Well I've got to tell you no matter how unhealthy you look you do have a dim glow to you. What happened while you were away girl?"**

**"I started a relationship with a woman."** Catherine holds her breath waiting for her sister's response. She isn't certain how Nancy will react; she has supported Catherine through so much, but Catherine doesn't know what will be the final straw. She was shocked when Nancy agreed to bring her to rehab, because Catherine was pregnant, and needed to sober up. Or when Catherine ran to her little sister so many times after Eddie had finished beating her. Nancy had also been the one called to come pick up her big sister at the strip club, because she was done working, but could barely stand from all the alcohol. When Nancy had arrived she found her sister dancing on a pole with only a thong on. _God I don't know why she puts up with me. I've been the worse big sister on the face of the earth. Running away. Drug. Alcohol. Stripping. Abuse. What kind of role model am I?_

**"Hell Catherine it is about time!"**

**"Wha... ...wha..."**

**"I knew you've always had a thing for women. I mean especially after you would sit here night after night telling me about Sara with the most lovestruck look on your face. Even when the two of you fought, and you were venting your anger that wasn't the only thing you were trying to get rid of, and it was obvious. You spoke with such a raw passion those times. I had never once heard you talk about a man with such feeling, or with such an expression. So what is this woman's name? You do know her name right this wasn't like a spur of the moment thing?"**

**"Ouch Nance that really hurts that you think of me that way,"** Catherine displays perfectly an expression of mock hurt. Inside however another throb of pain pierces Catherine's heart as she hears the loving, sarcasm that Sara frequently sent her way.

**"Don't make me pry it out of you Catherine. Who is this woman?"**

**"Well...ummmm... actually... it's...its Sara."**

**"Whoa, wait the Sara as in Sara who left Vegas? The one you are head over heels for?"**

**"Yeah that Sara."**

**"You've lost me. Start from the beginning."** Catherine in a way wants to shield her younger sister, but Nancy deserves the truth, and that's what Catherine gives her excluding the very personal moments with Sara. She knows that Nancy has probably already gotten an earful from their mother, but how much was exaggerated Catherine can only guess. She plunges into the memories she has been forcing back ever since the trial hoping that she does not go into a full panic attack.

Catherine pulls herself out of her memories, and glances at the horror on her sister's face before looking down, and examining her hands. Nancy pulls herself out of the chair, and brings herself to her sister's side pulling the older woman into a tight embrace. **"God Cath, oh my God. Shit..." **Catherine buries herself in Nancy's shoulder, but does not find the comfort in her smell as she did in Sara's. **"Finish you're story Cath tell me what happened between you, and Sara after that bastard... after he..."** Nancy says quietly. Catherine doesn't want to think about Sara. She does not want to think about the possibilities. She does not want to contemplate the unknown. Still she brings back the most painful, and happiest memories of her life for her little sister. Even though she could not be the best sister, Catherine will always give Nancy the truth. Catherine finishes, and gives Nancy a squeeze before pulling away from her. She is not ready for the questions shining in her sister's eyes. The blonde wants out; she is suffocating; thoughts blocking her throat. She wants to hold her daughter in her arms, and make all the pain disappear. Catherine calls out to Linzz that she will wait for her in the car.

Catherine stands taking deep breaths of the warm Nevada air. A light wind caresses her face unlike the sharp, bitter wind she had felt this morning. The sun creates pink, and red sky that lights up the night before all the lights come on. Catherine can hear clips of Sara's last words to her, 'I love you.' Catherine has no doubt that Sara meant what she said, but what does she expect now? What does she want Catherine to do who is weighed down by her job, which will allow her no time once she starts again tomorrow? She attempts to clear her mind when Lindsay's footsteps ring on the stairs behind her. Catherine runs her hand through her hair, and sighs as she turns to observe her daughter. She knows this is not going to be the peaceful night she wished it to be.--

Sara sits on the edge of the bed bracing herself. Carefully balanced in her hand is what used to be her whole life. Taking a deep breath Sara opens the small box, and stares down at the shimmering engagement ring...

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TBC... sorry this is taking so long but now my Internet is working and my keyboard is not. That's helpful right? I'm trying to get as many chapters out this weekend as I can. So you will have hopefully at least two knew chapters to read maybe more who knows. I hope you are enjoying the story anyways. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews they make my day! 


	24. Chapter 24

Catherine's eyes shoot open. Tangled in the blanket, cold sweat drips down her face as the darkness presses down on her. She flips on the light her nightmare is still clutching onto her threatening to take her back, to caress her with its deadly fingers. Looking around the room hurt immediately takes over the fear Catherine's emotions pushing her closer over the edge. Glancing at the clock she discovers it is still the early hours of the morning; she had just gotten to sleep two hours earlier. Picking up the phone she dials, and waits. **"Hello?"** Says a groggy voice. Catherine can hear the shower running in the background.

**"Hey."**

**"Hey Baby,"** Catherine can sense the smile in Sara's voice as she realizes who it is. **"What's wrong?"**

**"Nothing can't I want to hear your voice?"**

**"Usually I would say yes, but isn't it around three in the morning there?"**

**"Maybe."**

**"What is wrong Cat?"** The sound of running water stops. Catherine wants to breakdown she had thought talking to Sara would soothe her, but it has done the exact opposite. She hasn't seen the brunette in two weeks, and has heard from her about two times. Talking to Sara only brings back the things she is trying to forget.

**"I can't sleep."**

**"Why?"** Sara thinks she already knows the answer.

**"I keep having nightmares."**

**"Oh Baby! Do you want to talk about them?"**

**"I can't really remember them."** That is a lie, but Catherine doesn't want to feel anymore pain then she already does. **"I miss you,"** she can feel the tears streaming down her face.

Sara can hear Catherine's breaths becoming shallower, and can clearly imagine the tears running down her pale cheeks. **"I miss you too."**

**"Am I going to get to see you again?"**

**"Yeah, sometime."**

**"Okay, ummmm so you should probably be getting ready for work. So I'll ummm let you go."**

**"I don't have to."**

**"No you do Sara you've already missed enough work for me."**

**"Alright."**

**"Thank you."**

**"For what?"**

**"Everything. What you've done for me, the gifts you've sent, for being there for me."**

**"Catherine you don't have to thank me for those things I do them because I care. I love you Baby."**

**"I love you too."**

**"I'll talk to you later okay?"**

**"Yeah later. Bye."**

**"Bye." **Catherine hangs up the phone forcing the tears to stay inside. She gets up and goes down the hall into Lindsay's room. She slips under the covers, and wraps her arm around the peacefully sleeping girl. Lindsay turns, and buries her face in her mom's chest.

Catherine kisses the top of her head; a sleepy whisper floats into Catherine's ears. **"Is it time to wake up?"**

**"No sweetie it's three in the morning go back to sleep."**

**"Are you okay Mom?"**

**"Yeah Linzz. I just needed someone to snuggle with."**

**"Okay."** Linzz slides her arm around her mom's waist, and is soon sound asleep again. Catherine closes her eyes, and attempts to turn off her mind.--

Sara walks into the lab, and is summoned over to the front desk by Betty who is extremely friendly for seven in the morning. **"Good morning Ms. Sidle."**

**"Please Betty call me Sara. I've told you that."**

**"Well Sara I have a stack of messages for you here somewhere. Ahh here they are**." She hands Sara a large stack of about thirty messages.

**"Wow!"**

**"If I'm not mistaken at least half of them are from the same person."**

**"Okay well thanks Betty. Have a good day. I'll see you you later."**

**"Okay."** Sara walks into her office, and closes the door behind herself. Sitting at her desk she begins to skim through her messages. It soon becomes clear that most of them came from the same person. Guilt, fears, and nervousness rushes into Sara; a lump rises in her throat as she looks down at the name on the paper, Gil Grissom.

She quickly makes her way back out to the front desk. Betty is shocked at the young woman's appearance it is almost as if she has seen a ghost. Betty has no clue how close she is to the truth. **"This man that called Grissom, did he ask for me by name?"**

**"Not that I'm aware of he just asked for the Day Shift Supervisor every time her called."** Sara's emotions decrease slightly, but not completely.

**"Did you give him my name?"**

**"No. Why?"**

**"If he calls again no matter how many times please do not give him my name. Do not even hint at who I am. Tell him I had to rush out for a conference, and will get back to him when I can. If Ethan, or anyone finds out what I've asked you to do, and starts hassling you send them to me okay."**

**"Okay, Sara is everything alright?"**

**"It's a long story. Please do as I have asked."**

**"Of course Sara."**

**"Thank you Betty." **Sara walks back to her office her heart pounding in her chest. She grabs the assignment slips, and heads to the break room. Sara appears in the room, and faces five pairs of concerned eyes. She has lost all color in her face, and appears disheveled, and distracted. She hands out the slips, and asks those who worked on the Cole case to stay behind for a few extra minutes. She closes the door behind the others, and glances at each worried face. **"Calm down I only need to make a simple request. If a man named Gil Grissom contacts you about the case, which he shouldn't be, but just in case please do not tell him my name or mention me at all. Do not release the names of the last two victims: me, and Catherine okay? It is a long story, but I do not need him knowing I am here, yet."** Sara looks around, and waits until she gets a nod from each person in the room before releasing them to go face the dark, and demanding world. She observes her own slip, and leaves the lab to go to the crime scene.

Lifting the yellow tape Sara winces as she looks at the teenager lying on the cement. Glassy eyes look up at her from a bruised, and bloody face. Her clothes are riped showing knife marks, and her wrist reveals at least two suicide attempts. This poor girl finally left the world like she wanted, but she was not the one to take her own life like she had previously planned. Her throat was slashed, her head barely attached to the rest of the body.** "Crime of passion?"** She says running her theory past the assisstant coroner who arrived at the scene.

**"Possibly. Defiantly violent. Whoever did this had some rage to get rid of." **Sara watches the young man as he takes the liver temperature.** " 96.4 so she has been dead roughly two hours without adding any factors. It has been really cold out here, which would drop her temperature faster than it should naturally drop."**

**"Thanks."** Sara sighs, and begins to process the rest of the scene. After two hours she heads back toward the lab to get the evidence processed as soon as she can. Stopping at the front desk Betty hands her ten new messages. Flipping through them she tosses them in the trash; all of them being from Grissom. She makes her stops dropping of swabs in DNA, tape lifts, and small materials in Trace. She then enters the double doors of the morgue.

Sara sits at her desk after a double shift, and closes her eyes. _Maybe I should go home, and sleep. Or I could get a beer. One wouldn't hurt me, but I shouldn't. No alcohol Sara! you know that. All it takes is one to get addicted again. It doesn't matter how much pain there is I don't need that kind of numb. There is no Catherine though, to got home to, and hold in my arms. No smiling face. No one to gently pull me out of my nightmares. Shit...I miss her so much. Damn it what was I thinking when I left Vegas. Catherine would have been there if I turned to her. It does not matter. No beer. Think about Cath she wouldn't want that for you. She won't want to be the cause of that. No, no beer._ Sara's phone vibrating against her leg drags her out of her thoughts. She looks down at the collar ID, and is slightly confused. It is about four in the afternoon in Vegas; why would Catherine be calling from her house phone? **"Hello?"**

**"Hey!"**

**"Oh, hey Linzz sweetie how are you doing?"**--

Catherine walks down the hall toward her daughter's room. She can hear Linzz chatting away on the phone. _Good God I don't even want to know how much the phone bill is going to cost me this month._ She leans in around the door frame, and clears her throat to get her daughter's attention.

**"I loved the shirt, and necklace how did you kno... Can you hold on a sec? Thanks."**

**"I was just wondering if you wanted anything particular for dinner? I'm out of ideas."**

**"Ummmm... what ever you feel like. I can just have cereal if you don't want to cook."**

**"I'll think of something. How long have you been on the phone?"** Catherine is dreading her daughter's answer.

**"A couple of hours."**

**"With who?"** Catherine doesn't always mind the time if it is Jeremy, Nancy, or her Mom. She thinks it good Linzz stays close with the family. Catherine sure the hell doesn't herself.

**"Sara."** Catherine heart skips a beat at the sound of Sara's name, but at the same time she is hurt that Sara would prefer to have hour long conversations with her daughter when Catherine hadn't heard from her in so long, and she can only keep the brunette on the phone for half an hour at the most.

**"Oh,"** Catherine tries her hardest to keep the emotions out of her voice for her daughter. Just because Sara hurt her doesn't give Catherine any reason to make Linzz feel bad. It is good that her daughter has a strong, smart adult to talk to. **"Just don't stay on the phone too much longer Linzz. Okay?"**

**"Wait Mom! Do you want to talk to her?"**

**"If she wants to talk to me. You two seem to be having an important conversation."**

**"Hold on... Hey Sara do you want to talk to my mom? We can finish this some other time. Alright. I love you too. Bye." **Lindsay holds out the phone to her mom who hesitantly takes it. Catherine waits until she is in her room with the door shut behind her to talk. She knows she has to be careful, or she might say something hurtful to Sara.

She lays down on her bed, and says quietly into the phone, **"Hey."**

**"Hey Cat. I'm sorry I haven't called in a while."**

**"It's been two weeks since the last time we talked Sara."**

**"I know I'm sorry. I've been working nonstop at the lab. You know me. I've constantly been working overtime. I know that you have tried to call me, but by the time I had the chance to call you I hoped you'd be sleeping."**

**"I haven't had much of a chance to sleep either. The lab is still in complete chaos. We have about five cases per person, and we need all the help we can get. Even Ecklie has gotten off his ass to help."**

**"Wow! It must be serious."**

**"You seemed to be having a nice conversation with Lindsay. Do you talk to her often?"**

**"No, not really usually only when she calls me. She needed someone to talk to. You don't mind do you?"** Hurt's grip on Catherine's heart loosens, and relief soothes the spot. She had assumed that Sara hadn't wanted to talked to her, but she had been proven wrong; this is the one time she has ever been glad about that.

**"No, no Sara that's fine. It's better than fine, it is great that Lindsay has found someone to talk to."**

**"Okay. Have you gotten any sleep Baby?"**

**"A couple of hours."**

**"Ugh Catherine! Are you feeling alright? Do you have enough energy to make it through the day, and everything without being on the verge of collapsing after the first hour?"**

**"I'm fine,"** Catherine isn't going to worry Sara with the fact that many days that is how she feels.**"I miss you Sara. I know I tell you this every time we talk, but I really miss you so much."**

**"I miss you too more than you know Baby."**

**"What are you wearing right now?"**

**"Ummm nothing I'm taking a bath...why?"** Sara hears Catherine's breath catch on the other end of the phone.

**"Mmmmm."**

**"Catherine I would really like to do this, but we can't do this right now. I know that Lindsay's awake, and I don't want her to hear you moaning from her bedroom. Especially when she knows that we are on the phone."**

**"Oh come on Sara. Please? I've wanted you so much lately."**

**"Not now Baby. The next time I see you we will do something even better."**

**"When is that going to be."**

**"I'm not sure, but I promise it will be more than worth your wait."**

**"I have no doubt it will be. I have to go make Linzz dinner anyways."**

**"Hey Baby you haven't said anything to Grissom have you?"**

**"About what Sweetie?"**

**"I don't know. The Cole case, or anything."**

**"No, but he has been trying very hard to get me alone with him to ask about it. He has been ever since he picked me up from the airport. He knows Sara, that I was one of the victims. I didn't even have to say anything to him... he knows. Why?"**

**"He's been calling the lab five times a day, and at least ten times a night. I thought he might know where I am at first, but now I know he wants information I'm not comfortable giving him."**

**"Oh."** Sara can hear knocking in the background, and Lindsay asking if she should make them cereal. **"No sweetheart I'll be out in a couple of minutes to make something... sorry about that. I didn't tell him anything Sara. I promised you I wouldn't. Plus why would I risk the chance of him taking you away from me?"**

**"You aren't worried about that are you Cat?"** Catherine wants to lie to Sara, and say no. Tell the brunette that she has no insecurities, and she isn't worried that the man Sara has loved forever will come back into her life, and sweep the brunette off her feet. Taking away one of the most important things it Catherine's life. She knows she can't lie, because lies create distance between people, and there is already enough of that between them.

**"A little."**

**"Baby I love you. You are the most important thing in this world to me, and nothing can ever take me away from you. Not even the destructive tornado Grissom. He had his chance, hell he's had his fifty chances. If her really wanted me bad enough he would have come after me when I left, but he didn't. He might have thought he was doing the right thing by staying away, but if he loved me as much as he claimed he did it wouldn't have stopped him. Now I have found the smartest, sexiest woman on the face of the earth, and I'm not letting her go for anything. Okay?"**

**"Yeah."** Catherine can feel a lump rising in her throat, and she silently chokes it down.

**"We will figure this out Catherine. You, and me, us we will figure out how to make this work. I promise."**

**"I wish I could hug you right now. I miss the support of you're arms. I went to Nancy's the day I got back to pick up Linzz. I told her about us, and what happened. She tried her hardest to comfort me, and she used to be able to do an amazing job of it. All I could think though was how it wasn't your arms around me. Ever since I have felt that way. Except when I hug Linzz; I wish you were here..."** Catherine can hear Sara taking deep shaking breaths in an attempt to control the tears. They are silent for a few minutes longing to touch each other, and see each other's faces. Sara hears Lindsay yell to her mom that she is hungry. **"I...I have to go I've got feed Lindsay...I love you..."**

**"I love you too. Bye Cat."**

**"Bye." **

Sara sighs, she notices her bath water is cold, but she doesn't care. She is too busy trying to piece together a plan in her mind. She refuses to loose Catherine, because of her own fears.

* * *

TBC... 


	25. Chapter 25

I want to apologize for this chapter's length or lack there of compared to the others, but I felt it as the best place to end for now until I can get the next chapters out. I hope you enjoy!-cathandsaraforever55

* * *

Greg sees Catherine cautiously coming down the hall, and leans out of the break room to give her a thumbs up signaling the coast is clear. The whole lab knows that Catherine is trying to avoid Grissom, but why now nobody knows that. Her attempts have increased since a week ago. No one knows the source that caused her to again to increase her alertness except Catherine. Her last talk with Sara had made her furious with Grissom; he is pretty much harassing the brunette. Greg has given up on trying to get information for his gossip circle. Instead he like the rest of the Graveyard, and Swing has increased his efforts in helping the blonde with her task. **"Thanks Greggo!"** She says as she rushes past him to her office quickly shutting, and locking the door behind her. Catherine leans against the door sighing. **"This is ridiculous."** Right after she moves away from the door a knock comes from the other side. Peering through the window next to the door she is confronted by Grissom. **"Awww shit!"**

**"Catherine can I come in, and talk to you?" **Catherine grabs her jacket from the back of her chair, and puts it on before opening the door.

**"Actully Gil. I have to go to a scene, sorry maybe some other time."** Catherine can sense Grissom's presence as he follows slowly behind her as she heads for the door. _God Grissom get off my back. What am I supposed to do if he keeps following me I don't actually have a crime scene waiting. _Catherine lets out a breath of relief when the secretary calls out to Grissom as he passes informing him he has a package. She continues on the pathway to the door, but when she is certain Grissom no longer has his eyes on her she steps into the drying room and closes the door behind her. She is lucky that one out of the two rooms in the lab that do not have glass walls besides for the bathrooms was conveniently on her way. Almost no one ever comes in here unless rarely they need to use the room for a case. It is not like the DNA, Firearms, and Trace labs where people linger. Taking out her phone she calls Greg the only CSI she has seen in the lab tonight.

She is glad when he finally picks up, **"Hey sexy!"**

**"Are you still in the lab?"**

**"Yeah. Why?"**

**"Thank God! Grissom found me, and now I am hiding in the drying room."**

**"Shit Catherine! How much longer is this going to go on for?"**

**"I have no clue. Until the man stops stalking me in the lab I guess."**

**"Okay I'll be there in a minute to scope things out."**

**"Thanks Greg you're a life saver."**

**"I know, and you owe me."**

**"Yeah, yeah I know." **She hangs up the phone not wanting to hear his next response, and sits on the floor waiting.--

Lindsay walks up to the reception desk, and smiles at the familiar secretary**. "Hi Judy, how are you?"**

**"I'm pretty good Lindsay sweetie. How are you?"**

**"I'm pretty good."**

**"Looking for you're mom?"**

**"Sure am. Have you seen her?"**

**"Yep she went down that hall. Would you like me to call her for you?"**

**"Ummm no. Could you give her, or have someone give her the message that I'm waiting for her out back as soon as you can?"**

**"Sure can darling. You have a good day."**

**"Thanks. You too**." Lindsay leaves the lab. She was hoping she would run into Warrick, or Nick who always give her giant bear hugs, and special treatment when they see her, but as she opens the doors to the outside world leaving a land of glass behind she is disappointed that she had no such luck. Quickly she pulls out her phone, and sends a short text before getting into her grandma's car, and buckling her seat belt as the car drives away.--

Catherine hears light knocking on the door. She stands stretching her stiff legs, and moves closer to the door not opening it, waiting. **"It's Greg."** Catherine lets him in, and gives him a quick hug. **"It's clear. He has locked himself in his office."**

**"Thank you so much."**

**"It was no problem; anything for you beautiful. Listen I know it isn't any of my business, but are you feeling okay?"**

**"Yeah I'm fine."** Catherine is suddenly very aware that she is shaking, and tries her hardest to control it.

**"It's just that you are so pale, and have lost so much weight, and seem so tired. I only wanted to ask you for myself."**

**"I appreciate you're concern Greg, but truly I'm fine. I have overworked myself that is all."**

**"Okay." **Catherine is walking back to her office when she see Grissom sitting at his desk. He has aged in a matter of minutes. His eyes show that he is clearly not in the room, and a spark of concern lights in Catherine. **"Oh hell! Greg did all that work for nothing."** Catherine steps into the office, and Grissom doesn't acknowledge her presence. **"Ummm Gil..."** _Is that? Could it be the..._

**"She sent it back."**

**"Who, and what?"** Catherine tries to get Grissom to admit it, and not go into denial.

**"Sara, she sent back the engagement ring. There was no return address."**

**"Oh Gil, I'm sorry."**

**"I was expecting it. It doesn't matter. We need to talk Catherine please sit down." **_Damn Catherine you have to have a heart. _She hesitantly takes a seat on the opposite side of the desk from Grissom. She is wondering if she would be able to out run Grissom in her heels to make it to her car. Catherine lets out a sigh of frustration, and focuses her attention on the man sitting across from her. **"Catherine we both know that you have been avoiding me, and we both know why. All you have to do is admit it. I have been trying to get through to the Days Supervisor in Connecticut to get the detailed information, but I have had no luck. I need you to tell me Catherine what happened. I want to help you."**

**"Gil you are saying all this based on assumptions, and a tiny knowledge of events. You can't seriously believe what you are saying to me can you?"**

**"Catherine look at yo..." **Nick strolls in oblivious to the conversation at hand.

**"Sorry... Catherine another package came for you,"** He hands her a slim nicely wrapped package, **"You met some fine man up in Connecticut didn't you?"**

**"I guess you could say that."**

**"I am also supposed to inform you that you're adorable daughter is waiting out back for you. If I know her well enough, which I feel I do I will add the fact impatiently waiting."**

**"Thanks Nick."**

**"No problem Sweetheart."** He leaves the room, and Catherine quickly glances at Grissom.

**"Sorry Gris I have to got see what Lindsay needs, and why she is out of school in the first place."**

**"Okay. Well I need to let you know then that you are on a week of paid leave. Ecklie agrees with me so yes, I can do that Catherine."**

**"What Gil? Come on!"**

**"Go home, get some rest, and I will stop by sometime this week to talk to you about this."** Catherine completely ignores Grissom's last comment as she storms out of his office.

She has semi cooled down as she reaches the back door. Opening it she looks around for her daughter whom is nowhere to be found. She completely overlooks the figure standing next to her in a black sweatshirt with the hood up, dark jeans, and shades. Finally she realizes that someone is standing next to her, and turns toward them.

**"Sara!"** She practically throws herself into the brunette's arms. She removes her head from Sara's shoulder to look at her, and their lips crash together. They allow each others tongue access to the others mouth instantly. Their tongues wrestle as Catherine tangles her fingers in Sara's hair. They only break away because the lack of air is threatening to knock them both unconscious. **"What are you doing here? How did you get out of work? This is dangerous for you. Why didn't you just wait at my house?"**

**"You're are shaking Catherine. Lets get you home, and then I will answer you're questions. Give me the keys you are too tired to drive."** Catherine willingly passes the brunette the keys. She slides her hand around Sara's waist, and is reluctant to let go of her when they reach the car. Sara brushes her lips against Catherine's before forcing herself to untangling from the blonde.

Catherine immediately latches onto Sara when they get out of the car. They enter the house, and Catherine leads the brunette to her bedroom. She lies on the bed, turning to her side, and propping her head up with her arm. Sara lays next to her, and strokes the blonde's cheek with her thumb. **"So how did you manage this?"**

**"Well the first thing I had to do was scheme it with you're daughter, because she was the one that had to go into the lab sense I can't. I have maxed out on overtime for the rest of the month already, and Ethan for some reason was impressed with my solve rate, and let me have the next two weeks off. So I had Linzz, and Lily pick me up at the airport, and then we stopped here so I could drop my stuff off before going to the lab. Was it a good surprise, better then the package I sent you yesterday?"**

**"I haven't had he chance to open it, but I'm pretty certain it is much better." **Catherine yawns she is exhausted, and she wishes she wasn't, because she would be having her way with Sara right now if she had the energy. **"So I have the next week off, because Grissom decided to leave it to himself to discuss his concerns about me with Ecklie. How lovely huh?"**

**"Well now we can spend more time together."**

**"Yeah." **Catherine lifts her shaking hand, and tugs on the bottom of Sara's shirt. The brunette gets the hint, and takes it off. Catherine summons the energy to slip Sara's pants, and underwear off. She unclasps the brunette's bra, and runs her finger lightly across the soft skin on the bottom of Sara's breast; goosebumps follow her touch. Sara carefully removes Catherine's shirt, and bra followed by her pants, and underwear. They crawl under the warm blankets, and Sara takes Catherine in her arms. She listens to the sound of the blonde's breathing until Catherine has drifted off to sleep. She kisses the top of the blonde's head, and then closes her own eyes and falls into a peaceful sleep.

Sara wakes up, and looks at the clock. She slides out from beneath Catherine, and gets dressed before leaving a note, and rushing out to pick up Lindsay from school.

Catherine wakes up to find the bed empty. She panics until she finds a note from Sara. It says that she should get ready to go to the movies with Lindsay, and her new boyfriend. She stares at the note in disbelief not only from Sara's latest actions. _Lindsay has a boyfriend?_

* * *

TBC... 


	26. Chapter 26

Sara pulls up outside the school and smiles as she watches Lindsay interact with her friends. A boy with spiky hair and a leather jacket comes up behind the blonde, and wraps his arms around her waist. Sara notes how quick Lindsay's friends are to disperse. Her jaw drops as the teenager engages in tongue wrestling with the boy. Anger rises as she observes the boys hands sliding slowly down Lindsay's back. _Okay this isn't awkward at all. I'll say something if his hands reach their destination before Linzz pulls away. _Sara adverts her eyes trying not to be nosy. She looks over to see Linzz pull away just in time. _Thank God she saved me from what I would have had to do! I knew I loved that kid for some reason. Thank God! I will just have to remind her again that I love her, and I now have a new reason added to my quite long list._ Lindsay kisses the boy again before pulling away, and turning her back to him. Her eyes lock with Sara's and red quickly burns its way onto her cheeks.

Opening the door Linzz gets in, and turns away from Sara. **"Hey Linzz."**

"**Hey."**

"**You don't sound that excited to see me."** Sara is trying to thin the blanket of awkwardness between them.

"**Well considering what you just saw."**

"**I won't tell your mom if that's what you're worried about."** Linzz shifts slightly so that Sara can see more of her face. Her cheeks are still bright red.

"**Really?"**

"**Yeah no worries your secret is safe with me. It's not like I haven't done it before myself."** Linzz looks at her mouth slightly open in disbelief.

"**Why are you being so cool about this?"**

"**Because there is nothing wrong with kissing a guy Linzz. Plus I'm your friend not your mother. The only time I'll scold you is if I find out you are doing something stupid like drugs. Plus I don't think your mom would let you go see a separate movie tonight with him if she knew about this."** Lindsay gives Sara a nervous smile.

"**Ummmm did you tell her who we were going with?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Oh sh…"** She catches herself, and glances nervously over at Sara to see her reaction. Surprisingly there is no anger on the brunette's face only amusement at her almost slip.

"**I don't care if you swear around me Linzz. Like I said before we are friends, and it is clear that you respect me so I won't take it as a sign of disrespect. I don't want you to think of me as a parent figure that you have to be cautious around. I'm here for you, and you can be as open as you want. I won't tell anyone I promise. A bit of advice though watch your language around your mother if she finds out I'm encouraging you to swear around me I will have an earful to deal with."** Sara looks over at Linzz, and winks sending the girl into a fit of laughter. **"So why is this oh shit?"**

"**I haven't told her I have a boyfriend yet."**

"**What!? Linzz it's been almost a month."**

"**I know I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm afraid of what she will think."**

"**Well we will find out tonight won't we?" **Sara leans over, and pulls the young girl into a hug. **"I've missed you kid."**

"**I've missed you too."** The ride is silent, but not awkward. Linzz looks over, and gives Sara a puzzled look when she drives past the street to her house.** "I thought we would go to the mall, and get you some new close for your date tonight. Though I don't know how long they will stay unwrinkled."** Sara says teasingly. She couldn't help it; she chuckles as a light pink finds its way back onto Lindsay's face. The only problem is she forgot whose daughter she is dealing with.

"**I'm not the only one who is going to have that problem tonight." **It is Lindsay's turn to laugh as Sara feels her jaw drop for the second time in a span of no longer than ten minutes. Sara opens her mouth to say something, but the words refuse to come out.

"**Oh come on Sara it's obvious. The way you two look at each other, and talk about each other. Just remember I like you and everything, but I'll kick your ass if you break my mom's heart." **Sara is still struggling to make the words come out. She pulls into a parking space turning off the car she faces Lindsay.

"**So you are really okay with this sweetie?"**

"**Of course Sara; as long as you love her."**

"**I do. Listen you can still come to me. I don't want this to change anything between us. I won't tell your mom anything you confide in me with unless it is life threatening. That's where I draw the line."**

"**I know, and it doesn't Sara you are still one of my best friends. Maybe we can find you some clothes for your hot date. Some lingerie maybe."** Sara swats Lindsay lovingly.

"**That's nice Linzz, real nice. Let's go get you some clothes."** Lindsay smiles at Sara, and silently laughs to herself as she observes the red that has crept onto the brunette's cheeks at her last comment.

Sara is sitting outside the dressing room stall waiting impatiently for Lindsay to come out. The teenager has been in there for ten minutes and still has not shown Sara her first outfit. Finally the door opens, and Lindsay steps out from behind it in a skirt that seems way too short in Sara's opinion, and a shirt that has a deeper plunge in the neckline than Sara feels necessary. **"The skirt kinda screams easy access, don't you think Linzz?"** The blonde flashes her a look that clearly states 'duh that's the point!' **"Never mind. As for the shirt hun it's pretty, but you don't need such a deep neckline to show off your cleavage. Trust me, I know. I've been drooling over it for seven years of my life."**

"**Ewwww…. Sara that was way too much information! I know you are talking about my mom I'm not retarded!…So not the right outfit huh?"**

"**I'm positive your mom wouldn't let you out of the house."**

"**Okay I'll be back out."**

"**Alright try not to take an hour this time."** Lindsay stops turning her head Sara's direction, and sticks her tongue out at the brunette before retreating back into the dressing room.

"**So did Mom like her surprise?"** Linzz's voice floats out from beneath the stall door.

"**Yeah she did."**

"**I bet you had a busy afternoon."**

"**Lindsay! Would you really want to know that stuff….I mean it's your mom? But if you must know yes I did, sleeping."**

"**Well putting it that way I'm not certain I want to know whether you are lying or not."**

"**Sweetie I'm not. Your mom was so tired she could barely hold herself up."**

"**Again?"**

"**What do you mean again? Does it happen often?"**

"**Yeah almost all the time. I ask her if she is okay…"** Linzz steps out of the dressing room, and spins for Sara.

"**Pants! We are on the right track. Different shirt."**

"**Alright. So I ask her if she is okay, but you know her she is too stubborn to admit that she isn't. I advise her to get some sleep, because she is obviously tired, and not giving herself time to heal. She goes in her room, but I don't know who she thinks she is fooling she doesn't sleep. I hear her in there bawling her heart out. I figure she misses you, but I know there is more to it. Sometimes I try to comfort her, but there is only so much I can do. I tell her to eat and she takes two bites before pushing her plate away. She will come into my room most mornings to snuggle. She is treating her body like shit. I am so worried about her. The way she took care of herself wasn't alright before, and it defiantly isn't alright now after all that has happened. I'm afraid that one day she will push her body too hard, and it will give out on her. Promise me something Sara?"**

"**Sure Honey, what is it?"**

"**Help her."**

"**I'll do my best. That's all I can promise."**

"**That's all I'm asking for."**

Sara stands, and pulls the blonde into her arms. She can see the tears building in those crystal blue eyes. She wishes she could take all of Linzz's pain away. She is too young to have to be dealing with this; taking care of her mother. **"It will be okay. We will find a way to help her through this. Now get your butt back in the dressing room, and try on a different shirt. At the rate we are going by the time we get back to your house we will have five minutes to get ready before we have to leave." **Sara is still waiting for Lindsay when her phone begins to vibrate in her pocket. **"Well speak of the Devil! You will never guess who is calling me."**

"**Mom?"**

"**Damn it! How'd you know?"**

"**I'd pick up the phone before she starts to get pissed. She has been very moody lately."**

"**Thanks for the heads up Linzz it is very helpful now!"**

"**No problem. Pick up the phone!"**

"**Hello sleepyhead."**

"**Lindsay has a boyfriend?"**

"**It is nice to hear your voice too Cat. Yes she does."**

"**What do you know about him?"**

"**What he looks like… why are you grilling me? Linzz you got me in trouble!" **Lindsay chuckles as she steps back into the room. Sara gives her a thumbs up, and silently signals to her to hurry up changing.

"**Well obviously you knew about him, and I didn't."**

"**I found out about him like two weeks ago. Cat, I figured you knew so I didn't mention it. Not that I really had the chance to since we were both busy whenever we had the chance to talk. Listen you aren't in the best mood right now, and I don't want to get into it. I want to have a good night. I recommend you have a relaxing bath, pick out the movie you want to see tonight, and be ready by five."**

"**Why aren't the kids picking out something to watch?"**

"**They have. What they are going to see."**

"**I don't know about this…"**

"**Relax it will be fine. I have to go. I will see you later. Bye."** Sara hangs up the phone without waiting for a response. Lindsay comes out of the dressing room with a nervous expression painted on her face. **"Don't worry Linzz I got it under control. So are you going to help me pick out my outfit now?"**- -

Sara and Linzz enter the house to find Catherine staring off into space in the dark living room. The blonde has an expression of defeat on her face. She seems small and fragile instead of the familiar strong woman they both know and love. **"You should probably go talk to her,"** Sara whispers into Lindsay's ear, **"I'll go get ready, and then we will switch places. If you finish talking before I'm done I think it might be better to just leave her to her own mind right now."** Lindsay nods, and takes a deep breath before going to face her mom. Sara retreats to Catherine's bathroom to take a quick shower.

Standing against the door frame Sara is torn between remaining where she is, and drooling over Catherine, or leaving her spot, and joining Catherine on the couch to comfort her. She knows what her decision will be, but she takes her time admiring Catherine's appearance. The blonde is wear a long-sleeve, red, silk, button up shirt with tight black jeans. Her hair is slightly wavy the way Catherine wears it when she allows it to dry naturally. Sara can see the new bracelet she sent the blonde peeking out from the sleeve of her shirt. Sara crosses the room, and sits next to the woman who is perched on the edge of the couch with her head in her hands. It appears she has still not noticed Sara's presence in the room. Sara places a single red rose in Catherine's lap, and begins to rub her back. Catherine flinches under Sara's touch, but Sara notes it is much less noticeable then the last time she saw the blonde. **"Sorry,"** Catherine says barely audible from between her hands.

"**For what?"**

"**Flinching. I know it bothers you, and for the way I treated you on the phone."**

"**It's okay Baby."** Catherine removes her hands from her face, and twirls the rose in her fingers for a few minutes before looking at Sara. There are tears traveling down her cheeks. Sara reaches up, and wipes them away. Catherine gives the brunette a weak smile, and leans in brushing her lips against Sara's. Sara caresses her cheek as she searches the dark blue depths of Catherine's eyes. **"Are you feeling better?"**

"**A little."**

"**You looks less tired. You look beautiful actually."**

"**Thanks,"** Catherine's voice is still quiet. A small smile lingers on her lips coated in sadness. **"You look nice."**

"**Thanks Baby. What's wrong?"**

"**It's not important."**

"**Hey anything in that mind of yours is important to me, because it is important to you, so tell me what is wrong."**

"**It's nothing……. It's just…my baby girl is growing up too fast."** Another tear makes an appearance on Catherine's cheek. Sara kisses it away, and wraps her arm around Catherine.

"**Oh Baby,"** Sara says lovingly with a small smile on her face. Catherine looks back up at her.

"**You think I'm being ridiculous don't you?"**

"**No Cat you are being a mom. She has to grow up sometime though."**

"**Yeah I guess so, but if I could just delay it for a couple more years…… or thirty…"** Sara quietly chuckles, and Catherine nudges the brunette with her body. **"Hey I can dream can't I!"**

"**Sure you can."** Catherine kisses Sara who deepens the kiss quickly. Catherine is about to straddle Sara's lap when they hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

"**Perfect timing Linzz,"** Catherine whispers under her breath, and Sara cracks up. She is still laughing when Lindsay comes through the room.

"**What's so funny?"** Lindsay asks giving Sara a puzzled look. When Sara can't manage to get enough air to respond she turns to her mom.

"**You got me. I made one comment, and now she can't breathe, and…."** Catherine and Linzz begin to laugh as Sara falls off the couch still doubled over in laughter. Catherine is the first to compose herself, "**I think she might be tired."** Lindsay nods, and attempts to pull herself together. Sara looks up from the floor her face bright red, and catches the laughter in Catherine's ice blue eyes.

"**Sorry."--**

They are sitting outside a small house. Sara turns, and looks at Lindsay who looks like she is about to barf. **"Nervous?"**

"**A little."**

"**You sure this is the place?"**

" **Yep."**

"**It will be okay sweetie," **Catherine swirls in her seat and gives her daughter a reassuring smile. Lindsay steps out of the car, and goes up to the door. Sara watches Catherine's eyes go wide at her first sight of the boy. **"Jesus he is a punk,"** she whispers. Sara chuckles _thank God she wasn't the one to pick up Lindsay she probably would have had a heart attack._

"**Don't say anything Cat. You have to support her decision."**

"**I…I know, but he's a punk."**

"**Keep quiet okay? She values your opinion above anyone else's." **

"**I know, I know, but look at him." **Sara can't help but laugh at how Catherine's mind suddenly becomes one tracked when it comes to her daughter. Sara rests her hand on Catherine's thigh. She feels the now familiar small jump, but it diverts the blonde's attention stopping her from murdering the boy with her eyes.

"**Give him a chance."**

"**I will. What makes you think that I won't?"**

"**You look like you are shooting flames from your eyes at him."**

"**Oh are my intentions that obvious,"** Catherine says with a smile. Sara quickly removes her hand from Catherine when Lindsay opens the door. She doesn't want to get the girl in more trouble if Lindsay hasn't told her mom that she knows about the two of them. The two teenagers get in the car, and both older women turn to get a good look at Lindsay's boyfriend.

"**Umm Johnny this is my mom,"** Sara can see Catherine's obvious effort to be nice. **"And this is Sara she's my mom's ummm friend. Sara, mom this is Johnny."**

"**Hi."**

"**Hey Johnny it's nice to meet you,"** Lindsay throws Sara an appreciative look for acting more than civil toward her boyfriend.

Halfway through the ride there Sara glances through the mirror, and winks at Lindsay. She observes as the Johnny whispers something in her ear, and she nods then he says something else, and Linzz lightly hits him. He lets out an oufff, and says, **"Not as hot as you Babe."** Catherine whips around in her seat, and seems to be contemplating the best way to kill the teenager. He glances at her and sinks further into his seat.

Sara decides to attempt to lighten the mood. She winces before turning to Johnny as they stop at the red light. **"Now you're in trouble. You thought Lindsay was bad now you have to deal with her mother."** She says this with a playful smile on her lips. He smiles at her gratefully as Catherine's attention turns to Sara. Catherine hits Sara's arm not as hard as she can but hard enough to leave a sting. **"Owwww shit Catherine! That hurt."**

"**Sara watch your language."**

"**What, they are teenagers I'm sure they know every swear in the book."** Catherine rolls her eyes again her mood back to irritated. _Maybe this wasn't the best idea. Linzz didn't express the severity of her mood. Well hopefully she will be better when she is distracted by the movie. I have no clue what is going on with her. I have defiantly been away too long.--_

Standing in the theater Catherine is watching Lindsay with a sad expression as Sara buys the tickets. Sara appears at her side, **"This isn't a movie that is going to make you cry is it?"**

"**No."**

"**Catherine it is called **_**PS I Love You**_**. Are you sure about that?"**

"**No."**

"**She will be fine Catherine."**

"**Huh?"**

"**You are looking at Linzz like you are about to bawl, and she hasn't even gone into the movie yet she is buying popcorn."**

"**Oh."** Lindsay and Johnny come back over to them. Catherine and Johnny are avoiding everyone's eyes. Linzz and Sara are looking at each other. Sara is trying to convey to Linzz what is wrong without words. Linzz mouths the word later, and Sara nods. 

"**So we are going to head into the theater."**

"**Okay have fun you two,"** says Catherine who has finally managed to get her mouth to work.

They are halfway to the door when Linzz turns toward them again. **"Oh Sara, try to keep your hands off my mom as much as possible."** Then she disappears into the theater.

Sara glances at Catherine who's jaw has hit the floor. **"She didn't…Did she mean….No she doesn't…Did you tell her?"** Sara shakes her head too overcome by laughter to talk. After she calms down she takes Catherine's hand, and pulls her behind the doors.

_Ten minutes into the movie, and Catherine is already crying._ Sara wraps her arms around Catherine's shoulders. Catherine focuses her attention on Sara, and smiles. She gets up, and sits on Sara's lap. Sara snakes her arms around Catherine's, and rest her head on Catherine's upper arm. **"I thought you said this movie wouldn't make you cry,"** she whispers in Catherine's ear

"**Yeah with a title like that you should have known better."**

"**I did. I just trusted your word."**

"**Well I was lying. Listen I'm sorry."**

"**For what?"**

"**My mood swings. I treated you horribly again when you were just trying to help me, and lighten the mood."**

"**Well I had been warned about your mood swing. I wasn't aware how extreme they were though. So you shouldn't be apologizing I should be for provoking them."**

"**Who warned you?"**

"**Who do you think Cat?"**

"**Linzz."**

"**I can't say yes or no she has my word that I won't tell you what she does or does not say."**

"**I understand."** Sara brushes the tears away from Catherine's face. **"She is so smart sometimes I underestimated her."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Well I still treat her like she is a little kid. I should have know she had figured out about us. That she observes more than I give her credit for."**

"**I think all moms do that. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself."**

"**I guess. How do you get along so well with her? I mean we are okay we don't fight as much, but we don't really talk."**

"**I'm her friend not her mom, and I remind her of that frequently so naturally we will have a different relationship. Do you wish you had a different one?"**

"**Sometimes."**

"**A daughter mother relationship is special Cath don't ever give it up. It is hard growing up without one. Trust me."**

"**I do. I know you've been through more than you are willing to tell me yet. I have no doubt you had that experience from what you've about your past so far. I mean with what happened with your mom in dad you couldn't really have the connection with your biological mother."** Catherine leans in and kisses Sara nibbling on her bottom lip to grant her tongue access into the brunette's mouth. She slips her tongue into the back of Sara's throat and enjoys Sara's quiet moan that they can only hear. Pulling away she turns back to the movie, and leans into the brunette basking in her warmth.

* * *

TBC... sorry I procrastinated with other things again. I have seen PS I Love you it was a very good but sad movie. I don't think it is still out in theaters, but I needed a sad movie I was certain of. The next chapter will be out as soon as I can sort out what I want to put in it. Thanks for all your reviews it is so great to hear what you think! 


	27. Chapter 27

Catherine glances up at Sara over the rim of her glasses and smirks. The blonde is curled up on the couch reading in a black tank top and jeans. Sara is leaning up against the doorframe fresh from the shower, while Lindsay lounging in the chair multi-tasking. **"What?"** The brunette says a puzzled expression on her face.

"**Nice pajama pants."**

Sara looks down at her white tank top her eyes floating to the patch of bare skin showing between her tops and bottoms onto her bright green Lucky Charms pants. **"Hey don't diss the pants they're comfortable."** She flashes the Catherine a wide gap toothed smile. **"I'm gonna get some ice cream before Lindsay's show comes on. Do either of you want some?"**

"**I'll have some."** Lindsay says not looking up from what she is doing.

"**What about you Cat?"**

"**No thanks, I'm not hungry."**

"**Do you want something else?"**

"**No."** Catherine locks eyes with Sara, but she does not change her answer after she discovers the worry in those dark pools.

"**Are you sure?"**

"**Sara drop it."** Catherine watches the brunette's jaw tighten before she leaves the room. She can feel her daughter's eyes burning holes in her as Lindsay continues to stare.

"**She is just worried about you Mommy. We both are."** Catherine believes she heard her heart break at Lindsay's use of affection. At the same time she knows her daughter did this on purpose knowing the affect it would have on her mother.

"**There is nothing to worry about Linzz. I'm fine."**

"**Yeah rig…"** A loud bang rings through the house cutting Lindsay off. **"Sara are you okay!?"**

"**Fine."**

"**Are you going to check on her or should I?"**

"**Linzz you heard her. Let her be."** Catherine has a suspicion of what just happened, but she is not going to vocalize her thoughts with Lindsay.

Sara comes back into the room, and crosses it handing Lindsay her bowl. **"Are you texting, and on AIM at the same time?"**

"**Yes. I don't have AIM on my phone."** Sara shakes her head a small smile appearing on her face. It quickly disappears as she glances at Catherine who is focused on the brunette's hand. She hides it behind her back before taking a seat next to the blonde leaving space between them. Sara gives Catherine her bowl of ice cream, which has two spoons sticking out of it.

"**I said I'm not hungry."**

"**You are eating some of it, or I will force feed you. Please Catherine I haven't seen you eat all day."**

"**Fine. Linzz why don't you go get your pajamas on before your show starts."** She sets the bowl on the table in front of her, and waits for her daughter to leave the room before turning to Sara. **"Let me see your hand."**

"**Why? There is nothing wrong with it."**

"**Cut the bullshit Sara! Let me see your hand."** Reluctantly the brunette places her hand in Catherine's. Her knuckles are bright red and bruises are already starting to form on them as well as up her ring finger, and pinky. **"Jesus Sara. What did you do?"** Catherine senses she already knows the answer to her question, but she wants the younger woman to confirm it.

"**I...I ummm punched the refrigerator." **Sara turns her head not able to face the blonde. Catherine lifts Sara's hand to her mouth and places light kisses on each knuckle.

"**Let's put something cold on this to stop the swelling."** Sara turns her head toward Catherine shock plastered on her face.

"**You mean you're not upset?"**

"**Why would I be upset? I'm worried not upset Honey. You did some real damage to yourself."**

"**You shouldn't be the one worrying, I should. I haven't seen you eat anything today, and you had an apple yesterday. I'm scared for you Catherine. Baby what is this about?"**

"**Sara I'm fine. I just had this discussion with my daughter. Come on." **Catherine stands up and gently tugs on Sara's hand. Sara looks her straight in the eye letting the blonde know this conversation is only over for now. She follows Catherine into the kitchen and stands with the bag of peas on her hand that Catherine passed her. Catherine leans up against the counter and focuses her attention on a spot on the floor. The air is heavy with hurt, worry, and fear.

Sara stands observing Catherine until Lindsay's voice travels into the room. _**House**_** is coming on!"** She passes Catherine the bag of peas, and waits for the blonde to put them away. She pulls Catherine into a hug despite the blonde's small protests at first. Catherine looks up at Sara tears building in her eyes. She is trying her hardest in stopping them from descending onto her cheeks causing Sara to see her true weakness. Sara. The only person who has ever been able to make Catherine feel the way she does. The only person who can stir so many insecurities in her; yet at the same time so much love. She buries her face back in Sara's neck before her tears get the chance to make themselves known. Sara kisses the top of Catherine's head, and pulls her closer. She can see Catherine's attempt to hide her tears clearly, but if Catherine doesn't want her to know right now Sara won't say anything. **"Are you two coming, or are you going to make out all day!? I'm not going to keep this on pause forever."**

"**Be there in a minute Linzz you can start it without us," **Catherine shouts realizing her words might be coming out muffled she removes her head from Sara's shoulder. She glances up, and catches Sara's lips with her own. Her hand slowly moves up to stroke Sara's jaw line. Catherine pulls away before her approaching lust can get a hold of her mind. **"Linzz is waiting."--**

Lindsay pauses the show for the fifth time. **"Lindsay we are never going to finish this show if you keep pausing it!"** Catherine comments to her daughter.

"**I know. I know, but I have a good reason this time."**

"**Sure you do."**

"**I do. I have to pee."**

"**Well then go. You do have school tomorrow, and I want you in bed before twelve."**

"**Okay, okay I'll hurry."**

Catherine catches Sara's stare, and rolls her eyes. **"My God and she was so eager to watch this."**

"**Hey I heard that!"**

"**I thought you were heading toward the bathroom."**

"**I am I just wanted to eavesdrop, but you spoiled my cover."** They hear the bathroom door shut.

Catherine leans in so only Sara can hear her, **"I was wondering. Do you seriously think you are going to get away with wearing your pajamas to bed?"**

Sara raises her eyebrow, and smirks. **"I don't see why not."**

"**Just because I can't have my way with you yet doesn't mean I can't feel you skin against mine."**

"**Mmmm no matter how nice that sounds I'm not sure Cat. I happen to recall a certain someone finding it very amusing last night to rip the covers off of me, and cause me to freeze my ass off until I gave in and curled up in a ball then gave me the covers back."**

Sara watches Catherine as she runs her finger along the bottom of the bowl then place her finger in her mouth to lick the liquid off. _God she is too sexy. She knows what she is doing to me._ She focuses her attention back to the blonde who is smirking having an idea of where Sara had gone in her head. Catherine puts on the most innocent face she can, and restrains herself from bursting out laughing as she says, **"Why Babe I don't recall anyone ever doing that, but remind me later to check and make sure your ass is still there for you."**

"**Of course you don't. I will defiantly have to take you up on that offer, but still I prefer to keep my clothes on."**

"**Well you have left me no choice. You are in my house so you will follow my rules Sweetie. There happens to now be a rule in this house that states the only person allowed to wear clothes to bed is Lindsay."**

"**What about me?"** Lindsay asks as she reenters the room.

"**Nothing important sweetheart."** Catherine looks over at Sara whom is trying her best to pout, but as soon as she looks into Catherine's eyes is failing miserably.—

Catherine glances at the clock and is relieved to see that she has gotten a few hours of sleep after dropping Lindsay off. Her attention is drawn to Sara's slumbering form. Rays of light are caressing the brunette's cheek. _She looks so peaceful._ Catherine knows she should let the brunette sleep as long as she wants, but the blonde's body won't let her do that. Before it registers in her mind what she is doing Catherine begins to run her fingers up and down Sara's arm. She observes as a smile creeps onto the brunette's face in her sleep. Sara rolls and faces Catherine who places light kisses on the brunette's lips. Sara's eyes flutter open. _She is so adorable when she first wakes up. I didn't realized how much I missed this until she came back._ Sara finally is able to focus her vision, and is very pleased to see Catherine leaning over her. Catherine's heart begins to melt with the smile that appears on Sara's face. **"Morning sweetie. Sorry I woke you."**

"**Mmmm don't apologize you can wake me up like that anytime. What time is it?"** Sara asks as she stretches out.

"**Almost eleven."**

"**Oh. Wow I haven't slept this much in a long time."** Catherine smiles, and captures Sara's lips. Their kiss started out as innocent, but quickly is fueled with passion. Sara gently pushes Catherine back against the bed and moves she that she is propped up leaning over the blonde. Catherine takes Sara's bottom lip into her mouth, and sucks, nips and licks it as she pleases. Sara lets out a small moan, and Catherine slips her tongue into Sara's mouth letting out a whimper as Sara's tongue meets hers. Sara slides her hand up starting at Catherine's waist to cup the blonde's breast. Catherine moans as Sara's fingers graze over her hardened nipple. Sara moves her hand back to the hem of Catherine's shirt, and hooks her fingers underneath it. She feels Catherine tense beneath her, and stops as Catherine stops returning her kiss.

Sara pulls away, and looks down at the older woman. **"Cat are you okay?"** Sara watches as the blonde nods her eyes, and mouth squeezed shut. Sara removes her body from Catherine's to give the woman some space. She waits patiently for Catherine to open her eyes. Finally Catherine turns on her side to face Sara, but she refuses to lock eyes with the brunette.

"**I'm sorry."**

"**Cat, baby it's not your fault."** Sara cautiously pulls the blonde into her. Catherine tangles her hands into Sara's hair and rubs the brunette's jaw with her thumb. She begins to kiss Sara's neck letting her teeth graze the flesh, and her tongue soothe behind it. **"No, Catherine stop."** Catherine pulls away and briefly locks eyes with Sara before turning to lay on her back. Sara managed a glimpse of the hurt, and confusion playing in the blonde's features. She slides up close to Catherine, and whispers in her ear, **"I can wait."**

"**What if I don't want to wait any longer Sara? My mind won't let me do what the rest of me wants to. I want to be able to show you just how much I love you, but I can't."**

"**I know how much you love me Cat. I see it in your eyes when I look at you. I see it when I catch you staring at me. I feel it when you kiss me. I know how much you love me, and I can wait for the rest."** A small smile appears on Catherine's face and she snuggles herself back into Sara. They lay there in silence until Catherine's phone starts to ring. Catherine tries to ignore it not wanting to move from Sara's warmth. **"You should probably get that."** Catherine nods and rips herself away from Sara.

Catherine picks up the phone, **"Hello?"**

Sara watches Catherine's features change, and waits until she hangs up the phone. Catherine jumps out of bed frantically throwing on her robe. **"Catherine is everything okay? Is Linzz okay? Catherine answer me!" **

Catherine is opening her bedroom door when Sara attempts to get out of bed. She turns her head in Sara's direction, and Sara notes how all the color has drained out of her face. **"No Sara you need to stay."**

"**Why?"**

"**Grissom is here."**

* * *

TBC...


	28. Chapter 28

Sara sits on the bed paralyzed long after Catherine has left her view. Finally her mind turns back on and she is able to function. _Grissom is here. Okay. Grissom is here….can't let Cat do this on her own. On the other hand Grissom is here. No! Pull yourself together Catherine needs you. Grissom is here. Okay Sara I think you have established that. Clothes. Clothes, I need clothes!_ Sara untangles herself from the blankets, and searches the room for clothes. She is pulling on her shirt as she leaves the room her heart is pounding; threatening to explode, and her hands are shaking making it difficult for her to finish her task. _Breath. Slow deep breaths. No matter what remember you need to breath or you will be no help to Catherine._ The brunette stands around the corner, and tunes her ears into the conversation taking place in the next room. She is struggling to shut off the annoying voice in the back of her head that is commanding her to turn around and wait for Catherine in the bedroom. Grissom's voice forces its way into her mind. **"Catherine why are you being so stubborn?"**

"**Because Gil what is going on with me is none of your business unless I invite you into my life!"**

"**You could at least tell me name of the other victim."**

"**No Gris. Why are you pushing so hard?"**

"**Because Catherine you are hiding something from me."**

"**That's my right Grissom. You do not need to be involved in every aspect of my life."**

"**Well I'm sorry. When did that change? Last time I checked you were even inviting me into your sex life!"**

"**Don't go there Grissom. Things change!"**

"**Tell me who the other person is Catherine, and then I will leave."**

"**No Gil. What the hell? You know I can't do that even if I wanted to. I agreed to protect the identity of both victims."**

"**It is a closed case Catherine we both know you don't have to, and it will leak into the media sooner or later."**

"**So wait until then."**

"**Fine. Please Catherine tell me what has happened to you."**

"**I don't know what you are talking about Gil."**

"**I'm not blind. I thought we were friends."**

"**We are, but I don't want to talk about it."** Sara can feel her anger rising at Grissom's unwavering persistence. She wants him to leave Catherine alone. The blonde has been through enough, and if she can help it she will at least change the direction of his focus. She takes a deep breath trying to force the lump in her throat back down. She quietly steps into the room, and is unnoticed by Grissom who is 

standing with his back to her as he stares out the window. She briefly glances at Catherine who's expression has horror written all over it. She gives the blonde a weak smile, and is about to say something as Grissom begins to speak again not turning around.

"**What do you mean you don't want to talk about it Catherine? I thought nothing happened." **Sara watches the anger flash across the blonde's face the same anger Sara feels burning inside. She catches Catherine's attention just before the blonde is about to snap back, and puts a finger over her lips. Catherine wants to protest but she sees the anger, and hurt playing in Sara's eyes so she stops herself.

Sara takes another deep breath, and begins to speak her voice coming out in barely more than a whisper. **"I was the other victim Gil. Now you can leave Catherine alone." **Grissom whips around after hearing the familiar voice of the woman who still owns his heart.

"**Sara I…"** He stops as the brunette holds up her hand and crosses the room taking as seat on the couch next to the blonde.

"**Grissom I want you to leave Catherine alone about this. She said she doesn't want to talk."** Grissom nods and takes a seat in the chair facing the two women his legs too weak to hold him up anymore.

"**Sara where have you been? I've been so worried about you. What are you doing here? Have you been here the whole time?"**

"**I'm visiting my…my friend Gil. Am I not allowed to do that?"** Catherine is slightly hurt that Sara called her a friend, but she knows the brunette must be on overload so she doesn't push the issue. She wants to reach out and give Sara as much comfort as she can, but she senses the younger woman would refuse physical contact if she tried.

"**How long have you been here?"**

"**A few days. Now will you please leave Gil, Catherine doesn't need this."**

"**No Sara, sweetie its fine. I will tell Gil. I owe it to him, but I couldn't give him half of the story I would feel bad. Maybe after you can tell him what happened to you? Gil you are going to be here for a while. I'm going to make coffee and get some clothes on then I will be bad. Will the two of you be okay alone?"** Catherine gets two small nods and is semi-satisfied as she leaves the room. _Sara didn't have to do that. It was sweet. This could have all been avoided though if I had paid more attention to Grissom in the first place._ Catherine attempts to pick up pieces of the quiet conversation in the other room as she starts the coffee. So far it seems to only be small talk. She enters the living room having put on jeans and a tank top carefully balancing three cups of steaming coffee in her hands. Sara rushes over to the blonde to help and takes a cup subtly grazing the older woman's hand. She sits on the couch and glances around. The air is heavy with emotions that each person is afraid to bring out into the open. Catherine sips her coffee and sighs trying to think of the best way to start. She feels Sara rubbing small circles on her back. She is not sure if the brunette is doing it to comfort her or comfort herself, but she doesn't mind because it is nice. **"I guess it all started right after I had talked to you about Sara…"** Catherine senses Sara tense beside her at the mention of her name. Both people listen to her with full 

attention as she once again repeats her experience. _You'd think the more I tell it the less it would hurt and the less it would affect me, but it doesn't it is just as bad as the first time._ Catherine returns to the room, and takes in the two people surrounding her. Grissom has an expression of pure horror on his face, and if she is not mistaken she can see tears in his eyes. The heat of Sara's anger is radiating off of the brunette and onto Catherine.

"**I'm sorry Catherine I shouldn't have pushed I didn't realize it was so bad."**

"**I haven't told you the after effects yet Grissom. I thought Sara should get her word in first."**

"**I don't know if that is a good idea Cat."** The brunette observes the bags under Catherine's eyes and watches her yawn. **"On the other hand why don't I finish the story, and you can go get some sleep."**

"**I won't be able to sleep. Not after what I just talked about. Not without y…."** Catherine realizes what she is saying and stops herself. They hadn't said anything to Grissom, and Catherine has gotten the impression that Sara is not planning on it.

Sara knows what Catherine wants to say so she takes a pillow, and places it on her lap before making the blonde lay her head down on the younger woman's lap. She runs her hands through Catherine's silky blonde locks, and looks up at Grissom. **"I remember my jaw hitting the floor as I was frozen staring at the back of a familiar head that held very familiar blonde hair. I knew right away who it was. I had spent the past seven years with that person, and you kind of just know those things…you know? Still I couldn't believe Catherine was sitting in my office. I went over so many different situations, yet I never saw it coming."** Catherine drifts off listening to the sound of Sara's beautiful voice lulling her to sleep.

Sara finishes telling Grissom about the trial, and looks up into his eyes for the first time. Her heart is being ripped out of her chest as she falls deeper into those familiar ice blue eyes. He is asking her 'why?' She can feel the tears stinging her eyes, and the only thing allowing her to hold them back is the thought of the blonde on her lap, and the feel of the hair between her fingers. She rips herself away from the cold blue surrounding her, and focuses her attention out the window trying to get a moment to compose herself. _Damn you Grissom. Every time._ The expected feeling of numb doesn't come to relieve Sara though instead her feelings for Grissom hit her full force, and she wants to be sick. Grissom not getting his answers form Sara's eyes, or demeanor decides he will take the first step. He takes Sara's free hand in his getting her attention. **"Why Sara?"**

"**I told you Gil, ghosts. My Past. I needed to escape. I didn't want to leave Vegas. Leave the closest thing I had ever had to a family, but I did. It wasn't what I wanted it was what I needed."**

"**Now that you are back…"**

"**No Gil."**

"**You didn't even get me a chance to finish what I was going to say."**

"**I have a feeling I know what you were going to say, and the answer is no."**

"**Why not Sara? We had something special before."**

"**Now that I look back Gil, I see mostly pain on my half. That is not something special. What I have now is something special, and I am not willing to give it up for a past flame."**

"**Wait… you're…you're involved with someone else already?"** His voice is weak and broken. _Why don't you just punch me in the stomach Grissom?_

"**Yes."** Sara answers in little more than a whisper.

"**What's his name?"** Grissom's voice is much louder on the border of yelling.

"**Why does that matter? Keep your voice down you are going to wake up Cath!"**

"**No why should I?"** Sara sees the light bulb go off in Grissom's mind. She then feels fingers curl around hers and she realizes what she has done. Looking over her hand is in Catherine's. She had grabbed it for comfort. **"Oh God Sara tell me it's not…"** Catherine can hear a loud voice somewhere in the distance. It is tugging at her, bringing her back into reality. She opens her eyes, and is blinded by the bright world she has entered. Laying there she listens to Grissom. **"Please tell me it's not Catherine Sara! My best friend. A woman. Did you leave me for a woman?"** Catherine can hear the anger in Grissom's loud voice. _Wait. Grissom's loud voice? Oh shit that is not good! Grissom almost never raises his voice. This is not at all good._ Catherine attempts to open her eyes, and is much more successful this time. She is staring at Sara's stomach. She can feel the brunette's hand on her ear trying to block out the noises. She turns onto her back and looks around at the scene in front of her. Grissom is standing up pacing back and forth, while Sara has worry playing on the features of her face. Catherine gives Sara's hand a squeeze earning her the brunette's attention.

"**Hey Baby. Sorry to wake you."**

"**It's okay. What is going on?"**

"**I'm waiting for Sara to confirm whether or not she is now involved with another woman. Maybe you can tell me **_**buddy**_**."** His last word is filled with venom.

"**I…"** She looks at Sara for permission. For something. Sara nods, and turns her head toward the window.** "Yeah Grissom she is. I have a feeling you have already figured out that woman is me."**

"**HOW COULD YOU!"** Grissom is too far out there to come back, and both women know this. There is only one time Catherine has seen Grissom like this and that was when he was in the interview room with Natalie. Neither of them are certain what he is capable of, or what will now happen.

"**Grissom calm down."** Catherine takes the lead knowing Sara can't face the man right now. Because that man is her everything.

"**Calm down how you can expect me to calm down!? You are supposed to be my friend Catherine. Instead you go around behind my back sleeping with the woman you know I love!"**

"**Whoa Grissom that is uncalled for! You have no idea what me and Sara are or aren't doing!"** Catherine is now standing facing Grissom. Sara has seemed to have retreated inside herself, and is no longer any help to either of them.

"**I thought you were above that Catherine, but apparently I'm wrong. Apparently you will do absolutely anything for sex. And you…"** Grissom turns his attention to Sara who does not acknowledge his attention. If she does notice him she is doing a very good job of hiding it. Catherine is standing mouth open in shock and anger. Her system has shut down from overload so she watches helplessly as Grissom advances on the brunette.

"**I thought you loved me. I risked everything for you, because you said you loved me; that you would never leave me!"** Sara directs her gaze toward Grissom, but remains silent and expressionless. **"How could you do this? You of all people. After all you have been through I thought at least you would understand pain, and you would do anything to avoid causing it for those that you love. Oh wait I just answered my own question. You don't love me!"** A tear escapes Sara's grip, and travels freely down her cheek. This doesn't stop Grissom. It doesn't even faze him. Catherine is positive he doesn't even see it. She watches in horror as Grissom lifts his arm and hits Sara across the face. The brunette's eyes are wise with fear. Catherine's senses finally turn back on, and she runs in front of Sara to block her from the monster. Not the man. Not Grissom. The monster. The person standing there that neither of them know.

"**GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!"**

"**Catherine I..."** He is standing looking at his hand memorized by it.

"**No Gil you have gone too far. Get out of my house NOW!"** Grissom turns and leaves his head hanging in defeat. Catherine turns to Sara, and pulls the brunette into her. **"Sara are you okay?"** She doesn't say anything she returns to staring out the window. Catherine sits next to her and waits. The brunette abruptly gets up and walks out the door acting as if Catherine isn't even there.

* * *

TBC...


	29. Chapter 29

_Okay calm down Catherine I'm sure Sara is fine it has only been three hours since she left. She probably doesn't realize her cell phone is not on. Be nice when she comes home. Don't get all pissy._ Catherine hears the door open, and rushes out only to discover Lindsay. She lets out a frustrated sigh, and kisses her daughter on the head. **"What is going on Mom?"**

"**It's nothing Linzz."** She immediately regrets attempting to push her daughter away as she sees the expression appearing on the teenager's face. She remembers what Sara said about being her friend, and she knows Sara would tell Lindsay what is wrong unless she felt it extremely inappropriate. **"Sweetheart it's a long story so why don't you grab a snack and meet me in the living room. Then we will talk." **Lindsay gives her a huge smile, but doesn't do a very good job hiding the obvious disbelief.

Catherine sinks into the couch and waits for her daughter. Lindsay comes in with a large bowl of ice cream and two spoons. **"That wasn't exactly the kind of snack I was thinking of Linzz. Maybe something a little more healthful. What are you and Sara trying to do fatten me up? All you ever force on me is ice cream."**

"**It's the only thing you will eat."**

"**That's not true."**

"**Yes it is. So tell me what is going on. Where is Sara?" **Says the teenager who finally takes the time to notice the absence of her friend.

"**Well Uncle Gil decided to stop in…"**

"**Oh no! No. No. No. Mom that's not good."**

"**You think I didn't realize that. I told Sara to stay in the bedroom, but of course she wasn't going to let Gris harass me. Well I haven't told you but he has been making a huge deal about what happened with the Cole case, and constantly hunting me down and interrogating me…"**

"**Why didn't you tell me?"** Lindsay's words are laced with hurt.

"**It wasn't important."**

"**Yes it was, and he was hurting you. I know it. Why can't you ever let me into your life? I'm not asking for every detail Mom. I just want to get to know you a little. Get a feel of what your day is like. How you are doing. I love you, and I can't stand to see you hurt, but whenever I ask you lash out or push me away. I only want to get to know you. Be treated a little more like an adult. You don't have to shield me from everything. I know you wonder so I'll tell you that's why I get along with Sara so well is, because she treats me like an equal, and takes the time to listen, and allows me to listen to what she needs to talk about."** Tears have appeared on the young girls face, and Catherine thinks she hears her heart shatter. She pulls her daughter to her side and hugs her tightly.

"**I'm sorry for what I've done before Lindsay, but I'm trying now. I'm trying to treat you like an adult, and tell you what happened. I need someone to listen while I try to sort things out in my head. I'm ****hoping you will be the one to help me do that." **Lindsay nods and gives her mom a small smile. **"But before I tell you what happened today there is something I need to do first."**

"**What."**

"**This."** Catherine grabs the bowl from her daughter's hands, and scoops out a large amount of ice cream shoving it into her mouth. **"It was melting I had no choice."** She says barely decipherable around the ice cream. Lindsay laughs and grabs the other spoon and begins to fight with her mom to get some ice cream on her spoon. **"Nope sorry sweetie, seniority, this is my bowl now go get a new one."**

"**Come on Mommy! That's not fair I was the one who made it for you in the first place."** She puts on her best pout, and knows that she has won as soon as her mom glances up at her.

"**Oh fine, fine. I've had too much already anyways. You eat it while I tell you about my very eventful day."**

"**Okay."**

"**So as I said Uncle Gil decided to stop by for a visit, and Sara came into the room to distract him from grilling on me for any longer. She told him that she was the other victim. So I told him what happened to me which was emotionally exhausting it always is. Sara forced me to lie down and I fell asleep. I woke up and they were arguing. To make a long story short somehow Grissom figured out about me and Sara, which lead to me and him having a heated argument. Sara at this point had kind of zoned out. Gil ended up rendering me speechless with one of his comments. One that I feel that you don't need to know. I will let you know I am protecting you from scarring, and saving myself years worth of money, because I believe had you heard our conversation you would need a lot of therapy. Anyways after that Uncle Gil turned to Sara and started yelling at her for breaking his heart, and all of the promises she made. The only reason I could tell Sara even noticed his presence in the room is because he finally succeeded in making her cry…"**

"**Son of a bitch!"**

"**Lindsay! Language please."**

"**Oh yeah…right…sorry."**

"**He advanced on Sara and hit her. I kicked him out and then checked on Sara. We sat in silence for a while, and then she walked out like I wasn't even here. I've been trying to reach her, but at first she wasn't answering. Now her phone is turned off. I have no clue where she could have gone. Can you think of anywhere?"**

Catherine observes her daughter contemplating the question, and has to smile. It is adorable. **"Well whenever she talks about a safe place for her in Vegas it has always either been the lab, or this secluded place outside of town near the woods, but she has never given me an exact location."** Both of them lunge off the couch to get a better view of the door as it begins to open. Sara walks into the 

house seemingly in the same state she was before she left. She is completely oblivious to the world around her, and both Willows know it for the fact that Sara always notices when people stare at her. **"I'm going to leave the two of you alone,"** Lindsay whispers. Catherine gives her a quick hug her eyes remaining on the brunette. Lindsay walks out of the room and says, **"Hi Sara!"** However the older woman does not even glimpse up and Lindsay glances back giving her mom a worried look before retreating to her room.

"**Sara honey?"** Catherine says quietly as she approaches the woman. Catherine places two fingers under Sara's chin and forces the brunette look up at her. Sara's eyes are red rimed, blood shot, and puffy from tears. A dark purple bruise has formed on her left cheek, and appears to be getting darker. Catherine takes her hand and quickly drops it as she hears the brunette wince. **"Let's go sit on the couch." **The brunette does not reply, but makes her way past Catherine into the living room and collapses on the couch. Catherine perches on the coffee table in front of Sara and reaches up tucking Sara's hair behind her ears. She takes the silence as an opportunity to examine the rest of the brunette, starting with her hand. The skin is split over her knuckles and freely bleeding. The wounds are surrounded by dirt. Bruises run up her last two fingers, and her hand is rapidly swelling especially where it had made contact with the fridge the night before. **"Oh Sara! Babe why did you do this to yourself?"** She receives no answer and sighs. **"You stay here I'm going to get some ice, and the first aid kit. If your hand doesn't get better by tomorrow afternoon I'm taking you to the hospital to have it checked out." **Catherine whips back around as she hears Sara give a whimper of fear. The brunette is sending her a pleading look, but refuses to say a word. Catherine turns back around and goes off in search of the items she will need.

Catherine comes back into the room, and finds Sara staring off into space. She cleans in and around the wounds on Sara's hand. The brunette does not even wince. She then passes Sara the ice, and takes a more comfortable seat on the couch waiting to bandage Sara's hand. **"Do you want to talk about what is going on in your mind right now?" **Sara shakes her head no. **"What about where you went, and what you did while you were gone?"** Again she shakes her head no. **"Okay do you want to talk at all?"** Catherine is getting angry as she watches the brunette shake her head again. **"Are you ever going to talk to me again?"** Sara gives Catherine the saddest look she has ever seen it even beats the one her daughter gave her earlier. Sara nods her head yes then refocuses on the wall. Catherine curls her legs into her chest, and then rests her head on her knees. **"You know Sara I was really worried about you…I…I was afraid that you would do something…and…and then I would never get to see you again."** Catherine can feel the tears sliding down her face. She watches a tear travel down Sara's cheek, and reaches up to wipe it away, but Sara pulls away at her touch. Catherine is uncertain what to do if Sara won't let her touch her. Sara directs her gaze toward Catherine who doesn't notice because she has focused her attention to the coffee table to try to stop herself from crying. She feels Sara's cold hand wiping away her tears. She glances at the brunette and can see the war of emotions battling violently in her eyes. Catherine grabs Sara's hand before she can pull it away. **"Here let me bandage your hand."** Sara nods and drops her head. Catherine wraps her hand tightly, and gives it a light squeeze before picking up and leaving the room.

Sara remains in the room lost deep in memories.

_It was my first day in Vegas, and I was assigned to look into the Holly Gribbs case. What a way to make enemies. I was supposed to find the new senior CSI. I opened the door and was blown away. "Do you know where I can find Catherine Willows?"Sitting at the table in a white blouse that tightens around her voluptuous chest, hair flipped was the most gorgeous strawberry blonde I had ever seen. "She's out in the field." So maybe I was in the wrong place, but I'm where the paper said to be. Even if I'm not at least I had the chance to glimpse at her. I turned around to try a different door, but realized this is where the paper said. I was ecstatic that I had the opportunity to face this gorgeous woman again all I had to do was face her without drooling. Easier said than done. "Let me guess, Sara Sidle?" "I know who I am. I think you're a little confused." I smiled hoping her obvious hostility was temporary and would fade as I got to know her better._

_His arm on my back felt so right. Nobody stopped to give a second glance as we walked down the hall together. I knew that was because it didn't mean anything, but I was in denial, because it meant something to me._

_I was certain I wasn't breathing as Catherine my now strawberry blonde Goddess took her place next to me. She looked so hot in those tan pants the way that they hugged her ass. Then I was hallucinating there could have been no other explanation because it was raining inside. "What the hell is this?" Her angry voice rushed into my ears even when she was pissed she had managed to send chills up my spine. It was a good sign thought that she saw the water too. That meant I wasn't going insane. An officer approached me and I struggled to focus on what he was saying not on low cut Catherine's shirt was."Ma'am you might want to take one of these." He passed me an umbrella, but I was to wrapped up in the thought that I could now stand closer to Catherine. I had to force something, anything, out of my mouth so that he knew I was listening. "Thank you, thanks." "Where is the body?" Damn she had succeeded this time at causing a large throb in the lower vicinity of my body. "Upstairs." I thought I was going to hurl he couldn't be serious. "Upstairs?" My voice was weak and I doubt he heard me. "It's raining man juice?" Catherine was not at all happy with the situation and I had to say something so she didn't think I was ignoring her."Hallelujah?"_

_It was now or never. I finally had the chance to get the answer I needed. He was sitting there patiently waiting for me to shave his face. I turned to him. "Do you trust me?" "Intimately." I take a deep breath it was hard to keep my mind straight when I was so close to him. When there was the option of claiming his lips with mine, and completely forgetting everything else. I could have just led him to the bedroom._

"_Project Sunflower promotes itself as doing God's work." She looked so surprised, and that expression on her was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. Hell anything she did or wore in some way was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. "I know a stripper who claimed that exact same thing." I couldn't suppress a smile she has always known how to crack me up, and get me to relax. Just like how she has always known how to push my buttons. At that moment I could not suppress the thought in my mind' she is perfect.'_

"_Maybe we should get married." Wow! I had never expected him to work up the courage. "Yes, let's do it." This was supposed to be the happiest moment of my life, but something was nagging at me it had come in the form of a smell. The sent was one distinctly close to Catherine's the woman who I had been __drooling over hours earlier through the glass wall. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life though so I had to make him think it. I plastered on a smile, and suppressed a wince from the bee sting I had just received. Then I leaned in for a kiss. _

"_Ahhh sorry Sara I need the microscope right now." I loved the way she had let my name roll off her tongue. Almost as if it belonged to her mouth only. I could have always replied how my brain was urging me to, 'well I need you right now Baby,' but I knew better than that. "I have three more samples to run. When I'm finished it will be your turn." I was extremely lucky that she was in a good mood or I would have ended up causing a fight. "This can't wait." "It can't, or you can't?" I casually turned my focus toward her which was a bad idea because she flashed me a sexy little smile. "Both." How could I have protested to that? I vaguely remember her saying something about getting a coffee on her, but I was too busy pretending to glare, and not let my knees buckle from the sight of her rapidly growing smile._

_I thought my ears had deceived me as I played them over in my head. They were real. "Oh honey." My heart had skipped a beat as they lovingly flowed out of his mouth. I had had feelings for him so long, and now it might have possibly been that he was returning them._

"**Sara sweetie I've been calling your name."** Sara brings her attention back to Catherine who is standing in front of her looking concerned. **"I asked if you wanted something to eat. I'm fixing pasta for Linzz."** Sara shakes her head, and begins to retreat back into her mind. **"I would really like it if you came out, and kept me company in the kitchen while I cook. It's up to you though."** Catherine watches Sara nods her head, but is thrilled when the brunette gets up and heads in the direction of the kitchen. Catherine follows her, and begins to cook. The room is silent, but Catherine can still feel Sara's presence as the brunette sits at the table. **"Linzz hun your dinner is ready!"**

"**Coming!"** Catherine sits next to Sara at the table. **"You're not eating Mom?"**

"**No sweetheart I'm not hungry."** They both observe as Sara gets up, and makes a plate of food.

"**Sara sweetie I could have done that for you if you wanted some."** Sara places the plate in front of Catherine and leaves the room. Catherine rests her head in her hand and sighs. She and Lindsay are eating in complete silence when the younger of the Willows finally asks the question her mom's been waiting for.

"**What's going on mom? Where was she?"**

"**I don't know Linzz she won't talk to me."**

"**At all? Or about what happened?"**

"**At all."**

"**Oh. Do you want me to try?"**

"**No I think we should leave it alone for a while. If she talks to you then that's good."**

"**Okay."**

"**I have this strange feeling it is going to be a long night."**

"**Yeah me too."**—

Catherine lies in bed staring up at the ceiling. Sara is on her side with her back facing Catherine shaking from her silent sobs. Catherine sighs and turns to Sara. _Not one word all night. Then she comes to bed around eleven, and hasn't stopped crying since. It's twelve. What should I do? Should I try to comfort her, or leave her alone? Well if I mess up doing one thing it won't change much she still won't talk to me, and she will still cry so…_ Catherine reaches over and places her hand on Sara's back rubbing small circles. The brunette shies away from the touch so Catherine removes her hand. She gets up and leaves the crying brunette alone in the room. Catherine finds herself wandering into her daughter's room. The teenager's light is still on, and she looks up from her book, _Crank,_as her mom walks in. **"You're still awake?"** Catherine says quietly.

"**Yeah. I can't sleep."**

"**Oh."** Catherine walks over to the bed, and slips under the covers. **"Do you mind if I spend the night with you?"**

"**No. I'd really like that."** Lindsay reaches over and turns off the light. She snuggles into her mom's embrace, and both Willows quickly fall asleep.

TBC...


	30. Chapter 30

Catherine enters her house after dropping off Lindsay, and immediately notices the brunette slumped over on the couch sleeping. She walks over and covers Sara whose eyes flutter open as the blanket falls on her. **"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you. You looked cold."** Sara's eyes remain focused on Catherine, but not a word escapes from behind her lips. **"How long have you been out here?"** The brunette shrugs her shoulders. **"Why won't you talk to me Sara? What did I do?"** Sara gets up and walks out of the room. Anger is boiling through Catherine's veins and she needs a release. She picks up a book off the coffee table and flings it across the room. As it collides with the wall it makes a large crashing sound. Catherine hears Sara rush back into the room. She turns and snaps, **"What the fuck are you looking at?"** She leaves the room so she has to push past the brunette hoping to at least fuel anger and start a fight. But of course she has no such luck because Sara is completely oblivious to the events around her.

Catherine gets in her car, and begins to drive. She has no clue where she is going she only knows she needs out of her house. She pulls into the lab before remembering that she can't go back to work until tomorrow. Turning the car around she finds herself sitting outside of Nancy's house. _Well I have no clue why I'm here. I don't even remember driving here. It's quiet, I guess it couldn't hurt. I'm sure Nance won't mind. Lucky me! I have a spare key._ She walks into her sister's house, and is greeted by a calm silence. She grabs a soda out of the fridge, and collapses onto the couch. She turns on the TV and changes it to Comedy Central. Soon she is yawning and battling with herself to stay awake. _I guess I didn't sleep that well again in Lindsay's bed last night. Well now there is nothing to stop me from taking a nap is there?_ As she begins to drift off her phone rings. _Ah shit!_ Catherine picks up her phone and checks the ID 'Home.' _So now she wants to talk. She will just have to wait._ Catherine puts her phone on silent and falls into a deep sleep.—

"**Catherine?" **She can hear her name being called somewhere in the fog, but she cannot decipher who it is that is calling her. _Ugh why won't they just let me sleep? I need to stretch._

"**Ouff"** _Oww shit that hurt. _Catherine opens her eyes and is greeted by her sister standing over her. Looking around she is on the floor. _Oh right I fell off the couch. Damn that hurt._ She drags herself back onto the couch, and pats the spot beside her signaling for her sister to sit down.

"**What time did you get here?"**

"**I don't know I left my house around eight thirty. Then I drove around for a while so probably around ten-thirty."** Her voice is quiet, and she is grateful when Nancy passes her a drink.

"**Really? You've been here a while then. Jeremy said you were dead to the world when he got home so he didn't bother you."**

"**What time is it? Why are you home so early?"**

"**It's six Cath."**

"**Oh shit!"** She buries her face in her hands. Nancy rubs her older sister's back hoping to be filled in on what's going on. Catherine looks at her phone and discovers she has missed seven calls and has five messages. She dials her voice mail and listens as Lindsay's panicked voice fills her ear. **"Mom it's Linzz I ****am wondering where you are. I'm a little worried. Sara said you were angry this morning and left. She has been trying to get a hold of you for a few hours, and now I'm trying so please call me back when you get this."**

"**Cath honey what is going on?"** Catherine glances at her sister, and listens in shock after four messages when Sara's voice is the one on the other line. The brunette is quiet, and Catherine has to strain to hear what she is saying. **"Ummm hey Cath. I'm wondering where you are. It's been a while since you left here. I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you, and I can't promise that it will end right away, but I am sorry. I'm really worried about you, and I hope you will come back soon. Uh don't worry about Linzz I have everything under control. I know I wouldn't let you yesterday, but I do need you to take me to the hospital when you get the chance for my hand. That is if you can even look at me. Take your time where ever you are, and I hope to see you later. I do love you Cat; I know I haven't been acting like it, but I do. If you could call me or Linzz that would be nice so that we know that you are safe. I have to go Linzz needs help with her homework. Bye."** Catherine leans into Nancy's shoulder her body shaking with her sobs. Nancy holds her close until her tears subside. **"Sis what is going on?"**

"**I have to call Linzz before I can talk about anything."**

"**Okay I'll go make some coffee."** Catherine nods her head before attempting to pull herself together. She picks up the phone, and dials her daughter's cell number.

"**Mom?"**

"**Linzz."**

"**Mom! Thank God! I was so worried about you. Sara is worried about you. Can you hold on I have to tell her you are okay?"**

"**Yeah."** She can hear her daughter in the background yelling to Sara. 'Sara!' She then hears Sara's voice as she must have entered the room. 'Yeah?' 'I wanted to let you know Mom is on the phone.' 'Oh thank God! Is she okay? Do you know where she is?' 'Not yet stay here while I find out.'

"**I'm back. Are you okay? Where are you?"**

"**I'm fine sweetie. I'm at Aunt Nancy's right now. I have to talk to her, and then I will be home. Is everything okay there? I can hear you've managed to get Sara to talk."**

"**We are fine here. Everything is under control. Sara is talking a little bit. Her hand is pretty bad though. When I came in from school she was trying to rewrap it. It's gross. Oww Sara that hurt. So you will be home soon?"**

"**Yeah in around half an hour."**

"**Okay we'll see you then. I love you."**

"**I love you too sweetie. Bye."**

"**Bye."** Nancy is patiently waiting for Catherine to finish.

"**So what's happening in your life?"**Catherine sighs and tells her about Grissom and yesterday, and today. She tells her about how Sara isn't talking, and how she isn't allowed to touch the brunette. She talks about the nights and how Sara cries until Catherine has to get up and leave because it causes her too much pain. **"I don't know what to say Catherine; Sara doesn't seem like other women."**

"**That's because she isn't. So that is how I ended up here. I needed some place quiet I didn't plan on staying so long though. I need to get back to Linzz. I'll talk to you later Nance. Thanks for everything."**

"**It was no problem Cath call if you need me."**

"**I will. Bye Jer!"** She yells to her nephew who is consumed in something in his room.

"**Bye Auntie Cath!"**

Catherine is sitting in her car outside her house. She doesn't yet have the strength or energy to take the next step. Closing her eyes she loses herself in the past.

_God, my head was still throbbing from where that asshole had nailed me when he attacked me at the scene. I had allowed the officer to get some air, because it was his first body watch, and eventually his stomach contents would end up on the floor contaminating the crime scene if he didn't leave. I was fingerprinting, and all of a sudden I saw his shadow, next thing I know he was bodying me full on. Warrick and I had finally finished up the case and I was sitting in the locker room staring at the cold steel in front of me. I had rarely ever felt fear like I did the night before, and it was still rush through my veins from my last encounter with my attacker. I hadn't noticed another presence in the room. A hand gently brushed over the wound on my forehead. I had to suppress a moan as the touch sent electricity through my body. I didn't have to turn to know who was beside me. Only one person could cause that reaction within me. Only one person had the sweet scent of fruit that was presently washing over me. Sara. I could hear her wince next to me. "That's pretty deep." I only nodded my head not able to yet speak her body was too close and my own body was quickly reacting."I heard what happened. How are you holding up Cat?" I knew I had to get out of there fast or I would do something I would regret. I jumped up and grabbed my coat mumbling that I had to pick up Linzz. I made the fatal mistake at looking back at the stunning brunette. She looked hurt. I was always causing her pain. Once again I was pushing her away when she was attempting to let me in. Quietly I said,"Thanks." "For what?" "For caring about me Sara. Listen we should get together and have breakfast some time after shift. Just you and me. Right now though I have a very impatient eight year old waiting for me outside her school. So what do you say breakfast sometime?""I would like that. I'm going to hold you to it." Little did I know we wouldn't get that chance until after Sara found out Hank was using her to cheat on his girlfriend. Four months later._

_There was a knocking at my door. It wasn't really a time where I wanted visitors. Two days before I had been roofied, and had suspected that I was raped. I had turned to Sara which I can say was rather embarrassing knowing how she felt about me using my sexuality. It was almost as if she had known something bad would happened and she had cared enough to tell me even though it lead to her __suspension. She did not break my trust, and had kept her lips sealed until I had, had no choice. I had to tell Grissom, and everything leaked out after Lindsay was kidnapped the next night. We found her. I don't know what would have happened to me if we didn't. Then I lost Sam. The cause of this mess. The bad ass mob boss. My father. At this time my mom, Linzz and I were sitting in the living room watching a movie, and attempting to escape the horror that had just occurred. I was prepared to yell at the person proceeding to find me at my house on this night. I had never expected to be face to face with the person I was when I opened the door. Sara Sidle. I stepped aside and let her in. I didn't have the heart to be a bitch to her that night. Not after all she had done for me. " I just stopped by to see how you and Linzzwere holding up." She had said it quietly."Were doing okay. We are watching a movie do you want to join us for a little while?" She looked hesitant so I decided to reassure her." I would really enjoy it." She gave me a small smile and answered, "Okay." The truth is I had needed comfort. Comfort that I could not get from just anyone; comfort that only came from Sara's presence. I turned to lead her to the living room only to discover she was not following me. I went back to her side and grabbed her hand before dragging her into the room. I think she was just a shocked as I was at the physical contact I had incited. Before then there had been very limited touches between us. I was thrilled when she did not let go of my hand as she sat back and watched the movie._

_She had looked so defeated so depressed as she walked out of the station. In her usual dark colors on a day promising heat. She had finally learned what that asshole Hank was doing. I had never liked him in fact the only man I had ever liked that had gotten the chance to be with Sara is Grissom. Hank was a scumbag who didn't deserve this amazing woman that was approaching me. If he couldn't see what he had then he was nowhere near her level. I didn't mind that their relationship was potentially ending. The only person I wanted to see Sara with was me. She got into the Tahoe and was silent. I didn't find this unusual for the tall lanky brunette beside me, but still it troubled me considering the circumstances. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes and I knew that we weren't close enough and even if they were she would never let them fall around me. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her everything would be alright, but I wouldn't be allowed. I wanted her to know it wasn't her fault, but I doubt she would believeme. I had to say something before my body started to disobey me. Then I remembered the promise I had made her months back. "Got plans?" Her voice came out aggressive, "Nope." I wasn't sure if I should ask so I took a moment before I asked my next thought. "You want to get a beer?" She turned toward me which made my heart melt as I saw the hurt screaming out from those dark pools. I gaveher a small encouraging smile deciding it was the best thing I could do besides touch her. "Drive." I took a second to observe her as she returned her gaze through the windshield._

Retreating from her mid she discovers a small smile on her face, and tears trickling down her cheeks. Turning to look back at her front door she locks eyes with Sara who is standing in the door frame watching her. She takes a deep breath and exhales before opening the car door. She slowly glides up to Sara. **"Hey,"** Catherine says quietly. She directs her eyes toward the ground as she speaks not able to face the brunette. Sara sends Catherine a small smile, and retreats into the house. _Nothing has changed. She did warn me though it wouldn't right away. Maybe someday she will let me into her mind a little. The only problem is I'm not sure how long I can wait until I crack._ Catherine heads immediately for Lindsay's room, and a soon as she reaches it she is taken into a bone crushing hug from her daughter.

"**Don't you ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me."**

"**You sound like my mother."**

"**Well maybe I should be. Did you talk to Sara?"**

"**I tried she just smiled at me and walked away."**

"**She has been doing that all night. I have to get my homework done. I have not been able to concentrate at all. You should check out her hand I'm telling you last time I saw it, it was seriously nasty."**

"**I will."** Catherine release herself from her daughter with much difficulty, and sets out to find Sara. She discovers the brunette out on the back porch watching the suns last rays of light in the sky. She sits down next to Sara, and attempts to examine her demeanor. **"I should probably take a look at your hand if you want me to take you to the hospital."**

"**Okay,"** Catherine is certain her ears were deceiving her as the brunette's words come out in a light whisper. She gives Sara an encouraging smile, and cautiously takes her hand. She unwraps Sara's hand, and realizes her daughter's description was extremely accurate. Seriously nasty.

"**Ugh Linzz wasn't exaggerating."** Sara's knuckles and last two fingers are black from bruises, and the wounds around her knuckles are oozing puss. **"Sara why didn't you say something sooner? This must hurt."**

"**I didn't want to go to the hospital."**

"**Oh well now you are going it is not a choice."** Sara nods and stares up at the sky.

"**Now."** A puzzled expression appears on the brunette's face. **"We are going to the hospital now Sara. I'll wrap this up, you will cover the bruise on your face, and then we are going."**

"**Fine."** Catherine sighs, and helps Sara with the bandage before going to tell Lindsay that they are going out.—

They have been in the waiting room for an hour and a half. Catherine can't help observing that Sara looks like a scared, lost child. She moves from the chair across from the brunette to the one beside her. Carefully and quietly not wanting to scare Sara anymore she says, **"Sara hun are you alright?"** Catherine assumes that Sara didn't hear her and is lost in her mind when the brunette does not immediately respond. She is about to ask again when Sara nods her head yes. Catherine places her hand on the younger woman's back and the brunette pulls away as if she had been burnt.

Finally Sara is called and Catherine watches as the brunette gets up to go in the office. All of a sudden Sara stops and looks around confused. She walks back to Catherine and asks shyly, **"Will you come in with me? I don't want to go alone."** Catherine stands up and walks by Sara in to the office.

* * *

TBC... Sorry I was having some Internet trouble but I hope you have enjoyed the new chapters. I don't know about anyone else but I am so ecstatic that there are new episodes of CSI on again! I'm still suffering from the loss of Sara though the show isn't the same. I should have a new chapter out soon I am in the middle of it right now.


	31. Chapter 31

Catherine walks into the break room and sighs. It has been a long week for her. She and Grissom have been avoiding each other, but sooner or later it will blow up in their faces. Sara is still barely talking to Catherine, and still cries herself to sleep at night. As a consequence of the brunette's actions neither Catherine nor Lindsay have been getting the best sleep scrunched in the teenager's bed together. She is grumpy, depressed, irritated, and pissed. It is starting to show, and the blonde is starting to take it out on her friends. She is too consumed a new case folder to glance up, and almost runs into her handsome, hazel eyed friend. **"Whoa. Careful Cath."**She is about to snap back when she realizes what she is doing. Catherine locks eyes with Warrick, and is overwhelmed by the concern present in his hazel orbs.

"**Sorry."** She gazes around the room to discover it empty. **"Have you seen Greg?"**

"**No Cath he is on Graveyard. He should be in, in about five minutes. Why?"**

"**Well I just received a case that might link to one he had last week, and I was going to ask if he wants to come with me."**

"**Well Graveyard should be in soon to receive assignments, and Nick should be meeting me here any minute with DNA results. Why don't you sit down, and relax? It has been a while since the whole team has been together."**

"**I don't think that is the best idea."**As soon as the words slip from behind her lips Nick strolls in with Greg, and Hodges. They are having a conversation about who the hottest Lab Tech is. Following closely behind them is a very distracted Grissom.

"**Where's Ronnie?"**Warrick asks.

"**It's her night off,"** Greg replies with a knowing look.

Grissom starts to hand Greg a folder still not looking up from his own. **"I need Greg tonight. We are having a slow shift you can use Nick and Warrick I'm sure they won't mind."** Grissom's expression turns to shock when he finally realizes Catherine is in the room. Greg is puzzled, but shrugs his shoulders.

"**Alright, but I need to talk to you Catherine."**

"**Okay. Greg I'll meet you in the car."** Everyone disperses from the room as fast as they can, but hide around the corner to see what is happening.

Grissom shuts the door, and Catherine moves herself so she can get out quickly if she needs to. **"Listen about the thing the other day…"**

Catherine's pent up emotions boil over before she can stop them. Next thing she knows she is yelling. **"No Grissom what you did to her is completely inexcusable!"**

"**You have to see it from my view!"**Grissom is now matching Catherine's volume.

"**That is the shittiest excuse I have ever heard. I don't care how you are seeing it I would never hit someone! Especially someone with a past like hers!"**

"**She is a backstabbing bitch. So aren't you to come and think of it! You will do anything for sex no matter how low you have to sink! You are a slut, and I don't know why I was even going to attempt to apologize!"**

"**FUCK YOU!"**Catherine whips open the door and storms out. Her hand is itching to connect with something. She can see all heads turned toward the break room, and she is glad she didn't let Sara's name slip. Her fury is rushing through her whole body scorching her insides. She slams the door to her office, and kicks the chair in front of her desk across the room. She whips her arm across her desk knocking off all the objects, and slams her hand into the wall. Catherine takes a few deep breaths, and adjusts her clothes before she leaves the lab. She is still going on the anger crawling under her skin when she reaches the scene. Greg practically runs into the house not wanting to confront the blonde when she is in this state. Catherine drags her heels until she reaches the crime tape she turns to the guard, and is a little harsher than necessary. **"Did you clear the scene?"**

"**Yes Ma'am."**

"**Then you can go; we will be fine here."**

"**But Ma'am I'm supposed to…"**

"**GO!"**

"**Okay thank you Miss."** Catherine enters the house and takes in her surroundings. She follows the hallway, and immediately regrets her actions. She watches Greg crouching over the body of a young woman. A middle age man stands over him with a gun aimed to his head. _Shit! Every time!_She turns and sneaks into the living room unnoticed. She finds that there is a door that leads into the kitchen. She figures if she goes through her she can position herself in front of Greg. She hits speed dial on her phone calling Warrick, and slips her phone back in her pocket so the chocolate man can hear what is happening. Anger blurring her thoughts she does not think of the consequences of her actions. Pulling out her gun she aims it straight in front of her, and points down at the ground as she nudges the door open. She can hear Greg pleading with the man; assuring him that it would not be in his favor to kill the young CSI. Catherine enters, and is surprised as her voice rings out louder, and more confident then she feels. **"Sir put the gun down!"**

"**Put down your weapon or I will shoot."**

"**Now sir I know you don't want to do that."**

"**SHUT UP, AND PUT DOWN YOUR GUN!"** Catherine places her gun on the floor her eyes not leaving the man. She subtly inches forward, putting herself between Greg and the shooter. Her heart is racing, and her adrenaline has kicked in. She attempts to move toward the man, but he moves the gun so it is pointing toward her. Then it hits her. The life she has waiting for her at home. One she would not 

change for the world. Her sweet, loving daughter and her gorgeous, caring girlfriend. She thinks about Lindsay, and how she would be an orphan if her mother did not come home from work one day. Today. She thinks she hears a door creek, but she is not certain. **"Greg get out of here."**

"**But…"**

"**No Greg go he can have me. You go!"**

"**Neither of you are moving."**Now Catherine is certain someone else is in the house as she sees someone sneak into the room behind the man. Warrick hits the man over the head with the butt of his gun, and the shooter crumples onto the floor.

"**Are you two okay?"** They both nod too shaken to speak. **"Go out, and let Nick collect your clothes then you can leave. Gris wants you both home for the rest of the day."** Catherine glances at her watch, and realizes she will have time to spend with Lindsay before she has to go to bed. She leaves the house and quickly strips in the ambulance putting on some coveralls before speeding away to drop off Greg then go home.--

Catherine opens the door, and can hear music blasting out from the living room. She can hear Sara singing along so she stops to listen.

Crawling in my skin  
These wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface  
Consuming/confusing  
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending  
Controlling/I can't seem

To find myself again  
My walls are closing in  
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)  
I've felt this way before  
So insecure

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me  
Distracting/reacting  
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection  
It's haunting how I can't seem...

She waits until the song is over to make her entrance known. She is plagued with worry. She knows to Sara music touches her soul and everything she listens to has gotten to her heart some way. It has replayed a part of the brunette's life. She also knows Sara selects songs to listen to based on her mood, and what will speak to her.

Sara doesn't notice Catherine's presence at first. The blonde sits on the couch, and watches Sara who is staring out the window. The brunette turns and jumps as she discovers Catherine in the room. She turns off the music before sitting on the opposite end of the couch. **"Hi."**

"**Hey sweetie." **Catherine glances around the room unsure of what to do. The silence is awkward. **"Is Linzz home yet?"**

"**She is in her room."**

"**Thanks." **Catherine walks up to Sara and bends down to kiss her. Just as their lips are about to met Sara turns her head and Catherine stops. **"Sorry…I uhh had a hard day…I forgot."** The blonde rushes out of the room hoping she hasn't crossed the line.

Lindsay is on her computer listening to her Ipod so she doesn't notice her mom until Catherine grabs her and pulls her into a tight hug. She kisses her daughter on the forehead, and drags her over to the bed to snuggle. **"Hey Mom. Are you alright?"** She asks as she feels one of her mother's tears soak through her shirt. Catherine shakes her head and buries herself deeper in her daughter's shoulder. Finally she pulls away and gives her daughter a kiss on the cheek. **"Hard day at work?"**

"**You could say that."**

"**What happened?"**

"**Greg had a gun aimed at his head, and without thinking I went and put myself between him and the shooter so we were both were held at gun point until Warrick, Nick, and the cops arrived."**

"**Oh…"** Lindsay says quietly. She moves so she can bury herself in her mom's shoulder, and pulls Catherine closer. **"You weren't hurt were you? What about Greg?"**

"**No we're both fine sweetie just shaken. I wanted to run something past you."**

"**Okay."—**

Sara sits frozen on the couch wondering if she should go after Catherine, or let her be comforted by her daughter. Her body has already made up its mind, and she really had no choice from the beginning. She cringes, and shies away at physical contact. The answer is no. She sighs and returns to the radio flipping through her CDs she pulls one out, and flips to the track she is searching for. She closes her eyes and begins to sing welcoming the release. The music flooding her body washes away the torture her heart is inflicting upon her.

These are my hands, but what can they give me?  
These are my eyes, but they cannot see  
These are my arms, but they don't know tenderness  
And I must confess that I am usually drawn to sadness  
And loneliness has never been a stranger to me, but

Love tried to welcome me  
But my soul drew back  
Guilty of lust and sin  
Love tried to take me in

These are my lips, but they whisper sorrow  
This is my voice, but it's telling lies  
I know how to laugh, but I don't know happiness  
And I must confess, instead of spring, it's always winter  
And my heart has always been a lonely hunter, but still

Love tried to welcome me  
But my soul drew back  
I was covered with dust and sin  
Love tried to take me in

Love tried to break me

And I must confess, instead of spring, it's always winter  
And my heart has always been a lonely hunter, but still

(Love tried to break me)  
Love tried to welcome me  
But my soul drew back  
Guilty of lust and sin  
(I was covered with dust, covered with sorrow)  
Love tried to take me in  
(Covered)

Still, love tried to welcome me  
But my soul drew back  
(Guilty of lust and sin)  
Covered with dust and sin  
Love tried to take me in

(Love tried to break me)  
Love tried to welcome me  
(Love tried to welcome me)  
But my soul drew back

Guilty of lust and sin  
(But my soul drew back)  
Love tried to take me in  
(I was covered with sadness)

Love tried to welcome me

Sara can feel tears sliding down her face. She opens her eyes when the song has finished, and stares straight into the eyes of Lindsay Willows. She struggles to read the teenagers emotions. Faintly in the background she can hear "Sanctuary" softly playing. She pats the seat next to her, and Linzz perches on the edge of the couch. **"Sara what is going on?"** Sara turns her head away not able to give the teenager a straight answer. **"Whatever it is Sara you better fix it soon. You promised me you wouldn't hurt her."** With that Lindsay gets up and leaves the room. Sara sighs she gets up, and puts on her shoes. She finds Catherine cooking in the kitchen. She has her back to the brunette, but Sara can tell she is silently crying.

"**I'm going to go for a run."**She says quietly not to scare the blonde. Sara observes as Catherine wipes her tears away, and faces her.

The blonde attempts a small smile despite her pain, and says, **"Okay. Umm please don't come home with another broken hand."**

"**Okay." **Sara wants to rush over to Catherine and hold her close. Kiss the blonde, and tell her everything will be alright. But she can't. Instead she turns and leaves feeling its better than standing there and constantly reminding Catherine of the pain she has caused her.

The only though eating away at Sara as she closes the door behind her is, _I've broken my promise to Catherine._

TBC...

The first song is Crawling by Linkin Park, and the second one is Love tried to Welcome Me by Madonna. Madonna is my absolute favorite artist so I had to find a way to work some of her music in. The song referenced, Sanctuary is also by Madonna. It is on Bedtime Stories after Love Tried To Welcome Me. So I hope you have enjoyed the update, and I hope to have a new one out to you soon. Hopefully if things go my way in the next two or three days...


	32. Chapter 32

Sara lies on her back in bed staring up at the ceiling. She can feel Catherine's eyes on her closing the distance between them. She knows the blonde is worried, and confused. She has been racking her mind for a way to make it up to Catherine. They haven't been talking a lot, but Sara knows something is wrong with Catherine, and she suspects it is work related. Plus there is herself. She is tearing the blonde apart, and can't seem to stop herself from doing it. Slowly she feels herself slipping off into a restless sleep.

Catherine can sense it again. Creeping into every space in her body. Burning its way into her heart, and throbbing through her veins. Anger. Its back crawling beneath her skin itching to connect; to cause pain. She gets up and begins to pace the room trying to calm the emotion. Trying not to create more fuel. She struggles to shut down her brain.

Sara shoots up and attempts to peer through the dark, searching for the source of the noise that pulled her from her haunting dreams. Suddenly it fills the room again. A loud bang. Her eyes begin to adjust and she sees Catherine standing near the wall. She observes as the blonde's hand again smashes into the wall. Sara thinks she can also detect light crying. She untangles herself from the blankets, and grabs Catherine's raised arm as the blonde is about to strike the wall again. Sara's arm snakes around Catherine's waist dragging the woman away from the wall. **"Get off me! Let go of me Sara. Get OFF!"**Sara lets go of Catherine who makes it back to her original spot then turns, and slides down the wall in defeat. The blonde begins shaking uncontrollably as she is taken over by her emotions and starts to sob. Sara glances over and notices Lindsay appear in the doorway. She walks over to the teenager. **"Linzz,"** she whispers, **"Go back to your room."**

"**No. What did you do Sara?! Huh? What did you do now?"** Lindsay yells at the brunette. Sara looks over at Catherine; she starts crying harder when her daughter's voice reaches her ears.

"**Lindsay,"** Sara is trying to remain calm, **"Go back to your room you are not helping. I will get you after I calm your mom down."**

"**I swear to God Sara if you do one more thing to hurt her I will kill you."**With that Lindsay storms back into her room. Sara shuts the door, and returns to Catherine's side. She slides down the wall, and observes the blonde for a few seconds before reaching over and caressing Catherine's cheek with her thumb. Catherine moves away from the touch. Sara gets up, and crouches over Catherine she then slips one arm under Catherine's legs, and the other around the blonde's back. She picks up the older woman and places her one the bed. She gets on the bed herself, and pulls the fighting blonde into her. The brunette holds Catherine as close to her as possible, and waits for the blonde's tears to subside. However after ten minutes they still haven't and Sara opens her eyes when she feels Catherine's fist collide with her shoulder, and then her chest. The blonde has knocked the air out of the brunette, but Sara doesn't loosen her grip.

"**You promised Sara! You promised Grissom wouldn't take you away from me! You lied."** Catherine's voices begin to fade out with her last words, and she cries harder. Sara waits; she kisses the top of Catherine's head and brushes the hair that is stuck to the blonde's forehead out of her face.

Relief floods Sara when Catherine's arms snake around her waist, and she feels the blonde's breathing slow as she sinks into sleep. When Sara is certain Catherine is sleeping she carefully untangles herself from the blonde, and goes to talk to Lindsay.

Lindsay's light is on as Sara enters the room. She discovers the teenager perched on the edge of her bed lost in thought. As soon as the young blonde realizes Sara is there she gets up and crosses the room to meet the brunette. **"What the fuck happened Sara? What the hell did you do to her? Huh? Are you going to answer me or are you just going to look away again?" **Before Sara can respond for the second time that night she finds a fist slamming into her chest. She winces in pain; the teenager put more force into it than her mother. Lindsay raises her fist again, and Sara can tell she is aiming higher. She steps backward as Lindsay's fist grazes past her cheek. Before the teenager can attempt again Sara grabs her, and pulls her into a hug. Lindsay struggles to pull away, but gives in, and buries her face in Sara's shoulder.

"**I'm sorry Linzz. I've been horrible to your mom, and you. I am going to find a way to make it up to you."**

"**What happened to you Sara? As far back as I can remember you have been the most caring, and accepting person I know. You've always been there for me if I needed you especially after my dad died. You have always put others before yourself, but as soon as Uncle Gil turns up on the doorstep you changed. You barely even noticed Mom, and it has been slowly killing her. If you had paid more attention you would have seen how much she is suffering. I bet you don't even know the day before yesterday at work her and Greg were held at gunpoint. And why don't you know this? Because you were to wrapped up in yourself. Maybe you should start opening your eyes a little more. I think that is how you can make things up to us. I'm stealing your spot in bed." **Lindsay forcefully pulls away from Sara, leaving the brunette in shock; unable to reply as she heads toward her mom's room.—

Catherine wakes up with a warm body snuggled against her back. Her head is throbbing, and her hand is screaming in pain. The events from the night before flood back into her mind. She turns to discover her daughter in the bed. She kisses Lindsay on the head, and shuts off the blaring alarm. **"Linzz sweetie it's time to get up."**

"**Mmmmmmm."**

"**I'll be back in, in ten minutes to take my shower. If you are not up I will have to use my special ways to get you up. We all know how much you like that."**

"**Mmmmmmm." **Catherine follows the scent of fresh coffee. She discovers a fresh pot in the kitchen with a note beside it.

_Morning Sunshine, I have some things I need to do today. I don't know if I'll be back before you have to go to work, but I doubt it. I'll call you later. I love you Baby. Sara_

Catherine smiles faintly. She pours herself a cup of coffee, and goes to wake up her daughter. She decides that she will go into work early, and get a head start on processing the new evidence in her case.—

Sara walks up to the reception desk, and is shocked to find Judy still on the same shift. **"Sara! Here let me get you a visitor's pass, and I will call Dr. Grissom for you."**

"**No!"** She realizes that has come out a little harsher than she intended. **"No thank you Judy. I will take that visitors pass. I have a meeting here in about ten minutes, but I was hoping to sneak back, and surprise the guys is that okay?"**

"**Of course Darling."** Sara glances through the glass walls looking for her friends. She observes Wendy's eyes go wide in surprise as she catches sight of the brunette. Greg is standing in front of the lab tech with his back to Sara. Sara places a finger to her lips, and Wendy subtly nods. Sara walks up behind Greg, and wraps her arms around his waist.

"**Well now Catherine, Darling I knew you were softening to my sweet talking, but I must admit I never expected this pleasant intimacy."**

Sara smiles, and whispers in his ear, **"Try again Greggo."**

"**Sara!"** Greg whips around and pulls the slim brunette into a bone crushing hug.

"**Greg…it's great to see you but…I can't breathe."**

"**Oh sorry. Hey have you seen the guys yet? Come with me to the break room they will be ecstatic to see you."** He turns to Mia, **"Thanks Love, you are a life saver." **Sara gives the lab tech a quick hug before rushing off after Greg whom is skipping down the hall.

She shyly enters the break room and is consumed in a great bear hug from each side. Her face seems to be buried in Warrick's shirt, and Nick is behind her completely blocking her in. **"Hey Nicky, Warrick!"** They move away and Warrick takes her at arm's length.

"**Let me get a good look at you girl. I never thought I would see you in this place again."** Nick comes around to examine Sara too. He is wearing a huge grin on his face, but it quickly dissipates.

"**Damn Sara," **the Texan says. **"You are sure looking worse for the wear. I mean you've lost weight, you appear to have what used to be a nasty bruise on that gorgeous cheek of yours, and if I am not mistaken you're right hand is bandaged. Don't get me wrong, but damn girl if you tell me who did this to you I will personally get rid of him for you."**

"**Nick be nice to her she came to visit us. She didn't have to you know,"**Warrick says with a laid back expression on his face. **"So what are you doing back here Sidle? I figured you'd be with the FBI by now."**

"**I have a meeting."**

"**With Grissom?"**

"**No Ecklie, and possibly Catherine."**

"**Mmmm I don't know if you want to her right now sweetheart she's hasn't been in the best mood. The problems with Grissom can't help."**

"**Problems with Grissom?"**

"**Looks like you will get to see for yourself," **Greg pipes in. Sure enough as the three of them turn they watch as Grissom and Catherine approach the break room from different directions. Fire and ice. Neither of them has noticed the other yet for they are both consumed in different reports. Sara backs up against the wall not wanting to be noticed. **"Don't worry they won't see you. Only each other."**Whispers the young CSI beside her.

As the two supervisors enter the room they brush up against each other, and Catherine explodes. **"Fuck Grissom watch where you are going."**

"**Sorry I couldn't miss that large sex drive while I was trying to squeeze through the door frame!" **He snaps back.

"**Fucking drop it Grissom we aren't having sex."**

"**Hah you not having sex. Is that a bad joke?"**

"**Just cuz you fucked up doesn't mean you have the right to take it out on me, or get physically violent with S… her."**

"**I told you, you have to look at it from my point of view!"**

"**Why I won't see it any differently; what you did was wrong! You messed up your last chance, because now she is with someone else who actually loves her!"**

"**Who you? I doubt it. You're are just using her to get what you want. Don't act all heart broken when she sees through your lies and comes back to me." **Sara watches the blonde's anger flare. Grissom has hit a sensitive subject. He seems to have noticed to. Catherine takes a step toward him, and Sara is in shock when instead of backing down Grissom moves forward too. Sara believes he has gone insane. No one is crazy enough to get in Catherine's face when she is fuming as much as she is. Except Sara. Fear floods Sara as the memories of the sting Grissom left when his hand collided with her face resurface. She doesn't want that for Catherine. She gets the guys attention.

Her voice barely above a whisper she hopes she can be heard over the two supervisors. **"Warrick, Nick get behind Grissom, and hold his arms. Pull him far enough away that if he get loose from you two he can't immediately strike out at Catherine. I've got Catherine. Greg do me a favor and quickly run these roses into Catherine's office. Then rush back in case I need help with Cath. You never know."**

Greg whispers, **"I was hoping those were for me," **before they all break up to carry out their plan. Sara watches as Nick and Warrick each grab hold of one of Grissom's arms. She then slips her arm around Catherine's waist, and holds the blonde tight as she struggles to escape. Catherine digs her nails into Sara's arm. Sara can feel them penetrating the flesh. She winces, but only tightens her grip on the blonde. Suddenly Ecklie appears in the doorway.

"**GRISSOM! CATHERINE! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? I EXPECTED MUCH MORE FROM YOU TWO! I want both of you to go to your office, and cool down. I have a meeting which I now will be late for. I want you both in my office in twenty minutes. Sidle do you mind if the meeting starts five minutes late? I have to make a phone call."**

"**No Ecklie that's fine." **Grissom's attention slowly focuses on the woman behind Catherine. He only gives her a glance before storming out of the room. Catherine has stiffened in Sara's arms at the sound of the woman's voice behind her. The three male CSIs pick up on the fact that they should make themselves sparse. They close the blinds that were installed a few days ago, and lock the door.

Catherine turns in Sara's arms and gazes up into the brunette's dark pools. Sara rests her hand on the back of Catherine's head, and guides the blonde to her shoulder. Catherine holds Sara close; the brunette can feel Catherine's tears soaking through her shirt. She kisses the top of the blonde's head, and pulls her closer. When Catherine's tears subside Sara leads her over to the couch. Sara catches Catherine's lips with her own her hand traveling up to the blonde's face. She caresses Catherine's cheek with her thumb as her fingers tangle in the blonde's hair. Catherine runs her tongue along Sara's lower lip begging for entrance. Sara resists knowing that this isn't the time or place for them to lose control. She pulls away, and rests her forehead on Catherine's. Catherine pushes Sara so that the brunette's back is against the arm rest then places herself between Sara's legs resting her head on the younger woman's chest. Sara quickly wraps her arms around Catherine, and closes her eyes letting the blonde's long lost, comforting sent wash over her. **"I've missed you Sara," **Catherine whispers in the brunette's ear.

Sara responds in the same hushed tones, **"I've missed you too Baby. I'm so sorry Cath. I'm so sorr…"** Catherine silences Sara with her lips trying to convey to the brunette that everything is okay, and that they will figure out how to work things out.

"**I don't want to lose you again."**

"**You won't I promise. Babe how bout you go back to your office, and relax while I go to my meeting."**

"**I don't want to. I want to stay with you." **Catherine says trying her best to sound whiney which earns her a smile from Sara. **"Why are you meeting with Ecklie anyways?"**

"**We will talk about it later. I'm going to be late. If Ecklie finds out you are what kept me I'm sure you will receive an earful after Grissom leaves." **Catherine scrunches us her face in disgust causing Sara's heart to melt. She takes Catherine's hand, and carefully examines it. She is surprised at the lack of damage considering the events of the previous nights. **"You're hand looks okay. How does it feel?"**

"**It's a little sore nothing I can't handle. Get to your meeting I don't want to spend any more time with Ecklie than I already have to." **Sara chuckles and gives Catherine a brief kiss before leaving the room.--

Sara enters Catherine's office, and her eyes immediately fall on Catherine who has fallen asleep on the couch. She closes the door, and perches herself next to the blonde. She lightly kisses Catherine who grunts and turns her head. Sara quietly laughs to herself. She kisses Catherine again this time harder and with more passion. Catherine moves her body closer to Sara, but still doesn't wake up. Sara slips her hand under Catherine's shirt and runs her fingers over the silky flesh her fingers have discovered. Catherine lets out a small moan, and Sara presses her lips to Catherine's. Catherine opens her mouth a little, and wraps her arms around Sara's neck pulling the brunette closer, and deepening the kiss. Sara continues to explore Catherine's stomach with her hand. She gasps as she feels the strong muscles underneath her fingers flex with the blonde's movements. Catherine smiles into the kiss then pulls away.

"**My turn with Ecklie?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Ugh. Can't I skip, and stay here with you?"**

"**No sweetie you need to go, or we will never get out of here. We can't be late you know."**

"**For what?" **Catherine asks, as she stretches. Sara starts to remove her hand from under Catherine's shirt, but the blonde puts her hand on top of Sara's trapping it in its place.

"**Why Baby I didn't tell you we have dinner reservations? I know you and Linzz take forever in the bathroom so we must get back to your place as soon as possible."**

"**But Sara I have to work."**

"**We I heard from a source who hates to be doubted. The big man himself…"**

"**God?"** Catherine says wearing a look so innocent it is mischievous to Sara.

"**Ecklie."**

"**Oh ugh I was way off."**

"**Yes you were Baby, but that's okay I'm sure you will get better at guessing. I heard you are going to be forced to take the rest of the night off, and when you come back in it is Grissom's turn to leave."**

"**Oh yeay I'm so excited."** Catherine's voice is reeking with sarcasm at Sara's last statement. She hates being suspended that means no pay. **"You know Grissom has been my best friend since what feels like forever. Right before you came back everyone was sick. Gil had to take the night off. Unfortunately we had a copy cat to a case that was in trail as the murder occurred. Naturally we had to investigate, and Grissom was called on by the DA. I swear to God they have a thing for each other they just won't act on it. But that is for another time. I had felt bad for him. Can you believe it? I was nice enough to ****bring the evidence to him. While I was there filling him in on the case from the other room I was snooping around…"**

"**Surprise, surprise Catherine Willows was being nosy."**

"**Sara!"** Catherine playfully swats the brunette.

"**Sorry Babe, but I couldn't resist. Continue with your story I promise I won't comment again." **Catherine momentarily loses her train of thought as Sara's fingers start roaming her stomach again.

"**Ummmm…oh yeah right. So I was snooping, and I opened his closest, and found only what I could assume was your dress. You know I've never seen you in a dress. That makes me kind of sad; I would really like that."**

"**Sorry Babe, maybe some time." **Catherine's cell phone starts to ring, but she ignores it.

"**I felt really guilty you know? You and Grissom had something special, and there I was snooping around behind my best friend's back with his ex-fiancée. The only thing that stopped that feeling was how much I love you. Then I didn't care. So I was wandering around his place, and discovered on the fridge a picture of you and him from many years ago. I had thought the whole time that he had been this loner for many years, but clearly I was wrong."**

"**You weren't Cat we had a thing back in San Francisco. I think the picture you were talking about is from then."**

"**Oh. Good. That makes me feel better. But the whole thing is one minute he is my best friend, and now I can't stand the man. We are forced to act civil with each other in public, but lately that hasn't worked too well. I don't know what I'm going to do."**

"**You will figure it out. You two need time to calm down a little."**

"**Time we both don't have."**

"**You'll figure it out. You should probably get that." **Catherine's cell phone has started to go off again.

"**I have to go Ecklie's calling."**

"**Okay. Remember dinner tonight so don't get caught up chatting with Ecklie and Grissom."**

"**You're funny Sara, you really are. Will you be here when I get out?"**

"**Oh Babe of course I will be. You have no clue what you have gotten yourself into, because now you are stuck with me."**

"**Good that's just the way I want it." **Catherine reluctantly lets Sara take her hand out from under her shirt. She quickly kisses the brunette, and looks deeply into Sara's brown orbs. **"I love you."**

"**I love you too Baby. Hey Cat?" **Catherine pauses with her hand on the door, and turns toward the brunette.

"**Yeah Sara?"**

"**I'm so sorry for the way I have treated you."**

Catherine replies in barely more than a whisper,** "I know you are Sara. I know."**

* * *

TBC... OMG! Yesterday's episode of CSI was so good! I'm trying to find ways to incorporate the new episodes. I have found a way for the latest on I just have to write the chapter. Luckily I have more time on my hands this week. I hope you have enjoyed the update!


	33. Chapter 33

_I want to thank Raheema for an idea presented in this chapter. I can't say what because it will ruin things but I know you will know it when you see it hun._

* * *

Sara feels her jaw drop as Catherine makes an appearance in the living room. Sara had been sitting there waiting for the two blonde's who were taking forever. She had thrown on a pair of dress pants and nice shirt, and had been impatiently waiting ever since. At this moment however she realized all of the waiting had been worthwhile. Her eyes start on Catherine's black high heels and begin to glide over the blonde's silver ankle bracelet, up her toned legs, reaching the fabric just above her knees that sways when she walks. Her eyes continue their path up to Catherine's hips which are hugged perfectly by the fabric of her dress continuing Sara's eyes wander over Catherine's stomach to her breasts which are pushed up by the way Catherine's dress ties around the back of her neck. The older woman's hair is straight her side bangs tucked behind her ear except for a few strand that have escaped. Sara lets her own eyes fall on Catherine's. They are a blinding blue that is emphasized by her makeup. Sara looks over Catherine again still in shock. She usually has a hard time taking her eyes off Catherine, because of the blonde's striking appearance, but tonight she knows it is going to be damn near impossible. Sara is drawn out of her trance, and realizes how long she has been staring when she faintly hears Catherine's voice, **"What?"**Sara locks eyes with the blonde, and can tell Catherine know exactly what is going on in her mind. Still the blonde chooses to tease her. Catherine has a small half smile on her face, and Sara realizes is still waiting for an answer.

Finally she gets her voice to work, **"You look…stunning."**

"**Why thank you Sara."** Catherine is still smiling as she approaches the brunette who still hasn't taken her eyes of the blonde's body. She leans into Sara's ear and whispers, **"What are you thinking about?"**

A mischievous grin works its way onto Sara's face as she replies, **"Oh Baby I don't think you really want to know that right now."**

"**And why is that?"**

"**We wouldn't make it out the door."**

"**I have no problem with that."**

"**And your daughter would be scarred for life."**

"**She could always just listen to her Ipod loudly."**

"**Ahh Cat, but you are forgetting we wouldn't make it to the bedroom either. I doubt you would have time to warn her."**

"**Are you two lovebirds ready or are we going to miss dinner?" **Lindsay says making her entrance into the room completely oblivious to the conversation taking place within it. Sara had told Lindsay she could invite Johnny if she wanted to, but the teenager told her she felt the boy wouldn't be able to handle her mom's threatening atmosphere in the car again. Sara had just laughed at her response.

"**We'll be right out Linzz. Why don't you start the car?" **Catherine asks.

"**So you guy guys can kiss? Ewwww! Fine just don't get carried away I want to be able to sit on the couch again." **Lindsay laughs as her mom's eyes go wide.

"**Lindsay!"** Catherine turns to Sara who is not is not helping. The brunette is lightly chuckling behind her. **"Thanks for the support Sara."**

"**No problem Babe." **Catherine reaches out and lightly swats the brunette. **"Seriously Linzz go start the car it's chilly tonight."**

"**So I have to go be cold while you two get to stay in here! That's ridiculous!"**

"**Not ridiculous sweetie. Now listen to me, and start the car." **Lindsay leaves the room mumbling about how it isn't even cold outside.

"**Cat it's 60 degrees out there."**

"**Yeah so?"**

"**So it's not cold."**

"**Whatever you say sweetheart, I think it is cold."**

"**I think you wanted your daughter distracted."**

"**Yeah that too."** Catherine smiles at Sara. The brunette senses she is in trouble. Catherine pulls the brunette into a searing kiss that leaves Sara's legs weak. **"Did I ever tell you how much I like those pants on you?"**

"**No." **Sara manages to say in her incoherent state. Her lips feel lonely without Catherine's and she blindly reaches out for the older woman's lips. She finds them, and engages in a soft, sweet kiss before Catherine pulls away leaving the brunette wanting more.

"**Lindsay is waiting Sara stop messing around so we can go to dinner."**The blonde says teasingly as she leaves the room. Sara takes a deep breath and attempts to slow her heart rate.

Sara shuts the door behind her, and can here "Psycho" by Puddle of Mudd blasting in the car. Getting in the driver's seat she can faintly hear Lindsay yell over the music, **"Took you long enough Sara!"** Sara catches Catherine's smile of satisfaction as she turns toward the teenager in the back, and sticks her tongue out at Lindsay.—

They are escorted to a private table in the back. Catherine sits next to Sara, and Lindsay sits across from them. Sara is desperately trying to distract herself by watching Lindsay glance around the place as Catherine's hand continues to slide higher up her thigh. When the blonde's hand has almost reached its destination Sara puts her hand on top of Catherine's stilling the blonde's movements. She locks eyes with Catherine attempting to convey everything she is thinking. Catherine gets the point and laughs. Sara is always so cautious around Lindsay, and she is thankful for it even if it a slight inconvenience to her at times. Sara keeps her hand in Catherine's as they order, and begin to eat, but the blonde still finds ways to tease her. Sara watches as Catherine again leans so that Sara gets a good view down the front of the blonde's dress. Sara can feel herself beginning to throb. She has to suppress a small moan that is building in her throat. Unluckily for Sara Lindsay leaves to go to the bathroom, and she is left with Catherine. It is obvious the blonde is trying her hardest to get Sara to give in. **"Catherine I really like this, but you have to stop. Linzz is here and she doesn't need to see anything."**

"**Stop what Sara?" **Catherine is slowly guiding Sara's hand between her own legs up under the fabric of her dress. Sara can feel the heat radiating from the blonde's core. As her fingers move closer she is expecting her fingers to brush against soaked silk instead her fingers run over Catherine's clit. Sara's eyes go wide, and she gasps. Catherine whispers in her ear, **"Surprise."** Sara can only reply by letting out a tiny moan. Catherine giggles at the woman's speechlessness. Sara turns and spots Lindsay coming. She pulls her hand away resting it on Catherine's knee.

Quickly in quiet tones she says,** "That was not nice! Now how am I supposed to focus?"**

However she wasn't fast enough, because as Lindsay sits back down she asks, "**What wasn't nice?" **Catherine burst out laughing as red rapidly fills into Sara's cheeks.

"**Nothing,"** Sara answers quietly staring down at her plate. She nudges Catherine who can't seem to regain control. Lindsay looks at her mom curiously then back at Sara, and shakes her head. For the rest of the meal Sara battles to keep her mind focused and listen to Lindsay who is talking about her friend at school, and how she got her nose pierced. She can see Catherine repeatedly glancing at her from the corner of her eye. The brunette can sense that Catherine is fighting to keep herself composed every time she sends a look Sara's way

Catherine can't help smiling whenever she gets a glimpse of the brunette; she is focusing intently on Lindsay trying to take in what the teenager is saying. A faint pink still lingers in her pale cheeks signaling to Catherine that Sara's mind is elsewhere. Catherine knows exactly where too. Sara keeps moving her hand further up Catherine's thigh then returning it to the blonde's knee as she battles with herself. Catherine who has been focusing solely on Sara's hand is brought back into the conversation by her daughter. **"So can I Mom?" **A wide smile breaks onto Sara's face at Catherine's lost expression.

"**Ummm sure,"** Catherine answers hoping she hasn't just agreed to something completely outrageous.

Sara catches the teenager's attention, and winks at her. **"So when are you going to take her? I was planning on getting a new one myself, and I know this great little tattoo shop off of the Strip."**

"**W…What?"** _Oh shit!_Sara and Lindsay keep their faces as straight as possible as Catherine's appearance goes from confused to horrified. They can no longer hold it in and burst out laughing. Sara's blurry view of Catherine through the tears streaming down her face tells her the blonde is not too happy.

The brunette pulls herself together and says, **"Sorry Baby, but you were asking for it."**

"**Sure I was,"** Catherine grouchily answers. **"I'll get you for this Sara."**

"**Oh come on! That was payback."**

"**You are in trouble now."**

"**Oh come on Cat! That's not fair I was only getting you back for earlier."**

"**Nope."**

"**Fine,"** Sara says sticking her tongue out, which earns her a swat from the older woman. **"Do you want to know what we were actually talking about?"**

"**That would be nice considering I consented to God knows what."**

"**Well Linzz was telling me about this really cool design for a tattoo she saw, and I told her about this friend of mine back in San Francisco who I used to surf with, and how she has the coolest tattoo on her lower back. Linzz said she didn't know I could surf…"**

"**I didn't know either."**

"**Well now you do Baby." **Sara has a shy smile on her face that is causing Catherine's heart to melt.

"**That's really cool Sara." **Catherine's comment causes red to creep into the brunette's face.

"**That's what I said too."** Lindsay comments.

"**So I told her that maybe on one of her next vacations you could get some time off, and I could too, even if it is just a weekend, and we could go to San Francisco, and I could teach her, and you if you want, how to surf. I told her I would only teach her if it was okay with you though."**

"**Oh, yeah Linzz that's fine. No tattoos though."**

"**Ugh, Mom you are such a spoilsport!"**

"**Ah well Linzz, Sweetie, I try."** The blonde smiles at her daughter and the teenager rolls her eyes.** "What else do we not know about you Sara? We know you can surf, sing, and solve crimes. Do you have any more interests or hobbies?" **Catherine asks wanting to make the modest brunette blush some more.

"**Well I can play the guitar, and you know I'm pretty good at fixing cars I guess."**

"**Mmmm a musician. I love musicians!" **Catherine winks at Sara.

"**Ewwww Mom! I'm sitting right here watching. I don't need to know your preferences or what you most likely fantasize about. Please keep that to yourself!"**

"**Now Linzz you were the one who inferred the last part."**

"**Yes, and you were the one that left it to be inferred."**

"**You didn't have to think it though." **Lindsay buries herself behind her menu scanning the desserts, and ending the conversation.

Sara is starring off into space and absent mindedly running her hand up Catherine's thigh again, but stopping when she meets the blonde's dress. Both Willows are deciding what they want for dessert. Catherine is having a harder time than Lindsay on focusing on what there is and Sara can see it. Catherine's core gives a large throb of desire as Sara's hand slides back down to her knee, and she has to suppress a grunt of frustration. She waits for Sara to begin to move her hand again, and when it has almost reached the fabric of her dress Catherine moves forward in her seat causing Sara's hand to brush where she wants. Sara's eyes widen as she turns to looks at Catherine. Catherine gives the brunette her most innocent look, and quickly picks up her glass of water and takes a sip to stifle her moan as Sara runs her finger along the blonde's clit before standing abruptly and announcing she has to go to the bathroom. **"If the waiter comes can one of you order me a coffee?" **

Sara rushes off to the bathroom, but catches Lindsay say, **"I don't even want to know what you two are doing under the table. You two are gross."**

Catherine chokes on her water at her daughter's statement. **"Oh come on I'm not five anymore. I know better!" **Lindsay turns back to her menu, and Catherine can feel the redness burning onto her face.

"**I think I'm going to run to the bathroom too. Can you order me a slice of cheesecake if the waiter comes?"**

"**Sure. Have fun!"** Catherine turns and walks away in complete disbelief of her daughter. She discovers Sara leaning over the sink trying to control her breathing. Catherine quietly walks up behind the brunette, and wraps her arms around Sara's waist.

As she rests her head on the brunette's shoulder Catherine innocently asks, **"Something wrong sweetheart?"**

"**Nope perfectly fine. I just needed to catch my breath."**

"**Why have you been running?"**

"**Nope, last time I checked my issue was there is this gorgeous blonde sitting next to me with no underwear on."**

"**Oh, well I see how that could be a problem, but you were supposed to be on a date with me so why you are scoping out another woman is beyond me. See if you didn't have a wandering eye you wouldn't be having a problem now would you."**

Sara turns in the blonde's arms and looks down at her. **"Ha ha you're very funny Cat, but I would say my problem is I have a very persistent girlfriend sitting next to me who happens to be in a very good mood."**

"**Who me? I have no clue what you are talking about."** Catherine says a smug grin appearing on her face.

"**I believe you do know what I'm talking about Ms. Willows. You are just attempting to deny having any part in this."**

"**Ms. Willows huh?"**

"**That's right."**

"**That sounds very sexy coming from you."**

"**Really?"**

"**Yes." **Sara captures Catherine's lips in a heated kiss. She nibbles at the blonde's lower lip begging for access into her mouth. Catherine immediately gives in and moans as Sara's tongue slides along hers.

Sara pulls away and says with a smirk,** "Lindsay is waiting."** Then she walks out of the room.—

Sara stumbles in the front door with Catherine clung to her back. **"Cath I can't walk. Let go of me at least until we make it to the living room."**

"**Nope, sorry, you're not getting rid of me that easily."**

"**I'm not trying to get rid of you I'm just attempting to make it to the couch without falling flat on my face."**

"**Well you are going to have to attempt with me clung to your back."**

"**Stubborn woman!"**

"**So true. You know I'm really glad you thought of dropping Linzz off at Nancy's after dinner."**

"**You are and why is that Baby?"**

"**Oh only so we don't have to share the couch well we are watching TV."** Sara chuckles, and collapses on the couch. She pulls Catherine on top of her and gazes into the blue depth of the blonde's eyes. **"I love you, you know that right?"**

"**Yeah I do, but it is always nice to hear."** Catherine leans in and kisses Sara. The kiss isn't fueled with desire only passion and neither of them rush to deepen it.

Sara pulls away, and looks at the beautiful sight in front of her. Catherine's eyes are still closed her mouth slightly open. She looks peaceful, and happy. **"Cath I want to talk to you about something." **Sara feels horrible wiping that look off of the older woman's face, and replacing it with an expression of curiosity and worry.

"**Okay, what is it?" **Sara strokes Catherine's cheek trying to reassure the blonde that there is nothing to worry about.

"**Well you know how I have to go back to Connecticut in a few days?"**

"**Yeah,"** her tone laced with sadness.

"**Well you see the thing is I'm transferring to Vegas, onto the Day Shift and…"** Sara stops when Catherine's lips crash into hers. They break away for air and Sara admires how Catherine is beaming. **"I'm going to take it you like my idea. The thing is I have to go back to Connecticut for a week to get things straightened out, and I need to ask you if you mind if I stay here until I can find another place."**

"**No sweetie I don't mind, but can I ask you something?"**

"**Sure."**

"**Why don't you move in here?"**

"**Really?"**

"**Yeah I mean you've been living here for almost two weeks. Why not make it permanent?"**

"**Okay. Yeah, let's do it." **Sara lightly kisses Catherine who quickly deepens the kiss. Sara moves her hand from Catherine's cheek running it over the blonde's side, and down to cup her ass. Sara's other hand soon follows and she pulls Catherine closer to her. Catherine moans into the kiss as Sara moves her hands up under her dress and back onto her ass. The feel of skin on skin causes Sara to let out a throaty moan. Catherine breaks her lips apart from Sara's and moves them down to the brunette's neck. Sara leans her head back to allow the blonde more access as she squeezes Catherine's ass again. Sara starts to tug on Catherine's dress and the blonde sits up to make the brunette's job easier. Sara is gaining access to the sight of Catherine's stomach when Catherine's cell phone goes off. The blonde groans and leans over Sara to dig into her purse for her phone. Sara takes advantage of the blonde's chest in her face to start kissing and nipping Catherine's breast. Catherine answers the phone stifling a moan.

"**Willows." **She tangles her fingers in Sara's silky, brunette locks as she listens to the person on the other end of the line. She shuts the phone and sighs. **"Sara stop, I have to go to work."**

"**I figured."**

"**I'm sorry sweetie. It's high profile so they are excusing my being kicked out of the lab."**

"**I figured; it's fine Cat. Hey do you think Linzz is still awake? What time is it?"**

"**It's about ten now but knowing my daughter she won't go to bed until around two."**

"**Maybe I'll pick her up. I'll give you a ride to work."**

"**I'm so, so sorry about this Sweetheart. I had a great time at diner, and I'm sure the night would have lead to more fun. I don't know when I'm going to be home I'll call you. I defiantly will be doing overtime."**

"**Cat, Sweetie it really is fine. Don't worry I have everything under control with Linzz. Go get changed, and I'll drop you off." **Catherine brushes her lips against Sara's and then retreats to her room.

Catherine meets Sara in the car. They spend most of the ride listening to the radio until Sara speaks up. **"So what is the case about?"**

"**In the parking lot of a comedy club after a show the man who was the main attraction spots a box. He walks up to it and discovers a young girl preciously wrapped, and left in a box probably to be found." **Sara stops outside of the lab, and observes Catherine get out of the car, and climb into a Tahoe then drive away.

TBC... well I hope you have enjoyed the update! As sad as it is for me to say I have come up with an idea for the end of the story, but don't worry there will be a few more chapters until I can make it there. I have loved writing this story, but my problem is I have 5 new ideas for other Cath and Sara stories, and I can't write two at once or one will never get finished so as soon as I finish this one I will either start right away on getting a few chapters up for a new story or have already written some to post. I should have a new update out soon!


	34. Chapter 34

Sara knocks on the door and waits. She is shocked by the person that appears as the door opens. She knew there would be a family resemblance between Nancy and Catherine she just never realized how strong. The woman standing in front of her has more of an athletic frame, and her face is a slightly different shape than Catherine's, but besides that she looks exactly like her sister.

"**Can I help you?"** Sara looks up into the same caring, sparkling, crystal blue eyes that she does every time she locks eyes with either of the Willows woman.

"**Actually yes. You must be Nancy we talked on the phone earlier, I'm Sara."**

The curiosity that filled the blonde's expression vanishes and is replaced with a stunning smile.

"**Please Sara come in. I was wondering when I would finally get the chance to meet you. Aren't you supposed to be with Catherine tonight though?"**

"**Yeah I was, but she got called into work on a big case."**

"**Girl in the box?"**

"**Ummm yeah."** Nancy smiles at Sara's confusion.

"**It's been all over the news."**

"**Oh."** Sara sends Nancy a small smile.

"**I'm sorry I've completely forgot my manners. Would you like to have a cup of coffee with me?"**

"**That would be nice. Is Linzz still up?"**

"**Last time I checked she was. She shares a room with Jeremy while she is here, but I know she has trouble sleeping so I always leave the living room open for her. How about you head in there, and I will be out with coffee in a minute?"**

"**Alright."** She enters the living room and quietly approaches Lindsay. The teenager is oblivious to everything except for the book she is curled up reading. Sara sits next to her, and the young woman still does not respond. Sara wraps her arms around Lindsay, and pulls her closer. Lindsay finally glances up from Eldest and surprise flashes across her face.

"**Sara! What are you doing here, aren't you supposed to be with Mom?"**

"**She got called into work."**

"**Oh."**Lindsay rests her head in the crook of Sara's neck and returns to her book. The brunette kisses the teenager on the top of the head as Nancy walks into the room. The blonde smiles at the two's easy interaction understanding what her sister was talking about. Nancy passes Sara a mug of coffee. The brunette attempts to take it without disturbing Lindsay who remains snuggled into her.

"**So did you get the chance to tell Cath the news before she had to leave?"**

"**What news?"** Lindsay asks curiously.

"**I'm transferring back to Vegas, and yes I did."**

"**And?"**

"**And I'm going to be moving in with her and Lindsay, of course if that is okay with you Linzz I don't want you feeling uncomfortable."**

"**Of course it's okay with me Sara. What did you think I'd say no? You are one of my best friends, why would I say no?"**

"**I don't know. I just wanted to check."**

"**Well I'm ecstatic Sara."**Lindsay drapes her arm across the brunette's chest resting her hand on the opposite shoulder, and pulling the brunette into a loose hug. After she is certain she has convinced the brunette she is happy she removes her arm so she can read her book. She is comfortable in the brunette's arms; she feels safe and wanted because Sara doesn't push her away, and treats her like an adult. Sara is the first person that hasn't used her to get to her mom, and the first to give her the same security her mom does. Lindsay wouldn't give that up for the world. The teenager blocks out the voices around her and enjoys Sara's presence as she dives back into the world of the Dragon Rider, Eragon.

"**You know my sister was right about you, you are very good looking. Well those weren't her exact words but…" **Red burns its way onto Sara's face. **"From what she has said I can see a lot was very accurate. Don't tell her I said this because she will kill me, but she talks about you all the time."**

"**Really?"**

"**Yep."**

"**That's always good to know."**

"**Yes it is."** Nancy chuckles and looks around.

"**Hey Linzz?"**

"**What?"**

"**It's getting late and I was wondering if you wanted to come home, and chill with me since I'm there alone?"**

"**Why don't you stay here? There is enough room for you on the couch. I have to get to bed so I can make it to work tomorrow, but you and Linzz are welcome to chill out in here,"** Nancy offers.

"**Alright thanks Nancy."**

"**No problem hopefully we get the chance to get to know each other better some other time."**

"**Defiantly. Let me know when you're free and we can go to lunch or something."**

"**I'll do that. Good night!"**

"**Night Aunt Nance."**

"**Night Nancy. Linzz I'm going to call your mom to let her know where we are then I will be right back."**

"**Okay."**

Sara steps outside into the cool, welcoming, evening Las Vegas air. She listens to the ringing on the other end of the line. Right before the voice mail is about to come on a familiar voice fills Sara's ear. **"Willows?"**

"**Hey Cat."**

"**Hey Sweetie. Listen this isn't the best time I'm swamped."**

"**That's okay, I only wanted to call to let you know I'm spending the night at Nancy's with Linzz in case you need me or get the chance to take a break and visit us."**

"**Alright well have fun, and thanks for letting me know. Can you hold on a sec?"**

"**Yeah sure." **Sara can hear Catherine's infuriated voice in the background.

"**The box belonged to who? Well when can we go visit her? Tomorrow! What the fuck Grissom! This is time sensitive. I don't care if she's sleeping right now! No, I'll tell Brass. Okay thanks… sorry about that Babe."**

"**It's okay. Is everything going alright with Grissom?"**

"**Yeah it's going fine. We are pretty much too wrapped up in catching the sick son of a bitch that did this for there to be time for tension. So you're staying at my sisters huh? God I hope she doesn't say anything to embarrass me too much. Knowing my lil' sis' she will. Listen I've got to go I have a situation here I need to take care of. I love you."**

"**I love you too Cath. Bye."**

"**Bye."—**

Sara shuts off the TV and glances at the clock, which reads 1 am. She directs her attention toward Lindsay who has her head in the brunette's lap, and is still submerged in her book. **"Hey Linzz, Sweetie don't you think you should go to bed soon. You have school in the morning."**

"**I want to stay with you though."**

"**Well we could always both try to fit on the couch I guess, if you don't want to go in Jeremy's room."**

"**Let's do that." **Sara fixes the couch and lies down. Lindsay ends up lying on top of the brunette with her head resting on Sara's chest. Sara is pleased that Lindsay is at such ease around her. She turns off the light, and wraps her arms around Lindsay under the blanket. Sara has been lying there for a while lost in thought when Lindsay's voice breaks the silence. **"Sara?"** The teenager whispers.

"**Yeah?"** Sara replies keeping her voice just as low.

"**Can I talk to you about something?"**

"**Sure Babe, what is it?"**

"**Well I know mom wanted to wait when we discussed it…ummm…uhh…I…never mind."** She stutters as her nerves kick in.

"**What is it Linzz?"**

"**Nothing."**

"**Come on you know you can talk to me."**

"**Really it's nothing Sara."**

"**Well I think it is something even if you don't. It can't be that bad."**

"**I…I was wondering if you would consider…if you would consider adopting me?"**Sara is hit by a wave of shock.

"**You said you discussed it with your mom?"**

"**Yeah. When she came home from work the day she was held at gun point. She said she wanted to make sure I would have someone to take care of me, and love me unconditionally if anything ever happened to her. Someone I would be happy with. She said that if anything ever happened between you two that she wouldn't change her mind, or try to end our friendship. She told me that she knows that no matter what you will always be there to take care of her baby when she can't be."**

"**As long as your mom knows you want this. I didn't want to be consenting to something she doesn't know about."** Lindsay flips over excitedly so that she can look the brunette in the eyes. Sara winces as Lindsay's elbow lodges in her rib cage.

"**Are you serious!? Is that a yes!?" **A wide smile has emerged on the teenagers face.

"**It's a yes Linzz. I would love to adopt you."** Lindsay squeals and hugs Sara tightly.

"**I love you Sara!"**

**I love you too kiddo."** Sara brushes her lips against the top of Lindsay's head. The teenager flips back over and quickly falls asleep.—

Sara wakes up when the warmth has suddenly left her body. Shivering she lies there with her eyes closed trying to figure out why it is so cold. She can feel the sun streaming down on her face. It finally registers to her that she can no longer feel the light weight of Lindsay on top of her. _She must have gotten up, that would make sense._ Quiet voices travel in from the other room and Sara decides to get up. She is stiff, and in desperate need of coffee. Trudging into the kitchen Sara discovers Lindsay, Nancy, Catherine, and a teenage boy she assumes to be Jeremy.

"**Morning Sunshine."**Catherine says when she catches sight of Sara leaning in the door frame. **"Did you sleep well?"**

"**Yeah until Linzz got up then I laid there freezing my ass off."**

"**You two looked cute together."**

"**Mmmm. Coffee?"** Catherine hands her a steaming mug, and gives her a chaste kiss. **"Thanks."**

"**No problem. I know you can't function without your coffee. I have to get going soon I only stopped in to say good morning. I'm on my way to give someone a pleasant wake up call with Brass."**

"**Sounds fun."** Sara can sense someone's eyes on her other than Catherine's. She tears her gaze away from Catherine, and locks eyes with Lindsay who is beaming. Sara smiles at her, crosses the room, and kisses the girl on the forehead. **"Morning Linzz."**

"**Morning."**

"**You know she has been extra smiley all morning, but won't tell us why,"** Nancy comments. Sara shoots her a small smile. **"You know don't you?"**

"**Sure do, and if I had more coffee in my system I'd probably be smiling as much as Linzz is."**

"**So spill."**

"**Nope, sorry that is up to Linzz." **Catherine is sending Sara a curious look. Lindsay picks up on it and catches Sara's attention. The brunette smiles at Lindsay encouragingly and nods toward Catherine.

"**Hey mom can I talk to you for a sec…in private?"**

"**Oh come on that's not fair; I want to know too!"** Nancy whines. While Sara observes how Catherine's hips swish as she walks out of the room Nancy remembers to introduce Sara to Jeremy.

Catherine follows her daughter outside, and sits next to her on the steps. She is a little nervous about what her daughter has to say. She is extremely open to the idea of Lindsay talking to her, but she also knows there is a limited possibility of things that could put a smile that big, and that constant on anyone's face. Personally she doesn't want her daughter even thinking about some of the ideas running through her head until Lindsay is at least thirty. Catherine takes a sip of her coffee before turning to observe her daughters demeanor. Lindsay is staring out at the rising sun lost in thought. Gently Catherine starts to probe her daughter for answers. **"So what is on your mind sweetheart?"**

"**I talked to Sara last night."**

"**I figured. Does that have anything to do with what is going on?"**

"**She agreed to adopt me."**

"**She…she…she did?"** Catherine has been bracing herself for everything she can possibly think of, but not this.

"**She didn't even hesitate. She only made sure I had talked to you."**

"**That's great Linzz! But I thought we agreed to wait to talk to her together?"**

"**It felt like the right time, Mom, and you don't have to worry I explained your reasoning." **

Catherine pulls her daughter into a hug. They sit there in silence until Catherine says, **"Why don't you go tell Aunt Nancy and Jeremy the good news, and send Sara out here?" **Lindsay nods and disappears into the house.

Catherine hears Sara's footsteps behind her. The brunette sits down next to the older woman and remains silent. Catherine's hand wanders to the back of Sara's neck begins to rub it.

"**Thank you," **Catherine says quietly.

"**For what?"**

"**Agreeing to adopt Lindsay. It really means a lot to her, and to me."**

"**You don't need to thank me Cat. I love Lindsay like," **She hesitates not wanting to go too far too soon, **"Like my own daughter. I want to make sure she will be safe just as much as you do in case something happens." **

Catherine lets Sara's words sink in. _I love Lindsay like…like my own daughter._ Catherine stands and grabs Sara's hand. They walk around the house, and stop in the back yard. Turning to the brunette she pulls her into a kiss. Her fingertip caress Sara's jaw line as the brunette slips her tongue into the blonde's mouth. Catherine pulls away and buries her face in Sara's neck kissing the soft skin she finds there. Sara wraps her arms around the tiny woman, and rests her head on top of Catherine's. Catherine sighs in content, and Sara pulls her closer. **"Am I the only one that feels like we are being watched?" **Catherine asks.

"**Nope." **They turn toward the patio and see Nancy, Lindsay, and Jeremy watching them.

"**Wanna give them a show?"** Sara looks down at Catherine who has one eyebrow raised and a mischievous grin on her face. Sara nods and quickly closes the space between them. Catherine nibbles on Sara's bottom lip eliciting a moan from the brunette. She slides her tongue along Sara's as the brunette grabs Catherine's ass pulling her closer. Catherine whimpers into the kiss. They hear Lindsay's voice floating through the open window.

"**Ha! I told you they would make out Aunt Nance! You owe me ten bucks."**

Reluctantly Catherine and Sara pull away for air. Catherine moves the brunette slightly. Sara whispers, **"What are you doing?"**

"**You'll see." **She brings Sara's lips back to her own, and slips her free hand up Sara's shirt. Catherine starts to massage the brunette's breast.

Suddenly they hear Lindsay screech, **"Ewwww Mom, you're disgusting!"**

Catherine pulls away, and winks at Sara before yelling, **"That's what you get for spying Lindsay Willows!"**

* * *

TBC...soon


	35. Chapter 35

Sara is packing by the light of Catherine's bathroom. She does not want to wake the sleeping teenager who has finally fallen asleep in her mother's bed. Sara hasn't seen Catherine since the morning the blonde visited Nancy's. That was two days ago. She has briefly heard from Catherine, but she was hoping to spend some time with the blonde before she has to leave tomorrow afternoon. Sara knows it is only a week, but Catherine and her have finally began to work things out. She doesn't want to leave now. Not when their relationship is so fragile, and can go either way.

Sara turns to discover Catherine standing watching her. In the dark she can't make out the blonde's expression, but hopes it is a good one. Sara whispers, **"Hey Baby! I was hoping I would get to see you before I leave tomorrow." **The brunette returns her attention to the closet and continues the tedious task of distinguishing the difference between her clothes and Catherine's in the dark, and then trying to figure out what it is she is actually packing. She is slightly unnerved with the fact that Catherine has yet to say anything. Looking over her shoulder Sara finds that the blonde is no longer in the room. Sara abandons her boring job to look for Catherine. Stumbling down the hallway Sara can see the light on in the kitchen so she continues to make her way to the room. She however is having difficulty navigating around the mess she has made all over the house while she has been packing, and the lack of light makes her journey all the more difficult. Finally she makes it to the kitchen, and Sara is relieved to discover she has not managed to break anything.

Catherine is standing with her back to Sara gazing through the kitchen window, over the sink, into the pitch black night. Sara takes the time to observe Catherine. The blonde has on a pair of tight black pants, killer high heel boots, and has not yet taken off her brown leather jacket that Sara loves her in so much. Sara approaches Catherine, and wraps her arms around the blonde's waist. Resting her head on the older woman's shoulder she kisses Catherine's neck, and enjoys the scent of the woman's shampoo. **"Is everything okay Cat?"**Catherine breaks out of Sara's arms and turns around leaning against the counter. Sara senses the blonde needs her space, and moves back a few inches. This gives her a chance to take in the blonde's expression. Sara can see Catherine's walls have gone up in an attempt to hide the fear and shock that is clearly etched into the blonde's features. Tears are rapidly building in the older woman's eyes, but she seems not to notice. She doesn't even appear to be in the room with Sara.

Catherine's adrenaline still hasn't dropped after she had turned in the parking garage to come face to face with Leo Finely. All the things he had said, and all of his actions had scared the shit out of her even if she is hesitant to admit it. She had only been doing her job, and like many times she was blamed for someone's secrets being exposed. It wasn't every day though when that person works up the nerve to confront her. Having to pull out her gun had initiated a new wave of adrenaline after the first had started to fade away. She is tugged out of her thoughts by someone squeezing her hand. As the fog of her flashback disappears Catherine is confronted by the concern is Sara's dark eyes. She feels Sara drying the wetness on her face, and it takes her a minute to realize she has started crying. **"Cath, Sweetie what happened?"** Sara's voice is quiet and soothing.

"**One of the suspects on the case I was working confronted me after I had closed it. I was on my way out to the car, and I thought I could feel someone's eyes on me. Leo Finely, registered sex offender, aka Dean James. Let's just put it this way the Blonde Nazi Bitch ruined his life, and if he decides he ****doesn't want to live any longer as a gift to me and everything I stand for he is going to come to my house and blow his brains out on my front lawn." **Catherine can't take her emotions any longer and breaks. Sobs rack her body, and Sara pulls her in tightly protecting her from the rest of the world. In the comfort of Sara's strong, gentle arms Catherine can let herself go, because it is only the two of them, and she knows Sara is there to catch her if she falls. When she starts to regain control of her body Catherine wraps her arms around Sara's waist and clings to her firmly preparing to crash when the brunette lets go. Sara doesn't let go though. She guides Catherine to the couch and holds the blonde running her fingers through Catherine's soft hair, and placing kisses on the older woman's head.

Catherine catches her breath and pulls back so that she can see Sara's face, but not breaking their contact; afraid to break the contact. **"Thank you."** She lightly kisses the brunette trying to convey her emotions to Sara. When Catherine breaks their kiss Sara rests her hand on the back of Catherine's head, and guides her back into their embrace. She brings Catherine in as close to her as possible and stokes Catherine's cheek.

"**I love you Cat. Are you going to be okay?"**

"**Yea now I am. Thanks to you." **Sara squeezes Catherine in their embrace and brushes her lips on top of the blonde's head. After a while Sara hears Catherine stifling a yawn.

"**Do you want to go to bed? We have to share it with Linzz, but I bet we can squeeze in. I can finish packing tomorrow."**

"**Okay." **Catherine wraps her arms around Sara's waist as they attempt to make it down the hall in the dark.

Entering the bedroom Catherine holds back a groan by leaning into Sara's shoulder. Lindsay is diagonally spread out across the bed on her stomach. **"Bed hog,"**Catherine whispers. Sara smiles and has the blonde sit on the edge of the bed while she tries to adjust the teenager to one side of it. Her effort fails though. Lindsay only grunts and spreads out more. Finally Sara restores to poking the girl in the side.

Her head shoots up off the mattress, **"Huh? Wa..?"**

"**You're taking up the whole bed."**

"**No I'm not." **Lindsay's puts her head back down.

"**No way Linzz Willows you are not going back to sleep until you move over." **Lindsay rolls her eyes at Sara, and props herself up then drags herself to one side of the bed. She looks around sleepy eyed.

"**Hey Mom!"**

"**Hey Linzz."**

"**Are you okay?"**

"**Fine." **Lindsay shrugs and rolls onto her side before falling back asleep.

Catherine crawls into the bed, and waits for Sara who is standing her eyes gliding over the blonde. **"Are you coming to bed?"**

"**Not when you have those boots on you will end up stabbing me."**

"**Huh? Oh." **

"**Why don't you change into some pajamas?" **Catherine makes a grumbling noise, and hauls herself out of bed. She undresses and Sara hands her a man's button up dress shirt which she throws on not bothering to button it, and slides back under the covers. **"Lindsay is going to think we were doing things next to her in bed if she wakes up and gets an eyeful of your front." **

"**I don't care. Will you just come to bed?" **Sara rolls her eyes and lies down next to Catherine. Catherine snuggles into the brunette's side, and tangles her legs with Sara's before falling into a deep sleep.—

The blaring of the alarm pierces through Lindsay's dreaming haze. By the sound of the groaning next to her she isn't the only it woke. When the alarm doesn't stop beeping Lindsay realizes it is closest to her. She slams down on the snooze button, and affectively manages to knock it off the night stand. **"Oh fuck!"**

"**Linzz language."**

"**Sorry Mom."**

"**Sara you awake sweetie?"**

"**Mmmmm."**

Lindsay turns toward her mom after finding the alarm. **"Oh Jesus Mom! You could have at least covered up and pretended you two weren't doing God knows what in the bed next to me!"**

"**I told you she would catch on Cath."**

"**Ummmm,"** Catherine opens her eyes and catches a glimpse of the devilish grin on Sara's face.

"**I told you didn't I Cat? You know Linzz I am extremely impressed by your sleeping skills. You sleep like a rock! I mean okay yeah I might have managed to sleep through your mom screaming my name as she reached her climax for the fourth time, but anyone would be in awe the way you slept through the bed shaking last night. I mean we were using the strap on and everything and you didn't wake up!"**

"**Ewwww!"** Lindsay screams as she jumps out of the bed. Sara has been possessed by a fit of laughter; Catherine nudges the brunette causing her to fall off the bed.

"**Owww fuck! Catherine Willows that hurt!"**

"**That's what you get for lying about our sex life Sweetie. I believe you were the one screaming my name."**

"**Sure I was Babe, keep telling yourself that."**

"**Ewww still here!"**

"**You know Ms. Sidle I believe that comment just earned you a permanent stay on the couch when you get back."**

"**Awww Cat I was only kidding with you."**

"**I wouldn't mind that I would have less to worry about." **Lindsay has a horrified expression plastered on her face. One look at her daughter and Catherine is overcome by laughter. **"What is so funny?"**

"**The…look on…your face...it's priceless."** Catherine attempts to reply through her struggle to breathe.

"**Lemme see!"** Sara exclaims as she bolts up from her position on the floor. **"Damn I missed it! All that thought I put into horrifying you, and I missed it."**

"**Wait …what?"**

"**You think I would actually do stuff like that with you in the room… in the house for that matter?"**

"**Ummm,"** Lindsay is completely lost.

"**Hell, ask your mom how weird I am about it."**

"**It's true Linzz she is extremely…boring. All the stuff you've seen is my fault. Wait you know what? It's not, it's Sara's fault**

"**Huh?"** Sara sends Catherine a puzzled expression.

"**Yep. Her fault for being so damn sexy I couldn't resist." **Catherine glances at Sara, and smiles at the brunette's adorable blush.

"**Yet again ewwww!"**

"**Alright Sara stop distracting Lindsay so she can get ready for school."**

"**Me…I wasn't…hey!"**

"**Shush and I will make it up to you later."**

"**Nope, Catherine I don't think you can get out of this one so easily."**

"**Want to bet?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**You know I think I am going to go before I end up witnessing something extremely disturbing that corrupts my virgin eyes!" **Lindsay practically runs out of the room mentally kicking herself for getting the two of them started.

Once Lindsay leaves the room Sara turns back to look up at Catherine. **"You still owe me big time Ms. Willows."**

"**Do I?"**

"**You bet."**

"**Will this make up for it?" **Her voice is full of lust and is much huskier than she meant it to be. Catherine slips off her night shirt and stands in front of Sara who is still leaning against the wall on the floor. Catherine watches Sara's eyes darken with desire. She crouches down making sure the brunette can see everything. She observes as Sara roams her body. Those brown orbs trace her every curve doing a double take over her chest, and lingering between her legs. Catherine can feel the newly formed wetness from her core beginning to drip. Catherine is certain the brunette can see the effect she is having on the older woman as her eyes remained fixed between Catherine's legs.

"**That…that's a start,"**Sara manages to say through her incoherent state. She looks back up into Catherine's eyes which have gone from clear blue to almost black.Putting her hand behind Catherine's head she lightly kisses the blonde, but pulls away before Catherine can deepen it. **"Why don't you go back to sleep Hun. I'll take Linzz to school. I have to finish packing."**

"**I don't know how much sleep I will be getting now, but I will try. Wake me when you get back?"**

"**Maybe." **Sara waits for Catherine to get up then covers the blonde with blankets and kisses her passionately before leaving the room.—

Catherine sighs it has been a long week. She is dying to get home and see Sara who is supposed to be flying in about now. Her day has been busy, and she wants to lock herself in her office and nap until the end of shift. Of course she is not that lucky. Turning as she hears Grissom calling her from down the hall she waits and gives him time to catch up. As she waits she subconsciously twirls her necklace with her finger as she thinks of Sara.

Sara walks into the lab and smiles at Judy. **"I thought you weren't supposed to start until tomorrow?"**

"**I'm not. I'm only here to visit. I don't need a pass now do I since I officially work here?"**

"**No you can go head in Hun. I trust you won't get me in trouble."**

"**Thanks Judy." **Sara carefully peers through each of the walls looking out for Catherine. She wants to surprise the blonde, but to do that she needs to successfully make it to the older woman's office without being seen by her. Greg catches Sara's eye and is about to yell to her when she places a finger to her lips. He looks at her curiously. She points to the blonde who is standing in front of Greg with her back to Sara, and of course Grissom is with them too. _Just my luck._ Greg nods, and engages Catherine in 

a conversation just as she is about to turn away. Sara rushes past and slips into Catherine's office closing the door behind her. She can hear the clicking of the blonde's heels coming her way. Hurriedly she glances around, **"Place to hide, place to hide. I've got it!"**Quickly she squeezes underneath Catherine's desk. She has carefully placed the flowers she has brought the blonde on the desk, and she hopes Catherine doesn't notice right away. The door squeaks open, and Sara can hear Catherine talking to Grissom as they enter. When Catherine sits Sara is very pleased at where she chose to hide. Turning her head to look at Catherine's legs she has a very nice view up the blonde's skirt. Her eyes slide down Catherine's toned legs to the blonde's high heels. She is busy wondering how the blonde walks in those things when she hears the door shut, and Catherine sighing. She watches as Catherine slips off her shoes and props her feet up on the desk. Sara is contemplating waiting to make her presence known for a little longer when she realizes her hand has a mind of its own and is about to stroke the bottom side of Catherine's thigh. She withdraws her hand just in time. She can see Catherine flexing her shoulders as she leans back in her chair. Suddenly Sara decides she doesn't want to wait any longer, and is about to touch Catherine when Greg walks in the room.

Not seeing Sara the young CSI subtly glances around the room and notices Sara's feet under the desk. He figures that Catherine hasn't noticed anything yet, or he just interrupted something intimate. **"I'm not interrupting anything am I Cath?"** Catherine takes her feet off the desk and leans forward in the chair.

"**Nope just relaxing Greg. Why would you say that?"**

"**No reason."**

"**Ummmm okay. So what can I do for you?"**

"**I need you to sign this report so that Warrick and I can close the Barton case."**

"**Wasn't that originally your shift?"**

"**Yeah but I can't find Griss anywhere so I turned to you."**

"**Alright bring it here." **While Catherine glances over the report Greg nudges Sara's feet, and they disappear. **"You two did a good job on this case Greg. Let Warrick know I say so if you see him."**

"**Sure will. Have a nice rest of shift Catherine."**

"**Yeah right."**

"**I'm sure it will be fun."**Greg mumbles under his breath.

"**What was that?"**

"**Nothing."** Greg hits the lock on the door before her leaves.

Sara hears Catherine groan. The brunette waits until she is certain the blonde is resting her head on her desk with her eyes closed. Slowly she slides her hand up the inside of Catherine's thigh. The blonde visibly jumps, and Sara hopes she doesn't scream. Quickly she speaks up before Catherine has the chance to yell. **"Tired Baby?"**

Catherine rolls back in her chair to get a better view of under her desk. While doing so she asks, **"Sara?"**

"**Surprise. I hope I didn't scare you too much."**

"**Why are you hiding under my desk?"**

"**To surprise you. Jeez Cath you are a little slow today. You must be tired."**

"**Are you gonna come out from under there?"**

"**I don't know I was rather enjoying the view."**

"**That's nice Sidle."**

"**What?"**

"**Will you please come out?"**

"**Fine. Only because you are so persistent."**

"**Good." **Sara crawls out from under Catherine's desk, and stretches.

"**So how's your day going?"**

"**Well it's been pretty boring until now."**

"**I'm glad I could make it better."**

"**I never said that."**

"**Oww Catherine that hurt. Join me on the couch?" **

"**Sure why not it's more comfortable than this chair."**

"**Sounds like you're not too happy to see me."**

"**I never said that either. God you sure do make a lot of assumptions."**

"**Yes I do." **Catherine takes a seat next to Sara on the couch, turns toward her, and tucks her foot under her leg then rests her leg in the brunette's lap. She leans in and kisses Sara running her tongue along the younger woman's bottom lip. Sara opens her mouth, and Catherine moans into the kiss as Sara's hand glides over the inside of Catherine's silky thigh. Pulling away Catherine rests her forehead on Sara's. **"I missed you."**

"**I've missed you too Babe."**

**

* * *

**TBC... I'm starting on my next chapter, but I wanted to get this out in case I don't finish the other today.


	36. Chapter 36

Sara sighs and returns her evidence to the vault. She hasn't gone home in a few days, and she needs a break before she cracks. This case has been hard on her even though she refuses to admit it. She grabs some coffee in the break room then heads to Catherine's office to use the couch. As soon as she shuts her eyes the door opens letting the light flood in. She assumes that one of the guys caught her coming in here, and needs to inform her of another dead end. Opening her eyes she discovers Catherine standing there looking a little confused. **"Do you mind shutting the door... the light…I have a head ache."**

"**Oh yeah sorry Sweetie. I was just trying to figure out if I had stepped into the wrong office for a second there."**

"**Sorry I needed a break I didn't think you'd mind if I borrowed your couch for a little while."**

"**No of course not. It is always nice to see you."**

"**Sorry I haven't been home in a couple of days."**

"**It's fine Hun. I heard about the case from Ecklie, and figured you would be working nonstop on this one."**

"**Yeah well you know how I am with rape cases."** Sara motions toward the door which is still open. **"Door , please Babe."**

"**Right." **Catherine closes the door and sits behind her desk. She puts on her glasses. Sara loves her in those glasses even if Catherine hates them. She watches the blonde go through files and begin to write a report. Sara loves watching Catherine; getting the chance to see all the little things she does that make her so sexy. Like the way she tucks the same strand of hair behind her ear three times in one minute, and how she taps her fingers on the desk when she reads, and how her eyes sparkle with a rekindled fire when she gets a new lead on her case, or the small smile that appears on her face when she talks with Sara that she doesn't realize is there. Catherine glances up at Sara with concern after she has gotten a glimpse of the brunette out of the corner of her eye. It doesn't bother Catherine that Sara watches her especially after the brunette explained why she stares so much. **"You okay Baby? You look really pale. Do you want some Advil?"**

"**No thanks I'm fine. Do you have time to take five minutes off?"**

"**For you? Always." **Catherine walks to the couch and bends over to kiss the brunette. When they pull away for air Sara repositions herself so that Catherine can sit between her legs and rest her head on Sara's chest. When Catherine gets settled Sara wraps her arms around the blonde, and begins to drift into a peaceful sleep.—

Sara is consumed in her work. She finds herself again working overtime. She is oblivious to the commotion around her for she has secluded herself to the quiet end of the building to go over evidence. Her thoughts keep wandering back to Catherine though. The blonde has the night off and Sara is disappointed she can't visit the older woman on her break like she usually does. It has been two weeks since she started working on the Dayshift, and she has had barely any time to spend with Catherine or Lindsay. Getting frustrated Sara decides to check and see if Wendy has her DNA results yet. People are rushing around the lab, and Sara is curious in relation to what is going on. She is about to stop O' Riley and ask him when she hears Ecklie call her name. **"Sidle,"**he repeats when she doesn't immediately turn. When the brunette moves toward Ecklie he is confronted with one of the most puzzled expressions he has seen in a long time. **"Can you come into my office for a minute?"** She nods, and when she enters the room he closes the door behind her.

"**What is going on Ecklie?"**

"**We have recently been informed of a hostage situation, and we need our best on it."**

"**Oh where should I go? I'm assuming that's why you wanted to talk to me."**

"**Kind of."**

"**What do you mean kind of?"**

"**Well I defiantly need you on the scene, but I needed to remind you to stay objective."**

"**Okay why? You don't think I can handle this?"**

"**Not really."**

"**Why?"**

Ecklie takes a deep breath before answering, **"Because of who is involved."**

"**Ecklie I am going to repeat my original question. What is going on?"**

"**Well I need you to head out to the Willows residence. Lindsay Willows is being held hostage on her front lawn."**

"**Wha…what?" **Sara collapses in the chair behind her. _Lindsay. The girl whose adoption papers went through last week. Lindsay my daughter. No this can't be happening. We have finally become a real family and someone is threatening to take my daughter away from me._ **"Who is the son of a bitch that is threatening her?"**

"**Leo Finely."**

"**No! The asshole that threatened Catherine?"**

"**He threatened Catherine? When?"**

"**I can't talk now Ecklie I have to get to the scene."**

Sara has broken about fifty traffic laws on her way home, but she could care less. As she turns on to the street she enters a world of blue and red lights. Jumping out of the car she pushes through to the front of the crowd. She sees Catherine sobbing to the right by the front door begging Leo to give Lindsay back. Leo is screaming about how she ruined his life, and instead of ending his life he is going to ruin hers. The man standing behind Lindsay is tall, blonde, with faded blue eyes, and has an appearance that makes him seems like he could be into drugs. Sara catches Lindsay's eye. The teenager has tears streaming down her face, and her eyes are filled with terror, but she is doing her best to stay strong for her mom. To anyone who doesn't know Lindsay she would look strong, but Sara can see the fear plainly written out on her face. Sara knows what she has to do, and she knows she will never regret it.

Sara takes a step onto the lawn. **"Stop right there, or the girl will get it!"** Leo yells and Catherine's pleas become louder.

"**I want to make a deal with you Leo."** Sara takes out her gun and carefully places it on the ground her eyes not leaving the knife on Lindsay's neck the entire time. She sees blood start to trickle out from beneath the cold steal as Leo's nerves kick in and he tightens his grip.

"**What the fuck could you offer me?"** He watches Sara slip off her bullet proof vest next trying to prove she is no threat.

"**You can take me as a hostage if you let Lindsay go."**

"**Why would I want you? You won't ruin the Nazi Bitch's life if she loses you."**

"**Yes I will. You have to trust me, I will."**

"**How? You are only at most a coworker are you not?"**

"**I'm her girlfriend Leo." **Sara takes a few steps closer holding her hands where they are visible. She watches the blonde man hiss something in Lindsay's ear, and the teenager nods.

"**How do I not know you to aren't lying?"**

As if on cue Catherine screams from her own little world as she finally notices Sara, **"No Sara don't! I can't lose both of you! I won't be able to live. Please don't!"**

"**Alright come closer. Slowly! Put your hands where I can see them."** Sara obeys the man's commands. He quickly lets go of Lindsay and grabs Sara. Sara takes Lindsay's hand before the teenager can rush away. Lindsay glances at Sara who tugs on her to come closer. **"What are you doing? You better not be trying to trick me!"**

"**No I just want to give her one last kiss good bye."**

"**Fine, but make it quick."** The man tightens his grip on Sara and readjusts the knife to remind Sara that he is there, and he holds her life in his hands. Lindsay moves up to Sara who kisses the teenagers forehead. She whispers into the girl's ear, **"I love you kiddo, and if anything does happen promise you will take care of your mom for me. Don't let her give up on life. Promise?"**

"**I..I promise. I love you too… Mom."** Lindsay gives Sara a faint smile. The brunette's eyes have filled with tears. She has a family. No matter what happens she has gotten the chance to have a family, and that thought has boosted her courage. She shifts so that she can see Catherine.

The blonde is holding onto her daughter and sobbing. She looks at Sara, and Sara attempts to smile. When the blonde turns away burring her head in Lindsay's shoulder Sara calls out, **"Catherine!" **Catherine focuses her attention back on the brunette.

Sara hears the man yell, **"Shut up bitch!"**But she ignores him.

Gazing into Catherine's dark pools that are swimming with fear Sara doesn't know what she would do without this gorgeous woman, and the thought of loosing Catherine is scaring her more than the thought of dying. **"Cath, Baby I promise you that no matter what happens I will love you forever. It's you and me forever Catherine I promise."**

Catherine nods her eyes remaining on the brunette. Sara is giving her a small smile as tears run down her checks. She can see in Sara's eyes that the younger woman needs reassurance, but she can't find her voice. Finally she manages to croak out, **"Forever." **By the expression of love mixed with fear on Sara's face Catherine knows that brunette has heard her.

Sara returns her attention to the crowd in front of her. She blocks out the sobs of her family, and reminds herself no matter what happens she will have a family forever. She can see Brass, Warrick, Nick, Grissom, and Greg standing behind the line of SWAT men. She can detect the traces of horror, and sadness on their faces, and she wishes she could comfort them. Maybe she has always had a family. The lights of the emergency vehicles make the whole situation seem surreal to Sara. She thinks about how they have affected the crime scenes she has worked. Making things less real helping you cope as you process evidence with empty, glazed over eyes staring at you, or ones holding nothing but fear. Will they be the same for her crime scene? She doesn't know. She feels like she is in a different world and nothing can hurt her. The only thing keeping her in reality is the knife against her neck. She struggles, but finally manages to bring herself back into reality to hear what is going on. **"Let Sara go, and we can make a deal Leo!"**

"**No you don't understand it doesn't matter what happens to me, because I have nothing left anymore. Nothing. Because of that bitch!"**

"**Calm down Leo."**

"**Calm down. You are telling me to calm down when I have about twenty guns aimed on me, and you are telling me to calm down!" **Sara winces as the knife digs deeper into her skin drawing blood.

"**Leo listen to me. Please let Ms. Sidle go she has nothing to do with this."**

"**Well you see that's where you're wrong, because you see she volunteered to be in this situation to save the life of the Bitch's little mini me. She doesn't have to be here right now. The way I see it she could have saved her own ass if she wasn't so selfless. See what you get for being like that Sara? See? **

**Now you know I don't have anything against you. If I end your life I might feel a small tinge of guilt for taking such a pretty brunette off this Earth, but I will get over it. I will get over it, because I will have gotten my revenge on the woman who has her head stuck too far up her ass to realize or admit that things are her fault."**

"**Leo please let Sara go. We can work this out Leo I promise we will work it out. Find something for you to live for." **Sara finally places the loud voice that has sounded so familiar to her. O' Riley. He is the one negotiating. That floods her with relief. She knows if it was Brass she would only feel pain at the sound of his voice, because the detective long ago decided to take her under his wing, and has become like a father to her.

"**No. No you DON'T understand!"** That's when Leo made his first mistake. Being swept up in his emotions he takes the knife off Sara's neck, and it is now swinging around wildly with his hand gestures. **"She ruined my Life I have nothing left!"** This action does not go unnoticed by Sara, and she takes her chance. She stomps on his foot to distract him so that when he realizes that she is escaping he doesn't strike out with the knife. Sara is about to bolt, but the pain isn't enough for Leo to stop and he swings the knife at Sara. She feels the sharp metal pierce her shoulder. Her cry of pain mixes with cries of fear from Lindsay, and Catherine. When he withdraws the knife from Sara she knows he is going to strike again, but this time he won't miss. Rapidly she dives down increasing the distance he will have to stab her , and rolls onto her back ignoring the blinding pain. She kicks in between Leo's legs and he doubles over in pain. A gunshot rings through the night. Sara moves out of the way just in time as Leo Finely comes crashing down. Dead.

Sara pushes herself up ,and stumbles toward the Willows women. Paramedics are rushing up toward them attempting along the way not to contaminate the scene, but there are more important matters. A sharp pain passes through Sara, and the world starts to spin. She drops to her knees and continues to make her way to her family. Catherine is paralyzed in shock. She manages to regain her senses and rushes over to Sara. The brunette's eyes are unfocused as she watches the two blonde's making their way over to her. Another flash of pain hits her and Sara falls to the ground giving in to the darkness.

Paramedics swarm her and begin to take care of her as they hurriedly move back to the ambulance. A young man follows quickly with Lindsay. Catherine runs after them screaming Sara's name.

* * *

TBC... Sorry about the cliff hanger. I will get to my next chapter as soon as I can. Hopefully I can start writing it tonight. there will only be a few more after this most likely one or two. I hope you enjoyed the update!


	37. Chapter 37

Head pounding Sara forces her eyes open. She is laying in a hospital bed the shades are drawn with the sun peaking through, and dancing across Catherine's blonde locks and porcelain skin. Sara smiles at the sight in front of her; she is vaguely aware of a dull throbbing in her shoulder. She stops for a minute and it finally kicks in that she is in a hospital room. _Now what did I do to get here?_

She is interrupted before her memories of the previous night can return. A plump, smiling nurse walks into the room. Sara holds a finger to her lips then points at Catherine. The nurse nods and approaches Sara before quietly talking. **"You're awake? How is your shoulder feeling?"**

Her memories hit her like a brick wall. _Hostage. Lindsay. Took her place. Stabbed. Where is Lindsay?_ Panic grips the brunette, but when she attempts to speak her tongue seems too large for her mouth, and her throat is burning with dryness. **"Wh…"**

"**Hold on love. Why don't you have a drink before talking? You lost a fair amount of blood you know. The pretty thing beside you raised quite a ruckus when we wouldn't allow her to be with you while the doctors stitched you up."**

"**Sounds like Catherine to me." **Sara replies weakly with a faint smile. **"Have you seen a teenager wandering around that looks exactly like Catherine?"**

"**Lindsay? Yeah that little girl is a Sweetheart managed to get her mom to calm down and sit in her room down the hall. She was discharged this morning she only was required a nights rest. She left very unwillingly with a woman that looked remarkably like both blondes. I assumed it was Catherine's sister."**

"**Do you have a phone…can I used that phone there?"**

"**Sure can Darling. I need to check your stitches then I will be out of your way." **Carefully Sara runs her hand lightly through Catherine's hair, and massages the blonde's scalpnot wanting to wake her. When the nurse is finished Sara picks up the phone and dials Nancy's number.

"**Hello?"**

"**Nancy?"**

"**Sara? Why are you being so quiet?"**

"**Catherine's sleeping, and I don't want to wake her up. Is Lindsay there?"**

"**Yeah do you want to talk to her?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Okay hold on."**

"**Sara?"** The sound of the teenager's voice fills Sara with relief.

"**Linzz, Sweetie are you okay?"**

"**Yeah Sara I'm fine. Are you okay?"**

"**Yeah. I was worried about you when I woke up and you weren't here."**

"**I was dragged out of the hospital."**

"**I've heard. I should go before I wake up your mom. Are you sure that you are alright?"**

"**Yes Sara I'm perfectly alright. Aunt Nancy said I can come visit you later." **

"**Okay."**

"**You should rest."**

"**Yeah, yeah stop nagging me mother. I love you."**

"**Love you too. Sara?"**

"**Yeah?"**

"**Thank you, you know for saving my life."**

"**You're welcome Linzz, but I could never just stand there if you're in trouble. You have proof now if you doubted it before."**

"**I didn't. Bye Sara. Sleep!"**

"**Bye Linzz."**

Sara glances around already bored. She decides to watch Catherine sleep for a while before asking for something to read. Sara is sitting lost in thought observing Catherine's angelic presence when the nurse from earlier walks in. **"Sorry to bother you Ms. Sidle."**

"**It's no problem ummm?"**

"**Beth."**

"**It's no problem Beth; I was getting kind of lonely anyways. What can I do for you?" **She flashes Beth one of her famous, rare, full blown, gap toothed smiles.

"**Well aren't you lucky, because you have a swarm of visitors waiting outside to see you. Rather odd bunch if you ask me, but extremely nice."**

"**I'm guessing that would be the guys, and a few others from work. I agree odd, but family."**

"**Can I let them in?"**

"**Sure, tell them to be quiet though since Catherine is sleeping."**

"**I'm going to let them in two at a time. It is quite a group. You must be popular."**

"**I guess." **Beth leaves the room and ten minutes later Greg floats in goofily followed by a sullen Grissom. Greg rushes over to Sara and pulls her into a loose hug.

"**Don't you ever do that to me again Sidle. That was not funny. You always have show off and be the hero don't you?"** Greg whispers with a smile on his face. Sara is glad her came in first. Greg always knows how to lighten the mood.

"**It's nice to see you too Greggo. What took you guys so long to get in here?"**

"**Oh there was a little scuffle about who was coming in first, but Griss and I were totally prepared to use force." **Sara chuckles and catches Grissom's eye.

"**Hey Gil."**

"**Sara." **Grissom is at a loss for words and thankfully Sara knows him well enough that she can always tell. She lifts her hand motioning for him to come closer. Greg moves out of the way and observes from the corner. Grissom looks down at Sara. She can see the unshed tears in his eyes. Sara tugs the older man down into a hug and holds him as close as she can with one arm.

"**I'm sorry Gil," **she repeatedly whispers in his ear.

"**It's fine Sara as long as you are happy I will survive."**

"**I am."**

"**I know."** He pulls away appearing as if the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders **"So I brought you this." **Grissom passes her the latest issue of _The Journal of Forensic Science._

"**Aww Gris thanks. You are always thinking ahead. How did you know I would be bored out of my mind here?"**

"**A feeling I had." **She smiles at him then turns her attention to Greg as he speaks.

"**I brought you something too. Only it's not for here. Well I guess it could be depending on how impatient you are." **Sara throws him a curious look. Grabbing inside the bag she pulls out a pair of candy underwear, and lace lingerie.

"**Why thank you Greg, how thoughtful."**

"**My pleasure. So you and Catherine that's hot. Do think I could get a show sometime?"**

"**You should bring that issue up with Catherine." **She replies rolling her eyes.

"**Speaking of Catherine I wish I got the chance to say hi, but I don't want to wake sleeping beauty. Griss we should probably go. Doc was getting ready to beat people with his walking stick when we left."**

"**Ahh good point." **Both men give Sara hugs and say good bye before retreating from the room. Sara focuses on Catherine who is still sleeping. Sara is relieved the blonde is getting sleep, but it seems unlike her to sleep through all of the talking no matter how quiet they are being. Sara reminds herself of the previous night's events and concludes the blonde must be emotionally exhausted.

Her mind is again ripped away from the blonde when Warrick, and Nick enter.

"**Hey there's my superhero," **the Texan says.

"**Hey Nick, Warrick."**

"**Hey girl you gave us quite a scare. Especially this one right here," **Warrick says motioning toward Catherine. They both give her hugs and the room falls into a comfortable silence. **"You know you and Cath. I've always known there was something there, and from the first day I realized it I always knew that if you two decided to act on it you would be perfect for each other, and inseparable. I guess us guys never really had a chance with either of you."**

"**And you didn't say anything Warrick? If I seen that earlier. Man you left us in the dark when you knew!"** Sara kids with him. She glances a Nick who remains silent. He is watching over her his eyes filled with brotherly love.

"**You alright Nick?"**

"**Yeah Sar, fine. You know when you get out of here you gotta come over to my place and we will have a video game marathon. The whole team. I'm getting to be pretty good competition for you in Halo."**

"**Now that is something I doubt Nicky. It sounds fun though count me in."**

"**Cool. We should go, but we'll be back later; don't think you've gotten rid of us."**

"**I would never dream it."**

"**Good." **They both give her hugs and leave. Next to enter the room are Doc Robbins, David, and Hodges. _Hodges!_

"**Don't look at me in such disbelief Sara I thought I should make an appearance."** Sara smiles and refuses to admit that she has missed Hodges' personality a little bit.

"**How are you doing Hodges?"**

"**Better than you that's for sure."**

"**You've always been so nice Hodges,"** David comments. He crosses the room and gives Sara a hug.

"**Hey Super Dave. I haven't seen you in a while."**

"**I know it's unfortunate. How are you holding up?"**

"**Pretty good. Considering the circumstances."**

"**Well I hope you make a full recovery."**

"**Thanks."** She peers around David at Doc Robbins.

"**Are you going to hide in the shadows the whole time, or are you going to come over here and give me a hug Doc?"**

"**I could do that for my favorite CSI."**

"**Aww you're making me blush." **Al walks over to her and gives her a hug before switching to his caring doctor mode.

"**Now let me take a look at those stitches. I don't trust anyone in hospitals." **Sara turns on her side revealing her stitches, and waits while he carefully examines them. **"Looks pretty decent. Give me a call if they give you any discomfort. Now how's the pain?"**

"**Mild."**

"**Do you want me to get them to up the dosage of your pain meds?"**

"**No I think I'm good thanks."**

"**Okay. I'm supposed to tell you that Brass will be here as soon as he finishes paperwork, and swings by to pick up the smaller Willows woman."**

"**Okay thanks." **Sara attempts to stifle a yawn, but it does not go unnoticed by her friends. David takes her gifts and places them on the side table, and they all give her hugs before leaving.

Sara looks at Catherine's position knowing the blonde is going to be extremely sore when she wakes up. **"Cath?" **Sara whispers.

"**Mmmmm."**

"**Catherine?"**

"**Mmmmm."**

"**Do you want to come up on the bed with me? You look uncomfortable?"** She is quietly waiting for some sort of response when Catherine's head shoots up off the bed as she realizes who is talking to her. Before Sara has the chance to say anything Catherine latches herself to the brunette by the lips. Their kiss is full of passion and fear. When they pull away tears are streaming down Catherine's face. **"Baby **

**come up here with me and tell me what's wrong."** Catherine stands up and stretches then goes to the other side of the bed so she can curl up on Sara without hurting her.

"**How long have you been up?" **Catherine asks between placing light kisses on Sara's neck.

"**About an hour."**

"**And you didn't wake me up?"**

"**Well I wanted you to sleep. So I called Lindsay; I panicked when she wasn't here, and I've had a bunch of visitors."**

"**I can see that. How did that go."**

"**Pretty good. Apparently Grissom, and Greg were about to get violent so they were allowed in first."**

"**How did things go with Grissom?"**

"**Good. I think we came to an understanding, and being thoughtful in his own quirky way he brought me reading material. He knows me well enough to know I'm going to get restless. Now Greg brought us a present, and he has a show he wants to ask you about."**

"**What did he bring?" **

"**Look in that bag right there." **Catherine peeks in and her expression changes to one of amusement.

"**He said it was for later depending on how impatient I am." **Catherine chuckles at the comment.

"**Who else came?"**

"**Nick, Warrick, Doc Robbins, Super Dave, and Hodges."**

"**Hodges?"**

"**Hodges. Oh, and Brass is stopping by as soon as he can with Linzz."**

"**Seems like I missed a lot." **Catherine's tears haven't stopped, and Sara is getting more concerned by the minute.

"**Cath?"**

"**What?"**

"**Please tell me what is wrong."**

"**It's just I almost lost you and Lindsay. I almost lost you, and I don't know what I would have done if I did. I love you so much Sara, and it scares the hell out of me, because I know if I lose you I will be destroyed. Left hollow, and numb. I almost lost you. Don't get me wrong I am so thankful that you **

**saved Lindsay, but if I lost you…I don't know…" **Catherine has started to sob uncontrollably. Sara holds her the best that she can, and places light kisses on her head.

Sara repeatedly whispers, **"It's okay Cat you didn't lose me I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, and I'm going to be right here forever. You didn't lose me Sweetie…"** Catherine finally stops crying and looks up at Sara red, and puffy eyed. She catches the brunette's lips in a kiss. It isn't heated only loving as they understand how the other is feeling. It is one of the most powerful kisses they've shared, and both women are reluctant to break apart. Catherine snuggles back into Sara as she continues to caress the brunette's cheek. **"I love you Baby, and it scares the hell out of me too at how much I do. Can I tell you something?"**

"**Of course Sweetie anything."**

"**Last night when I hugged Lindsay she called me Mom, and then when you told me forever I didn't care what happened to me anymore, because I knew I had gotten my chance at a family, and that I would always have one no matter what happened. If I had to take my life to keep you and Lindsay safe I knew that was how it was going to be. I'm not saying I wasn't scared. I was petrified, but not of dying. Of loosing you." **Catherine can't think of what to say, and she feels that there aren't words for a moment like this so instead she shows Sara how much what she has said means to her by engaging the brunette in a kiss. When they break apart Catherine tightens her grip on Sara not ever wanting to let go again. Silence falls over them. A silence that whispers in their ears the love they share, and reminds them how life can be for them. Catherine listens to Sara yawn for the fifth time in three minutes.

"**You should get some sleep Sar."**

"**You should too."**

"**I was planning on it as long as you aren't going anywhere."**

"**Nope I have a feeling I'm stuck her for a couple of days. As long as you are here I won't mind so much."**

"**Well I'm not going anywhere, and you defiantly aren't, so you should sleep, and I promise I will too."**

"**Okay." **As soon as Sara closes her eyes she falls asleep.—

Sara wakes up in a cold sweat. She is shaking and can't throw the images of Lindsay with a knife to her throat out of her mind. Catherine is observing Sara with unfocused eyes. She whispers sweet nothings in the brunette's ear to calm her down, and is stroking her cheek. Sara visibly calms when she realizes Catherine is there with her. Catherine begins to quietly sing into Sara's ear the only song she can think of knowing the effect it will have on the brunette.

"**I don't need a lot of things  
I can get by with nothing  
Of all the blessings life can bring  
I've always needed something  
**

**But I've got all I want  
When it comes to loving you  
You're my only reason  
You're my only truth**

I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through  
I need you

You're the hope that moves me  
To courage again  
You're the love that rescues me  
When the cold winds, rage  
And it's so amazing  
'Cause that's just how you are  
And I can't turn back now  
'Cause you've brought me too far

I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through  
I need you  
Oh yes I do

I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
And it carries me through  
I need you  
Oh yes I do  
I need you  
Ahh I need you"

Sara smiles at Catherine as she listens to her gentle voice. Listens to Catherine's words of love, and a few tears trickle down her cheek, but Catherine catches them and wipes them away. When the blonde finishes she gazes into the depth of Sara's eyes and searches for the truth when she asks, **"Better?"**

"**Yeah. Much."**

"**Good now go back to sleep so you can get out of here sooner."**

"**But I don't want to," **Sara is doing her best to whine. She is saved when the door opens, and Brass and Lindsay enter.

"**Uhhh are we interrupting something?"** Lindsay asks uncertainly. Sara has to smile at the expression on the teenager's face it is defiantly one she picked up from her mother.

"**No Sweetie, but now you're here I am having a bad case of déjà vu."** Catherine laughs.

"**We sure do spend a lot of time in the hospital don't we?"**

"**Yeah." **Sara says her tone presenting her hate of hospitals. Catherine gets up so she can have her good arm to give hugs. Catherine sits in the chair next to Sara's bed and watches with smiles as Sara happily interacts with the two visitors giving hugs talking, laughing, and smiling. Sara catches Catherine's eyes. She can't help noticing how beautiful Catherine looks after waking up. 'What?' Catherine mouths as she notices Sara staring again. Sara mouths back 'You looks beautiful' causing Catherine to blush furiously.

"**Even more now Cat." **Both Lindsay and Brass look at her lost after her, to them, seemingly random words. They were busy having a heated discussion about her last episode of _Law and Order: SVU. _Brass glances at his watch.

"**We better get going kiddo we have to get you back to your Aunt's before I have to go to work in twenty minutes. Looks like you will get the chance to turn on the sirens after all."**

"**Ha ha sweet!" **They distribute hugs to both Catherine, and Sara before leaving.

Catherine looks at Sara and can tell the brunette has used up all of her energy. **"Will you come cuddle with me Cath?"**

"**Of course. Can't think of wanting to do anything more than I want to do that."** Catherine lays back down, and places light kisses up and down Sara's jaw line as the brunette drifts off to sleep, smiling.

* * *

TBC...


	38. Chapter 38

I realized I forgot to credit the song in my last chapter. It is I Need You by LeAnn Rimes

* * *

Sara is lying in the hospital bed trying desperately to concentrate on her book, but is being distracted by Catherine who is pacing back and forth around the room. She has been doing this for the past two days ever since the two of them felt comfortable enough not to need constant physical contact. **"Catherine, sweetie why don't you come lay down with me?"** Catherine shakes her head no, and continues to maneuver around the tiny room. **"Why don't you go home? You are restless here, why should you be stuck here just because I am?"**

"**No,"** Catherine says firmly.

"**Come on babe you could take a non-hospital shower, and pick Linzz up early from school so you can spend time with her. I will be fine. You can come back tomorrow and pick me up, or you could come back tonight and spend the night."**

"**I don't want to leave you,"** Catherine replies not able to lock eyes with Sara.

"**Would you feel better if someone was here with me?"** Sara is struggling to hide her fears of Catherine leaving.

"**Yes," **Catherine answers quietly. She is ashamed of showing her weakness. Sara motions for Catherine to come sit next to her. She takes the older woman's hand and rubs circles on the blonde's silky skin.

"**Who?"** Sara asks lovingly.

"**You want me to choose?"**

"**I want you to be comfortable enough so that you can relax when you leave."** A small smile spreads onto Catherine's face.

"**I think I have an idea of who."** The blonde's smile is slightly mischievous.—

Sara smiles and greets her visitor. **"Hi Lily, thanks for coming to babysit me."**

"**Hi darling. I was hoping I wouldn't find you or Catherine in the hospital for a while. It's no problem anything for you sweetie. So how are you?"** Lily crosses the room and pulls Sara into a tight hug.

"**Restless, but at least I convinced Catherine to go home."**

"**When I came in she was still standing outside your door."**

"**She was what? She was supposed to leave after she called you. Will you excuse me for a sec?"**

"**Sure." **Sara gets up out of bed despite the doctor's orders, and walk quietly to the door and slips out. Catherine is sitting in a chair that is on the opposite wall facing Sara. When Sara appears in the doorframe Catherine doesn't seem to notice her.

"**Catherine Willows why are you still here?"** Sara's tone is reprimanding yet playful. Catherine glances up and gives the brunette a small smile.

"**I was waiting for my mom to get here."**

"**She's here now Cath." **Seeing the look on the blonde's face Sara's heart breaks. Catherine's appearance makes the already tiny woman look so small and lost. Sara takes a seat next to the blonde, and wraps her arms around the older woman. Catherine buries her face in Sara's hair. Sara pulls away so she can catch a glimpse of Catherine's expression. She leans in and presses her lips to Catherine's. She enjoys the warmth of Catherine's lips, and the tingling that has started since their bodies touched. Breaking apart for air Sara caresses Catherine's cheek. **"I'm going to be okay. You know that right?"**Catherine nods her head, and focuses on a spot on the floor not able to look at the brunette beside her. **"I don't want you stuck here babe, plus you need to get out of here you have started to build a moat around my bed with your pacing." **Sara can see a small smile creeping its way onto Catherine's face.

"**Alright well I should go then."**

"**Okay." **Catherine leans in and quickly kisses Sara.

"**I love you."**

"**I love you too."** Sara sits and watches Catherine walk away.—

Catherine shuts the door behind here. The house is so silent. So empty. She sighs and walks back out of the house deciding to pick up Lindsay after all.

Pulling up outside the school Catherine forces a smile onto her face when she first catches sight of her daughter. Lindsay glances at her mom, and immediately sees through Catherine's mask. **"What's wrong?"**

"**It's nice to see you too Linzz."**

"**Why are you here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be with Sara? Is that what is wrong?"**

"**Yes, but I don't want to talk about it I'm trying to forget I'm not there with her, and I wanted to spend some time with you. So what do you want to do?"**

"**I don't know."**

"**Pick something."**

"**Ummm okay do you want to go to the mall?"**

"**Sure why not."**

"**So how was school?"**

"**Boring."**

"**Why?"**

"**It's school."**

"**Good point."** Catherine turns on the radio to fill the silence that has fallen over them. She doesn't know when exactly it started, but her and Lindsay's relationship has been strained for a while now.

"**So how is Sara doing?"**

"**Good."**

"**Is she coming home tomorrow?"**

"**Yep."**

"**Good."** They fall back into silence.

Lindsay has been dragging her mother around the store and has to laugh at the look on the older woman's face when she leads her to Hot Topic. Lindsay watches her mom look around and finds it amusing that she is finding many things that she likes when her face contained pure horror as they walked in the store. Lindsay picks out a few things then goes up to her mom, **"Find anything you like?"**

"**Yeah I… why are you laughing?"**

"**Because you looked completely horrified when we walked in here, but now you have almost the whole store in your arms to buy. Ouu I like that bra, I bet Sara will too."**

"**Lindsay!"**

"**Yes?" **Catherine playfully nudges her daughter and spins around to hide the red that is burning its way onto her face. **"What do you think about these shoes?" **Catherine takes a deep breath before facing her daughter again. Lindsay is holding a pair of black high heels that buckle on the ankle and toe exposing the whole foot.

"**They're cute, but you do realize I am getting the same ones. Will I have to teach you to walk in high heels?"**

"**Yeah you probably will. I don't care if you're getting them as long as we don't wear them on the same day."**

"**Alright. You ready to go?"**

"**Yeah hold on a sec I need to grab some more nail polish."**

"**Okay."** Catherine pays, and they head back to the car. **"Do you want to get a dessert somewhere or something?"**

"**Sure."**

"**There is a coffee shop that I frequent when I'm working, do you want to go there?"**

"**Where ever you want to go."**

"**Alright. "** Catherine turns on the radio to once again fill the heavy silence that has surrounded them. Catherine hears the first lyrics of a familiar song on the radio that reminds her of her feelings for Sara. She adjusts the volume so that it is blaring.

Wherever you are, that's where I'm gonna be  
No matter how far, you'll never be that far from me  
Some how I would find you, move heaven and earth to be by your side  
Oh I'd walk, this world to walk, beside you

No mountain could ever stand between us  
No ocean could ever be that wide  
No river too deep to keep your love from me  
I swear it's the truth  
Nothing can keep me from you  
There's no race I would not go to  
No distance would ever be too far  
To keep me away I'd always find a way  
To show you it's true  
Nothing can keep me from you  
Nothing can keep me from you

I gave you my word; I would be there for you  
And you can be sure there's no mountain that  
I would not move  
Just to lie beside you spend my whole life  
Looking in your eyes  
Yeah I swear, I'm there for you, forever

No mountain could ever stand between us  
No ocean could ever be that wide  
No river too deep to keep your love from me  
I swear it's the truth  
Nothing can keep me from you

And I would go anywhere to be anywhere you are  
And I would do anything just to hold you in my arms  
Nothing can stop a love this strong  
Yeah I swear, I'm there, for you forever

No mountain could ever stand between us  
No ocean could ever be that wide  
No river to deep to keep your love from me  
I swear it's the truth  
Nothing can keep me from you  
There's no race I would not go to  
No distance would ever be too far  
To keep me away Id always find a way to show  
You it's true

Nothing can keep me  
No, nothing can keep me from you  
No mountain, no ocean, no river  
Nothing can keep me from you  
No mountain, no ocean, no river  
No mountain, no ocean, no river  
Nothing can keep me from you

When the song is over Catherine lowers the volume, and gets a glimpse of her daughter who is staring out the window. She has a feeling this is going to be a longer day then she planned.—

Catherine stands outside the door of Sara's hospital room. She has just dropped Lindsay off at a friend's. She can hear laughter coming from inside. She smiles to herself. _And Sara always says she's not a people person._ Opening the door she discovers Sara and her mother in an animate conversation. Sara glances Catherine's direction then her eyes do a double take when she realizes who has entered the room. **"Hey babe. I should have known you would be back tonight."** Catherine sends Sara a small smile, and perches on the end of the bed.

"**Well I have to get going now. I had a nice time today Sara."**

"**Well it was very nice to see you Lily. Thanks again for babysitting me." **Lily gives Sara and Catherine a hug before leaving. She turns one last time and catches sight of her daughter and Sara engaged in a passionate kiss. She just smiles and shakes her head before closing the door.

Sara and Catherine pull away for air, and Catherine crawls up onto the bed curling into Sara's side. **"So how was your day out of this place?"**

"**Okay. I picked up Lindsay and we went to the mall, and then we went and had dessert at a coffee shop."**

"**That sounds fun."**

"**It was. How was your day?"**

"**Alright. I was restless stuck in this bed, but your mom was good company, and the guys stopped by. I made plans with them if it's okay with you."**

"**Of course it is. What are you guys going to do?"**

"**Well we planned on having a cookout at our place, and Nick is bringing his x-box 360 so we can play."**

"**Sounds like fun."**

"**So it's okay?"**

"**I already said it was. I missed you today."**

"**I missed you too baby." **Sara turns on the TV and strokes Catherine's arm as they watch _Two and a Half Men_. She can feel her eyelids becoming heavier by the minute. She stifles a yawn which catches Catherine's attention.

"**Tired?"**

"**A little." **Catherine shifts, and begins to lightly kiss Sara's neck. Sara suppresses a moan that is elicited when Catherine's teeth graze her flesh and her tongue snakes out to soothe her skin. Sara tangles her fingers in Catherine's hair. She lets out a groan of frustration when Catherine stops.

"**Sorry sweetie, but not until the stitches are out, and we are not in the hospital."**

"**Ugh. Catherine come on! You can't just stop. That's not fair!"**

"**It's not?"**

"**No it's not." **Catherine's expression is one of pure innocence. Sara lays with Catherine in her arms after five minutes she impatiently sighs.

"**What?"**

"**Nothing."** Catherine lifts herself and turns to get a better look at the brunette's face. This is what Sara was hoping she would do. She captures the blonde's lips in a fierce kiss their tongues battle for dominance as Sara slips her hand up Catherine's shirt. She begins to massage the blonde's perfect breasts. Moaning at the feel of the soft delicate skin beneath her fingers. The rock hard nipple pushing into her hand. Catherine's breath has become rapid and shallow. Sara is eliciting moans as she pinches, rubs, and pulls in her own pattern. Catherine takes Sara's hand and pushes it lower, down her abdomen and under her jeans.

Sara gazes deeply into Catherine's eyes.**"P…please,"** Catherine attempts to request through ragged breaths. Sara's hand grazes over Catherine's heat she smiles at the blonde, and removes her hand. **"Wha…what?"**

"**Sorry babe not until I get my stitches out and we're out of the hospital."** Sara takes in Catherine's appearance: eyes lust filled, skin flushed, and her expression. Very pissed off.

* * *

TBC... I know nothing of real substanced happened, but I have to get from one period of time to another, and have it still make sense so I thought I would put this chapter up.Sorry for the delay in updating. I have two more chapters left and then this story will be done...sadly. The song in this chapter is Nothing Can Keep Me From You by Kiss. I hope you have enjoyed, and I will update again as soon as possible.


	39. Chapter 39

"**Sara?"**

"**Mmmmm."**

"**People are starting to get here."**

"**Mmmmm."**

"**You need to wake up."**

"**Mmmmm."** Catherine smiles as Sara groans and turns away from her. She lies down next to the brunette snuggling into Sara's back, and wrapping her arm protectively around the younger woman.

"**Please sweetie."**

"**Mmmmm."** Sara flips over and buries her face in Catherine's neck. The sweet scent of Catherine's perfume invades and caresses her senses. Sara places light kisses on the sensitive skin in her reach. The weight on the bed shifts as Catherine props herself up with her arm and brushes her lips against Sara's cheek.

"**I'll meet you downstairs sweetie. Don't make me come back up to get you or you will be in trouble."**

"**Mmmmm."** Sara waits for the closing of the door before rolling over. She knows the sun's light won't attack her so viciously from this side. When she opens her eyes she is greeted by the harsh light of the real world. She shuts her eyes in an attempt to clear the fuzzy edges in her view. She lies there with her eyes closed not ready to rip herself away from the comforting protection of her blankets. As she lies there she realizes when she opened her eyes the first time there was something resting on the pillow beside her. Sara's curiosity gets the best of her and instead of drifting back off to sleep her eyes flutter open. Lifting her head she gazes at the tiny black box, and note resting in front of her. Taking the box into her hands she opens it and discovers a silver ring. The band is decorated with a Celtic cross the width of the band, which is holding a bright, red-orange gem. Around the band are smaller Celtic crosses. On the back of the ring are the letters _C_ and _S_ intertwined in cursive. Engraved on the inside of the band are the words _I will love you forever-C._ Sara opens the note and reads:

_**Sara,**_

_**I wanted you to have something to symbolize our love and promises. I promise you I will be there for you whenever, and I promise to love you forever. I have never felt the way I do around you before. You are my best friend and you give more to me and Lindsay than I could ever ask for. I love you sweetie with all my heart. Catherine**_

Sara can feel hot tears burning trails down her face. She slips on the ring and goes into the bathroom to freshen up.

Catherine is standing on the porch her eyes resting on each of the guests for a moment before moving to the next. In the back yard there is Nancy, Jeremy, a few of his friends, her mother, Lindsay with her friends and Johnny, a young boy that came with Warrick as a little brother, Grissom, Super Dave, and Brass. Nick, Warrick, and Greg are planted in front of the TV in the living room playing video games, and they are still waiting for Doc Robbins and his wife. She hears Nick cry, **"Sara! It is about time!"** She turns and catches sight of the brunette as she sits on the couch. Catherine takes a seat between Nancy, and her mother then leans over to pull the younger woman into a tight embrace.

"**It's been a while. How are you doing Nance?"**

"**I'm doing pretty good. How are things with you?"**

"**Finally settling down. I hope."**

"**Well I think you two should be as long as neither of you put your life at risk for a while."**

"**Ha ha that's funny."**

"**Well I try Cath."**

"**So any new men in your life?"**

"**Psh are you joking?"**

"**I'll take that as a no. Hey, you know Warrick and Tina split up."**

"**Yeah?"**

"**Maybe I could…"**

"**No."**

"**Fine,"** Catherine says putting on a fake pout.

Catherine and Nancy look over their shoulders as they hear Greg exclaim, **"Come on Sidle you have to let us win sometime!"** Catherine smiles and turns to realize her sister is watching her.

"**You really love her don't you?"**

"**Yeah I do."**

"**You should go in there and spend some time with her; don't worry I'll keep an eye on Linzz and Johnny."**

"**Okay thanks."**Catherine takes a last glance around the back yard stopping to observe Grissom, Brass, and her mother having a light hearted conversation. Catherine opens the screen door that leads into the living room from outside, and stands in the doorframe taking in the sight of her girlfriend. Warrick is the first to notice the blonde and gives her a warm smile.

"**Hey darling. You gotta convince your girlfriend to let us win once in a while."** Catherine catches Sara's sparkling eyes with her own. The brunette smiles and it radiates into her eyes. Catherine smiles back as the butterflies in her stomach go wild.

"**Here babe you can take my spot." **Sara moves from the couch to the floor.

"**No Sara hun, it's fine I can sit on the floor."**

"**No Cath take my spot. You need to relax seeing you didn't let me help you get everything ready earlier."**

"**You needed to sleep. It's only been two days since you left the hospital; you need to take it easy."**

"**Yeah, yeah. Come sit your sexy ass down now!"**

"**Fine."**Catherine takes a seat and Sara leans up against her legs. She runs her fingers through Sara's silky hair as she watches the brunette and Warrick race. She leans forward and places a kiss on Sara's head before turning to Nick who is perched on the edge of the sofa to her right. Nick notices Catherine watching him and gives her a brotherly smile before pulling her into a hug.

He whispers in her ear,** "You are glowing. Both you and Sara. It's nice to see the two of you smiling again."**

"**Thanks Nicky,"** she replies in an equally quiet tone. He leans in and gives her a quick peck on the lips.

Greg smiles and raises his voice,** "Nick you are being risky making a move on Sara's girl when she is sitting in the same room."** Sara turns to Catherine, Nick, and Greg who are silently laughing.

All of a sudden Warrick exclaims, **"Yes I won!"** Sara whips back around to the game and realizes she has crashed her car.

"**Awww that's not fair Greg distracted me!"** Sara says as she attempts to whine.

"**Sorry Sar, but I was only warning you. Mr. Texas back here kissed your girlfriend." **Sara only smiles and catches Catherine's eyes letting her know she understands. Catherine and Nick have never had anything more than overprotective, sibling love for each other, and Catherine explained that to her when she walked into the break room a couple weeks ago as Catherine was giving Nick a chaste kiss. Sara immediately understood, because no matter how much Greg flirts with her it is the same for them.

"**Well I have to get the food ready. Hey Rick, will you cook the burgers on the grill?"**

"**Sure Cath. That way we can make sure they aren't as burnt as when Nick cooked them last time."**

"**Hey that wasn't my fault!"**

"**Sure it wasn't man."** Catherine goes to the kitchen and starts to prepare everything.

She is making a veggie platter when she feels two arms snake around her waist and she leans into the touch. Her skin begins to burn where Sara's hands made the path around to her stomach. The brunette rests her head on Catherine's shoulder. Catherine can feel her warm breath tickling her ear. **"I love you with all my heart too baby."**The blonde turns her head so Sara can capture her lips in a passionate kiss. She whimpers as Sara's fingers travel downward and underneath the front of her jeans. Catherine pulls back and giggles.

"**Sara Sidle get your hands out of my pants before someone walks in here. There will be time for that later."**

"**Really? Mmmmm."**

"**Yeah as soon as those stitches come out of your shoulder."**

"**Ugh."** Catherine smiles and places a chaste kiss on Sara's lips before pushing her away.

"**Now get out of here you are distracting me, and we have hungry guests."**

"**Can I help you?"**

"**Sure. Can you finish this up while I make the burgers?"**

"**Yep."** They work in silence until they are done. Catherine grabs the platter and plates of burgers, and heads back outside. Sara follows her with bowls of chips and some dip. The door bell rings and Sara yells for them to come in. Sara retreats into the house and Catherine hears her ask Al to come with her so they can talk in private.

Catherine passes the burgers to Warrick and he places them on the grill before pulling Catherine into a hug. He keeps one arm protectively around her shoulders as he tends to the burgers. They stand in silence for a while watching the teenagers laugh and talk by the trees, and pool. **"We haven't talked in a while girl. It has been too long. Is everything going okay with Linzz? Damn she is growing up fast."**

"**Don't remind me. Things are okay she loves Sara, and we have begun to talk more."**

"**That's good. So what do you know about this Johnny kid?"**Warrick watches the boy with obvious dislike. Catherine isn't surprised by his reaction to Lindsay's boyfriend; the whole team has helped raise her daughter since she was little. They are very protective of the teenager.

"**Not much, but he seems like a sweet kid. I don't know. You should be asking Sara she has taken more time to get to know him than I have. Let's just say it takes a lot of effort for me to stay nice to the boy who I've caught multiple times in the past month kissing my daughter."**

"**Oh. That sounds like fun."**

"**Yeah loads."**

"**Hey Brown stop making moves on my girlfriend,"**Sara says with a friendly, joking expression. Warrick chuckles and removes his arm from Catherine's shoulders. Catherine catches sight of Doc Robbins and his wife standing in the doorway.

"**Hey you two!"** She crosses over to the couple and gives each of them a hug.** "Please make yourselves at home. Drinks are in the cooler if you want one, and help yourselves to food."**

Catherine glances around for Sara and finds her sitting next to Nancy discussing literature with her. Catherine notes Sara has changed her shirt to a tank top. She doesn't think anything about it until she moves to massage Sara's shoulders. **"Hey Sar?"**

"**Yeah babe?"**

"**Why aren't there any stitches in your shoulder?"**

Sara twists so she is facing Catherine with a mischievous grin. **"I persuaded Al to take them out."**

"**You what!? Al!"**

"**Yes?"** Doc Robbins sends Catherine a genuinely puzzled look.

"**You took out Sara's stitches!"**

"**Yes. Don't worry Catherine I made sure she was healed enough to remove them. She was fine. Sara had already almost healed when I visited her for the second time in the hospital. The doctors probably left them in for a precaution, but she doesn't need them." **Catherine directs her attention back on Sara and raises and eyebrow causing Sara to smile even more. Catherine laughs as Sara grabs her hand and tugs it causing Catherine to lose balance and fall onto Sara's lap. Catherine leans forward and engages in a conversation with Grissom as Sara wraps her arms around Catherine's waist, and continues her conversation with Nancy.

All of the teenagers decide to go into the living room and play video games. Catherine is desperately trying to focus on what Grissom is saying, but Sara has slipped her thumb under Catherine's shirt and is rubbing circles on her hip. _I would never have thought such a small gesture would make my body react so much, but then again everything with Sara is unexpected. Wonderful, but unexpected._

Catherine stands up and excuses herself from the conversation so she can grab the radio and some CDs. Her real reason is so that she can get control of her heartbeat. She walks into the kitchen and leans against the counter closing her eyes to catch her breath. She opens her eyes and discovers her daughter standing in the door frame observing her. **"Hey sweetie."**

"**Hey,"** Lindsay says quietly.

"**You having fun?"**

"**Yeah. You know even though Devin is a little younger than us he is still pretty cool, Warrick should stop by with him more often."**

"**Well you should suggest it."**

"**I will."** Catherine sends Lindsay a puzzled look when a wide smile breaks onto the teenager's face.

"**What?"**

"**You look genuinely happy for once. It has been forever since I've seen you like this. Actually maybe never before now that I think about it." **Catherine smiles and walks over to Lindsay pulling her into a hug.

"**You look happy for the first time in a while too sweetie."**

"**That's because I am."**Catherine brushes her lips against her daughter's forehead and grabs the radio on the way out. She plugs the radio in outside and chooses a CD. Leaning against the edge of the porch Catherine beams as she watches Sara smiling and laughing causing her heart to swell with love.

* * *

TBC... I wanted to have Sofia there because she is part of the team but she hasn't actually been on the show lately and Louise Lombard is no longer in the credits. Does anybody know what's going on with that? Did I miss some part saying why Sofia disappeared or did she just disappear? Well one chapter left ( when I finish this story I am going to have died a little inside because it has become part of me, but I will move on and create more. I hope you enjoyed!


	40. Chapter 40

Specifically for the vague rating system you've been forewarned NC-17.

* * *

"**Bye Rick."**

"**See ya Cath."** Catherine leans in and gives her friend a hug. She watches him back out of the driveway and sighs with relief that all of their guests are gone. Closing her eyes she lets the wind caress her face before turning to find Sara watching her with a wide grin.

"**What?"**

"**Nothing."** Catherine walks over and leans into the brunette resting her head on Sara's shoulder. Sara circles her arms around Catherine and places a kiss on her head. **"Lindsay and Johnny want to go to the arcade are you up for it?"**

"**Yeah why?"**

"**You look tired."**

"**I am."** Catherine gaze up into the brunette's caring eyes. She rests her head back on the Sara's shoulder before quietly repeating, **"I am Sar." **She knows that the brunette has picked up on her double meaning. The past few months have taking their toll on the blonde. She hasn't had time to stop and rest. When Sara looks at her she can see Catherine still hasn't completely healed from her attack. The blonde still hasn't put on much weight, and is still running on no energy, but most of the damage is on the inside. Wounds that have yet to heal. Insecurities and fears. She still catches the blonde some nights coming back from the kitchen after a nightmare. Sara wishes she could help Catherine, but only time can. Hopefully.

Catherine pulls Sara out of her thoughts by stroking her cheek. She catches Sara's lips with her own in a kiss filled of understanding and love. No impatience or lust. Only love. They pull away and Catherine wraps her arms around Sara's neck and starts to rub the soft skin she discovers under silky hair. Burring her face in Sara's neck she closes her eyes and relaxes.

Lindsay's voice floats through the doors as she comes closer, **"Hey are you guys ready ye…. Oh sorry."**

Sara brushes her lips against Catherine's cheek once more before ending the embrace. **"Yeah we're coming Linzz."**

"**Okay we'll wait in the car."** Catherine grabs Sara's hand as they walk to the car.—

Surrounded by the sounds and lights of video games Catherine observes as Sara and Johnny play Aliens versus Predators. She can't help but chuckle at the concentration on Sara's face. Feeling a tap on her back Catherine looks over her shoulder and can barely make out Lindsay saying, **"Do you want to race with me?"** Catherine nods and follows her daughter.

Lindsay and Catherine remain side by side through the whole race, but Catherine become's distracted when Sara's hands rest on her shoulders. Lindsay punches the air in victory, and Catherine moves so Johnny can take her place. Catherine informs Lindsay that she and Sara are going to get some fresh air and then drags the younger woman outside. Catherine wraps her arm around Sara's waist and leans into the brunette's side.** "I thought I would never get you out of there."**

"**Ah babe I can think of a few ways you could have."**

"**Without scarring my child for life… again?"**

"**No."**

"**Well you see there is the problem."**

"**It's only a problem if Lindsay is looking." **Catherine shakes her head at the Sara. She moves closer to Sara's ear and lets her closeness roll over the brunette. Sara's breath hitches at the sensation Catherine's warm breath is leaving on her ear.

Catherine whispers, **"What kind of things?" **Sara takes a deep breath and tries to reply when she feels Catherine's hand trailing up her side and brushing over her breast. **"Hmm, what's that Sara?"** Sara gazes at Catherine; the blonde notes the desire that has darkened her eyes. Catherine smiles then presses closer into Sara's side.

They begin to walk peering into the shop windows. When they return they find Lindsay and Johnny waiting. Lindsay is on her phone. **"Hold on."** She returns her attention to her mom. **"Can I go to Jen's tonight?"**

"**Sure, why not. We will drop you off after we bring Johnny home."** Lindsay goes back to her conversation. Catherine can feel eyes on her and she looks up from the spot she was focusing on, on the ground to discover Johnny observing her. She sends him a small smile and he blushes from being caught, but returns the gesture. Lindsay gets off the phone after what seems like an eternity of silence between the other three, and turns back to face them. **"So is there anything else you two want to do while we are here." **

Lindsay glances at her boyfriend silently asking him what he thinks. Sara feeling the silence is overbearing says, **"What about ice cream or something?"**

"**That sounds good,"** Lindsay replies as Sara looks away from the three pair of grateful eyes staring at her. Crossing the road they enter the ice cream shop. After ordering they fall into an awkward silence again. This time it is broken by Catherine who is attempting to stifle a yawn, but fails.

Sara smiles at Lindsay, and comments teasingly, **"Looks like it is bed time for your mom. She's getting a little too old to be up this late."** Lindsay and Johnny laugh, and Catherine kicks Sara under the table. **"Oww." **Catherine glances over at Sara innocently, but can't help but laugh at the glare the brunette is sending her.

"**That's what you get for reminding me I'm old."** This comment causes the teenagers to laugh even harder, and Sara looks at them with an expression of mock hurt.

"**You are supposed to be on my side!"**

"**Oh no. You aren't dragging us into this," **Lindsay replies. Johnny shyly smiles, but keeps to himself. The one thing that surprised Catherine to find out about her daughter's boyfriend is he is actually shy despite his appearance.

Catherine turns to the boy, **"What about you Johnny? You're on my side right?"**

"**Umm I'm not sure I want to be on sides Ms. Willows. Both you and Ms. Side seem like you could be dangerous when you're mad."** Catherine chuckles at the boy's accuracy.

"**Well judging by your comment you are on Sara's side."**

"**Huh."**

"**Well you keep calling me Ms. Willows rubbing in the fact that I'm old even though I keep insisting that you call me Catherine."**

"**Or God,"** Sara pipes in. Catherine swats the brunette even though she has caused the kids to break into a fit of laughter.

When they finish their ice creams Lindsay requests a quick stop at the bookstore on the way home. They ride there in an awkward silence. Lindsay and Johnny bolt out of the car as soon as they get there, and Sara has the urge to follow their example. She hasn't gotten the chance to get a new book in ages.

Catherine slowly walks through the parking lot her gaze focused on the ground as she allows her mind to race. _Sara didn't mean anything by her comment that you are old and you know that. She was only joking. Trying to get rid of the suffocating silence. Still what if that is what she really thinks? What if she is waiting for a younger model to come around? It's not the first time I've seen it happen. It's not the first time I've had it happen to me either. She's not like that; she loves you! Stop thinking about it. She meant absolutely nothing by it and you know it. But what if……._ An arm slides along Catherine's waist and she pulls away. With venom in her voice she lashes out, **"Sorry, God is too old to be seen with you."** She risks a peek at the brunette's expression. Sara has frozen with a fear and uncertainty dancing across her features. Catherine can almost see the gears in her mind cranking overtime trying to figure out what she did wrong. The sight is painful to Catherine she can feel her heart breaking even more with every second. So she returns her attention to the ground and walks into the store.

The blonde snuggles into one of the inviting leather chairs in the back of the store attempting to hide from Sara. She doesn't know why she had to hurt Sara, but at the same time she does. She's in denial. She is afraid of getting too close to Sara. She is torn between the raw passion and love she feels for the younger woman, and the amount of times she has been replaced and crushed. She is looking for anything wrong. A way out of something she doesn't want to leave. Her brain and heart have collided in a full on war. She wants to run into Sara's arms and apologize. To confess her fears and cry out all her pain in the strong yet gentle world Sara has created for them where they are all alone. Sara's arms. Still something holds her back. It is pulling tighter and tighter dragging Catherine back into her old ways of fighting and pretending not to care for Sara. No matter how hard she tries she cannot escape the invisible bond. Her past.

Catherine has pulled her knees into herself and zoned out trying to end the fighting inside her, or at least make sense of it. She jumps when someone places a hand on her shoulder. Twisting to see who it is her war suddenly ceases with the sight of the person standing behind her. Sara's dark caring eyes are probing beneath the surface. Seeing things that Catherine believes herself to have never known to be inside of her. Without saying anything Catherine watches her needs register in Sara's eyes. Guilt has flooded the blonde at the sight of tears welling in the brunette's eyes. Her selfishness has cost her again, but she is certain Sara won't show her weakness any more than the uncontrollable tears. She knows Sara will remain strong for her, and for their relationship. The brunette has already forgiven her.

Next thing she knows she is sitting in Sara's lap with the brunette's arms wrapped tightly around her. Soothing all of her insecurities even though Sara doesn't know what those are yet. Catherine has buried her face in Sara's neck and is letting the tears out slowly, one by one, giving them permission to trickle down her face.

The warm tears on her neck unsettle Sara. She brushes her lips over the top of Catherine's head, and tightens her grip afraid she might lose what she hasn't gotten the chance to have. Catherine. All of the woman's emotions and all of her heart. The relationship they have barely formed. She fears the silent reminder lingering over head. The relationship can come crumbling down at any moment. It is a risk between them that they have been willing to take, but not willing to accept. One wrong move and they could lose everything. No matter how little the blow.

Catherine wraps her arms around Sara's neck and places light kisses on the exposed flesh. She takes a deep breath and prepares herself to take the first step. To clean up her damage. Her voice comes out as a rapid whisper, **"I'm so sorry Sara sweetie. I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have flipped out at you; I'm so sorry. I know you didn't mean anything by your comment about my age, but you hit one of my insecurities. I'm so afraid that you will leave me without a second thought after you find a newer model that can please you more, and doesn't come with so much baggage. Between my emotional rollercoaster, my daughter, and my past I'm so scared that you would leave in a heartbeat. But the thing is I know that you won't Sara. I sorry. I'm sorry for doubting you, and for blowing up at you. Hell I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave; I'm sitting here rambling like a crazy person."** Catherine holds her breath waiting for a response from the woman of her dreams. She knows she has just revealed concepts that might need time to be thought about, but she wishes Sara would say something. The silence is scaring her.

"**Ah yes darling you might be crazy, but you are my crazy, rambling girlfriend, and nothing in the world can force me to leave your side. Catherine you have to trust me I'm scared too, but I assumed you would think more of me. I love every little thing about you. Imperfection and perfections, everything. I love your daughter and I love your whirlwind of emotions. Don't worry about being crazy Cath, because I am too, but I would never be crazy enough to leave you for another person. I would never be able to I'm too crazy about you. To tell you the truth I don't think I will ever find anyone sexier ****than you to leave you for anyways. You have all that I want and more. You're my hot, crazy girlfriend and there is nothing I would ever change about you, or about us. I love you babe. I always did, I do, and I always will."**

Catherine searches out Sara's eyes and gazes into them with amazement wondering if the woman holding her is real. In the safety of Sara's arms Catherine knows the brunette is real, and she is ready to face whatever comes their way together. She has finally found someone that will still love her and stand beside her because of who she is. When she saw Sara again for the first time five months ago she would have never believed this would happen with the person she was head over heels for. If you asked her about the possibility of her and Sara together she would have laughed, but then would have gone home and silently cried her eyes out for what she could never have. The past is the past though, and right now she is completely content with living in the present.

Catherine engages Sara in a warm, loving kiss. She follows the brunette tightly holding on to Sara's hand as the younger woman looks at book. After Sara has finished and has a pile of books tucked under one arm they go to find Lindsay and Johnny.

To Sara's amusement they find the two teenagers making out in a secluded section near the anime. Sara glances at Catherine and almost falls on the floor silently laughing. The blonde's jaw is clenched; disgust and anger blanketing her feature along with embarrassment. Catherine is certain that her expression is probably hilarious, but right now she is too full of emotions to care. She clears her throat to get the kids attention. Lindsay and Johnny spin around. Their faces have both turn tomato red, and they have stepped away from each other. Their attention has been pulled to an interesting spot of the floor. **"You two ready?" **–

Catherine hears the front door open and she is drown by anticipation. Sara had volunteered to drop off Linzz and Johnny after Lindsay grabbed her stuff for the sleep over. **"Catherine?"** Catherine doesn't reply and waits for the brunette to find her. Footsteps sound in the hall and Catherine attempts to get rid of the images floating around in her head. The bedroom door opens and she observes as Sara freezes in the doorframe.

The brunette is overwhelm by the sudden flood of desire and passion that has been released within her. Catherine is laying on the bed in a dark red, lacy bra and matching boy shorts. **"Are you going to stand there all night sweetie?"** Catherine's voice comes out lower and huskier than she expected. She notes how Sara's eyes darken a shade with more desire. Sara is too memorized by Catherine's milky white skin bathing in candle light to reply. She crosses the room her eyes never leaving Catherine's body. The body of a Goddess. Sara perches on the edge of the bed and gazes into Catherine's midnight blue pools. Catherine removes herself from the bed and stands in front of Sara. Slowly she unbuttons the brunette's shirt and slides it off Sara's shoulders. Running her fingers down the brunette's silky arms then she slips off Sara's jeans.

Leading Sara back onto the bed Catherine lays on her side so she is face to face with her lover. Gently Catherine trails her thumb over Sara's bottom lip. Sara caresses Catherine's cheek. Slowly and shyly their lips meet in a warm kiss. Catherine enjoys the sensation of Sara's soft lips against hers. There is no rush for them, their desire for the moment overtaken by love. For a while they are satisfied with light touches and sweet kisses. Basking in each other's love and nothing more. They aren't certain how long it has been. Sara allows her tongue to venture out and trace Catherine's lips. The blonde immediately grants access to her mouth and their tongues find each other's and begin to battle for dominance. When they pull away for air Catherine finds herself lost in the depth of Sara's eyes. She captures Sara's lips and in a silent agreement they slow things down. Tongue meeting and caressing in the middle. Carefully exploring every inch of the other woman's mouth. Catherine places her hands on Sara's tight stomach and rubs circles as her hand journeys upward to the brunette's firm breasts. Sara runs her nails tenderly down Catherine's back and slides her hands beneath the lacey fabric covering Catherine's ass. Catherine moans as Sara's hand tightens its grip. Catherine's finger tips graze over Sara's erect nipples before making their way back up to the brunette's face. The blonde moves so she can hover over Sara and absorb all of the younger woman's beauty as she becomes uncovered. Slowly Catherine runs her fingers under the straps of Sara's bra before unclasping it and discarding the item somewhere on the floor. A smile creeps onto Catherine's face at the sight of Sara's hardened, dark honey colored nipples against porcelain skin. **"You're so beautiful,"** Catherine whispers as she lowers her lips to Sara's neck. Teasing the brunette with teeth and tongue. She switches her attention to Sara's breast. Circling her nipple with a warm tongue Catherine moans as her hand wanders to the brunette's other breast and is confronted with a taunt nipple straining against her palm. When she is finished twisting, licking, and pinching Catherine sits up and gazes into Sara's eyes.

Sara is breath taken by the sight of Catherine looking down at her. The blonde straddling her waist is slightly flushed, her lips still swollen from kissing, and dark blue pools sparkling with love and desire. The sight elicits a groan from Sara's throat that she had been suppressing. There is only one thing that could make this sight even more perfect. Sara runs her fingers up Catherine's arms and around to her toned back in search of the bra clasp. Expertly she removes Catherine's bra and moans as full breast and dark pink nipples appear. Sara caresses the delicate skin on the underside of Catherine's breast the sensation causes the blonde to close her eyes and whimper.

Catherine begins to work her way down Sara's body lavishing her tight stomach with kisses, licks, and nips. Carefully she spreads Sara's legs and places herself between them. Slipping off the brunette's thong she moves her attention back to Sara's most intimate place. The glistening wetness excites Catherine. She kisses up Sara's thighs longing to reach the velvety spot between Sara's legs. When Catherine's tongue finally swirls around the sensitive bundle of nerves Sara moans out Catherine's name. Catherine continues to tease the brunette with her tongue dipping it into Sara's folds and running it along the entire length of Sara's clit before finally plunging her tongue into the brunette. Sara starts to let out a mix of unclear words.

Sara finally manages to croak out, **"More." **Catherine quickly replies by sliding two fingers into Sara. She begins to thrust harder and harder feeling the brunette's walls starting to constrict around her fingers. She places her thumb on Sara's clit and thrust curling her fingers inside the woman.

Waves of intense of pleasure crash over Sara. Catherine continues to thrust milking the orgasm. As the last wave comes over her Sara shakes. When she reopens her eyes Catherine is hovering over her smiling. She places a shaking hand on the back of Catherine's neck and pulls her in for a kiss. Warm and loving causing Sara's lips to tingle.

Catherine curls herself around Sara moving the sweat plastered hair from Sara's forehead. She places butterfly kisses along the younger woman's jaw, and smiles lost in Sara's loving eyes.

Sara gathers her strength after about ten minutes and molds herself to Catherine's side. Her hand slides up the undulating muscles of Catherine's stomach to her breast. Taking a nipple between her fingers she twist and pulls eliciting a series of moans from Catherine. Sara grazes her teeth over the weak spot on Catherine's neck then licks away the pain. Moving up slightly she gazes into Catherine's eyes before brushing her lips against the blonde's. Catherine captures Sara's lips and quickly sucks Sara's bottom lip into her mouth. When they pull apart for air Catherine takes Sara's hand and guides it downward. Sara complies by moving her body between Catherine's legs. Catherine satisfied that Sara is where she wants her lets go of Sara. Sara takes the chance to move her focus back up to Catherine's chest. She takes one nipple into her mouth and bites down gently causing Catherine to groan in pleasure. Catherine pushes her other breast toward Sara, but the brunette ignores it as she continues to lavish attention on the other. Finally after what seems like forever to Catherine, Sara switches to the other breast and rapidly has Catherine close to the edge. **"Please Sara I need you in me." **Sara smiles into Catherine's chest before sliding two fingers into the blonde and lying flat on top of her. Catherine begins to rock her hips against Sara's and Sara picks up on her rhythm. Sara starts to plunger her fingers deeper curling them on the way out.

Catherine begins to shake with an earth shattering orgasm. Repeatedly she moans Sara's name and digs her nails into the brunette's back. Sara bites Catherine's shoulder as she reaches her second orgasm at the sight of Catherine squirming beneath her.

Once Catherine stops shaking Sara switches her position so that she is on her knees beside Catherine holding the blonde's hand. She begins to pump her fingers in and out again. She rubs Catherine's already sensitive clit as she pumps and soon she finds herself again watching the most beautiful sight she has ever seen. Catherine falling over the edge.

Catherine feels Sara slip her fingers out from inside her. She keeps a firm grip on the brunette's hand. Catherine allows Sara to pull her on top of the brunette. Sara's arms snake around Catherine holding her sweaty body close as she recovers. Catherine kisses Sara with everything she has trying to express all of her emotions through the connection. Pulling away but keeping contact by resting her forehead on Sara's Catherine whispers, **"I love you."**

Sara smiles and replies in an equally hushed tone, **"I love you too."** Catherine watches Sara as the younger woman begins to fall into a peaceful sleep. Before the brunette can doze off Catherine moves her mouth close to the brunette's ear causing Sara's eyes to flutter open.

Catherine's voice is barely audible when she says,** "Forever."**

* * *

The End...

Thanks everyone for all the reviews and support!

_One last time please make me smile by telling me what you thought )_


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